Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

TRISTAN

“ S till no word?” Tank asks me over the sound of the spin bikes.

We’re both hitting them hard, Tank’s question punctuated by heavy breaths. I’m panting, my whole body burning, but I push harder. Tank doesn’t need me to tell him no . I would’ve told him if Raffie or Carlo had contacted me about the meet. Maybe Carlo sensed something was off after the fact.

“Damn, T,” Tank grunts, gasping as I push the pace.

“DOR anytime you want, motherfucker.”

DOR is Drop on Request, and no self-respecting Marine is ever going to let another jarhead say some shit like that to him and then quit. Tank grits his teeth, leaning into each stride and looking at my display. “One … forty… RPM … what !?”

I grunt as I push even more, remembering when I wanted to quit and go soft, but I kept going. I kept pushing. Finally, we stop, and Tank slides off the bike and collapses onto his back, staring at the ceiling.

“Good work,” I say, grinning down at him, but then I stumble to the closest seat. My legs feel like they’re going to give out, too. After a minute, we get up, both of us stretching out.

“You need a date,” he says with a smirk. “Get that demon out of you.”

“Yeah, right,” I growl. “Tristan’s Tails is on the brink of becoming FUBAR. I need to get this Raffie shit sorted so I can find out how I’m going to fix the home. I need to cut back.”

“Staff?”

“No,” I grunt. “I’ll cut corners. We don’t need the fake waterfall flowing all day. Stuff like that.”

“That’s cents, T. You need more than that.”

“I’m not firing her,” I snap before he brings it up again as we head toward the gym locker rooms together.

“You’re paying her to stay home and have a dog vacation. People would pay to be in her spot.”

“Just drop it.”

As I shower, the water flowing down the fresh-shaven sides of my head, I try not to think about her. I try not to see the curves of her body or to remember her taste. When I was grinding her against the desk, I wanted to let it all out so badly.

Tear her pants down, rip her underwear aside, and get a look at her dripping core. I could hear how badly she wanted it as she moaned; I could taste it, feel it in the passionate warmth of each breath. She was as hungry as me.

With a grunt, I quickly turn the shower to cold, as icy as it’ll go. I can’t let my hard-on rule me or even this passion that’s creeping up on me.

I need to remember Vanessa. Remember how it all ended. Remember the promise I made to myself.

Yet, with Maya, I can’t, dammit. Even the cold water does nothing to kill my rock-hard dick, the tip leaking precome, my base burning. It’s like I can almost feel myself slipping into her tightness. I can see her eyes widening as she takes me, as she slides further and further …

I open my eyes, realizing I’m sinking into the fantasy. What am I going to do, jerk off in the gym shower?

Quickly washing, I take a minute to let the passion drain away, focusing my mind on the tiles on the wall, counting them as my solid length slowly returns to normal.

Outside in the parking lot, Tank says, “Keep me posted.” Then he climbs into his car.

I don’t drive away at first. The gym is closer to Maya’s house than Tristan’s Tails is. I could swing by and tell her I wanted to see Loki. Is that a lame excuse? She won’t be surprised that I know where she lives. I can say I asked Simone where she lives.

Do I want to see her that badly? Part of me wishes I could stop thinking about that kiss, about her grinding against me through our clothes, about her sassiness, her toughness. When I really think about it, I don’t want to.

Be cold; be tactical. If not seeing her distracts me, I should visit, shouldn’t I, to calm myself down. Or maybe that’s just a justification. Calling up Simone at the home, I say, “Hey, can you check something for me?”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“When are Loki and Luna due for their monthly pills?”

“Uh …” She taps a few keys. “About a week.”

“Hmm.” I nod to myself. “Maybe I’ll swing by the vet, then take them down to Maya so she can give them the pills.”

“Uh, okay,” Simone says, probably wondering why I’m offering so much information.

She doesn’t understand that I need to convince her, myself, and the world. After saying goodbye, I start the drive toward the vet.

Parking outside Maya’s house, I look across at the rundown fa?ade, the chipped wooden steps, and the general tired look of it. It wouldn’t be so difficult to patch a few things up and give it a lick of paint. But it’s not my place to offer something like that.

I walk up the stone path. Despite the cracks in the concrete, the path is weeded, and the lawn looks somewhat cared for. With how busy Maya is, that’s saying a lot.

I haven’t called or texted ahead to let her know I’m coming, which might’ve been a mistake. Maybe part of me wants for her not to be in.

I hear Loki yapping and scratching at it the second I reach the door. I don’t have to wonder before the door swings open, and Maya is standing there.

Holy. Fuck .

It’s sunny, so her outfit makes sense, but looking at her still fills me with fire. She’s wearing shorts that show her thick, curvy legs. Sweat clings to her, sliding down her skin. Her white tank top shows the pink of her bra underneath, and her hair is hanging-around-the-house messy. There’s something that triggers me. Instantly, I want to tear off her tank top and rip apart her bra.

Free those tits …

Fuck .

Luckily, Loki is all over me, giving me an excuse to kneel and pay the little guy attention. That way, hopefully, I can calm the heat pulsing in me just a little.

When I stand, Maya is adjusting her hair. Her tank top shifts, drawing attention to her big, bouncy tits. My manhood hardens again. I can’t help it.

“Hey, Tristan,” she murmurs.

“I’ve got some medication for the dogs,” I tell her, the explanation sounding lame.

At my words, she offers a smile that makes all of this worth it. It brightens my day. It’s been years since anything other than a canine has done that for me.

“Do you want to tea?” she asks. “Um, I mean, do you want some iced tea?” She tenses up like she’s embarrassed at her blunder. It causes her body to ripple in a way that has my mind going to all sorts of hungry places. Primal places. Fuck, I could softly bite her big tit and leave an imprint there.

“Yes,” I say quickly. “Thank you, I mean.” Now I’m tensing up. “Come on, boy.”

I scoop Loki into my arms, the best distraction, as she leads me into the house, closing the door behind me. Her scent makes me want to lean in when she gets close, but Loki’s between us. Maybe that’s for the best. The terrier whines, yawning like he can sense tension in the air.

“Maya?” a voice calls, old but with some strength. “Maya?”

“Sorry.” Maya turns to me. “It’s my mom. She has ALS. Did I mention that?” She seems flustered. “Do you want to meet her?” She asks the question suddenly, then looks like she might want to take it back.

I watch her, waiting to see if she will. Her wild hair is easy to look at and savor, the waves she’s tried to tame but won’t stay put. When I see she means it, I nod. “Sure.”

Putting Loki down, I walk at her shoulder. “Stay, you two.” When she waggles a finger at Loki and Luna, my smile feels like the biggest relief, like water after four days of dehydration.

“What?” Maya says, when I stare at her, laughing cutely.

“Just you,” I whisper.

Her cheeks redden. I swear they do like we’re in a movie. Then she quickly turns away and pushes the door open, like she doesn’t want to hover.

“Mom, are you okay?” Maya walks ahead, poking her head around the door.

“I heard a voice.”

“Yeah, it’s Tristan. Remember, the guy who owns the dog home where I work?” Maya turns to me, proving I wasn’t imagining it. Her cheeks are flushed. It moves down her neck, making her look alive and hot as hell, too. “Sorry.”

I reach forward, don’t stop to think about it, cupping her cheek and stroking it softly. “You’ve got nothing to apologize for.”

She lets my touch linger. It seems to calm her down, and that makes me feel damn good.

“Oh, come in, come in,” she says.

I walk into the room. It’s clean, and the window is cracked. The woman is clearly cared for. The sight of a respirator and the clear medical frame of the bed, surrounded by equipment, tells me right away she should be in a home. Maya sees me looking, then offers a frown. I get the sense she knows exactly what I’m thinking. She’s always watching, always picking the world apart.

“Mom, Tristan is?—”

“Derrick?” she suddenly cuts in.

“No, Mom.” Maya’s voice suddenly wavers. “She’s on some new meds. It’s got her feeling a little spaced out. Maybe this was a mistake.”

“Derrick?” she moans.

“Who’s Derrick?” I ask quietly.

“My dad. He left when I was nine.”

I hesitate, then say, “Maybe I should go to her.”

“Derrick?” she wails, her voice more tangled with agony this time. Seeing her on the bed breaks my heart if I’ve got one left to break.

“What’s her name?” I whisper.

“Julia.”

I approach the bed slowly. The woman is wasted away, her skin sunken against her frame, like the sickness is trying to show me her skeleton. Her voice gets raspy as she looks up at me.

“Derrick,” she rasps.

I sit down, leaning close so she doesn’t have to speak so loudly. Maya hovers at my shoulder. I can feel her presence, but I can’t see her. Her breaths are coming quickly, almost tempting me to turn, but then her mom suddenly reaches out and grabs my hand.

“Whoa,” Maya whispers. “Mom?—”

“Whatever this is, she might need it,” I say to Maya softly.

Julia’s eyes water, then refocus. Her touch is so weak. She feels so fragile, but she does her best to hold on. “Derrick, please, don’t do this. I can’t bear the thought of Maya growing up without you. She needs her father. We promised each other forever, remember? Through sickness and health, for richer or poorer. We can’t just throw that away.”

Maya croaks, but she doesn’t stop her mother. Julia’s eyes are filled with tears as she goes on, but her voice is surprisingly sure.

“Think about all we’ve built together: our home, our dreams. Remember how we used to talk about traveling the world with Maya? We’d show her all those places we’ve only seen in pictures. You can’t just walk away from that. We can still have that future. We can still make those memories.”

Maya drops into a chair somewhere behind me. I hear the thump of it like all the life is draining from her. I sense the importance of this moment. A good Marine knows when to keep his mouth shut. I cradle Julia’s hand.

“I know things have been hard lately,” she says with devastating hope. “But we’ve faced challenges before and come out stronger. We can do it again. Just give us a chance. I’ll do whatever it takes to make things right. Therapy, counseling, whatever you need. We can fix this.”

“Oh, Mom,” Maya croaks.

I think it’s over, but then Julia grips me harder. It’s like she’s trying to sit up, but the illness won’t let her. She groans, “Derrick, you’ll regret it if you leave. I won’t make it easy for you. I’ll fight for Maya. I’ll fight for our family. You’ll never find another woman who loves you like I do. You think you’ll be happier without us? Fine. Remember, karma has a way of coming back around. Maya deserves better than a father who walks away when things get tough.”

She suddenly cuts off, gasping, her voice sounding raw and achy, like it’s finally failing her. She seems on the verge of passing out. Her last words before she falls asleep are even quieter than a whisper. “Please. Think about what you’re doing. Think about the promises we made. Don’t let this be the end of us.”

I wait until she starts breathing softly and then stand up. Maya won’t look at her. She moves to the other side of her mom’s bed, face down, cheeks shiny with tears.

“Will you wait outside? I’ll meet you in living room. Okay?”

“Maya—”

“Okay?”

I sigh. It’s not like I can exactly tell her no. Leaving the room, I find Loki patiently waiting for me, sitting in his spot, head tilted, as if he’s asking just what the hell is going on.

“Come on, boy,” I say. “Let’s give them their space.”

Walking out onto the back porch, I wonder if I did the right thing. Maybe it would’ve been better for Maya not to hear all that, but it’s done now. All I can do is be there for her if she needs me.