Chapter 7

7

T hank God, baby Willow is in my arms. Nothing grounds you like a sweet, little human who you love with every fiber of your being. Because Wren's words about me swearing off women and not being interested enough to look at Estlin's amazing rack if she had put on that tiny suit made me feel like a monster. Because I would have looked. And I'm positive that what I would have seen would have made me hard.

Which is why there is no way in hell I was going to let her put on that suit and splash in the water. It's also why hiring her as our nanny is a bad fucking idea. I'd have to learn how to be unaffected by her when just the hint of her smile or those blue-green eyes on mine gets my pulse racing.

Estlin follows me inside without argument. For once, her backtalk is held at bay, and she's obeying me in a way I didn't expect her to. It fills me with a sense of calm, a sense that she can be reasonable when I need her to be. She wants this job badly enough to follow me without fighting when fighting feels like her baseline.

I'm still anxious to talk to Katy and hear her thoughts on everything, but that will have to wait until she's gotten some sleep. She may have shown up exhausted and busting my balls, but I saw her face. I listened to her and watched as she interacted with Estlin. She likes her. And Katy liking her means as much to me as Rory liking her does, since Katy is one of the few people I trust myself fully with.

She would have let me know in her way if she didn't think Estlin was right for the job.

I remove my sunglasses and grab my regular glasses off the counter in the kitchen, slide them on, and keep walking, only to pause at the sound of Estlin's voice.

"Whoa! Is that a game room?" Without waiting on me, Estlin walks straight into my game room slash man cave. It's adjacent to my office, and it's the one room in the house Rory is not allowed in. "This is awesome."

Her gaze flitters about, a look of awe on her face as she takes in my pool table, air hockey table, bar, card table, sectional sofa, large-screen TV, and finally over to the dartboard in the corner. A smile bounces up her lips, and she throws me a side-eye.

"Now I know why you were good at darts last night." She walks about the room, touching everything with a soft cascade of fingers as she goes. "This is a hell of a bar setup." She takes in the two large wine refrigerators, beverage refrigerators, and the glass shelves stocked full of alcohol. One day, when Rory is older, I'll have to do something about that, but not yet. "Damn. You have at least one of everything." She spins around and gives me a cheeky look. "Care to play for it?"

My eyebrows jump, and I shift my stance, keeping my distance from her. "Play for what?"

"The job," she throws out, as if that should have been obvious. "We can do a blindfolded bourbon taste test or play a round of darts. If I win, I get the job. If you win, I leave. "

"Tempting," I tell her, only to glance down at the baby in my arms. "But I don't quite see how that will work."

"Shame. That sounded pretty fun. And obviously, I'd win, so that was in my favor." The look on her face isn't intentionally flirty or mischievous. Not the way it was last night. But I can't help but remember the same sparkle in her eye when I told her I wanted to take her to a hotel and spend the night with her.

I turn and walk out, already knowing what I'm about to do next is crazy and stupid, but lacking a solid reason not to do it other than my own shit. "You'll have full access to everything on the property," I start, talking as I walk through the back of the house. "That includes the kitchen, outdoor grounds, exercise space, indoor pool and sauna—those are in the basement and require a code to get in—media room, and anything else except my game room without permission and my office."

Estlin clears her throat behind me. "Are you hiring me?"

I cradle a sleeping Willow tighter against me as I wind up the stairs. "You were the one who told me that I better have a good reason not to hire you. It turns out, I don't. My daughter likes you. My best friend likes you. Your brother is one of my closest friends, your mother's goddamn art is hanging over the fireplace in my living room, and your godmother is my aunt. So yes, much to my dismay, you're hired." I pause and throw her a fleeting glance over my shoulder. "If you still want the job."

Estlin scoots around me as we reach the second floor, standing in the long hallway that traverses the entire house. For a second, she focuses on Willow, fast asleep and tucked against my chest, and then slowly drags her eyes up to mine. "It's impossible to have a real conversation with you when you're holding a newborn. I feel like it puts you at an unfair advantage."

"Willow never sleeps when she's around Katy, and therefore Katy never sleeps when she's around her. Willow smells her mother's breast milk and can sense her presence. She also knows that the moment she starts to fuss or cry, either her dad or her mom will come running with some sort of comfort for her, usually in the form of milk or snuggles. That's how babies are. But when I take her, I don't have milk for her. I just have a warm chest that she can sleep against, so it gives her parents a much-needed break."

Estlin does a long, slow blink, and then another. "So…" Another blink, this one both appreciative and puzzled. "You took the baby so Katy and Willow could sleep since they can't seem to do that with each other nearby?"

I nod. "Yes. I am a pediatric surgeon. Believe it or not, I do understand and like babies. Especially this one."

"You're the most mercurial man I've ever met. Nothing like the Owen from last night, though now after meeting you, I understand the reason for the hotel." She tilts her head, studying me. "I wonder which is the real you."

"Both," I answer somewhat honestly. "Only the Owen you met last night has no place in my real life, so you might as well get used to this version of me. Especially since I can never be that Owen with you again."

"I liked that Owen. He made my panties wet and my nipples hard and got me to say yes to something I never say yes to but needed badly."

I choke and take a step back. While trying not to look down at her nipples. Or remember what they taste like.

"Sorry." She laughs, brushing the long strands of her hair back from her face. "That's inappropriate. I just didn't expect you to be so… many different things. I guess it's a good thing you're not that Owen often."

"Because he made your nipples hard and your pussy wet?" I have to ask as I finally succumb and look. And yes, her nipples are hard, straining through her lace bra that sits beneath her thin T-shirt. And her tits. Fucking hell, she has the most sensationally gorgeous tits .

I clear my thoughts and focus on the baby in my arms instead. The other reason I brought her with me. So I wouldn't be tempted by the fucking temptress before me. If she's to be Rory's nanny, then I can't see her as anything but. Only my cock hasn't quite gotten the full hang of that yet, despite the little bundle asleep against my chest.

She shrugs, but I can tell by her tone and the look in her eyes that she knows I just checked out her tits and that I liked everything I saw. "Actually, because that Owen stole my panties, and I kind of liked that he did."

An incredulous laugh bursts from my chest, stirring poor Willow for a moment.

"But don't worry," she continues. "Since that was Owen, my hot one-night stand, and not Owen Fritz, my surly new boss, it won't be an issue. Let's keep going."

"Friday night is over. This is now."

She holds her hand up apologetically. "I totally agree. My apologies for even mentioning it."

"But since we're mentioning things we shouldn't be, your ex is a fucking moron, and I loved every inch of your body last night and wouldn't change a thing about it."

Her eyes bulge, and her lips part. She needed to know that because she's the sexiest fucking woman I've ever been with, and I hate that someone made her feel like she wasn't. Which only makes this worse.

I clear my throat. "But if you want this job, you can't talk about your nipples again. Or your pussy for that matter. And you can't wear bikinis like the one Wren was trying to put you in. You can't bring men home either. And when you're working, you're entirely focused on Rory and no one else."

"Okay. I can do that. So… you're hiring me?"

"Yes."

"Yay." She does a little excited hop and claps her hands. " That's great. You won't regret it. Carry on, El Capitan." She salutes me, and I have no idea what to do with this woman.

I can't kiss her. I can't fuck her. I can't even touch her again.

So instead, I turn my back to her and head down the hallway, pointing out important rooms like Rory's and the playroom, and then down to hers—the farthest from mine for a reason. "The gym is in the basement. I use it between four thirty and five thirty in the morning. Feel free to use it any other time." I watch as she heads into her room, taking in the lines of her king-sized bed, large dresser, walk-in closet, and full en suite bathroom.

"This is beautiful." She spins back to me, standing in the middle of the room. "How much do you pay? Jack never mentioned that."

"In addition to room and board—and by board, I mean you'll give me a complete grocery list every Sunday, and my housekeeper will get everything on your list for you—you'll be paid three thousand a month plus benefits."

Her eyes bulge from her head for approximately three seconds before she manages to rein her shock in. "That's… wow. That's great."

"With that pay comes big expectations and requirements. I'm a surgeon. That means I don't have a lot of control over my hours. I can't walk out of surgery the moment Rory's school calls me or if she's sick. I also work one weekend and two night shifts a month, and one of those is a twenty-four-hour shift. It sucks, and it's not ideal, but it's reality. That's where you come in. You're on call and at her beck and call when I can't be."

"So my art…"

"Is important. But if there's an issue during the day—however unlikely—and I can't get to her, you're the one who needs to. That said, my parents and all of her aunts and uncles, as well as my friends and cousins, are always willing to help out, so it likely won't be much of an issue. I will also provide you with a car because whatever you drive Rory around in has to be safe."

She sits on the edge of the bed, twisting her lip between her fingers and staring up at me with those large blue-green eyes. I hate how attracted I am to her. She's everything wrong for me and nothing I would have ever considered before, but now, it's as if she's a light switch that's been turned on and I have no clue how to turn it back off.

"So basically, I'm her person."

"Exactly."

"That doesn't sound too bad."

I walk across the room and stare out the window at the pool below, seeing Rory swimming with Jack and Wren. "She's a great kid. I should also tell you she was having behavior issues at her last school. Acting out in class and throwing some pretty nasty tantrums at home with me. I've switched schools, but I don't know if it'll make a difference or not. Her therapist says she needs more stability and routine."

"Or perhaps some control when she doesn't feel like she has much at all."

"Perhaps that too," I concede. "But that's why I'm doing this." I turn back to Estlin. "She's missing something I can't give her, but I'll do whatever it takes to make her life the easiest it can be." Willow squirms in my arms, and I rock from side to side, shushing her ever so gently so she goes back to sleep.

"Okay." She stands. "Thank you for hiring me and putting your faith and trust in me to help take care of Rory. I know it's not exactly what you want and that this didn't start off under ideal circumstances, but you won't regret it."

"I hope not."

She rolls her eyes at me and then heads for the door, and I stare at her back as she does. "I can start moving my stuff in tomorrow?— "

"Are you going to tell me the rest about the bad situation with your ex?"

She freezes at the threshold of the door, her hand going to the frame. Her head turns over her shoulder, and her eyes meet mine. "I wasn't going to, no."

For some reason that bothers me. I have no right to know. No right to ask. But that doesn't mean I don't want to.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she says, ending any further discussion on it and walking out.

"You stole her panties?" Katy explodes into a loud, incredulous laugh. "I'm dead. Like officially." She rolls back and forth on her back like she's having some sort of fit. "That's amazing. And so dirty. Who knew you had that in you?"

I poke her side. "Shut up."

"No, I'm serious. I never ever would have seen that coming. If someone asked me under oath if you were a panty thief, I would have sworn it's not something you'd ever consider. let alone do."

I turn on my side, running my hand over Willow's soft belly. We're in Katy's room. Or more like the room she sleeps in when she has sleepovers with me and Rory. Willow has officially gone through all four of the extra outfits Katy packed for her in her diaper bag, so now she's lying on a towel—I am not messing around—in only a diaper and a knit hat in between us.

My parents ended up coming over after Wren called them, and now, they're down the hall giving Rory a bath while I get alone time with Katy and Willow. Jack and Estlin left—thank God—and Bennett ran home to get Willow fresh clothes.

"I don't know why I did it," I admit, staring down at Willow, who's trying to figure out what her hands do. "Maybe to remind myself that I'm still human. Still a man. "

"But you did and it's awesome. I'm oddly proud of you. Did you give them back?"

I shake my head and peer up at Katy, fighting my smirk. "I didn't even admit to her that I took them."

She cackles louder this time. "This is just so good."

Katy is my person. My ride or die. My thick and thin.

Never once in her life has she judged me. Our love and friendship are unconditional. When my life fell apart, she was there. But not just offering consoling words or asking if she could do anything. She was fucking there . In my house. Playing with my daughter. Making me dinner with her shitty cooking. She didn't care if she was photographed. She didn't care what the tabloids said about her or me. She was there with me every goddamn step of the way and even testified in court on my behalf. There is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for her, and seeing her with Willow makes me so unbelievably happy.

Katy wanted a baby for a long time and has some chronic health issues that she wasn't sure would allow for one.

"What the fuck do I do?" I roll onto my back and throw my forearms over my eyes.

"Hey! Earmuffs."

I pull one arm aside, squinting at Katy in the dim lighting. I cock her an are you for real eyebrow. I snatch Willow and hold the tiny lovebug above me before I drop her down to my chest and kiss the top of her head.

"Katy, she's two months old. She doesn't know what that word means."

"Now you sound like Bennett. Yes, she's only two months old, but she's super smart, you know. A fast learner. How would you feel if fuck is her first word?"

I can't help my laugh-huff. "You realize you just said it, right?"

"Shut up. I was making my case."

"Okay, fine. What the fudge do I do about this? I hired her. She's Jack's sister. And she's young. When I met her last night, I thought she was more along the lines of twenty-five or twenty-six. She's freaking twenty-two. That's two years younger than Wren."

Katy scoots closer to me on the bed and lies down, rests her head on my shoulder, and plays with Willow's fingers. "You're talking like you're thinking about her as a woman."

That pulls me up short, and for a moment I stare sightlessly at the ceiling. "I didn't mean to. I just meant… hell, I did sound like that, didn't I? But I'm not. It was more to reiterate all the ways I feel like a dirty old man monster."

She snickers. "You're not an old man or a monster. Though after the panty-snatching, I can't say you're not dirty."

"Why do I tell you anything?" I bemoan, tossing one hand behind my head to angle myself up better while I use my other to hold Willow tighter. "She's the nanny now, and nothing more. Hell, even before I hired her, she wasn't going to be anything more. That's what last night was about. Sex. And then never seeing her again." Except now she's here, in my life, moving into my goddamn house.

Katy is quiet for a moment, watching me as I hold her daughter against my chest. Her fingers glide down Willow's back, and she makes a little screechy baby noise that has us both enthralled. "Did you have fun last night?" she asks softly.

I exhale. "Yes. I had fun."

"I think that's the problem, Owen. I think that's why you're struggling so much with it now. It's not her age or even the fact that she's Jack's sister. It's that you had fun with her. Before last night, when was the last time you had fun?"

Seconds tick like time bombs between us. "I don't know," I answer honestly. "I was a different form of myself last night. She even asked me today which version is the real Owen, and I lied and said both. The truth is, I can't remember the last time I was that guy. It's bothering the hell out of me. All day everyone told me not to be mean or such a grump to her because I'm a dic—penis and that's how everyone knows me now."

She smirks at my word adjustment. "Not me."

"You're different."

"They know you that way because you never relax. You never take it easy or take a break. You never allow yourself to have fun, and with that, yeah, you've turned into a bit of a penis." She adjusts herself, her head popping up, her face exploding into an I've just had the best idea expression. "Why don't you take Rory on a vacation? She has a fall break this October, right? Go somewhere. Go to Disney World or the Caribbean or take her sailing on Kaplan's yacht. Just somewhere. Away from here. A place where you both can relax and have fun."

I think about that for a moment. My uncle Kaplan, from whom I get my middle name because he delivered me at thirty-four weeks in the back of my uncle Oliver's car, is a master sailor. And with that, he'd take me and his son Stone out on the sailing yacht whenever he could. I could take Rory sailing on his yacht. I could teach her how to do that. Sailing was one of my happiest memories growing up.

"There's staff on the boat, so you wouldn't have to cook or clean. But…"

"But?" I quickly follow up.

"But it might be nice if you had extra help with Rory. So you had time for yourself too. So it wasn't just you parenting in a different location."

"Katy?" I warn, raising an eyebrow at her.

She shakes her head. "Aw, you're sweet to want to include me, but sadly, I'm unavailable. By that point, my maternity leave will be over, and I'll be starting a new trauma surgery fellowship."

"What are you doing?"

She smiles so sweetly, so innocently at me with those big, blue eyes of hers. "Telling you that you all need a vacation because you do. And I think you should take your new nanny. Not only will this give her bonding time with Rory, but it'll also give you free time."

I stare at her. "I can't tell if you're fu—dging with me or not."

"Not. I'm being serious."

I blink at her and then blink again. "I can't go away on the sailing yacht with Estlin." Her in a bathing suit. Us stuck together on the ship in the middle of the ocean.

But I also hear what she's saying. Rory needs a break, and so do I. We haven't left Boston since she was a baby. So long ago, she has no memory of it. I'd love to have the time with Rory. And having a nanny with us—someone who could watch her so I could relax and have some free time of my own—would be incredible because I rarely, if ever, get that.

But…

"You're trying to start a fire."

"Only a bad thing if you get burned by it."

I huff. And huff again. "Cut the shit, Katy."

"Earmuffs."

"Screw your earmuffs."

"Fine." She gives me a big, dramatic eye roll. "I'm only playing. Don't take Estlin, even if it's a brilliant idea."

"It's not a smart move. Not by any stretch. This only works for Rory and me if Estlin is the nanny and nothing more."

"Isn't that what you just said? That she's the nanny now and nothing more? If she were a sixty-year-old instead of a gorgeous twenty-two-year-old, would you not take her on vacation with you and Rory?" She waves me away as if the answer isn't important. "Whatever. If you don't want to bring her, then don't. But if you do, I don't see the problem. If you say she's the nanny and nothing more, then what's the harm of bringing her along?"

Yes. Estlin is the nanny and nothing more. I'm determined to make her so, which means I need to treat her the way I'd treat any nanny. And if she were any nanny, I'd likely bring her along, as Katy said. Ugh. I hate it when she's right.

Willow starts to cry, and Katy takes her from me. I fall back on the bed, taking off my glasses and rubbing my bleary eyes. "It's certainly something to think about."

"Good! I think it's exactly what you all need."

Maybe.

"First, let's see how Estlin's moving in and being Rory's nanny goes, before I make any vacation plans for the three of us."