Chapter 5

5

T he woman already drives me crazy. She gets under my skin and fights back at me in a way no one other than my family ever does. Now we're stuck in this mess, and this mess has the power to consume us both. Why she wants this job, I don't understand. There have to be plenty of other nanny jobs she could find. Why does she have to want this one badly enough to fight me for it?

"Did you make them disappear so you wouldn't have to hire me?" she poses when we reach the kitchen and find it empty. Rory cleared her plate, her dish on the counter by the sink.

"If only it were that simple to get rid of you."

The edges of her mouth soften and tilt up into an alluring smile. "Nothing about me is that simple or easy," she retorts cheekily. "You might as well start getting used to that now."

I grunt. I'm starting to learn that the hard way. I loved the image of her I saved strictly for my fantasies. She was safe there, and I had plans to keep her there for some time. Except now everything is different, and I cannot give what happened between us any room to move or breathe within me.

Last night died the moment I learned she was my best friend's little sister.

That's how this has to go.

"Speaking of being easy, do I get my panties back, thief?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

She gives me a side-eye. "Hmm." Surprisingly, she lets it go at that, staring around the kitchen and down into the great room beyond. "Not that I want to compliment you, because I don't, but your home is extraordinarily beautiful. I love the architecture. All the rich, classical lines mixed with modern elements are stunning."

I think so too. It's why I bought it. But I don't bother telling her that or even thanking her for the compliment. "We should find Rory and get this over with."

It doesn't take long for me to guess they're upstairs in Rory's playroom. I can hear the thumping and banging through the ceiling, which tells me Rory is doing cartwheels.

"Follow me," I grind out, heading toward the back stairs that wind up to that side of the second floor. And just as I suspected, the moment I enter the playroom, Rory does a cartwheel straight over to me and then jumps, forcing me to catch her in my arms only to immediately wiggle out and go to her kitchen play area.

"Everything okay?" Jack asks, sitting on the sofa, legs crossed, his phone in his hand resting against his knee. Wren is at the art table, sitting on the bench seat that lines the back windows, her face and body angled toward the patio, grounds, and swimming pool beyond. It's oddly silent and tense in here other than Rory, who seems to have already played with one of every toy she has in here.

"Just getting to know each other," Estlin explains with a chipper smile. "We were going over some of the finer details of what we can expect from each other if this works out." She throws me a saccharine-sweet smile .

"And did you come to an arrangement?" Jack persists, looking hopeful.

"Not yet," I answer before Estlin can. "I have my reservations."

Both Jack and Wren roll their eyes at me.

"You always do," Wren accuses caustically. "How about you give your perpetual need for control and general dic—grumpy disposition an Ativan and just go with it for once?"

I open my mouth to lay into my little sister when Rory takes me by surprise and comes right up to Estlin. "Hi," she says.

Estlin bends until she's eye level with Rory. "Hey. I'm Estlin. You must be Owen."

Rory cracks a smile. "No. I'm Rory."

"Oh!" Estlin doinks her forehead with the butt of her hand. "Rory is a much better name than Owen." She throws me a cheeky grin and then leans into Rory, whispering conspiratorially in her ear. "My real name is Eddie." She pulls back, her face pinching up as if it's a bad word.

"Eddie? That's a boy's name."

Estlin laughs, her arms flailing about her. "I know! My mom named me after a poet and an artist. Both of them were boys."

"I thought you said your name is Estlin."

"That's my middle name. But you can call me either one you like."

"I like Estlin."

"Me too." She reaches her fist out, and Rory gives her a pound before she stands to her full height and looks around the room. "This is an amazing playroom, Rory. I have to say, I'm jealous you have a whole art space to yourself."

"You could use it too. If you lived here."

Hell. Did she have to just say that? I can feel Wren's smug grin from across the room, and I don't even bother looking over at Jack. Rory likes her. Of course she does because what's not to like? Estlin is young and beautiful and obviously good with kids.

There's no way I'll get out of hiring her. I'm not sure I could have even before she met Rory.

Estlin's eyes light up and she gives Rory a beaming smile. "Really? Wow. Thank you. An artist's space is a sacred place, so I appreciate your offering to share yours with me. I love art. It's sort of my thing."

"I like swimming and gymnastics."

Estlin meanders her way around the room, taking everything in. "I like those too. I could tell you like gymnastics because you did that perfect cartwheel when I came in. Do you take lessons?"

"On Thursdays," Rory hums with exuberance. "And I go swimming with my godmother Katy a lot."

"Cool stuff." Estlin turns back to her and skips right over to her. "I have a godmother too. You know her. Her name is Rina."

Rory's eyes light up, and she looks up at me and then back at Estlin. "My aunt Rina?"

Estlin nods her head. "Yes. Isn't that funny?"

Rory licks her lips and goes over and takes Estlin's hand, then walks her toward the back window.

"Still having those reservations?" Jack asks dryly.

I flip him off since Rory's back is to me as she shows Estlin the pool we have in our backyard.

"It's heated so the water is always warm. Do you want to go swimming? We could invite Katy and baby Willow to come. That's Katy's new baby. She's only two months old. She loves me a lot. I got her first smile."

Rory continues to tell Estlin all about baby Willow, and I sigh, my chest so tight it's impossible to breathe. Outside of my family, Rory hasn't taken to anyone since her mother left.

I don't know what to do with this. I already feel guilty just looking at Jack, but Estlin swore she'd never tell him or Wren .

It'd be our secret. Our past. One we'd never mention again.

But hiring her means moving her in here. Having her sleep down the hall from me. She'll cook in my kitchen and watch television in my media room. And I'll… I don't know. Keep my distance as best I can. Stay as professional as I can. Look at and treat Estlin as a nanny and nothing more. Forget all about the woman I met last night.

Yes. All of those things.

While pretending she's not the most stunning creature I've ever seen.

It all sounds so easy when I know it would be anything but.

"I think swimming would be so fun!" Wren exclaims, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Right, Owen?"

"What?" I scratch the back of my head.

"Rory wants to have Katy and her fiancé, Bennett over to swim and hang out. We can all barbecue. Oh, and have margaritas. I bet we can even get Katy to pump and dump. Lord knows that woman could use a drink."

"Uh." I shake my head, trying to take in what Wren just said. "Yeah. I guess we could."

Because I wouldn't mind talking to Katy about this. Not Bennett, though. Although I do trust Bennett, he's friends with Jack, and not only do I not want to put him in that position, if he ever accidentally slipped anything to him, I'd be a dead man. Plus, Wren is right that Katy could use a margarita and a break from her house. She's hardly left since the baby was born.

"Do you want to?" I ask Rory. "I can call Katy and see if they're busy."

"Yes!" Rory jumps up and down like the floor is made of lava. "You can come swimming with me and meet Katy and baby Willow too?" she says to Estlin, who suddenly looks unsure.

"I'd like to see baby Willow too," Jack offers, pulling himself off the sofa and joining Estlin and Rory at the window. "Bennett is my friend from way back, believe it or not."

"Perfect! Let's do it. I'll call Katy now," Wren says to me. "I need to run home and grab some swimsuits. Estlin, you can borrow one of mine."

Something quick flashes across Estlin's face. "Um. I don't think anything you have will fit me."

"Nonsense." Wren waves that away as she heads for the door. "I have one that I think will work perfectly. Rory loves to swim. Don't you, Moonshine? It'll be fun. I'll be back in like twenty minutes." Wren leaves without giving anyone else a chance to argue about any of this. The decision is made. And if I know Wren, which I do, she's already calling Katy before she even gets out the front door.

Jack whispers something in Estlin's ear that has her chewing on her lip.

What am I missing? "Do you not swim?"

She looks back at me. "I swim. I just… usually prefer to wear one of my suits." She clears her throat, evening out her features. "It'll be fine, though. If Rory loves to swim, I'd love to swim with her. And meet Katy and baby Willow."

"I could run home and grab you one," Jack offers, and still, I feel like I'm missing something. Estlin didn't seem the slightest bit self-conscious about her body last night—not that she should be. Her body is fucking perfect, curves and all—but I can't think of anything else it could be.

"I left them all in Paris," she answers quietly, and Jack continues to stare at her as if he's about to whisk her out of here.

"I could go buy you one."

My brows scrunch. What in the hell?

"Really," Estlin assures him. "It's all good."

"You're sure?" Jack checks .

She forces a smile, urging him to drop whatever this is. "Positive."

"What am I missing?" I finally ask.

"I want to go swimming now!" Rory races over to me, calling the attention back on herself as she tears off her dress, chucks it at me to catch it, and then immediately takes off for her room down the hall.

I drag my hand through my hair, not thrilled about any of this, but it seems the plans are already in motion.

"She likes me," Estlin calls to my back as I head for the door. "She wants me to stay and go swimming with her. She wants me to meet Katy and baby Willow and she offered to share her art space with me. Artists don't do that with just anyone."

"She's six, Estlin. Let's see how the rest of the afternoon goes."

"I forgot what a dick you can be," Jack states. "Part of me gets it. She's your kid, and you've both been through it. But Eddie's right. Rory likes her, and at some point, you need to get over your shit and trust people again."

I turn back to them, knowing they're already hiding something from me, and say, "When people are fully honest and not trying to have secret conversations right in front of my face, then maybe I will."

Without another word about it, I follow after Rory.

"What suit are you wearing, kiddo?" I ask as I enter her room and shut the door behind us.

"The shell one." She's already digging through her drawer, searching for her favorite mermaid bathing suit.

"Go potty first," I tell her, taking the suit from her hands.

She nods and races into her bathroom, partially shutting the door behind her. I sit on the edge of her bed, knees parted, elbows digging into my thighs, staring down at the floor. I pull off my glasses and let them dangle from my fingers for a moment before I put them back on. Here goes nothing.

"What do you think of her?"

I hear the toilet flush and the water turn on as she washes her hands. A second later, she comes out and stands expectantly in front of me, waiting for me to help her put on her suit.

"She's pretty and has pretty hair. I like the pink and blue. And she has an earring in her nose. Can I do that too?"

I shake my head. "No. Definitely not." I adjust the straps on her shoulders. "Not until you're thirty. At least." I pull her little body on my lap and wrap my arms around her. "Moonshine, other than her being pretty and you liking her hair and nose ring, do you like her ?"

I try to keep myself neutral, but even I can hear the hope she'll say no in my voice.

She searches my face, a frown tilting down the corners of her lips. "Do you not like her?"

Shit. I'm fucking this all up. And I need to stop. Estlin was right. It's about Rory, not about me. My distrust is too high. My lack of desire to bring someone into our home is even more so. I realize now that I had already decided, even before I knew it was Estlin and not Eddie, that I didn't want to hire someone.

It opens us up. It makes us vulnerable. And I swore I'd always protect my little girl after what her mother did to her.

But that's not what I'm doing right now.

I'm making her life harder because of my own mental hang-ups. I was taught growing up that being a Fritz is tricky. That people can be wolves in sheep's clothing and that our money and fame make us automatic targets for people to use and take advantage of. I didn't believe it so much. I had only surrounded myself with trusted family and friends.

And then I met, fell in love with, and married the wrong woman, and for the first time, I saw it all clear as day, in the most horrific of ways. But that's not everyone, and in truth, I don't think that's Estlin. I don't think that's why she's here or why she wants this job.

I clear my throat and tell my little girl, "I don't know her well yet. We just met her. But if you like her, I like her."

"I like her. She's fun."

I pull her into my chest and hug her tight, kissing the top of her head. "Okay. Then we'll spend more time with her today and see if she's the right person to be your nanny." And the Estlin I met last night will fade into oblivion. She'll no longer exist, and neither will that night.

"Do you think Katy will like her?"

That drags a reluctant smile to my lips. "I have a feeling Katy will love her."

"Good." Rory jumps off my lap. "Then I want to keep her as my nanny."

With that declaration, she swings her door open and races down the back stairs heading for the kitchen and the door that leads out to the pool. She won't go out without me, and even if she does, the gate alarm is on, and she hates the noise it makes.

I give myself a minute to wrap my head around the fact that I'm likely going to be inviting this woman into my home, into my life, and into my daughter's life, and once I think I'm somewhat resigned to it, I follow after Rory. Determined to make her happy, no matter the cost.