19. Poppy Wells

19

Poppy Wells

I think I was in shock . Or something like that. Here I was sitting on the beach with Jasper Ridge after casually admitting to him that I was borderline suicidal and utterly broken.

Wow, Poppy. Wow.

I had no idea what was wrong with me. I was getting myself into a deep fucking hole here but for some reason, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to dig myself out of it. Jasper…he cared about me, if that was even possible. But he cared, regardless. The thought made me nauseous. I didn’t know what to do with that fact, so I pushed him away. Well , I tried to at least. I wanted him to shout at me so I couldn’t feel the pain anymore. Get mad at me like I deserved. Everyone’s response was normally anger. I could handle anger.

Fuck , I was made of anger.

I propose a bet.

His words echoed in my ears as I gaped at him.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he waved me off, fighting a smile.

Hell, he just pulled my ass out of the ocean and did whatever the hell he did to me as I laid like a fucking fish flapping out of water. I cringed at the thought. I wasn’t supposed to be breathing right now. I didn’t deserve to.

A shiver overcame me as he stood up, gazing out towards the ocean. After a moment, he turned to face me.

“Date me.”

I froze. My throat dried up. I expected a million thoughts to race through my head, but none did; it was completely empty apart from the echo of his words.

Date me.

“Whatever fucking drugs you’re on, Ridge, I want some,” I jested because there was no fucking way those words left his lips. No way .

Except, his face was entirely serious.

“Date me,” he repeated, as if the words hadn’t sunk in yet. “Well, not really date me but like pretend to so people think we are, you know?”

I gaped at him, at a loss for words. I was imagining this. Maybe I was dead. That was it . I was certifiably insane .

“You want me to…fake date you?” I asked cautiously. There had to be a catch somewhere. Guys like Jasper Ridge, of all people, did not date. Period . Yet alone fake date. In all the years I had known him, he had never had a girlfriend. Ever . But now he wanted me to be his fake one? Yeah, right .

“Why on earth would you of all people want to fake date me ? Girls practically throw themselves at you every day,” I rolled my eyes, and before he could say anything, I continued talking. “And don’t deny it because we both know it’s true.”

“You seem oddly concerned for my love life, Wellsy. One might say you seem a little jealous?” he smirked.

Color heated my cheeks, and I cursed myself for letting his words affect me that much. Think of the waves, the calm ocean waves. They reach the shore and then return to sea. Calm waves. Calm soul. Positive thoughts, Poppy. Positive thoughts .

I shrugged. “I am not jealous, Ridge. I’m just stating facts.”

A smile crept over his lips. “You’re different, Poppy.”

I froze. You’re different. How could he know? The only version of me he had seen was the fake me, the girl I used to be. So how could he tell the difference? No one knew me well enough to be able to say that. No one. You’re different . Yeah, funnily enough, that happens when your dad walks out on you and your mom hates you because she and everyone else in this town believes you killed your own brother. I was a punching bag for other people’s grief, a scapegoat for their conscience.

But I didn’t tell him any of that. Instead, I settled with a ‘ so do you ’ response.

Jasper looked at me like he was trying to read the unsaid words in my eyes. No matter how many masks I put on to hide myself from the world, it was like he could see straight through all of them and just see me.

“But, to answer your question, doing this will be mutually beneficial, I promise. It will keep all the girls’ bitchy mouths away from you and the guys’ prying eyes—”

I laughed, waving him off. “Trust me, no guys are prying their eyes at me.”

He frowned at me, his eyes unreadable but as a second passed, it was replaced by a grin. “Well, hey, if that doesn’t sell this, then at least you get to go out with me, which, if I do say so myself, is the biggest plus.”

“That doesn’t sound very mutually beneficial for you,” I replied skeptically. It was true, though. All the things, no matter how egotistical they were, really only benefited me. It made me wonder why he wanted to do this, and more so, why do this with me ?

“Ahh, but you didn’t let me get to the fun part,” he said excitingly.

“There’s a fun part?” I replied flatly.

He glared at me, and I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from grinning.

Annoying him was too easy.

Our old back-and-forth rhythm was a song I longed to play again.

“Sorry,” I said, playing along. “Go on. What’s the exciting part? ”

He glared at me. “Well, when you say it like that, Wellsy, it doesn’t sound very exciting.”

Now, I glared at him. He flashed me a smirk in return.

“The exciting part, Wellsy, is the bet : Me and you. Each heat, each competition, and whoever places higher on the rankings at the end of the summer season wins.”

I felt my stomach drop. The bet was surfing —against each other. How— how could I tell him that I couldn’t surf anymore? I could barely even look at my board without seeing his face. I tried, I fucking tried to push aside my fears and surf again…but look how that ended up. Hint: it nearly costed me my life. I shouldn’t even be breathing right now.

My throat started to close up and I could feel my hands begin to shake at my sides. I clenched my fists to try and get them to stop. I refused to let my anxiety make me seem weak in front of him. My old childhood rival. Except …a small part of me felt safe enough around him to be vulnerable like that, especially after he just saved my life. Again . I pushed that thought away and let it dwell within the pits of my conscience to deal with another time.

“Wellsy?” Jasper was crouched down in front of me, his eyes pinned to mine. There was no mistaking the worry hidden inside them.

“ One , that is not happening. Two …” I looked up at him, hoping my voice sounded more confident than I felt. “What would you win?”

He didn’t say anything for a minute, looking at me as if he was waiting for me to crack. I managed to hold myself together long enough to convince him that I was okay because his gaze shifted into an ‘ I know you couldn’t say no to a bet’ look . “It definitely is happening, Wellsy. And if I win, you have to let me take you on a date.”

I stared open-mouthed at him before shutting my lips tightly. Maybe I was still in shock. I probably was. Let me take you on a date. No, I was definitely in shock. I shrugged. It wasn’t what I expected him to say but it was easy enough—he didn’t specify how long the date had to be and there was no way that this bet was happening in the first place. And even if it did happen, he would not be winning it. I didn’t lose. Ever .

Not to him.

Not to anyone .

I tried to appear uninterested by his proposition. “And If I won?”

He lent closer to me. “I thought you didn’t want to take part in the bet, Wellsy?”

I glared at him, and he chuckled.

“ If you win, what would you like, Wellsy? Anything at all, name it.”

What did I want? Maybe to leave this town? To be able to surf again, to have my family back, to feel happy again. Everything What did I want? Maybe to leave this town? To be able to surf again, to have my family back, t o feel happy again . Everything ran through my head, making me feel dizzy. There were a lot of things I wanted in life, but over the years, I’d came to accept that none of them were ever going to happen.

I was a girl from the wrong side of the train tracks.

Dreams weren’t made for girls like me.

So I thought of the next best thing. I grinned so widely my cheeks hurt. “You have to publicly declare that I am the best surfer in Hawthorne Hills,” I paused, watching his face to show any sign of weakness but he revealed nothing except a glimmer of something unreadable in his eyes. “And you have to complete three tasks that shall remain unnamed until after I win.”

I had no idea what those three things could be but it felt nice to have a one-up on him.

Leverage .

Jasper’s brows rose as he smirked down at me. “Very mysterious, Wellsy.”

I narrowed my gaze. “That isn’t too much for you, is it? We can always call this bet off and save you any future embarrassment.”

He chuckled. “If using me as a scapegoat is your way of getting out of this bet, Wellsy, then you really have changed.”

I shrugged, revealing nothing.

Leaning towards me, his slow breaths kissing my ear, he whispered, “do we have a deal then?”

I bit my lip, contemplating. “ Fine , Ridge. We have a deal.”

What had I just gotten myself into?