7. Monica

7

MONICA

S o, the hunky Mr. Crawford was at last willing to be level with me. By stripping off…

I couldn't conceive what in the world he had in mind. It was not as if I hadn't seen him naked before or that I hadn't liked it. Very much in fact. He was a tall, well-built man, who had spent a lot of time working out. Many men his age didn't have a clue how important exercise is. He did, and he had poured tons of sweat into sculpting his body like that. But I think I would have noticed anything that would explain my questions.

My heart was running wild in my chest, and I couldn't keep myself from staring at his nakedness. At least this time, there wasn't a single drop of blood on him. All his bruises, cuts, and scratches had healed, not leaving so much as a scar to mark where they had been. I swallowed hard as Raul set his boots down by my feet.

A rapid, gunfire-like sound initiated a spectacle beyond my craziest dreams. Or nightmares. Yes, nightmares, not dreams. In front of my eyes, the human being disappeared. His bones cracking loudly as his body contorted and twisted tortured my ears. His legs shortened and his arms twisted, thinning, and changing. In moments the two legs and two arms had been given place to four, shorter, leaner legs. As they did his entire figure shortened. His handsome face, the face my friends and I had marveled at, lengthened and turned into a muzzle. Light-green eyes were replaced by a shade I'd seen before. Those eyes. I knew them and their bright, reflective yellow.

Long, dark-brown fur spread over his massive back. A big patch of white graced his chest. A tail waved behind him as our gazes found each other and I was staring into those cold, calculating, animal, yellow eyes. I was too scared to move, standing stock-still as images from Sunday night flashed through my head. This wasn't our first encounter… and now I know what he, it, whatever, is capable of.

"Oh, my God…" Came out of me unbidden, a whisper of utter disbelief. "It was you ! You stopped Jack from hurting me." A soft bark, high in pitch, is it… happy? A happy sound? How do I tell? "This is…" I shook my head sideways, closing my eyes for a moment, and then let them travel across his body. "God, I can't find the words."

He padded forward and his forehead nudged my chest, then he stepped back and sat on his haunches. Haunches. Oh god. He continued to stare at me in silence for a long moment while I tried to process what was happening.

Then the same, gunfire-like noise of bones cracking and twisting in unnatural ways echoed through the forest. He was reverting to his human form. I guess he didn't wish to flaunt the strangeness of his animal form anymore.

Assuming his human form, costume? Disguise? Which was real? Which was him? He was close. Raul towered over me. Incongruous as it might be one thing stuck out in the swirling confusion that filled my head. He and his wolf shared a trait. The look in his eyes and the wolf's. They both had the same sorrow in them. A deep hurt that he hasn't shared with anyone.

"Now you know," he said, his voice was tender with what I could only think of as a note of pleading. "For the record, I'd brought you some flowers to thank you for what you did for me, but…"

"Yeah, flowers," I laughed, recalling the mangled lily stems on the sidewalk.

I shook my head, still struggling to wrap my mind around it all. Despite the swirling mix of disbelief and confusion, the rational, clinical part of my brain exerted itself. Just like handling any emergency, compartmentalizing, and focusing. He shrugged and he looked sheepish.

"What you did was very… noble," I said, raising my hands and dropping them. "I don't mean the flowers, well, not only the flowers. I have to say though, I was baffled to see… a wol—no, you , in my living room. And it was even more of a shock when you broke his arm."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sca—" I raised my hand and cut him off before he could finish.

"But I get it. I think I know why you did it. You were trying to protect me, weren't you?"

He frowned deeply then broke eye contact and looked down at the ground. He moved his hands to cover himself as if only then remembering that he was very, very naked.

"Yes," he confirmed with a nod, bending down to pick up his pants.

One more question burned in my head, and I couldn't not ask it. I had to know.

"I don't mean to complain, but, uh…" I faltered, suddenly feeling shy and uncertain. "Why did you stop? You know, earlier?"

"Because you're human," He said with a harsh bluntness to the tone of his voice. "There are rules regarding our relationships with humans."

"Our?" I asked. "So, there are more… like you?"

He frowned again and his eyes flashed with something predatorial. He moved past my question as if he didn't hear it.

"We can do business with them, we can have human friends, but that's about it. The people of Dawson have been guarding this secret for centuries, Monica. Can you imagine what would happen if the government knew about it?"

It was clear that there was a whole lot here I didn't understand. More questions rushed in than I could even begin to comprehend, but only one of them made it to the forefront and from there onto my tongue.

"So… what happens if you decide to date a human?" I asked, my voice faster and higher than usual.

"It's a death penalty." His answer sent more shockwaves down my spine. "For both of us."

The pronouncement hung heavy in the air between us like a stone thrown into a still pond, ripples of all the implications echoing out from its point of impact. Death. For both? Why? How would that make any sense? What was going on here? And, maybe most importantly, why was I leaning into this so much?

"That's harsh," I said, throat tight as my heart raced.

"Look, I don't give a rat's ass about the rules. I've been a rule breaker most of my life," he said, his eyes burning. The way they reflected the light, that must have been what it was, because eyes can't burn, but there was a fire in his. A fire that ignited something in me. Hormones flooded my brain, making me stupid. Logically I knew that's what was happening, but desire leaves no room for logic. He continued, his voice deep, rough, and husky. And God above did I want to him to say my name in that voice. "But I don't want you to die because I can't keep my hands off of you. And let me be clear, don't imagine a quick death. We don't use guns."

"I understand," I said in a lowered tone as tingles of fear coursed through my body.

I didn't. I didn't understand any of this and I sure as hell didn't understand why I was still there against all advice and logic. But I couldn't let it go. I couldn't walk away.

"Do yourself a favor and get out of here," he advised, straightening his coat. "We've got extremely sensitive noses, and there's going to be more shapeshifters in that hall other than my brothers. You don't want them to smell me on you."

"Okay," I accepted, feeling a little numb and a little crazy.

An idea sprung into my head. If I was to leave, I would take something back home with me, other than this incredible story. I didn't speak. I wouldn't speak of my desire, it was better for me to show it. A short step closed the distance between us. I curved my arms around his hips, stepping up on my toes. I caught a glimpse of his eyes, as our lips stroked together. A second brushing knocked down his defenses.

In a matter of seconds, I was back in that sweet prison. His forbidden prison. Perhaps that's what made this kiss even more fervent than our first. He was off limits. He represented the unreachable, the man I could not have. Easing me into his embrace, he held on tightly, his long fingers caressing my lower back. Getting tangled in the fabric of my dress, he offered me a generous dose of an unprecedented feeling.

Desire. Pure and unadulterated, in its wildest shape.

I had been kissed in the outdoors. In complete privacy, and with hundreds of people around me. None of those experiences had given me this mountain of desire, this almost overwhelming urge to pull up my dress and let him have his way with me. Vapors of our breaths rose from our mouths, I tasted him again and again as if trying to get a dose of medicine that without which I would die. His hands traveled up to my cheeks where he cupped them and rested his forehead on mine.

"You're not making this any easier," He protested with a whisper. "I must go. So should you."

"I'm sorry. I, uhm, I guess I got carried away there," I said, just shy of breathless. "Goodnight, Raul. Take care of yourself."

"You, too, doc."

A sense of disappointment flooded my insides. I turned away from him, unable to shake the feeling that this was the last time I would be intimate with him. It was amazing… For a few minutes, this creature, this shapeshifter had managed to destroy everything I had been telling my friends about my personal life.

I need time to pick up my pieces. I don't want to get involved with anyone for a while. Nonsense. Raul could have taken me away right then and done as he pleased with me. If his lovemaking was half as good as his kissing, I knew I'd wake up happy in the morning. Nevertheless, this noble man wouldn't do that. To him, my safety was more important than giving in to his desire. Our desire.

What a man.