14. Luke

14

LUKE

T he first week of December passed in a flurry of activity. Luke and his dad had spent every morning over at Abby’s house, working through their repair list. By the end of the week, they’d repaired and painted the porch, patched the roof, and presented ideas to Abby for the kitchen remodel. With his help, she’d chosen the types of cabinets, countertops, and backsplash she wanted. He’d hoped she would go with him to the home improvement store to put the order in, but Doc Ford had kept her busy from the moment she’d started working with him.

On the other hand, he’d had plenty of excuses to see her and spend time with her while they pored over the design ideas. He’d kept his traitorous thoughts to himself, even though he couldn’t stop thinking about their kiss and wishing he could steal another from her. Regardless, he’d promised to keep their relationship in the friend zone, and he wasn’t about to go back on his word even if his heart disagreed.

From his viewpoint, she was doing remarkably well with the children. She was clearly an organized, disciplined person. The more he got to know her, the more he understood how remarkable she was. Sophie and Jack were clearly thriving under the routine she appeared to carefully protect.

Luke could see, from observing them all closely, that Abby worried about Sophie. He understood why. The little girl had always been quiet, but since losing her mother, she talked even less. Dark circles under her eyes and her wan, pale face hinted at the suffering she stoically kept hidden from the outside world.

On Friday before the annual Christmas tree lighting in town, he had just finished up fixing a leak in the upstairs toilet when he heard Abby calling out to him from the first floor. He came out to the hallway and leaned over the banister to answer her. “Up here. Fixing the toilet.”

“I’ll be right up,” Abby shouted back.

Was that excitement in her voice?

By the time he heard her footsteps bounding up the stairs, he had put away his tools and washed his hands. He was drying them when she appeared in the doorway of the bathroom.

Abby placed her hands on her hips. “Luke Hayes, you’re something else. How did you know my toilet was leaking? You’re a genius.”

He flushed with pleasure at her compliment. “I noticed the other day. It’s no big deal. All fixed now.”

She lifted her hands as if helpless. “I really don’t know what I’m going to do with you.”

He could think of something.

“I’m worried you’re spending too much time helping me,” Abby said. “What about your farm? Please tell me you’re not sacrificing anything for me.”

I’d do anything for you.

It was true. There was no denying his growing feelings. Whatever she asked, he would do.

“It’s our slow season,” Luke said. “Plus, Dad and I love working together on stuff like this. It’s how we bond. So, really, we should be thanking you.” He cocked his head to the right, noticing how well she looked, her dewy skin flushed from the cold and her eyes sparkling. She had her hair down today, cascading around her shoulders in silky waves.

“I suspect you’re just saying that to assuage my guilt. But regardless, I’m grateful beyond grateful. In fact, I’m feeling so good, after surviving my first week of work and managing the kids without too many hiccups, that I’d like to take you and Lily out for pizza tomorrow night. And Sophie and Jack, obviously. I’ve been smelling the wood-fired pizzas all week from that place on Moose Avenue next to the bike shop. I looked at the menu, and it looks fantastic.”

“We’re in.” His heart leaped with joy at the thought of spending a Saturday evening with Abby and the kids.

“I thought we might pop into the bike shop and see if Jack gravitated toward any bike in particular.”

“Fantastic idea.” He suddenly remembered the skating rink opened tomorrow. “The temporary ice rink opens tomorrow. We could take the kids skating after dinner.”

“That’s a fantastic idea.”

“And I promise not to tease you when you fall on the ice,” Luke said.

“We’ll see about that.” She grinned and flushed the prettiest shade of pink he’d ever seen.

They stood in the hallway for a moment, looking at each other. Overwhelmed with the desire to pull her into his arms, he could think of nothing to say.

“Um. Okay. Well.” She touched her fingers to her bottom lip. The expression in her eyes was one he’d not seen before. Desire? Hunger? Longing?

For him? Please let it be for him.

“Should I go?” Luke asked. “You probably have things to do.”

“Yeah, I should change and go get the kids.”

But neither of them moved. They simply stared at each other until finally she broke the silence.

“I don’t know what’s going on here, but I can’t stop thinking about you,” Abby said. “Even as busy as I’ve been.”

He realized he’d been holding his breath. “I can’t stop thinking about you either.”

“It’s terrible timing.”

“Yes.”

“I’ve wanted to meet someone and fall in love. You know, for years, I hoped to find the right person, but he never appeared. Not even close. And now here you are. Just right here. When I least expected it. I have no time or headspace to nurture whatever this is with someone as wonderful as you. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt the kids. God, they’ve already been through so much, and the last thing they need is for me to introduce a boyfriend into the mix.”

“I know.”

“Yet, on the other hand, they know you. They’ve known you all their lives. Which maybe makes it worse if things were to end in disaster. It would be another loss for them.”

She was right. Everything she said was right. Why, then, did he want to argue with every point and convince her to give this a chance? He drew in a deep breath. Patience. He must proceed with thoughtfulness, not impulsiveness. “I’m not going anywhere. We have time to explore whatever this is without having to share it with anyone, including the kids. We can do fun things with the kids and all that but keep a little something for ourselves too. Don’t you think we deserve to be happy too?”

“I do. I definitely do. It’s just that I’ve never had to worry about anyone but myself. Since my mom died, it’s just been me on my own. I don’t know how to be part of a family or a couple. I’m way out of my depth here, and I’m scared. Terrified. At the same time, I want nothing more than to spend time with you. I do. I want you around every minute. And I have no idea what to do about it.”

“I get it. My divorce took so much out of me. I didn’t think I’d ever be open to anyone again. I really didn’t. I’ve told myself that Lily was enough. And my family. We’re all so tight. And I love my work, where I live—all of it. The minute you appeared, everything changed. I couldn’t even remember why I’d promised myself that being alone was the best idea for Lily.”

“I don’t know what’s best for any of the kids,” Abby said. “But I know I want to see you. Like all the time.”

He smiled and reached for her. “We can go as slow as you need to, but at least let me take you out alone. Sneak a kiss or two when no one’s looking and see where it goes from there.”

“When you say it like that, it sounds totally reasonable.”

“I want to kiss you right now. In the worst way,” Luke said.

Abby moved closer to him, inch by inch until he could smell the sweet scent of her perfume. “I’d like that.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and tilted her face upward.

He kissed her, and it was as sweet as he’d remembered.

Luke had spent the day delivering Christmas trees, all the time counting the minutes until he could see Abby. Finally, it was time to gather up Lily and head over to pick up Abby and the kids for their pizza and skating outing. He didn’t even have to turn off the car before they all came running down the newly constructed steps toward them.

He got out and went around to open the door for Abby and the children. “Hello, hello. Are you guys ready to get some pizza?”

Three cheers from those younger than thirty. A quiet smile from Abby before she slipped into the passenger seat of his dad’s SUV. If they kept going like this, he was going to have to purchase one of his own.

Soon, they were off, driving toward town. He turned on some Christmas music, and the kids chattered and sang together in the back. With them occupied, he told Abby about the trees he’d delivered that day to three elderly households. He described how he’d set them up and how good it felt to help. “I even strung the lights for them, which took longer than expected.”

“You’re a saint. Lights are no joke, as demonstrated when you did mine.”

“There were a few unspoken curse words on my part,” he said, laughing. “I started worrying I was going to be late and disappoint you.”

“You couldn’t disappoint me, especially if I knew how you’d spent your day. I admire your generosity.”

Luke shrugged a shoulder as if it were no big thing when in fact, knowing that she thought well of him warmed him from head to toe. “I like playing the hero, I guess. I’m certain I get more out of it than any of the folks I deliver to.”

They were quiet after that, listening to the Christmas tunes as they drew nearer to town. He parked in the back of Sugarville Slice and helped everyone from the car.

The cold air nipped at his cheeks. Temperatures dropped fast after sunset this time of year. He hustled them all into the pizza place, following behind like a protective daddy goose. A rich, smoky aroma engulfed him the minute they stepped inside, the woodsmoke from the pizza oven mingling with the scent of freshly baked dough, Italian herbs, garlic, and tangy tomato sauce.

“This is wonderful,” Abby said. “So open and inviting.”

It was true. The owner had gone with a minimalist design, with light wood, polished floors, and simple booths and tables. High ceilings with exposed wooden beams added a rustic touch. An open kitchen with a large wood-fired oven allowed guests to watch their pizzas being cooked. Tonight, the counter was nearly full, as were the booths and tables.

There were no Christmas decorations hanging in the restaurant. Luke wasn’t sure why, but he’d noticed it the year before as well. Gossip about the owner, Charlie Kane, had been flowing since she moved to town. Kris had said she was a retired tech billionaire who had moved to Vermont for a quiet life. Luke didn’t know if any of it was true. Charlie kept to herself, sharing little about her past with anyone, not even her employees.

A young hostess hurried over and asked if they could wait a few minutes for her to clear and clean a booth for them. They happily agreed, and the five of them hung out near the door, discarding jackets, scarves, and hats while they waited. Abby had picked up a menu and was chuckling over the funny names of the pizzas. Charlie had leaned heavily into the Vermont theme, including the Lumberjack, the Maple Mountain, the Green Mountain Goat, and so forth.

Soon, they were seated in a comfortable booth. All three children had climbed into one side of the table, leaving Luke and Abby no choice but to sit next to each other. Not that he minded being close enough to smell her sweet perfume—a flowery scent mixed with a hint of vanilla. He hoped he smelled as good to her as she did to him.

The children all agreed they wanted a plain cheese pizza, aptly named the Sugarville Classic. When he was alone, Luke almost always ordered the Maple Islander, which had Canadian bacon and pineapple, with a drizzle of his family’s maple syrup for additional sweetness. However, he didn’t mention it because no one in his family liked it, and he figured Abby wouldn’t either.

Oddly enough, she pointed to the Maple Islander on the menu. “I don’t suppose I could talk you into this one?”

“No way. That’s my favorite,” Luke said.

“Really?” They locked gazes for a moment, grinning like a couple of kids.

“Daddy loves that one,” Lily said, very serious. “My uncles laugh. I don’t know why.”

“Well, it’s a good thing they’re not here tonight.” Abby reached across the table to tug on one of Lily’s curls.

His heart twisted when his little girl smiled over at Abby as though she were the best person she’d ever met. Was it possible his daughter was falling for Abby as hard as he was?

Sitting here, like a family, felt so right to him. Had he actually been searching without even realizing he was missing something? Was it possible that God had brought him the perfect person?

And if so, how could he feel happy about it when Sophie and Jack had lost their mother?

This was the thing about life. Tragedy and good fortune seemed random. It was too simple to say that life was one thing or the other. Instead, joy and sadness coexisted. It was our ability to adapt to change, he supposed, that separated those who lived joyful lives and those who lived embittered ones. He’d resisted accepting his failed marriage and, therefore, being open to something new and beautiful. His shame and bitterness had consumed him, leaving little room for seeing all the blessings in his life. So much abundance. His brothers and parents. The satisfaction he found in running his family’s farm. And of course, his precious Lily. Without his failed marriage, he would not have her. Had he suffered from great guilt, knowing she would be raised without a mother? Yes. But on the other hand, his mother had given up what should have been days filled with ease and the pursuit of her own interests to care for Lily. Now, this amazing woman and her overly exuberant dog had come into his and Lily’s life and opened his heart to the possibility of love.

If that wasn’t a Christmas miracle, he didn’t know what was.

They ordered their pizzas, along with mugs of root beer for the kids and local IPAs for Abby and Luke. While they sipped their drinks and waited for the delicious hot pies to come out of the oven, Jack and Lily colored pictures with crayons the server had brought to the table. Sophie, unusually animated, told them about the A she’d gotten on an essay about what she was thankful for this Thanksgiving. “I got the paper back today, and my teacher, Mrs. McClintock, said it was the best one any of her students had ever done.”

“All that reading you do must be making you a great writer,” Abby said, sounding proud. “Well done.”

“I’m good at school. Like you.” Sophie leaned over her drink, using a straw to take a sip of her root beer.

“I loved school, and yes, I was very good at it. Sometimes, I thought it might be the only thing I would ever be good at.”

“Why?” Sophie asked.

“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t have a lot of friends because I was always so serious about everything. Other kids thought I was weird.”

“Did you care?” Sophie asked.

Abby laughed, shaking her head. “Not really, no. I’ve always been indifferent to others’ opinions of me.” She sobered. “But you know, your mom never made fun of me or made me feel bad for being so serious about school. She understood that I wanted to make something of myself.” Tears glistened in her eyes. “She was a really good friend to me. The best one I ever had. I wish I’d had more time with her.”

“Me too.” Sophie’s gaze drifted downward as if the contents of her mug were suddenly interesting. Several tears wandered down her cheeks. “I miss her so much.”

Luke held his breath, unsure what to say or do.

Abby reached across the table and brushed away the child’s tears. “I know, baby. I know. I felt the same way when I lost my mom.”

“Will I ever not have this bad feeling in my stomach?” Sophie asked. “Did it ever go away for you?”

“Yes, it does. You’ll always miss her, but it won’t feel this terrible forever. Day by day, you’ll heal a little more until, finally, you’ll be able to smile when you think of her instead of cry. You’ll remember all the wonderful moments you had with her and the funny things she said or did. Our memories never fade. Not the important ones, anyway. But our heartaches lessen, especially when the person you mourn was so special and lived her life with so much love and passion. Her time here was short, but she gave her whole heart to everything she did. It may not feel like it some days when we miss her so much, but we were so lucky to be loved by her and to love her in return. It’s our greatest gift during our time on earth. To love and be loved. And without love, we would not have loss. They go hand in hand, and we must be grateful for the time we do have with those we love. Even though it hurts so much to lose them.”

Tears made Luke’s vision blurry. The smaller children had looked up from their coloring to stare at Abby.

“Mommy’s in heaven,” Jack said. “She visits me in my dreams sometimes. Last night she said her and Daddy are eating a lot of ice cream there.”

All gazes turned toward Jack.

The lump in Luke’s throat made it impossible to swallow.

“She said we shouldn’t be sad because she’s watching over us,” Jack said matter-of-factly before returning to his coloring.

“Ramona always loved ice cream,” Abby said softly, dabbing at her damp cheeks with her napkin. “She used to order peppermint, and I got strawberry. We’d walk to the gazebo and eat it, sitting on the steps, watching all the people walk by. She’d make up stories about anyone she didn’t know and make me laugh. Looking back, those were some of the best moments of my life.”

“What else would you do?” Sophie asked.

The pizzas arrived then, interrupting their discussion, but after they each had a slice or two on their plates, Abby told them more stories about some of the times Abby and Ramona had spent together as children. She told them about their unsuccessful attempt to sleep alone in a tent in the backyard, only to be scared by the hoot of an owl, sending them running back inside to their beds. There was the summer they set up a rescue center for injured birds and bugs. “That one was my idea. I’m sorry to say, no bugs were rescued, and there were no injured birds anywhere.”

One time, Ramona had convinced Abby to ride their bikes down a steep hill, and they’d ended up tumbling into a pile of hay bales. “Ramona sprained her wrist, and my forehead was all scraped up. Your grandmother was furious with both of us. Then there was the time we decided to make homemade cookies to sell at a lemonade stand. Sadly, we used salt instead of sugar. I never was much of a cook.”

The children giggled throughout the stories. Luke’s heart swelled with every word out of Abby’s mouth. The more she shared, the more he realized something startling. He was falling in love with Abby Parker.

“When we were sixteen, I came for the entire summer. Which was mostly spent in the tree house waiting for Hayes brothers ‘spottings’. We had snacks and sodas and would just hang out all afternoon, hoping to see one or more of them working around their farm.”

“Why?” Sophie asked.

Abby cocked her head to the right, clearly enjoying herself. “We had crushes on all four of them, even though Luke and Max were already in college. We thought of them as so grown up—college boys and all.”

“Which brother did you like the best?” Sophie asked.

Abby glanced over at Luke, her eyes twinkling. “This one right here always had my heart. Even though he didn’t know I was alive.”

“I knew you were alive, but I thought of myself as way too old and sophisticated for you,” Luke said, laughing. “Which was true back then. I was twenty when you were sixteen.”

“Do you still think I’m too young for you?” Abby asked, grinning.

“When you get to be our age, there’s not so much difference between thirty-six and you’re thirty-two.”

“Thank goodness.” Abby smiled shyly. “I’d hate to be crushed all over again.”

The children had gone silent, all three staring at them.

Luke flushed, embarrassed. They must seem like a couple of fools.

“I want to carry the flowers and wear a fancy dress. A fluffy one.” Lily reached for her second slice of pizza.

“Where are you going?” Luke asked, happy for the strange segue, even if he had no earthly idea as to what exactly she was trying to say.

“The wedding.” Lily took a big bite out of the tip of her piece and looked at him with innocent eyes.

“She means when you two get married,” Sophie said.

Luke felt Abby stiffen beside him.

His gaze settled on Sophie. Her expression had turned stoic and unreadable. If they’d hurt her by flirting in front of the kids, he’d be extremely unhappy with himself. He’d gotten caught up in the moment, forgetting how much was at stake for the three little people across the table.

But to his surprise, Sophie smiled, timidly at first, as if she were playing with the idea. Then, she grinned and clasped her hands together on the tabletop. “We’d be a real family, with a mom and a dad, like most of my friends.”

Luke patted his mouth with his napkin. Married. Real family.

A jump, to say the least.

But heck, hadn’t he been thinking the same thing way back in the recesses of his mind?