Chapter 22

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

brADEN

FOUR DAYS LATER

As I pulled into the parking lot at Quivira Glen Park in Shawnee, Kansas, I chuckled to myself when I saw my best friend standing next to the swing set, hands in his pockets, wearing a pair of black slacks, a white button-down shirt, and a navy-blue tie. The exact same outfit he'd worn to our senior year homecoming dance. And this park? It was where they'd ended up that night after being run out of the dance by one of Kyler's tormentors. Where they'd had their first kiss, and where he'd asked her to be his girlfriend.

"It's almost go time," I announced as I walked over to where a small crowd of Ian and Kyler's family and friends was congregated. "Ky should be right behind me."

"Thanks, man." Ian took a deep breath, bouncing in place like he was on the sidelines at one of our high school games.

I had no idea why he was so nervous. We all knew this was just a formality. Unlike the clusterfuck that was my love life right now.

My love life.

Fuck, I'd never thought I would live to see the day when I said those words. But there was no other word for what I was feeling. What else could I call the woman who owned every single one of my thoughts? The woman – and child – I would have laid down my life for if it meant giving them back what they'd lost or sparing them one more second of pain? The only person in the whole world I could envision a future with?

The woman who'd bent over backward to provide for my son when his mother was so cruelly ripped away from him mere hours after he'd entered this world. And who had been so determined to make her own way when an unhinged psycho had done everything she could to keep me from knowing that baby even existed.

The woman I wished I was with right now more than anything, rather than being present in the moment celebrating two people I loved like family on one of the happiest days of their lives.

"Oh. Em. Gee. Is that Braden Hicks? The Braden Hicks? The highest-paid rookie wide receiver in the country?" Melissa Van Der Beek mock gasped, pulling me from my inner turmoil. "Can I have your autograph, Mr. Big Football Man?"

I rolled my eyes as I gave her a hug. "Might wanna check your facts, blondie. I'm not a rookie anymore. Unlike your man." Turning to her boyfriend, Liam, I held out my hand, which he shook. "I hear there are talks about calling you up to the majors, man. Congrats."

He chuckled as he wrapped an arm around Melissa's shoulders and kissed her temple. "Nothing's a done deal yet. But thanks."

"Is everything okay, B?" Melissa asked. "You seem…I don't know. Off."

Oh, hell no. I was not doing this right now. Kyler had already tried to ask me what was wrong when she'd shown up at my scavenger hunt stop about half an hour ago, and I'd shut that shit down so fucking fast. No way in hell was I about to ruin this day for her and Ian by unloading about what a shitstorm my life was.

"I'm fine," I muttered.

"Guys, she's here!" Ian's sister, Izzie, exclaimed as she vibrated with excitement like a kid looking into a toy store window.

The buzz of conversation ceased as we all turned toward where Kyler was getting out of her car in the parking lot, dolled up in a replica of the dress she'd worn to homecoming almost five years ago. Ian took several deep breaths before he started to walk over to her, meeting her halfway.

"Hey, baby," he murmured, wiping some tears off her cheeks and pecking her on the lips. "You look amazing."

"So do you. You know, it's a good thing I drive a hybrid with all the driving around town you had me do today," she teased him.

He gave her another kiss, then pressed his lips to her forehead before taking another calming breath and starting to speak.

"I love you. So much. But whenever I'm with you, it's like everything I want to say gets caught in my throat and nothing comes out. That's why I had you drive all over town today, and that's why I wrote all those notes. It gave me a chance to word everything I've wanted to say to you since we first started dating exactly the way I needed to.

"You're the most incredible person I've ever known, Ky. You're beautiful and smart and you have a great sense of humor, and you get me like no one else ever has. And you're the strongest person I've ever met. You've been to hell and back, and somehow, you haven't let it break you. You inspire me every day to be a better man. A stronger man. Every day when I wake up next to you, I look at you and wonder how I got lucky enough that you've agreed to let me be the man who gets to love you. And all I want for the rest of my life is to keep being that man. The one who gets to love you and cherish you the way you deserve."

As I listened to my best friend pour his heart out to the woman he loved, I had to choke down the lump that rose in my throat. Because everything he was saying? It could have been me talking about Dani. She was one of the strongest women I knew, and even though she'd been pushed to her breaking point, she had figured out a way to pick up the pieces and keep going.

She was a force of nature. I was a screwup who didn't deserve a single second of her time. I was in complete awe of her, and I wanted nothing more than to be able to show her that every single day for the rest of my life.

Ian took another deep breath and swallowed hard, then pulled the ring box from his pocket and got down on one knee, popping the lid open. "Kyler Madeline Strong, will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?"

"Yes! Yes, of course!" she exclaimed with a giggle.

While Ian kissed her hand, slid the ring on her finger, and then stood up to crash his lips to hers, everyone in our crowd – who would always be my chosen family, no matter how many miles separated us – erupted in cheers and applause.

But the smile that spread across my face as I joined in the celebration felt wrong. Hollow. Empty. Because all I could think about was a woman who was nine hundred miles away from me. And the very real possibility that I might never get a moment like this one with her.

I'd hadn't even gotten a chance to pour myself a cup of coffee when I heard someone banging on the front door. Groaning, I ignored it and continued fixing my mug of the bitter nectar of the gods. I had absolutely zero desire to people right now. Unless those people were Dani and Isaac – which, given that I was in Kansas and they were in Florida, was impossible at the moment.

Another loud knock sounded as I took my first sip.

"B, get your ass out here!" I heard Ian calling.

Nope. Not fucking happening. I'd had about as much of watching my newly engaged friends as I could take yesterday. I loved them both, but when all I could think about was the tangled mess that was my life…well, watching them be so happy and in love was just too much to handle.

"We're just as stubborn as you are, Braden!" Kyler hollered. "We'll wait out here all day if we have to!"

"Damn it!" I groaned loudly as I padded my way to the door and threw it open.

Standing there with a huge box from LaMar's Donuts and a drink carrier full of frozen coffees from Groundhouse – two of my favorite local places – were Ian and Kyler, accompanied by Melissa. Kyler immediately handed the drink carrier to her best friend and slid her arms around my waist, squeezing tight.

Just that simple gesture made my eyes sting as I returned her hug. This girl had always seemed to know when someone she cared about was hurting, even if they did their damnedest to hide it from her. Ever since I'd known her, regardless of what was going on in her own life, she'd been hyper-attuned to that kind of thing. And right now, I was the undeserving asshole who was on the receiving end of that compassion.

"You going to let us in, or are we going to just stand here and let those coffees melt?" Ian asked.

With a sigh, I stepped to the side and let them in, then shut and locked the door behind them. They followed me into the dining room, and I went to grab plates for the donuts before sitting at the table.

Kyler pulled her chair up next to me, set an Irishman blended coffee – Irish cream and hazelnut – in front of me, and put a hand on my arm. "Braden, I know you didn't want to bring the mood down yesterday, and I love you for being so concerned about making sure Ian and I's day was special. But I can also tell there's something going on with you. Something big."

"I can't put this on you and Ian, Ky," I said quietly, opening the box and grabbing a pineapple cake donut and a Bavarian cream bizmark. "You just got engaged."

"Yeah. Yesterday," she chuckled weakly. "You can't use that excuse anymore."

"We're a family, B," Ian said. "Distance doesn't change that. And family helps each other."

"And doesn't judge. No matter what," Melissa added. "There's nothing you could say that would make us look at you any differently. So talk to us. Let us help you."

I tried to choke down the lump in my throat, but I wasn't entirely successful, and I just rested my elbows on the table, burying my head in my hands. "Fuuuuck."

"I mean, I guess cussing up a storm is an option too," Kyler teased. "But we can't help you if we don't know what's wrong."

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. They were right. I needed to talk about this. Even though I'd already talked to Malachi, it just wasn't the same. He didn't know me the way they did. And I needed to talk to someone who didn't know Dani. Someone neutral. Well, as neutral as they could be, given that these three incredible humans knew and loved me unconditionally.

Thank fuck my mom had already left for work, because even though I knew I needed to tell her she had a grandson, I just wasn't ready for that conversation yet. I needed a little time to process this myself before I told her and she got all caught up in the excitement of being a grandmother. Not to mention that right now, the safe thing for my mom was keeping her at arm's length until I was able to prove what I already knew and put Vicki behind bars where she belonged.

And I knew my friends would be able to help me with the processing. So I started at the beginning and told them everything. About Dani and Isaac. About Amara. About Vicki keeping it from me. About my suspicions that Vicki was my stalker. I just let it all out – the good, the bad, and the ugly.

By the time I was done talking, I was in tears. Again. Because every time I thought about Dani, it broke me all over again. Nothing I could do for her would be enough to express the depths of my sorrow and regret. All my apologies felt hollow and meaningless. All the money in the world wouldn't bring her sister back. And there was no way in the world she'd ever be willing to give a fuckup like me a chance to prove that I could be different. That I wanted to be different. For her, and for Isaac. That I wanted to give him a good role model to look up to. Be the kind of father he could be proud of.

"B. Oh, my God," Melissa murmured as she got up from her chair to hug my shoulders.

Kyler followed suit, wrapping her arms around me from the other side. "I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you will get through this, Braden. And we'll help you however you need us to."

"I just… I can't…" I choked out. "How the fuck do I make any of this right?"

"It's not your fault, man." Ian got up and dragged his chair closer to where I was sitting, with my two sisters from other misters still refusing to let go of me. "There's nothing to make right. You didn't know about Isaac. And the second you found out about him, you stepped up to the plate. Made sure Dani knew you weren't going to let her do this alone, no matter what happens between you two."

My chest tightened again at the thought that my relationship with Dani might be limited to co-parenting Isaac. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to do that. How I could be the kind of father Isaac deserved while pining away for his mother, the only woman I had ever seen a future with.

"I know I don't deserve her, but I?—"

"Nope. You are not allowed to finish that sentence, sir," Kyler said, pulling back just enough to pin me with a harsh glare. "How many times have I told you that when you finally met the person you were supposed to be with, she'd be the luckiest girl in the world?"

"Gee, thanks, baby. I'm feeling the love," Ian teased.

She chuckled as she let go of me and sat on his lap, kissing his cheek. "Other than me. I thought that went without saying." Then she turned back to me. "Seriously, though. This situation sucks, and I'm not going to pretend it doesn't. Nothing anyone can say or do will bring Amara back. But you and Dani found each other despite everything that was working against you. That wouldn't have happened if it wasn't meant to be."

"How ass-backward is that, though?" I took a deep breath. "Dani and I found each other because her sister died giving birth to our son. Who I didn't even know about, because my psycho bitch of a publicist decided to keep his existence from me. What kind of fucked-up master plan is that?"

"It's not a master plan," Melissa said, grabbing an orange cake donut and sitting back down. "No one plans for a tragedy like that. Not even the universe. I'm a firm believer that fate changes, even if some parts of it stay the same. Isaac was conceived for a reason, and you were always supposed to be his dad. But the way you found out changed because of what Vicki did. And so did the role you're supposed to play in his mother's life. Because Dani is his mother now."

I nodded as I swiped at my cheeks. "She is. And she's an amazing one, but she doesn't see it."

An ear-splitting grin spread across Ian's face. "Yeah, man, you're officially a goner. I called it the second you told me about that bullshit plan of yours."

I snorted. "Yep, you did. But I was too much of a moron to see it. Until she started singing along to ‘Domino' when I was driving her home from our first date. I don't know what it was about seeing her like that, just lost in the music and happy, even if it was only for a minute. But like…I just knew I wanted to make sure she was always that happy. For the rest of her life."

Now it was Kyler's turn to grin. Just like I knew she would. She'd been waiting for the day when I fell for someone pretty much since we became friends in high school.

"It's still a sucky situation, but seriously, B, you couldn't have given me an engagement present I would have loved more," she said as she got back up to hug me again. "I love knowing you found someone who makes you as happy as Ian makes me."

"One step at a time, Ky," I chuckled weakly. "I have to convince Dani to give me a chance first. She didn't say or do anything when I kissed her on Monday afternoon at my lawyer's office."

"Um, from what you told us, you didn't really give her a chance to," Melissa snickered. "You kissed her and then just walked away. Who does that?"

"Give Casanova here a break, Liss," Ian teased. "He doesn't know how to do the relationship thing yet. He'll learn."

I couldn't help it. I laughed. Leave it to these three to manage to make me smile when my whole life was in shambles. And that was why they would always be family to me, no matter what.

"There he is," Kyler said, rubbing my back. "So, do you have a picture of Isaac? I wanna see him."

"Correction: we wanna see him," Melissa piped up.

Fuck.

No, I didn't. What kind of father didn't have a single picture of his own son?

Okay, so I hadn't really had a chance to take one, but still. It made me feel like even more of a deadbeat than I already did.

But I knew just where to get one.

"No, but I'm sure Dani can send me one. I'll be right back. I need to grab my phone. And don't even think about taking the last lemon bizmark while I'm gone."

"No promises." Kyler stuck her tongue out at me.

I got up from the table and headed into my bedroom, unplugging my phone from the charging cord. When the screen lit up, the first thing I saw was a text notification, and once again, hope started to spring to life inside me. But it was quashed just as quickly when I opened my messaging app to find that it was from a blocked number.

Blocked

Running away to Kansas won't break the bond we have, baby. Distance can't keep me away from you, and neither can that fucking whore who thinks she can take what's mine.

My stomach twisted up into a knot, threatening to expel the donuts I'd just eaten.

This had to be Vicki. She'd known about my trip to Kansas because I'd told her about it when she was working for me. To make sure she didn't try to schedule me for any events while I was here.

Thank God I'd thought to alert Dani's security detail about my suspicions. At least they'd be able to keep an eye out for Vicki while I was nine hundred miles away and unable to do a damn thing about any of this.

But they weren't me. I needed to be there, proving to them that I could be the father and partner they deserved. And making sure they knew that I'd die before I let anything happen to either of them.