Chapter Three

Anika

I am pacing my bedroom on the verge of a meltdown. We should be leaving for my parent's house in twenty minutes but I am going to freak the fuck out first. My body is buzzing as the anxiety swells inside of me. It almost feels like pins and needles are stabbing through every nerve in my body, all while my gut is threatening to turn inside out.

“Hey,” Rowan says as he opens the door. If I stop pacing I will explode, so I don’t. I ignore him. “What’s wrong?”

“I think I’m having a panic attack?” I say as if it’s a question. Rowan steps in front of me and holds me in place by my waist. That should make me feel some type of way, but it doesn’t make its way through the panic.

“Close your eyes,” he says. I listen to him and squeeze my eyes shut. “Take a deep breath. Three seconds in and hold it then slowly exhale. Don’t think of anything other than breathing.”

I do as he suggests and focus entirely on counting my breaths. After a few rounds of this, I finally relax and Rowan drops his hands away from me.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“You don’t have to go, Anika,” Rowan says softly.

“Yes, I do.”

“How about this… You give me any word. If you get overwhelmed and you call it, we are out of there. I don’t care what’s happening or what’s being said, I will stand you up and walk you out of that house.”

“So a safe word. Which is funny considering I’m the one who’s fucked,” I sigh.

“Yes, a safe word,” he chuckles.

“I’ll stick with what I know. Red,” I say. I hear a knock at the door and give Rowan an odd look. “Who’s that?”

“Mia,” he says with a smile. I have so much to tell her and I think he knows that. He hasn’t brought up that he very clearly knew I was getting myself off last night. He will probably tell Max, if he hasn’t already.

I smile and step past Rowan to answer the door. “Hey beautiful,” Mia smiles. I push her back and shut the door behind me. “Oh god. What happened?” She looks amused.

“Have you talked to Max?” I ask.

“I sure have,” she grins.

“So, you know that he’s an evil lady blue baller?” I ask.

“Yeah. He said when you went to bed you looked frazzled. Why?” she asks as she sits in a chair on the porch.

“Uh. Well,” I say as I pace. “I may or may not have decided to take care of myself.”

“Okay. I figured as much. Why is that bad?” she asks.

“Well. I was using that evil rabbit one, right? Well, I didn’t hear Rowan coming until he knocked on the door. I tried to turn it off, but I turned it up.”

“Oh no,” she laughs.

“I was stupid and answered his knocking while I was literally on the edge of coming. He opened the door and told me about the alarm but then fucking smirked at me before he left. I immediately came when he shut the door. Probably way louder than what I thought. I am very positive he knew what was happening. Let’s not forget that you were right and he does want to fuck me but he was vague about it and told me that the ball is in my court,” I explain. “Oh and Max wants to go to The Cherry tonight I think. Which we all know what that means.”

“Which is?” she asks with a smile.

“That I am definitely having sex with him. Finally,” I say as I stop pacing and face her.

“And that bothers you?” she asks.

“Kinda. Yeah,” I sigh.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t know Max in that environment. I know the flogger and the crop. I don’t know what to expect and add in the fact that half the time I find myself repulsive for no good reason and it makes me freak out and run away. I don’t actually want to run away, but I also have this fear that we will get to that point and suddenly he will agree with everything I’ve been told by my family and Isaac. I’ll be that fat, ugly, and useless woman that everyone else thinks I am and that will be one more person who I miraculously disappointed.”

“You are the farthest thing from repulsive,” Max whispers in my ear. I instinctively scream and jump away from him. Max and Mia laugh heartily at my reaction.

“Jesus-fucking-Christ, Max,” I gasp. “You can’t fucking do that to people.”

“Sorry. I probably should have told you he was here also,” Mia laughs.

“You good?” Rowan asks with a smirk from the doorway.

“She was rambling and didn’t know Max was here. He snuck up and scared her when she called herself repulsive,” Mia says.

“I did not. I said my family and Isaac think I am,” I correct her.

“I have a feeling you’ll hit me if I address the first part of that conversation, so I’ll be nice… for now,” Max says with a grin. “I will say that there is absolutely nothing about you that will change my mind about you.”

“I know,” I sigh. “It’s just paranoia.”

“You’ll be reassured when you’re screaming my name,” he says as he kisses my forehead.

“Yeah, Yeah,” I say.

“Kind of like when…” I cut him off by slapping his arm and making him laugh.

“Well as much as I want to tease Anika right now, you two must go. We are going to The Cherry tonight regardless of how it goes. With or without sex we both know that what you do with Max is a stress reliever. The last thing we want is for you to lose your temper or have a total meltdown,” Mia says. “So, meet us there after.”

“Alright,” I sigh and lean against the banister with my eyes closed.

“Rowan will be with you. You will be fine,” Mia says.

“We have a safe word so we can make me leave if I get overwhelmed,” I chuckle.

“Smart. Use it. I’ll go get your stuff,” Mia says as she steps inside the house.

“What do you want to do tonight?” Max asks as he wraps me in his arms and squeezes.

“I don’t know, honestly. I can’t think straight. This is going to be a shit show with my parents,” I sigh.

“I have a few ideas. I’ll make sure we have the VIP room also,” he says before kissing the top of my head and pulling back.

“I trust you,” I say.

“You sure?” he asks seriously.

“Yes.”

“Then I’ll go ahead and warn you now that I’m having Rowan help me tonight, okay?” he says as he watches for my reaction.

I look at him for a second and try to come up with a reason I should be against it, but I find nothing. I want both of them to dominate me and have for a really long time. It’s foreplay, stress relief, and sex. It’s not a wedding. “Okay,” I say with a smile.

“Yeah?” he asks with a grin.

“Yeah. I’m okay with it,” I say confidently.

“You understand what that means, right?” he asks me.

“Yes, but you can certainly say it anyway,” I tell him.

“It means you’re giving him permission to put his hands on you. By that, you are agreeing to a full scene with both of us,” Max says.

“I know. I tried to come up with reasons why I shouldn’t be okay with it, but I can’t. There is no denying that I want it, so trying to suppress it will only stress me out,” I say.

“Then can we talk about last…” Max goes to say but I cut him off again.

“No!” I say and he chuckles.

“Here is your bag and your phone,” Mia says as she hands me my stuff.

“Thank you,” I say. “What do I say about why Rowan is with me?”

“The truth. He is your boss and your friend. After Isaac left a bruise on you, you don’t feel comfortable with no one there being by your side,” she says. “Rowan, do not let her take their shit. Be the bad guy if you must but she needs to stop letting them walk all over her.”

“Just don’t hit anyone,” I say and Rowan smiles.

“I won’t hit anyone,” he says. “I also won’t let anyone treat you like shit.”

“Me and Mia are going to get dinner close by so just call or text if you need us,” Max says to me as he hugs me.

“Okay. Thank you,” I say.

“We are going to have fun with you tonight, Nika,” Max says before kissing me. His lips on mine knocks the wind out of me. We’ve never kissed before either, but God I so wish we had now.

“Can’t wait,” I say quietly as I pull away.

“Your truck or mine?” Rowan asks me.

“She doesn’t need to be driving after being around them,” Mia answers for me.

“Mine it is then,” he smiles. “Ready?”

“No,” I say with a frown but step off the porch anyway. We go to Rowan’s truck and Mia hugs me tightly.

“Whatever you do, don’t punch Harper. Even though she deserves it,” she says. “Rowan, I don’t know if you know this, but Anika has a bad temper. It’s very explosive and violent if they push her too far so if you think she’s about to lose her shit, you need to get her out of that house. Okay?”

“Okay. I’ll just throw her over my shoulder and walk out,” Rowan smiles and opens my door. “Come on.” I sigh heavily and get into the truck. Rowan shuts my door and says something to Mia and Max before walking around to get into the truck.

“What was that?” I ask as he starts the engine.

“I just told them that we’d let them know when we were leaving,” he says.

“Oh,” I say. I lay my head back and close my eyes.

“What can I do? You look panicked again,” Rowan says.

“Just talk. I don’t care about what,” I say and he chuckles. “No,” I say simply.

“You don’t even know what I was going to say,” he says. I open my eyes and look at him and he is smiling brightly.

“Yes, I do,” I laugh and type my parent's address into his GPS.

“Then what was I going to bring up?” he asks. I lay my head back and close my eyes. “Come on now, don’t leave me guessing.”

“Your… intrusion,” I smile but keep my eyes closed. If I am willing to let him join in on kinky time, surely we can talk about this.

“It wasn’t an intrusion considering you answered, knowing I would open the door,” Rowan laughs.

“As true as that may be, I intended to turn it off,” I join his laughter.

“Forget how?”

“Something like that. I accidentally turned it up instead of off but then it was too late,” I laugh again.

“Oh, that’s unfortunate. I will say, I am impressed by your self-control.”

“So am I,” I agree with more laughter. “I thought I hid it well.”

“Oh, absolutely not. It was extremely obvious. If it wasn’t then, it sure as hell was when I shut the door,” he says.

“My bad,” I laugh. I am quiet for a bit but then I sit up and open my eyes. “I feel like all this should be weird with you, but it’s not.”

“Oh? I knew it was bound to happen eventually, but I expected a lot more shyness from you.”

“I am so used to Max and his chaotic tendencies that not much can shake me when it comes to this stuff,” I say.

“Except your boss walking in on you getting yourself off,” he states.

“Yeah, except that,” I agree with a smile.

“If it helps any, I should have known better. I knew exactly what Max was doing and I saw that it affected you. All I did was torture myself,” Rowan says.

“That repulsive, huh?” I ask with a smirk. Rowan narrows his eyes at me before looking back to the road.

“Watch it, little girl,” he warns as he turns onto my parent's road and stops at the gate.

“It’s 2105,” I laugh. He types the code in and drives through.

“I am much different at that club. Be cautious how you smart off to me, Nika,” he says with a smile.

“That name ,” I groan.

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” he asks.

“Good. You and Max are the only ones who have ever called me that. Mia does sometimes, but there is a heavy air of sexual tension attached to it,” I explain.

“Gotcha. Makes you want to get fucked,” he states.

“Yeah,” I laugh as we pull into the driveway. I see Isaac’s car but not my sister’s car.

“They drove together,” I say pointing at the car.

“Good for them. So did we,” he says as he grabs my hand. “Take a deep breath.”

I slowly inhale, hold it for a few seconds, then slowly exhale. I repeat this a few times but I can’t relax. “This is going to be so bad,” I whisper.

“One word and we are out of here, okay?” he says as he squeezes my hand.

“Okay. Let’s do this before I panic again,” I huff and open the door. I get out and join him at the front of the truck. “Mia was right when she said I have a bad temper.”

“I won’t let you blow up,” he says sweetly.

“Thank you,” I say as we walk toward the front door. I pause with my hand on the door to take another deep breath before I walk in.

As soon as I walk into my parent’s massive house, I am faced with Harper and Isaac making out. Isaac looks up and sees that Rowan is with me and rage instantly fills his eyes.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, Anika,” he growls at me.

“And she calls me a whore,” Harper scoffs.

“You are a whore, Harper,” I say simply as we walk past them. I walk to the kitchen where I know my parents will be, and they both look up at me at the same time .

“Who is he?” Dad asks as he looks back down to the vegetables he is chopping.

“Rowan Garcia. He is my boss and friend,” I answer.

“He do that?” he asks, pointing to the bruise on my arm.

“No, Isaac did.”

“Why?”

“You’ll have to ask him. My guess is because I caught him fucking my sister and I wouldn’t react and was leaving without saying anything to him,” I say.

“Why wouldn’t you talk to him?” he asks as he sets the knife down and looks up at me. Everyone is watching our exchange.

“Because there wasn’t anything to say. I put up with a lot from him. Once I had proof he was cheating, I was done. If I had a conversation, it would have just gotten nasty like our arguments always did.”

“People deserve a second chance,” Dad says simply.

“That wasn’t the first time he cheated. I just didn’t have proof until now,” I say. “Also, they came here together.”

“What proof?” Isaac barks at me.

“I know the owner of The Cherry,” I say to Isaac. The look on his face is a mix of shock and the same rage.

“What is The Cherry?” Mom asks me.

“It’s a BDSM-centered club,” I answer .

“How do you know what that place is?” she asks me.

“Because I’ve been there with Mia.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? You make a big deal over me and Harper and you’ve been cheating just like I thought you were?” Isaac says, raising his voice at me.

“I never cheated on you. Believe it or not, I can have friends without fucking them, Isaac . You were the one to go in there and fuck everything you got your hands on. I went to be with friends, and you also knew I was there every single time I went so don’t act shocked now,” I say.

“Who is Max?” Harper asks.

“A friend of mine. Why? Trying to fuck him but you want to see if I have any sort of attachment first?” I ask

“Anika Noelle,” Mom snips. I ignore her and stare at my sister.

“It’s okay, Mom,” she smiles. “Just curious if it’s the same one I subbed for last week.”

I laugh and look at Rowan who smirks and shakes his head. I didn’t think Max would stoop so low. “That’s a load of bullshit and you know it.”

“It’s not. I am pretty sure I’ve been his sub,” she says. I laugh again and pull my phone out.

“What are you doing?” Mom asks.

“Calling Max. If I am wrong, I’ll apologize,” I say simply. She nods in approval and Harper looks panicked again. She didn’t expect me to argue.

“Hey. Everything okay?” Max asks.

“Yeah, I just have a question. Were you at The Cherry any last week?” I ask.

“Yeah, I was up there almost every day to help Emma, Why?” he asks.

“Did you do any scenes?” I ask.

“Yeah. I had one with Mia on Wednesday. You already know this. What’s going on?”

“Harper said she was your sub last week,” I say.

“God no. You know I wouldn’t do that,” he says. I put the phone on speaker and smile at Harper.

“You are on speaker. Say that again,” I say.

“The only day I had a sub was Wednesday and it was Mia. I would never do anything like that with your sister. I’ve never even talked to her before,” Max says.

“Have you two ever done anything?” Harper asks.

“No, we haven’t,” he lies. “Who was that?”

“Harper,” I say as I take the phone off speaker. “Alright. Thank you.”

“Am I on speaker still?”

“No,” I say.

“She was with Isaac’s brother on Wednesday,” he says.

“Wow. Well, tell Mia I said hey. I’ll call you guys later,” I say, not reacting.

“Okay,” Max laughs as we hang up.

“Any other questions?” I ask my parents.

“Why did you bring Rowan?” Dad asks.

“Because I knew Isaac would be here and after putting yet another bruise on me, I didn’t want to chance getting cornered,” I say.

“This is a family dinner,” Mom snaps.

“If Isaac leaves then Rowan will,” I say. Mom grits her teeth and glares at me. “I thought so. Need any help with dinner?”

“No,” Mom snaps.

“Well, while this cooks we need to all go sit down and talk,” Dad says as he waves us all out of the kitchen. Everyone leaves but Isaac turns and blocks Rowan and me from exiting.

“You have some fucking nerve showing up here with him,” he says as he gets in my face.

“Whatever your assumption is about Rowan is a product of your own delusions,” I say simply. Isaac tightens his fists and steps closer. I can sense the tension coming from Rowan so I try to defuse the situation.

“Go ahead, Isaac. Do it. Show them your temper. Show them how you treated me when no one was looking,” I challenge him.

“Rowan doesn’t look the type to fuck you” Isaac snarls.

“Oh, but at least he doesn’t leave bruises behind,” I smile.

I watch Isaac snap as he grabs me by the arms. I know immediately he is about to slam me against a wall before Rowan can react, I yank my arms away and shove him backward toward my dad.

“ Don’t fucking touch me! ” I yell at him.

“Isaac, honey, go sit,” Mom says before looking at me. “If you would learn to control your mouth all of this could have been avoided. No wonder the man went looking elsewhere,” she says as she looks me up and down.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I deadpan.

“Watch your mouth when you talk to Mom,” Harper snaps as she steps up to get in my face.

“You’ll be watching at the inside of a hospital room if you don’t get the fuck out of my face,” I snap. She recoils with a huff and goes over to the couch and sits between Dad and Isaac.

“You should be ashamed of yourself for talking to her like that,” Mom says.

“I am so fucking sick of you people,” I shake my head and walk past her with Rowan following. Rowan and I sit across from the four others on the loveseat.

“We need to tell you a few things but know it’s not up for discussion. We are just telling you what we need you to do,” Dad says.

“What?” I sigh.

“Isaac and Harper are getting married and you are going to be her maid of honor,” Dad says and I laugh.

“No, I’m not,” I say simply.

“Yes, you are. She is your sister,” Dad says lowering his tone.

“Last time I checked, I am twenty-six. I am not having anything to do with her or her wedding,” I say.“Also, if they are getting married, why do you want me to hear him out?”

“Then who will be her maid of honor?” Mom asks.

“I don’t know or care, Mom. It’s not my day to give a shit about Harper,” I say.

“We can come back to that in a second. We have something more important to worry about,” Dad says.

“It will still be a no, but okay. Go ahead,” I say.

“So, when your sister had cancer as a kid, the treatments she underwent put a lot of stress on her organs,” Dad says.

“Okay?” I say, uncaring.

“Harper is in kidney failure and needs a transplant,” Dad says.

“And you two made sure that I was a perfect match for whatever she may need,” I deadpan.

“In short, yes,” Dad says.

“So, let me get this straight,” I say. “Harper is in kidney failure, and you want me to have a major surgery to give her one of my kidneys?” I ask.

“Yes,” Dad says seriously.

“After I literally just caught her actively fucking my fiancé… Who she is now marrying?”

“None of that matters right now, Anika,” Dad says with a warning in his tone.

“Yes, it does,” I say, raising my voice. “I get that I only exist so that she could survive cancer, but you no longer have the right to tell me what I can and cannot do with my body. You no longer get to put me through bone marrow transplants and test after test. I am not giving her anything.”

“She will die without this,” Mom says.

“I said no. I’m not doing it. I don’t wish death on anyone, but I am not doing it,” I say calmly.

“We are not giving you a choice, Anika,” Dad says.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I ask, sitting up.

“It means we have the ability to deem you incompetent for mental health reasons. Once we do that, we can sign for anything we want,” Dad says.

“ Are you fucking kidding me ?” I scream at him as I stand up. Everyone else stands with me.

“Stop screaming,” Mom says.

“Fuck you,” I snap at her. “Fuck all of you.” Rowan touches his hand to my back, and I know he is about to take me out of here. “I’m done. I’m done with all of you.” I turn to Rowan. I need support to get out of here.

“Just say the word,” he says simply.

“Red. I can’t do this,” I say quietly. He nods and turns to everyone else.

“We are leaving now,” he says as he picks up my bag and hands it to me.

“I’m filing the paperwork Monday,” Dad says to me.

“I hate you. I hate both of you. You never loved me. You never gave a shit about me unless I could do something for her. I never even got a ‘Happy Birthday’ let alone either of you telling me you loved me. Go to hell and take my whore sister with you,” I say with tears in my eyes. Rowan takes my hand and pulls me toward the door. Isaac quickly blocks us and looks angrier than I’ve ever seen him.

“Move or I’ll make you move,” Rowan says with an obvious air of violence in his tone as he steps toward Isaac. As I expected, Isaac moves out of our way and Rowan pulls me out of the house. I am a ticking time bomb at this point. I need to get away from them before that timer runs out and I explode.

Everyone follows us out and watches as Rowan opens the truck door and gets me inside before jumping in. Dad comes to Rowan’s window.

“If you run, I’ll have you committed,” he says as Rowan backs out. I lay my head back, close my eyes, and focus on my breathing as Rowan calls Max.

“Hey. Where are y’all? … No, it’s bad… Harper is in kidney failure, and they want her to give up one of hers because she is a perfect match for her… She did. She said no and they are going to try to deem her incompetent and have her committed so they can sign off on it to force her… She’s not talking… We are just a few minutes away. Just meet us in the parking lot… Okay. Let Emma know what’s going on. She may be able to think of something… He said he is filing on Monday… Okay,” he says as he ends the call.

Rowan takes my hand and intertwines his fingers with mine. His warmth is soothing. We stay hand in hand for the ten-minute ride to The Cherry.

As soon as Rowan put the truck in park, my door opens. Max unclips my seatbelt and pulls me from the truck so Mia can get to me. She cups my face and makes me look at her. “I need you to talk to me okay?”

“Okay,” I say softly.

“We will not let them do this to you again, Anika. I swear to God, we will figure something out,” she says.

“He’s right. I don’t have a choice,” I say with a shaky voice.

“No, he isn’t. We will figure this out,” she repeats.

“I am so angry that I don’t know what to do,” I sniff back tears. “I don’t want to give her anything else.”

“You don’t have to. We will figure it out, even if I have to drive your ass to Mexico and we hide out until she dies. I am not letting her take anything else from you, Anika,” Mia promises.

“Hey. Sorry, I got caught up,” Emma says. I turn to face her, and she hugs me tightly.

Emma is Max’s sister. She owns The Cherry and is also a lawyer who practices criminal and civil cases. She does a lot of pro bono work as well.

“Is there anything she can do?” Max asks his sister.

“Yeah, but you’ll have to do it tonight so the court will have it before he can file to commit her,” Emma says, looking at me.

“What?” I ask.

“You need to get married. Only next of kin can file that paperwork. If you get married, then your parents are no longer in charge of your care. At most, you’ll have to go to court and whoever you marry will have to assure the court that they think you are of sound mind. No amount of money can change that unless you get divorced. It absolutely has to look real though, or they can file against it if they can prove it’s a fake marriage,” she explains.

“It has to be Rowan. He went with her tonight, and she already lives with him,” Max says.

“Plus, Isaac already thinks they are a thing,” Mia adds.

“ Fuck ,” I say entirely too loudly. I back away from everyone and walk to the truck. This is too much. I don’t even know what to think, but this is too much. Rowan catches me by the waist and backs me against the bed of his truck. “I’m not asking you to do this.”

“I want to do this, Anika,” Rowan says softly.

“No, you don’t. I promise you don’t. I will figure out another way,” I say with tears running down my cheeks. Rowans cups my face as everyone else walks over.

“I have known you for eight years, Anika. You are an amazing woman. You are smart as hell and the kindest person I know. You do not deserve this, and I won’t let anyone take you from us,” he says as he wipes away my tears. “Marry me, Anika. We take everything day by day, but we start by getting you away from your family.” At least this way I know that I won't get committed and no one will cut me open.

“They won’t stop trying,” I say.

“Legally they can’t do anything once you are married,” Emma says.

“Marry me, Anika. Let me do this for you,” Rowan says.

Rowan is kind and respectful. He cares about me. This is the solution, and he wants to do this.

“Okay,” I say.

“Yeah?” Rowan asks with a smile.

“Yeah,” I return his smile. Rowan pulls my lips to his and kisses me. I melt into him, and he leaves me breathless when he pulls away.