Chapter Twenty-Six

‘Ahhh!' I squeal, already sliding down the sandy slope towards Serena and Lil, who are running forward. We tumble to the ground together in a untidy heap, laughing and screaming, especially when Serena starts trying to push sand into Lil's mouth.

‘Ugggg, Serena! Get OFF!!!!' Lil wails, which is an extremely basic error as it only gives Serena more opportunity to cram sand in her.

Behind me, I can hear Theo laughing, the sound happy and soaring, and I pull myself up and out of the scrum, moving towards Mum, Petty and Ava, who wrap me in a much more dignified group hug.

‘Happy birthday, sweet Clementine,' Petty whispers in my ear.

‘Our girl,' Ava coos, kissing my cheek.

‘What are you all doing here?!' I exclaim.

‘Theo organized it,' Mum says, and then she's walking towards him, her arms stretched out in front of her, kissing him loudly on the cheek. ‘You lovely boy,' she says. ‘Our girls have been telling us all about you. I'm so happy to finally meet you in person.'

Theo's cheeks are pink and he looks utterly starstruck as Mum continues to grip him just above his elbows, beaming up at him. ‘Th-thank you, Ms Monroe,' he manages thickly. ‘It's nice to meet you too. I'm a big fan…'

Mum waves a hand, ‘Oh, don't you dare Ms Monroe me. It's Dee. And you haven't met Petty or Ava either, have you?' There are more greetings, and then I notice two other figures: Henry and Bee hovering at the side.

‘Hi, Henry!' I give him a little wave, which he returns.

‘Happy birthday, Clemmie,' he smiles shyly, tucking his hands in his pockets.

‘Thank you,' I say. ‘I can't believe you're all here.' I turn to the woman beside him. She's even more beautiful in real life. ‘You must be Bee?'

She nods. ‘It's nice to meet you properly.'

‘You mean not just as the disembodied voice echoing from Lil's bra?' I say, and Henry doesn't look at all fazed, only smiles bigger at the sound of my sister's name.

Bee laughs. ‘Yeah, you're much taller in real life.' I grin at her and she grins back. Then Serena appears beside her, rumpled and sandy but not as sandy as Lil, which I think means she won.

Serena's arm slips round Bee's waist, easily, as if it belongs there. Henry and Lil are holding hands. I can't believe how much things have changed in the last few months, and I try to ignore the pang of jealousy I feel.

‘So, what do you think?' Serena asks, gesturing around. I take it all in. A huge wooden gazebo strewn with patchwork bunting has been erected in the middle of the beach. There are giant, confetti-filled balloons tied to weights and bobbing on long ribbons, and under the gazebo is a fire pit and piles of pretty, brightly coloured picnic blankets and giant, squishy cushions. Off to one side an entire tiki bar has been built and stocked with drinks and there's a barbecue beside it, the coals already glowing orange.

‘It's incredible,' I say, dazed. ‘How did you pull this off?'

‘It was Mum and Theo,' Lil says. ‘They arranged it all.'

‘With a bit of help from David, of course.' Theo comes and stands beside me. ‘He says happy birthday, by the way. He sent you some flowers. They're inside.'

‘David did?' I ask, stunned.

‘I think he's warming to you,' Theo says. ‘I'm trying not to be jealous. He's never bought me flowers before.' He looks down at me. ‘So? Do you like it? Are you surprised?'

‘I'm so surprised,' I say honestly. ‘And I don't think I could like anything more.'

We just stand there, staring at each other for a moment. I don't know how long, but long enough for Lil to clear her throat, and for Serena to grumble, ‘Well, fuck. Lil was right for once.'

‘Right about what?' I ask.

‘Right about you and—'

‘Shall we get a drink,' Bee interrupts quickly, squeezing Serena's hand and tugging her away. My sister goes with her, but turns and glares at me over her shoulder. Then she lifts two fingers and points them at her eyes before pointing them at Theo in the universal symbol for I'm watching you.

‘I keep forgetting how scary your sister is,' Theo says.

‘So scary,' Henry whispers, and he and Theo exchange a look of solidarity.

The rest of the afternoon passes in a happy blur. Mum and Ava take charge of the barbecue, and Petty goes up to the house, pulling big bowls of bright salad, rice mixed with creamy green pistachios and slick pomegranate seeds, and platters of sweet, charred roast vegetables out of the fridge.

Theo lights the fire using way too much lighter fluid and nearly takes his eyebrows off.

‘Oh my God, Theo!' I gasp, pretty sure I am suffering cardiac arrest. ‘Imagine if I had to explain that to David. He'd have some Californian plastic surgeon flown in to perform emergency eyebrow transplants.'

‘Mr Eliott's eyebrows are worth a fortune, Clemmie, and you have failed them,' Theo says in a spot-on David impression.

‘It's no joke. You're not allowed anywhere near the barbecue,' I say firmly.

Theo only laughs and pulls me down to sit on one of the blankets.

‘How did you keep all of this a secret?' I ask.

‘Honestly, Petty and David did most of the hard work. I just had to keep you out the way. And then your family were held up in traffic, hence our impromptu coffee trip.'

‘Well, I love it,' I say happily, fishing a piece of strawberry out of my drink and popping it in my mouth, relishing the sweetness. ‘It's my second best birthday ever.'

‘Second best?'

‘When I was seven, I had a Power Rangers party, and the pink Power Ranger made a special appearance.'

‘Oh, well, no chance of competing with that.' Theo tugs me against him, his arm sliding around my waist. ‘If it had been the blue or red Power Ranger, then maybe…'

‘Exactly,' I say. ‘But I don't know. This is pretty close.'

‘Yeah?' His lips tug up.

‘Yeah.' The word comes out soft, an exhalation. His fingers tighten, brushing the thin strip of bare skin between the top of my shorts and the hem of my shirt, and I have to fight so very hard to resist the urge to press my face into the place where his neck meets his shoulder.

Whatever has been simmering between us for weeks seems, to me at least, as though it has been turned up to its boiling point. My whole body feels too tight, like I'm aching – not just for him to touch me (though definitely that, too) – but aching for something more, something that I definitely have no business wanting.

Only, the way Theo is looking down at me now makes me feel like maybe he wants it too. And that's the most confusing part of all.

‘Food's ready,' Ava yells, and the spell is broken. I turn away, Theo removes his arm, and I take a deep breath, steadying myself. A few more days, I chant in my brain. Just a few more days.

As everyone scrambles to fill up their plates, arguing over who gets first choice over what's on the barbecue (somehow Lil, despite the fact it's my birthday), I let it sink in that my family are here at Granny Mac's together. The hum of their voices, the familiar warmth of their laughter, even the sound of Lil and Serena squabbling, it feels right that it's happening here. I glance up at the house, and it's as though any remaining demons have been banished. I feel nothing but pure goodness about being here, tinged with a sweet sadness at the thought of leaving. And that seems like the biggest gift of all.

After we eat, my sisters drag me off for a walk on our own. It's not that I've been avoiding this situation precisely, but I have a feeling I know what's coming and I'm having enough arguments with myself without throwing their opinions into the mix.

‘Right,' Serena says once we're far enough away from the others, her hands going to her hips. ‘What. The. Actual. Fuck?'

‘What?' I ask.

Lil and Serena exchange a look and Lil says, ‘I told you so.'

‘You and Theo, Clemmie,' Serena says with exaggerated patience. ‘I didn't believe it when Lil told me what was going on, but here we are.'

‘I don't know what you're talking about,' I say unconvincingly.

‘It's like you're… together.' Lil puts a hand on my arm. ‘Like, really together. Are you? Why wouldn't you tell us?'

‘I—' I start, then stop, avoiding their eyes and trying to collect my thoughts. ‘We're not. We're just comfortable together. I suppose being stuck here alone, just the two of us, we've become pretty close. We've become… friends.'

‘I do not look at my friends the way you look at him,' Serena says.

‘Not to mention the way he looks at you,' Lil pipes up.

‘Yeah,' Serena exhales slowly. ‘That. I've known Theo a long time and I've never…' She trails off, bites her lip, clearly worried.

‘I don't know what you're talking about,' I say again, trying to sound firmer this time.

‘He's always looking at you, Clemmie,' Lil exclaims. ‘All soft and twinkly, like the friggin' heart-eye emoji come to life. I don't think he's even trying to hide it, from us or from you, it's so obvious. He's totally in l—'

‘Stop.' I cut her off with a wave of my hand. My voice is shrill. ‘I know why you think that, but you need to understand. That's just Theo being Theo. It's what he's like. He's charming; he's a six-foot-tall bag of muscles and charisma; he's tactile and flirty. He's like that with everyone.'

My sisters look at me. Lil looks sad. Serena is frowning.

‘Do you really think that?' Serena asks.

‘Of course I do! You're the one who told me he was a terrible flirt, that he dazzles people, that he sleeps around, which, you know, no judgement, but that's just not what I'm looking for. If I was looking for anything at all. Which I'm not.'

Serena shifts uncomfortably. ‘I know what I said, and I still haven't exactly changed my mind on all of that, but you really need to know that whoever that is,' – she gestures over her shoulder towards the beach where Petty seems to be trying to organize an egg-and-spoon race while Henry and Theo elaborately stretch their muscles like they're preparing for the Olympics – ‘is not the Theo Eliott I was talking about.'

‘Right,' I say, ‘so you're saying this isn't the real him, this is just… I don't know, holiday Theo, and we've been in a little bubble, the two of us on our own. And when he's back in the real world, then he'll be the man you know, the man you've known for years.'

‘Or, maybe this is the real him, Clemmie,' Lil says, determined as always to see the best in people. ‘He seems so genuine. This doesn't feel like a performance to me. Does it feel that way to you?'

I stare at the ground. ‘No. But maybe that's what makes him so dangerous.'

They both fall quiet again before Lil speaks. ‘Clemmie,' – her voice is gentle – ‘you're not the only one who would have issues trusting someone in Theo's position. It's not like Serena and I have been falling over ourselves to date people in the industry, and we're in the industry. We know better than anyone that there are plenty of Ripp Harrises out there.'

Serena lets out a snort of agreement.

‘But Theo?' Lil reaches out, takes my hand and squeezes it. ‘He isn't one of them. I can feel it.'

Serena looks less convinced, but for whatever reason she chooses to stay silent.

‘And what about Sam?' I say, and they both flinch at the name. ‘I didn't think he was like Ripp either, and look how that ended up. I honestly don't think I could go through anything like that again. Not just the breakup, but everything around it, the whole circus.'

‘Sam was a vicious little dickhead,' Serena spits out. ‘Whatever doubts I might have about Theo, I can tell you for a fact they are not in the same league.'

‘It doesn't even matter,' I insist. ‘I get what you're saying and why you think it, but Theo is a rock star who lives in LA. We're only stuck here together for a few more days. The list of reasons we would never work is as long as my arm. There's not going to be anything between us regardless of how I may or may not feel or what may or may not have happened in the past. He's not for me. That's what you said, Serena, and you were totally right.'

For once, my sister doesn't look pleased to be told she knows best. ‘These just sound like excuses,' she says slowly.

‘They're not excuses. They're facts.' I wish I didn't sound like I was trying to convince myself as much as them.

‘It's just that… you're different, Clemmie,' Lil says slowly. ‘I don't know if it's being here or if it's breaking up with Len, or if it's Theo, or some combination of all of those things, but something has changed. In a good way. You seem… lighter. I don't want to see you talk yourself out of something that could be wonderful because you're scared.'

‘I'm not scared,' I insist. ‘I'm just being realistic. Practical.' Before they can protest further, I say, ‘Now, can we go back and finish celebrating my birthday, please? Because before you leave, I am going to absolutely destroy you both in an egg-and-spoon race.'

And with that, the interrogation ends, because, as I know very well, even when they're busy worrying about my love life, neither one of my sisters is physically capable of resisting such a challenge.

Later, when Theo and I wave goodbye to everyone, I have mostly managed to push the conversation with my sisters out of my mind.

I have mostly managed to ignore the long, beaming looks from not just my mother, but from Petty and Ava too when they thought I wasn't looking.

I have mostly managed to resist leaning into Theo's touch like a besotted Labrador. Mostly.

‘Shall we go down to the beach and watch the sunset?' Theo asks. ‘We should make the most of the fire pit before David's guys come and take it away tomorrow.'

I eye him narrowly. ‘You've got more marshmallows, haven't you? I thought you told Serena we'd run out.'

‘I kept a stash back, just for us, birthday girl.'

‘How selfless of you to be thinking only of my happiness.'

‘Always.'

We head back down to the beach and Theo makes for the bar, pulling out a bag of marshmallows from behind the fancy, fruity, alcohol-free beer.

‘I knew your sister would never look here,' he says gleefully.

‘She's more of a clear spirits girl,' I agree.

‘When she's not drinking the blood of her vanquished enemies.' Theo's smile looks slightly haunted.

We throw a couple more logs in the fire pit and thread our marshmallows on metal skewers before sitting down side by side on one of the blankets. It's gone ten o'clock, and a burnished rose-gold light begins to spill across the sky. My name is scrawled in the sand in front of the fire pit next to Lil's and Serena's, all of them held inside the giant heart Lil drew with her fingertips.

‘I cannot believe that last race.' Theo shakes his head with a wince. ‘I think Lil might have broken a couple of my ribs. How can someone so tiny slam into you like she's a defensive player for the All Blacks?'

‘I tried to warn you,' I laugh, while carefully rotating my marshmallow. ‘You should have noticed everyone else was giving her an extremely wide berth.'

‘Honestly, I thought Serena would be the vicious one.'

‘Nope, Lil's always been a competitive nightmare. She once got suspended from school for breaking another girl's nose during a hockey match. She said she didn't do it on purpose, but I don't know… there's this red mist that descends.'

‘Henry was loving it, though, wasn't he?' Theo smirks. ‘She was busy trying to trip people up – including him – and he looked at her like she was an angel who fell out the sky.'

‘True love,' I smile.

‘Why is your marshmallow so perfect and mine always look like this?' Theo grumbles, blowing out the flames that are engulfing his marshmallow, leaving behind a blackened lump.

I examine my own evenly golden, gooey treat. ‘It's because I am careful and patient, something that you know very little about.'

‘Clemmie, I can be very careful and patient if the occasion calls for it,' Theo replies, and something low and serious in his tone has me looking up at him. His gaze is steady, open, and it makes my skin heat.

I smile, trying to cover the nervous feeling in my belly. ‘I'm sure. Tell it to the half dozen eggs you broke today.'

Something like disappointment flickers in Theo's eyes at my response, but he lets it slide, arranging his face in faux outrage. ‘I'm not saying the game was fixed, but did we test Serena's egg to make sure it hadn't been boiled? I swear she dropped it once and that thing bounced.'

‘Here,' I say, handing him the marshmallow. ‘I toasted this one for you anyway.'

‘You did?'

‘Yes, I did, because I know how rubbish you are at cooking them and that you would burn yours, but I also know how much you like eating them, you sugar junkie.'

‘You toasted a marshmallow for me.' Theo takes the skewer from my hand and just sits, looking at it for a moment.

I laugh, inexplicably nervous. ‘It's just a marshmallow, Theo.'

‘Mmm.' He makes a noise like he disagrees but doesn't want to tell me so.

‘And it's to say thank you.' I draw my finger through the sand, not wanting to look at him for some reason. ‘For my best birthday ever.'

There's a beat. ‘You mean I'm even better than a pink Power Ranger?' His body relaxes, the easy smile returns.

‘I mean watching Lil rugby-tackle you to the ground then trample over your prone body towards the finish line was even better than meeting a pink Power Ranger.'

‘I knew there was trampling. Having her mother referee was a clear violation of egg-and-spoon-race regulations.'

It feels like we've successfully navigated away from something too serious, back to familiar ground. We tease and bicker some more, and Theo eats his marshmallow slowly, like it's the most delicious thing in the world.

When he's finished, Theo picks up his guitar, and if you had asked me before this if I could think of anything cringier than a grown man appearing at a camp fire with an acoustic guitar, I'd have been hard pressed to give you an answer. But with Theo it's not an affectation. Or embarrassing. It's perfect. Probably because of how talented he is, but also because I realize now that Theo with a guitar in his hand is Theo in his natural state.

He starts to play softly, absently, in the background while we talk. That lovely melody he played for me and Lil first, and then other things, bits of songs I recognize and bits of songs I don't, all winding in and out of each other. Eventually he plays a tune so familiar to me that I instantly cringe.

‘Oh no, don't!' I exclaim.

Theo grins evilly as his guitar twangs those notes that prompted so many hokey, faux-southern childhood performances. The song I couldn't escape, that chased me down school corridors. The song my mother had cursed me with when she chose my name.

Oh my darlin', Oh my darlin', Oh my darrrrrrrlin' Clementine…

‘This song is my villain origin story.' I scowl at Theo. ‘This is what made me the neurotic wreck you see before you. This song following me around.'

Theo bursts out laughing. ‘It's not actually a bad song. It could be worse… all my mates used to sing the Chipmunks theme tune at me.'

‘The Chipmunks theme tune is jaunty,' I insist. ‘Everyone loves it. And Theodore was everyone's favourite chipmunk too, so that's not even real teasing. My song is worse. Definitely worse.'

Theo fixes me with a look, and then he starts playing again. And this time when he plays, he plays it softer, slower, and when he sings all the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

Now, somehow, the song isn't hokey at all; now it's raw and tender. He doesn't look at me, but the words that he sings wrap themselves around me like a caress. Surely, this is the least sexy song in the world? But somehow, somehow, Theo has changed it, made it into something lush and lovely and the way he sings my name over and over again has my breath catching.

When he finishes, the silence between us crackles, electric. In front of us, the sky is a molten flame above a silver sea.

‘Maybe I like that song when it's you singing it,' I manage, and I sound so vacuous and breathy that I cringe.

‘I like everything best when it's with you,' Theo says simply.

I shiver.

‘Cold?' Theo asks. I nod.

Theo puts his guitar down by his side and wraps a hand around my wrist, moving himself so he's sitting behind me, his legs either side of mine, my back pressed against his chest.

He grabs another blanket off the sand and pulls it around his shoulders, clasping it in front of me so that we're wrapped up together in a little cocoon. His body radiates warmth; I can feel the steady thud, thud, thud of his heartbeat, and as I sit there in the cradle of his arms, we don't talk, we don't say anything at all, we just watch the sun finally dip down below the horizon.