28. Raul

28

RAUL

T he sound of the door closing echoed in my ears. I watched her go, torn between chasing after her and letting her have space. Indecision made my choice for me. By the time I forced myself into action and went to the door she was gone.

I sniffed the air, savoring her scent, and the wolf wanted to chase. Run her down, take her, prove to her that she was meant to be mine, forever. I am not the wolf, though, not wholly, and that would never work. Not with her. This is all new to her and she needs time to process. As hard as it was to admit.

This wasn't the way I thought any of this would go. I'd gone on my first mission as Alpha of the pack and I'd won. Destroyed an arch enemy who would have killed Nora had I not acted. I should have been celebrating my victory with the one person I wanted to more than any other. But she left. Angry.

I should be celebrating. Beating a vampire, much less, and cowing an entire group was a big deal. I should be drinking, carousing, getting laid. But who did I have to do any of that with?

A bunch of apes.

My pack, but what joy could I find in them without her? They would probably end up trashing Joe's bar, which God knows wouldn't be the first time. They were capable of doing that for lesser reasons. Knowing that a full-scale battle had been averted, they would drink their asses off and bust the place up. Sometime near midnight they would start by smashing bottles onto each other's heads, just to see who had the hardest skull. Then that would escalate until chairs were flying out the glass plate window. Afterwards, they would go home, leaving the bar looking like it had been through a hurricane.

I could go there. Get the hero's welcome I desired. Hell, the one I deserved. I didn't need this shit, the way she's acting. She should be grateful for all I've done for her. For us.

But I get it.

And that's the problem, isn't it? I wouldn't be so angry if there wasn't truth in her words. If she wasn't calling me out on my own bullshit. Stupid Alpha bravado like I was some kind of caveman. Or, more accurately, an alpha wolf asserting my dominance by doing whatever the hell I wanted whenever the hell I wanted. Like Brad.

A cold chill traced its way down my spine and out through my limbs. Like Brad. Fuck. I was an idiot. I took a step towards the door then stopped myself. No. My first thought was right. She needed space and time. Time to process.

Now what? Join my pack at the bar, get really drunk, and help trash the place? No, the one person I cared for more than anything in the world wouldn't be there. God only knew where she would be, but she wouldn't head to a bar, much less a bar in Dawson.

Uncertainties made it feel as if I was swimming in a stormy sea. What I needed was not the rowdiness of my pack, I needed solitude. Shouts and howls would do nothing to take my mind off Monica or my fight with her.

Stalking out the door with fierce intent I mounted my bike and rode without direction or aim. As the sun began to set I realized where I was heading. I hadn't planned it but when I arrived, it felt right. Night's embrace covered the woods and all of Lake Paxton. The place where she and I had been together the first time.

Parking my bike I walked towards the lake. The water reflected the light of the moon and stars, giving it a silvery sheen. The skies over the valley were clear, dotted with only some small, scarce clouds that posed no threat to the good weather. I almost wished that wasn't true because the parade of stars served as a bitter reminder of my date here with Monica. Gazing up at their flickering light, the weather was identical to that night.

Down on the surface of the lake, a plume of black smoke rose jerking my attention from the sky. My hackles on edge, I growled as I tried to ascertain who was interrupting my solitude. Inside the smoke was an instantly recognizable glowing figure. I growled, hands clenching into fists at the intrusion.

"I want to be alone, Helena," I said as the glow died from the reflection on the water. "Leave. I don't care what it is, not tonight."

Helena ignored my demand to be alone. She sauntered closer and closer until she came to a stop behind a large stone on my left. She focused on the rock, trailing her fingers over it as if there is some mystical design that would give her some deep insight.

"It's one of life's mysteries," she murmured, "why shifters cannot fall for more than one man or woman throughout their life."

"Is that why you're here?" I asked, tossing a sideways glance and taking a few steps further away. "So you can discuss one of life's mysteries with me? You chose the wrong shifter and the wrong fucking time."

"On the contrary," she disagreed. She bent down and picked up a pebble that she then threw. It landed with a soft plop and we both watched the ripples echoing from its point of impact. "You're exactly the shifter I need to discuss this with. You've found love, firstborn. Your siblings haven't, which means they won't understand what I'm talking about."

I growled, not wanting her to be right. Anger tried to override rationality but something in her calm and steady tone cut through the storming emotions and desire to prove myself right even though, deep down, I knew I was wrong.

"I don't deny it," I said, slower than usual. I bent and grabbed a pebble too. Pulling my arm back I tossed it out level with the lake and counted the number of times it skipped. Six. Not my best, but not bad. "I've found love, but that doesn't mean I know how to handle it, does it? So what if I have, if I screw it all up anyway."

"You'll figure out how to handle it," she said, kneeling and sorting through a selection of pebbles before deciding on one she liked. She stood and skipped hers. Seven. Damn it. My competitive nature surged.

"Nice," I said, grudgingly or not, it was true.

"What you have to learn, first born, is to listen," she suggested in a firm tone. "I saw Monica this afternoon and she told me about your argument."

"Great," I said, tossing my new stone. It only made five skips before sinking. I growled in frustration. "You're here to tell me what an asshole I am then?"

"Pretty much," the witch said with a chuckle. She continued talking while selecting her next flat rock. "I am with her. You're far too withholding, Raul. If you truly want this to work you have to be more open with her. Relationships are more than just good sex and motorcycle rides. They're much more complicated than you can imagine."

"Maybe," I shrugged my shoulders, unable to disagree with the truth no matter how much I wanted to. ""Or maybe Nora should have kept her mouth shut and let me handle things in my own time."

"Really, first born?" she said, her tone mocking. "Blame, from the almighty Alpha?"

The wolf surged but I suppressed the urge to dominate. She's right. I was the Alpha and if I was going to be better than Brad, now was the time.

"She told Monica my plans for the future and she hated them. Nora shouldn't have spoken up."

"Why? Because you mean well for Monica?" she said, shaking her head and tossing another pebble. Eight. Fuck. "I'll repeat myself, since you don't seem to get it yet. Relationships are more complicated than you can imagine."

"Isn't that the goal? What everyone is chasing after?" I asked, waves of confusion washing over and leaving me lost and angry. "Someone who'll treat them right, respect them and love them for the rest of their lives? What's the point of a prophecy, of knowing she's the one, if it doesn't really mean anything?"

"It's mostly true, Raul. Everyone is chasing love, in one way or another but every person is different," Helena said. "That's why I mentioned the mystery that surrounds shifters. Humans are not like you. They have baggage. Stories from their past haunt them. Sometimes it haunts them for years and years and until they're free of that burden, they're not ready to move on. Monica is one of those cases. She's carrying a failed marriage and she's not ready to move on. She's scared and won't move until she's absolutely convinced that you are the one for her."

I put all my attention on selecting my next rock. I turned it over in my hand. It was smooth and cool to the touch with a nice flat profile. Cocking my arm back I flung it towards the lake, flicking my wrist just before I let it fly.

The rock hit at the perfect angle and skipped nicely. It jumped again and again. I held my breath as I counted. Ten.

"Fuck yes," I mutter, turning to look at Helena. "I knew about her ex, obviously but, I didn't know anything about the baggage," I confessed.

She exhaled a long sigh and lowered her eyes. "I know."

I stared at her while she remained focused on the boulder between us. Her fingers traced along it once again and I had to wonder if there wasn't any significance to that. Was she drawing some magical rune or casting a spell?

"You know?" I prodded when she didn't continue after a few minutes.

"Yeah," she said, not looking up or stopping her fingers. "I discovered this truth about your kind the hard way."

She stopped talking again. I wanted to push her to finish the story, to tell her tale and leave me alone, but the smarter part of me won out and I waited. Letting her tell it in her own time. Her shoulders were slumped and there was a slackness to her face that I'd never seen before. The self-assured certainty that she normally projected was gone and for the first time I saw her as vulnerable.

"I was in love with your grandpa," she said at last.

"I know," I said.

She nodded, pursing her lips, then took a deep breath and held it.

"What you don't know is that he never loved me." Her fingers stopped but she continued to glare at the rock. Knowing how powerful she was I was a little surprised it didn't break into a thousand pieces. "About three years after our breakup, he met your grandma. For a while, I thought I should try to win him back. Take him away from her and lay my claim. But then I saw them in the market of Shandaken together and I realized it would be hopeless. He was so much warmer with her than he ever had been with me. He smiled at her, they held hands… they even kissed in public. And you have to realize that such displays were strongly frowned upon in the nineteen forties."

The sadness in her voice was echoed in every line of her body. She looked sunken, if we were in a fight I would have known I had her right where I wanted her, ready to give up. Her sadness echoed in my chest and I took a step closer.

"You must have had a lonely life," I said.

"No, not quite," she said, shaking her head and the hint of a smile forming on her face. "I got married twice. My first husband died in a plane crash. The second one fled when he discovered I was a witch. Humans are afraid of witchcraft, too. After my divorce, I decided not to get married again, but whenever I wanted some male company, I went out and found it."

I chuckled as she raised her head and met my eyes. She laughed too and the weight of the conversation lightened. I shook my head.

"Well, that's one way to do it," I said, which made her laugh more.

"It is," she agreed.

"But back to Monica," I said. "You're saying I should be more open and to slow down? Did I get you right?"

"Yes, you did," she answered with a reassuring nod. "Trust her. Don't expect her to wake up someday and tell you ‘I'm ready to be your mate.' There will be signs, though, and you're smart. I trust you'll see them."

She ended with a smile then bent and grabbed a rock. She looked it over carefully then threw it across the lake. I moved to her side as we both counted the skips. Nine.

"Hah!" I barked.

"You win, first born," she said. "You are the Alpha you were always meant to be."

"Thanks, Helena," I said, smiling down at her.

"You're welcome," she said. "I hope this is the last time you need my advice."

She turned and strode off towards the woods, probably preparing some spell to teleport herself to wherever she was going to go next.

I went back to my bike and started it up. The roar of the engine was music to my ears and the rumbling of it between my legs was like a homecoming. As I left Lake Paxton, I felt clearer. Helena had provided the help I had needed.

I had to admit that she was becoming more than a friendly figure. She had earned my trust, but this surpassed even the boundaries of trust. She was turning into a friend. An ally. Someone I could rely on. Not only for pack matters, but for everyday issues as well. It had taken her a long time to come into my life, but she had had her reasons for that. I had to respect them and thank fate for bringing her here when I needed her the most.