9. Abby

9

ABBY

A bby woke the next morning to a text from Grace, giving her the cell number of Dr. Ford, the veterinarian in town. She encouraged Abby to reach out anytime and that he was expecting her call. Buoyed by the thought of a possible job, she called right away. Before she knew what had happened, she had an interview with him that very afternoon.

Apparently, knowing her situation, Doc Ford said to bring the children with her. “My wife and I raised four kids and know how hard it is to juggle work and childcare. They can stay with Mariah while you and I talk. She’s my receptionist. Loves kids.”

Abby hung up the phone and, tightening her bathrobe, wandered over the bedroom window that overlooked the front yard. Rufus, who had been asleep at the bottom of the bed, raised his head but must have decided it was too early for him because he blinked a few times and then curled into a ball and went back to sleep.

The snow from the day before sparkled under the sun but showed no signs of melting. She’d gotten a good night’s sleep, comfortable and warm in an actual bed as opposed to the couch. Regardless, she felt jumpy, her stomach a bundle of nerves.

She had an interview for an actual job. Normally she would be ecstatic at the prospect of a position but instead, she felt worried about how she would manage a job and the kids.

Then there’s Luke. Although they’d agreed to be friends, she couldn’t stop thinking about him. She’d not been this attracted to anyone ever.

In the bright light of morning, she started to wonder if it was such a great idea to hang out with him, even as friends. In fact, it might be a terrible one. What if she fell in love with him? What if he broke her heart? The children had to be her priority. They would be confused and anxious if she started dating their neighbor. Wouldn’t they? Even if she kept it apart from them, would the time away from them, focused on someone else, harm the children?

She had no idea how to do any of this. Why had Ramona trusted her?

Because there was no one else.

She thought back to those difficult months after her mother’s death. She had been old enough that she’d not been forced to move in with a stranger. Sophie and Jack didn’t have choices about their futures. They were at the mercy of the adults in their lives. Specifically, Abby.

The crushing burden of responsibility quickened her pulse. Sophie and Jack were so young. Not only did they have to mourn their mother, they had to adjust to a new caregiver living in their mother’s house, sleeping in her bed.

Never mind. They’d agreed to be friends. She needed to stop this endless loop of worry.

Abby was in no position to start a romance with the hunky guy across the meadow. She had to learn how to be a mother while taking on a new job, leaving no room for Luke.

Even though he was wonderful, the memory of his kiss wouldn’t fade any time soon. If she’d met him at any other point in her life, she’d have jumped at the chance to date him and see where the relationship would go. But everything was different now. She had to face the truth. Her life was no longer her own.

She went downstairs to find the children eating bowls of bran cereal at the island while reading. Their heads bent over books tugged at Abby’s heartstrings. They were precious.

“Good morning, guys,” Abby said.

“Hi, Abby,” Jack said.

Sophie mumbled good morning, looking up from her book briefly to give her a polite smile.

“You need anything else for breakfast?” A dart of guilt pierced her. Should she have gotten up earlier and made a hot meal? Is that what good mothers did?

“No, we like cereal,” Sophie said. “Mom let us have it as long as there was no sugar in it.”

“Did she make you a hot breakfast most days?” Abby asked, heading toward the coffee maker.

“Sometimes. On weekends,” Sophie said. “But she said cereal’s way faster and leaves nothing to clean up.”

The kids continued to eat while Abby made a small pot of coffee for herself. Soon, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air. She took a few bracing sips before asking the children if they could talk.

They set aside their books and looked up at her expectedly.

“I have an interview later with Doc Ford,” Abby said. “And you’re going to come with me and stay with the receptionist while I talk with the doctor.”

“Are you going to work there?” Sophie asked.

“If I get the job, yes.”

“Will we go to Grace’s like we did when Mom worked at the store?” Jack asked.

“I haven’t talked to her specifically about it, but that would be my guess.” Abby held her coffee mug with both hands, watching the children for signs of…what exactly? “Is that okay?”

“We love it there,” Sophie said. “And we love Grace.”

“And Lily worships me,” Jack said.

Abby stifled a laugh. Anyway, it was true. The little girl hung on Jack’s every word.

“What happens if you don’t get the job?” Sophie asked. “Will we still have Christmas?”

The question took her aback. They associated her employment with whether they would have gifts at Christmas? How bad had it gotten for Ramona over the years?

“Of course we will. I’ll find some kind of job, even if it’s not with animals. Don’t worry about that. Anyway, I graduated at the top of my class. If Doc Ford likes me, I think he’ll offer me a position. Grace told me he wants to cut back on his hours and enjoy a semiretirement.”

“What’s that?” Jack asked.

“It means working less days,” Abby said. “Like if you only had to go to school two days a week instead of five.”

“That would be terrible,” Sophie said. “I love school.”

“I loved school, too.” Abby smiled. Her ambition and love of learning had been the one constant throughout her life. Hopefully, all her hard work would result in a job offer today.

“Maybe only really smart people like school?” Sophie asked. “Like you and me. And Jack.” The last part was said in a tone that wasn’t completely convincing.

Jack didn’t seem to notice.

Rufus came trotting in, wagging his tail. Jack slid from his stool and knelt to give the dog scratches and pets.

“Jack, do you want to learn how to give Rufus his breakfast?” Abby asked.

“Sure, I’d love to.”

“Come on, I’ll show you how much.” Abby gestured for him to follow her down the hall to the laundry room, where she’d put a plastic container of his kibble the day before. “You just use the scooper in here.” She held it aloft to show Jack. “And give him one scoop. Be sure to push the top down on the container, though, or he’ll help himself to all of it, which will make him sick.”

“I promise.” Jack got up on the footstool that Ramona had kept under the utility sink and dutifully used the scoop to measure the right amount.

Rufus, wagging his tail as if he hadn’t eaten in days, lunged for his bowl and began gobbling it all up.

“He was hungry,” Jack said, sounding satisfied.

“After he’s done, I want you to put your jacket on and take him out for a potty break.”

Jack beamed with obvious pride at being asked. “Sure.”

“Let him run around a bit—he likes to choose the exact right spot.” She tugged a plastic bag for Rufus’s offerings and handed it to Jack. “Do you know how to scoop poop?”

Jack shook his head.

“Okay, what you do is you turn the bag inside out and then put your hand inside, so you’re protected from any mess.” She demonstrated, then showed him how to tie the bag so nothing escaped. “See how I did that?”

He nodded, but she had him practice just in case. When she was satisfied he would not come back with anything nasty on his hand or any other body part, she sent him off to the mudroom.

Sophie was still in the kitchen, her nose back in her book.

“There’s something else I wanted to talk to you about.” She told Sophie about the house repairs and to expect to see the Hayes brothers and Walter visiting often. “They’re going to do some remodeling for us and make sure this old place is in tip-top shape for the upcoming winter.”

“Will they be in my room?” Sophie asked.

“I’m not sure. Why do you ask?”

“Because my mom decorated it for me, and I don’t want it changed.” Sophie ducked her chin, avoiding Abby’s gaze.

“Then I’ll tell them to leave it be.” Abby’s chest ached, thinking of Ramona lovingly putting together her daughter’s room.

“Are you sure?” Sophie looked up at her from under her lashes.

“I’m sure. If you like it as is, then that’s how it’ll be.”

Sophie breathed out, her slender shoulders rising and falling in obvious relief.

Abby went on to say, “They’re going to help repair our roof and some rotting boards. That kind of thing. But there will be a few changes. They’re going to give us a new kitchen, but not until after Christmas.”

“What’s wrong with the way it is now?” Sophie asked.

“It needs some updates. New countertops and cabinets. Kind of like what they did to Grace’s kitchen. Do you remember what it looked like before compared to now?” Abby set aside her empty mug and reached for the box of cereal to pour herself a bowl.

“Yeah, I remember. It’s way better now,” Sophie said. “That’s what they’re going to do in here?”

“Correct,” Abby said. “We’ll get to pick out cabinets and countertops. If you want, you can help me.”

“Okay, sure. I’d like that.”

Sophie didn’t ask any further questions, but Abby could see her working things out in her mind, perhaps reconciling all the changes. Ones she and Jack hadn’t asked for and didn’t want.

“Does it feel like everything’s changing?” Abby asked softly.

“Everything is changing.” Sophie got up from the island to rinse her bowl and put it in the dishwasher.

Abby followed her to the sink and took Sophie’s hands in hers. “Not everything. But I do understand. A lot’s different for me, too.”

“Yeah, I know. You gave up your dream job.”

“Where did you hear that?” Abby asked, aghast.

“I heard Grace telling Luke. Does it make you mad that you had to come here?”

Abby took in a deep breath, choosing her words carefully. It was important she be truthful with the girl but also kind. “I’m not mad. I could never be mad at you guys or your mom for asking me to care for you and Jack. That said, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit how scary it is and how out of place I feel here. I’m doing my best, but I’m going to make a lot of mistakes.”

“Mom says as long as we do our best, then she’s proud of us.”

“I couldn’t agree more. And, please, remember, we’re in it together. Whatever you need, I’ll be here. Please, keep talking to me, okay? You can tell me anything. Or ask anything.”

Sophie’s expression told her there was one thing she wanted—to have her mother back. That, sadly, Abby couldn’t give her, even though she wished for it as fervently as Sophie.

“I have ballet class on Saturdays at one,” Sophie said. “Did you know that?”

“I did not. Did your mom keep a calendar anywhere? With your activities listed?”

“No. She just knew them.”

Of course, she did. And Abby most certainly did not. “Right. Okay. How about you tell me everything you remember about your schedule, and I’ll write it all down? When we’re in town today, we can pop into the drugstore or wherever and get a calendar, and we’ll write everything in there and hang it here in the kitchen. That way, I know what to expect.”

“Sure.” Sophie’s brow wrinkled, and she muttered under her breath as if surprised, “That’s a really good idea.”

Ah, a win at last.

“Thank you. I wasn’t the smartest in my classes at school, but I made up for it by being very organized. I write everything down on a calendar, and every morning, I take a look to make sure I remember what I’m supposed to do that day.”

For the next ten minutes, Sophie walked Abby through each day of the week. Sundays church started at eleven. Monday through Friday, they had to be at the bus stop at five after eight, and it brought them home at a quarter after three.

“Did Grace meet you at the bus stop?”

“Yes. Except Fridays. Mom didn’t work that day.”

Abby wrote everything down and made a mental note to put it all in her digital calendar later.

Jack came bouncing in with Rufus behind him but without a bag in his hand. Abby was almost afraid to ask the whereabouts of the bag, but Jack told her he’d tied it and put the whole thing in the garbage in the garage.

“Well done.” She lifted her hand to high-five him.

Rufus sat on his haunches, looking pleased with himself.

“We have to be in town for my interview at eleven,” Abby said. “Can you guys be ready by then? I thought we could stop by and see Santa on the way home.” Grace had told her that Santa would be at the country store for the holidays.

Both young faces lit up at the idea.

“Do you know what you’re going to ask Santa for?” Abby poured a small amount of bran flakes into a bowl, suddenly ravenous.

“Not yet,” Sophie said.

“I want a bike. So, I don’t have to ride Sophie’s old bike. It’s purple and has flowers on the basket.” Jack shuddered. “So embarrassing.”

A bike. She could buy a bike. Maybe there was even a place in town?

She took a good look at the children. They, like her, were still in their jammies. It was nearing nine, so they would need to go upstairs and get ready. “Okay, let’s get ourselves together. Sophie, gather up what you need for ballet. Jack, I want you to wash your hands and face, comb your hair, and get dressed in something warm. I’m going to shower and put myself together. Be ready to go at half past ten, okay?”

They nodded and trotted up the stairs with Rufus on their heels. They really were such good children. Obedient and kind. Obviously intelligent. Ramona had done such a good job with them. Now, it was up to her not to mess it up.

She went upstairs to get ready for her interview, praying that it went well and she would soon be gainfully employed.

Over the phone, Doc Ford had sounded casual and friendly. Nevertheless, Abby dressed in black slacks and a turtleneck sweater paired with a suit jacket for the interview, wanting to appear professional. She pulled her hair into a low ponytail and plucked her lucky earrings out of the jewelry box—dangling dragonflies that her mother had given her the last Christmas before she died. Abby wore them to every special occasion.

After a careful application of makeup, Abby deemed herself ready. She’d already emailed her résumé to Doc Ford’s office. One last look in the mirror assured her that she looked as good as she could, and she went downstairs to collect the kids.

They were waiting for her in the kitchen when she came down. Jack had done a good job. His hair was neatly combed, and all traces of dried milk above his upper lip had vanished. Abby, wearing sweats and a leotard, held a plastic bag full of bobby pins. “I need you to put my hair in a high bun, please.”

“Okay, well, I’ll do my best.”

Abby had Sophie sit on one of the stools. She frowned, trying to force the silky, slippery strands into a bun. But Sophie’s hair was stubborn, sliding free each time Abby thought she’d finally done it. On the third attempt, she managed to get it into the right shape and stuck several pins into the mass of blond hair.

“Hold still for just one more second.” Abby pursed her lips and reached for another bobby pin. “There.” She stepped away to get a better look. “Oh dear.” The bun was tilted to the left side instead of in the middle of the child’s scalp.

“What’s wrong?” Sophie looked up at her.

“It’s a little lopsided,” Abby said.

“My teacher won’t like it. She insists on perfect buns.” Sophie spoke quietly, clearly disappointed.

“I’m sorry. I’ll talk to her and let her know I’m a novice.”

“Novice?”

“Someone new to a task,” Abby said.

“You’re a novice at a lot of things.”

Abby flinched. It was true. “I know. Give me a little time. I’ll figure it out.”

“Sure. Right,” Sophie said, sounding more than a little passive-aggressive.

A knock on the mudroom door drew Abby’s attention before she could think of a reply. Jack hurried to open the door. Luke stood there, his hair damp and slightly disheveled. He wore his classic thick flannel jacket and jeans paired with his scuffed work boots. How could anyone wear anything so simple and make it look that good?

“Luke, what brings you by?” Darn her heart, leaping at the sight of him.

“Mom told me you have an interview. The roads are super icy, so I thought I better take you into town in my dad’s SUV.”

“It’s nice of you, but I’ll be fine.” Abby couldn’t just have him showing up all the time, acting out the part of a boyfriend. After her talk with Sophie about all the change, her unease about her date with Luke had her near panic. She had to talk to him. Set him straight about what she could and could not do. But not now.

Now, she needed to get to her interview with her mind focused only on getting the job. The stakes felt higher than they ever had in her life. Even as ambitious as she’d been since losing her mother, this felt like a new and dangerous game—one she could not afford to lose.

“Please, let me do this,” Luke said. “Otherwise, I’ll be in trouble with my mother.”

“Yes, fine.”

“You’ll have to think about getting a new vehicle at some point. One made for Vermont instead of California.”

In truthfulness, she didn’t want to drive there by herself if the roads were icy. Plus, he was correct in his assessment of her vehicle. She’d been afraid to get stuck in the muddy parking lot at the tree farm yesterday. How she was going to pay for a new, Vermont-ready car, she could not say. Like everything else, she had to put her faith in God.

“You look very nice,” Luke said. “Very professional.”

“Not too much like a high-tech wannabe?”

Luke laughed. “You’re prettier than any of the ones I’ve seen.”

She couldn’t help but smile back at him, her stomach full of winged creatures.

“Where’s Lily?” Jack asked Luke.

“She’s waiting in the car,” Luke said.

“We’re going to see Santa after my sister’s dance class, and she should come with us,” Jack said.

“Santa, huh?” Luke caught her eye. “Is it okay if we tag along?”

“Yeah, sure. Fine with me.” As must as she wished she didn’t feel this way, she desperately wanted him there. She didn’t know how to visit Santa. Was she supposed to take a photo? Or buy one?

So much for pushing Luke away.

Luke gestured toward the door. “Off we go.”