CHAPTER NINETEEN Blake

" I 'm talking to my parents about life and death rescues and that's all you heard?" I asked. "That I told Mom I think you're handsome? Seriously, Dirk. Can you see yourself in a mirror?"

He looked at me sheepishly, a pouty lower lip sticking out. "I guess it was nice to hear the words," he acknowledged. "I've been a bit low as of late because dates say I'm boring and a fuddy-duddy."

"What dates? No way," I assured. "You're a bit goofy and jock-ish, but that's what makes you sorta cute."

"So now I'm just cute?" he pestered, pressing his lower lip out even further. "What happened to devilishly and rakishly handsome?"

I laughed out loud, a first in a very long time. "No one said devilishly, and who the hell uses rakish in this century?"

Dirk grabbed his cell from the kitchen area counter. "I have proof," he offered, scrolling and then handing me the phone. "See? My buddy Matt says my last date thought I was a fuddy-duddy and too outdoorsy."

I perused the texts and then placed the phone on the table. "He's wrong," I declared, meeting his eyes.

"Thank you, sir. I am mighty obliged for the kind words and shit," he joked, tipping a fake hat toward me. He was the exact prescription that I needed for the blues in my life.

Dirk cleared the table and then sat back down. There was an uncomfortable silence because we had joked ourselves around the fact that I'd admitted I thought he was handsome. He was more than handsome. A blind man could see that. He was also masculine—a definite plus—and friendly, caring, and a whole host of other things that I hadn't noticed in a man in years. I liked him and I knew it.

"How have you managed to remain single, Cadet Dirk?" I inquired, curious how he'd escaped the clutches of Seattle's hungry for love gay culture. "I spilled my guts, so it's your turn now."

He leaned forward and rested his chin in his hand, gazing at me to the point of me being uncomfortable and finally looking away. "First things first," he began. "Why do you always look away when I stare at you?" I instantly blushed and denied doing it but he wouldn't drop the question. "Maybe you don't think you're handsome either?" he questioned. Of course, I looked away again. "You are, you know."

I looked back to him. "Truthfully, it has been a very long time since someone called me handsome. Even when I was in a relationship, I'm sorry to admit. Also the past couple of years wore me down," I confessed. "Throw in an ex that you weren't even sure was your ex, that up and dies on you, well, I guess looks sort of don't seem to matter anymore."

"I'm sorry, Blake," he whispered, reaching across the table for my hand. Once again I wanted to resist accepting the warm gesture, but Dirk was disarmingly kind and I knew he cared. The sense that he did flooded over me and, I had to admit, the feeling was long wanted. Dirk was a stranger and yet I felt good around him. Maybe that was why I held his hand and absorbed a strength from him that was ever-apparent.

I didn't acknowledge his sympathetic condolence because I feared a breakdown. My eyes had a habit of betraying me at a moment's notice the past year, and I didn't want to go there anymore. I don't want to go there anymore. I heard my thoughts as if I'd spoken them out loud. I truly don't want to go there anymore. The thought was a first for me because lately I'd been the king of not only going there but living there in sorrow full time.

"Do you have a deck of cards?" I asked.

Dirk licked his lips. "Sure do, but I'll warn you, I'm pretty good at strip poker," he joked.

"I bet you are," I said. "But I was thinking more along the lines of gin rummy."

"Your loss."

"Maybe not," I argued. "If we play strip poker we might get cold?" I added, motioning toward the bed. "The bed is a twin and we're a double so it'd be a tight fit, dontcha think?"

"Not if you stacked us two high," he quipped.

"Stop it."

Dirk winked and licked his lower lip. "Cards it is."

He jumped out of the chair and strode to a kitchen drawer as I admired his backside barely contained in his boxers. His manly ass stretched the thin fabric to its maximum, revealing the shape of two muscular globes. I swallowed hard. Perhaps we would fit in a twin.

I focused on something besides his perfect ass and glanced outside. It wouldn't be dark out for another two hours and the rain continued at downpour levels. Dirk had mentioned the temperatures had moved toward fifty degrees in the past few hours and the snow was melting rapidly. There'd be no reason to stay once the snow was gone. Suddenly I wasn't prepared for that eventuality. I wasn't ready to go home.