1. Logan

ONE

I love a good party.Drinks, food, music, friends—what's not to love? Mars Fitness's New Year's Eve party is always one of the best of the year, and it's totally living up to expectations. The drinks are top shelf, and the food is delicious. The live DJ is bringing down the house, and all my best friends are here. I have no one to blame for my mopey mood except me.

Well, me and my boyfriend, Jay. Who is not here. Even though he said he would be.

I down the last of my kiwi martini and wave to the bartender for another. As I'm leaning against the bar, two of my friends and co-workers come up looking for their own refills.

"There you are!" Sawyer claps me on the back. He's the front desk manager at Mars Fitness, the gym where I work as a juice bar barista. "You disappeared on us!"

"Needed another drink," I say. This is my third… or maybe fourth? I've lost track.

Sawyer exchanges a not-very-subtle glance with Everest, one of Mars's personal trainers. I know what they're thinking: does Jay even exist? This isn't the first time I've planned on introducing them to Jay, only to have him bail on me at the last minute. They're constantly joking that I've made him up, but there's no way my imagination can dream up someone like Jay.

It's only been six months since we started seeing each other, but it feels like I've known him forever. He's kind. He's smart. He's funny. He's strong. And he's hot. He's so very, very hot.

"Where did you say your boyfriend is?" Everest asks. He tries for a casual vibe, but I hear the skepticism in his voice.

"He had to go on a business trip," I answer, thanking the bartender when he sets down a fresh martini in front of me. "He said it was an emergency."

Sawyer looks dubious. "How do you have a business emergency on New Year's Eve?"

I shrug nonchalantly even though I've been asking myself the same thing all week. He's been gone since before Christmas and other than a few text messages, I haven't heard from him. I don't know where he's gone or when he'll be back. "He has an important job."

"Which is… what?" Everest nods at the bartender who hands him two beers, one for him and the other for Sawyer.

"He's an analyst," I say, poking at the slice of kiwi in my glass with a toothpick.

"An analyst for what?" Everest prods.

I shrug again. "Something to do with business, I think. He tried to explain it, but I didn't understand."

"Where does he work?" Sawyer asks.

"Manhattan." Duh. Obviously.

Everest snickers. "What's the name of his company?"

I open my mouth to answer, then snap it shut again when I realize I don't know what his company's called. He's mentioned it before, I'm sure of it. I have a distinct memory of us sitting on the couch with glasses of wine while talking about our jobs. I must've forgotten. "I don't remember."

Everest and Sawyer exchange another look.

"What?" I pout. "What does it matter? It's some business company."

"Have you met any of his friends yet?" Sawyer asks.

"Yes!" I catch myself before continuing. "Actually, no. We were going to go to dinner with some of his friends, but then… he got called away on a business trip."

"Convenient." Everest's remark couldn't be snider if he tried.

"Shut up. You're making it sound like I don't know anything about him. It's not true. I know plenty about Jay."

"What about his family? Parents? Siblings?"

I roll my eyes at Sawyer's questions. "What is this? An interrogation? Of course, he has parents," I scoff. "And he's an only child… I think."

Because now that I think about it, I'm not too sure. He's told me stories from his childhood, but did he ever specify whether he has siblings?

"Mmhmm, and where is he from?" Everest is all smug now, like I'm some criminal they've caught in their snare.

But the joke is on them because I know the answer to this one. "The Midwest."

Sawyer winces while Everest bursts into laughter. "The Midwest? That's a little vague. Which state? Which city?"

"I—" Damn it. I don't know.

"So let me get this straight." Everest can barely speak now. He's laughing so hard, he's got fucking tears running down his face. "You don't know what the guy does for a living or where he works. You haven't met any of his friends and you don't even know whether he has family or where they're from. What do you know about him?"

I set my already-empty martini glass down on the cocktail table a little too hard. "He likes red wine better than white," I say, ticking off the fact on a finger. "He watches Drag Race. He can play every single sport under the sun. He loves the theatre. We've been to see Wicked—twice. And he wears size fifteen shoes." I say the last part with a wiggle of my eyebrows.

"You know the whole dick-to-feet ratio thing isn't real, right?" Sawyer asks, but before I can dispute him, he continues. "And you've just described half the gay men in the city."

"No, I haven't." I plant my fists on my hips. "Jay is one-of-a-kind."

"One-of-a-kind serial killer." Everest snorts.

"What? He's not a serial killer. He wouldn't hurt a fly."

"He could have a secret family," Sawyer says and he doesn't sound like he's joking anymore.

Everest points at Swayer, eyes lighting up. "He could be a spy!"

"He's not a spy or a serial killer. He doesn't have a secret family!"

Everest and Sawyer both stare at me like I'm losing my mind.

"He doesn't! We've been talking about moving in together! Why would we do that if he has a secret family?!" I'm aware I'm shouting now and if it wasn't for the loud music pumping through the speakers, I'm sure the whole party would be able to hear me.

"You're moving in together?" Sawyer's expression has lost all traces of amusement.

Even Everest looks worried. "How long have you been together?"

"Six months. Some people get married in less time."

"Have you even been to his place yet?" Sawyer's eyes are narrowed in suspicion.

"Yes! I have! It's in—" I cut myself off. Shit. That wasn't his apartment. It was his friend's and he was apartment-sitting for the week.

"It's in?" Sawyer prompts.

I huff. "So it wasn't exactly his apartment. His friend was on vacation and Jay was staying there to look after the cat."

"Does he even have a place?" Everest asks with a laugh. "Maybe he's a rent boy!"

"He's not a rent boy!" I give Everest a shove.

"Then he is a serial killer! He disposes the bodies and lives in the empty houses until he finds his next target." Everest gasps. "Oh my god, Logan, you could be his next target!"

"He's not a serial killer!" I jump on Everest, trying to get him in a headlock, but he grabs me around the waist and we tussle for a bit before letting each other go.

When we get back to Sawyer, he looks thoughtful. "The chances of him being a serial killer are slim. It's more likely he's got a secret family stashed somewhere. Why else is he disappearing for weeks at a time and won't tell you where he's going?"

"Oh!" Everest squeezes between me and Sawyer, clapping a hand on each of our shoulders and jumping up and down. "You know what we should do? We should stalk him! The next time he leaves your place, we'll follow him and see where he goes."

"I'm not stalking my boyfriend." I turn to Sawyer for support, except Sawyer looks like he's actually considering Everest's ridiculous suggestion. "I'm not stalking my boyfriend!"

"Normally, I would agree." Sawyer shoots me a silent apology. "But there's definitely something not normal about this guy."

"I need another drink." I spin around to head for the bar, but Sawyer and Everest stop me.

"No really," Sawyer says. "It can't hurt. At the very least, you'll find out which neighborhood he works in. Maybe even the name of his company."

"No! I'm not stalking Jay! I trust him. I love him. He's the one."

"Oh god, not ‘the one' again." Everest uses his fingers to make air quotes.

Sawyer looks sheepish—probably because he and his best friend have finally admitted they're soulmates after years of pining for each other. He didn't believe in "the one" until he found his. "I don't know about ‘the one', but you can't really be in love with a guy you know nothing about."

I cross my arms and fight back the tears prickling the backs of my eyes. It's the booze. I always get a little weepy with too much booze.

"I do know him! I know everything that's important to know. He's got a good heart. He's good to me. I'm happy when I'm around him." I sniffle and swipe at the stray tear that's escaped. "I'm sure he's got a good reason for not telling me those other things. He will when he's ready."

Sawyer and Everest fall quiet as I pull myself together.

Then Everest claps his hands together and rubs them back and forth. "Right, well, anyway. It's New Year's Eve and if Jay isn't here, then it's his loss. We're going to party and have a good time!" He takes me by the shoulders and directs me back to the bar for more drinks.

Sawyer slips away, going to find his boyfriend, I'm sure. They really are cute together, but seeing them be all lovey-dovey only makes me miss Jay even more.

At the bar, the bartender is pouring glasses of champagne in preparation for the midnight countdown. The music fades and the sound system crackles to life as one of my bosses picks up a microphone.

He starts in on some speech about the end of one year and the start of another. I don't really listen to him, focused instead on my phone. Will Jay call me at midnight? Should I call him?

On the big screen, there's a broadcast from Times Square and the big glittering ball dropping as everyone shouts, "Ten, nine, eight…"

I hold my breath and clutch my phone tightly in my hand.

"… three, two, one! Happy New Year!"

My phone doesn't ring, doesn't vibrate. It stays dishearteningly silent.

"Happy New Year!" Everest pulls me into a tight hug and I gratefully hug him back.

When he lets me go, I quickly type out a message.

Logan: Happy New Year, babe! Miss you! *champagne glass emoji* *kissing emoji*

I hit send and wait, hoping that the three little dots will pop up, telling me he's writing back. I wait and I wait and nothing.

"Put that thing away!" Everest takes my phone from me and stuffs it into his own pocket. "You're not allowed to look at it for the rest of the night!"

He drags me forward and suddenly I'm surrounded by my friends and co-workers from Mars. They're great people and I love them. But I can't help thinking of Jay.

He's got a good reason. He'll explain everything. I'm sure of it.