Chapter 25

I'm getting a little tired of asking myself what the hell is my life. It's getting real damn old.

And yet, here I am.

Luke, of course, has a point about switching up the car I'm using to get to work.

I'll be more difficult to track on the road, and if they don't know my schedule, the Cobras will have to post someone at the hospital all the time.

That'll increase the odds they get caught.

And I can tell security about them—about what I saw the other day.

"Fucking hell."

I sigh, pulling back from Luke and turning toward the kitchen.

"Where are you going?"

He calls from behind me, but I can hear him quickly following as I head to the fridge.

"I need a damn drink, and I do not care that it's—" I look at the clock on the microwave "—eleven thirty-two in the morning."

Luke just laughs, doing nothing to stop me from grabbing the last beer in the fridge. I'm a bit surprised by that. I thought he had a bunch, but I'm too worked up to care.

"Okay." I crack it open and take a swig. "I'll let you drive me. God, this is ridiculous."

Coming up around me and swooping me into another hold, Luke lays his forehead against the top of my skull.

"If keeping you safe is ridiculous, I'm glad I have a reputation around this town for being the wild one of us Shaws."

"The wild one?" I raise my brows. "Sure, now you tell me."

He laughs again. Apparently, I have an escort to take me to work now. Lucky me.

* * *

Two weeks later…

I'm still not used to getting dropped off at work.

Luke has been nothing but kind and compassionate and gives me as much independence as he can in every other situation, but I am so over this.

"Dr. Stewart." My attending, Dr. Carter, comes up to me where I'm sitting in the lunch room. "Are you ready for today's procedure?"

As I finish up a note in a folder, I set the pen down and face her with a confident nod.

"Of course. I've been looking forward to seeing this type of valve replacement up close."

Dr. Carter lifts a brow at me, smiling gently. "Your niece, right? Doesn't she need a similar operation?"

Nodding while doing my absolute best to not let concerns for her flood my nerves, I plaster on a professional grin.

"Yes. She's having the procedure soon, actually. This will give me an idea of what she's going through."

Linda nods, but she narrows her eyes, folding her arms across her chest. "Sure, sure. Just remember, every patient is different, especially your young niece and this older gentleman who's lived a hard life. His prognosis is very different from hers."

Concern bleeds through my veins, and I nod—slowly and very hesitantly.

I know that our patient, Mr. Jenkins, doesn't have a good outlook regardless of our success today.

His heart complications are serious and have been left untreated, or at least not treated properly, for a while.

"I understand, Dr. Carter. We're not superheroes. We just do our best."

It's a familiar line we repeat a lot to each other and the other doctors.

And what's more, it's essential.

You can't get up in your head about a case and how it turns out. If you let yourself fall apart after one unfortunate outcome, you won't be able to help anyone else.

"That's right. Okay." Linda claps her hands together. "Finish up your break, and I'll see you down there in a few."

"Sure thing, boss." I smile at her, and Dr. Carter leaves me to finish up my breakfast.

Similar to every other day, it's a banana and a bit of toast with peanut butter. My appetite has been off lately, and I just pray it settles okay this time around.

Either I'm ravenous, or I can't even look at food. Ugh, I'm probably getting my period.

The thought is a total drag. I haven't really had to deal with Luke and PMS at the same time, and I loathe the idea of it.

I know I'm a bit of a grump when Aunt Flo comes to visit, and Luke's teasing will not sit well when the time comes.

Across the room, a loud bang shocks me out of my internal musing, and I jump in my chair.

My hand goes to the phone in my scrub pocket, and my pulse skyrockets.

However, when I look up, it's just a janitor dealing with the trash cans. I've overreacted—again.

Jumpy is a damn understatement for how I've been lately, and I know it has everything to do with the eyes I feel watching me wherever I go.

I've managed to get the toast down at this point, so I decide to call it good, and I take my garbage over to where the older guy is cleaning up.

With a polite smile, I toss my stuff away and set the cafeteria tray with the others that need to be cleaned and restocked.

The room is mostly empty right now. And I know it's because 10:45 a.m. is a bit late to be having breakfast.

The joy of weird work hours. Still, it's nice when your roomie is keeping you up late.

My heart patters against my ribs for a moment as I remember Luke's now-familiar goodnight routine with me.

I'm aware we're in that new relationship phase, and that's when the guy is most likely to be all about the sex, but damn.

That man is hard to keep up with. Thankfully, he's all about delivering when I need to just lie back and relax.

Laughing a little to myself, I start for the nurse's station. I'm still surprised it was Luke, out of everyone, who finally got me to cross that bridge.

As I come around the corner heading left, I run into someone, and a tiny yelp escapes me, immediately backing up.

"I'm so sorry."

Looking up from straightening my stethoscope, I'm face-to-face with another patient.

He's younger, around my age, I think, and his thick hoodie and jacket combo makes his shoulders look especially broad.

"Yeah, watch where you're going, huh? Damn, woman."

That pit in my stomach pulls hard at the words, a knife edge setting up shop in each of my nerves.

"Truly, I am sorry."

The man just nods and walks off down the hall in the direction he was going.

I hurry away, going straight to the nurse's station that I know is just up ahead to the left.

When I get there, I look back over my shoulder for any trace of the guy, but there's nothing.

A security officer is posted at the door across from me, and I'm tempted to go to him.

You're being ridiculous, Clara. You can't judge every person you run into.

Steadying myself with a deep breath, I turn to Helen behind the counter.

"Hi, Helen. Do you have the patient charts that are next for me?"

She looks up from the computer with a smile before reaching to a small stack on the desk and lifting it up to me.

"Light load for now, Dr. Stewart. Left time for your procedure in a few minutes."

"Perfect. Thank you, Helen."

I take them, glad she did leave me time in the schedule. Valve replacements are tricky, lengthy surgeries, and I know we'll be in the OR for a while.

Going through them, I scan the names and diagnoses to buy time while I wait to go scrub in.

Mostly, it's the same old, same old, but one of the patient names stops me. Callum King.

King. The patient we lost, the man who started all this, was Dante King.

I hurry over to the bed where the man is set up. I'm not sure what I'm looking for, even.

I just want to see if he looks similar to the other patient. If he's…a Cobra.

My shoes squeak against the tile floor as I skid to a stop in front of bed nine.

King looks up from his phone.

Blond hair, blue eyes. Not related to the other man. He's also free of tattoos and is using a hands-free headset.

From what I can tell, he's giving instructions to someone. I look down at the chart; he's there for an appendectomy.

Simple surgery. I'm just there to help because Dr. Lewis is out.

"Dr. Stewart?" I turn, seeing Linda come down the hall. "You get lost?"

She chuckles, and I look around myself, not really sure where I am all of a sudden.

"Elevators are that way."

Flicking my eyes to the opposite end of the hall, I sigh, shaking my head.

"I…Yes, sorry. I was…just checking on something."

Linda walks up, putting a hand on my shoulder with her brows furrowed. "You all right? You need to be on your game for this."

I shake my head again, meeting her stare with a confident smile.

"Of course. I'm fine." Nodding once, I walk with her past the nurse's station again and drop off the clipboard. "I'm perfect."

"All right, then." Linda smiles. "Let's do this."

* * *

"Hey, doc. How was work?"

Luke smiles at me from the driver's seat, and I slip inside the vehicle. I'm quiet as he pulls away from the curb.

"Clara." Luke reaches over across the console, taking my hand. "You okay?"

"He died on the table. His heart just…it was done."

I'm not even really aware of what I'm saying. Words are just falling out of me like vomit or something.

"Hey." Squeezing my fingers, Luke rubs his thumb across the back of my hand. "I'm sorry. I'm sure you did everything you could."

"Yeah."

We hang in silence for the rest of the drive until Luke gets us home. Security thoroughly inspects us and the garage before he pulls inside and parks.

It's pretty normal now—to be waiting on security to ensure the area is safe.

God, I hate it.

When we're back in the penthouse, Luke takes me into the kitchen and hands me a glass of water.

I'm still so numb from the stress, and my hands don't react for a moment to take the cup.

"Thanks."

Taking a sip, the cool liquid slides down my throat, anchoring me to reality.

My shoulders are so tense, I can see the fight for that man when I close my eyes, and worse, I can see all the fleeting moments of panic from today.

The janitor, that patient Callum King, running into the man in the hall, everything weighs on me, reminding me what an anxious fucking wreck I am right now.

"Hey." Luke's voice pulls me out of my thoughts. "What can I do? How can I make this better?"

Meeting his eyes, I know I just want out of my head. I need to feel something else.

I pull Luke against me, letting him pin me to the counter. "Distract me. Make love to me."