Chapter 20

20

" H ow do you feel about Disney World?" I ask Rory on our ride home. She woke up cranky, which is normal for a child post-op, and in true Rory fashion, immediately threw up. After sucking on some ice chips and managing to keep a bit of slushy down, she rebounded quickly and then asked when she could go home. She's sitting in her booster in my car, looking anxious and unsettled, with Estlin beside her.

"Disney World?" she parrots like the words don't make any sense.

"Yeah. You know, Mickey, Minnie, rides. You can still go on rides with your cast, and we've never been to Disney."

"Can I meet the characters?" she asks, finally perking up a bit. "I saw a YouTube video where you can eat in Cinderella's castle and meet the princesses."

A smile tugs up the corner of my lips, some of the tension in my limbs ebbing along with it.

"Absolutely. Whatever you want. I'll call Donna tomorrow."

"Who's Donna?" Estlin questions.

"Daddy's assistant."

"You have an assistant?" I catch Estlin's raised eyebrows in the rearview mirror. "How did I not know this?"

"Because Donna is not my assistant specifically. She's one of the assistants for my family."

Estlin snorts. "Oh, and how many assistants does the Fritz family require?"

Brat . "We have five. But, in fairness, there are a lot of us, and my grandparents alone require one. Think of all the charity and social events we attend."

"Okay, fine." She holds up a hand. "I'm pulling back my judgment. Especially if Donna can set Rory up with a meal with the princesses."

"Donna is magic," Rory explains to her. "At least that's what Daddy says."

"Because she is. So we're on for Disney?"

"Yes! Disney! I want to meet Belle and Elsa and Minnie."

"Great. It'll be fun, and maybe we'll go sailing in the spring."

"Will you come too?" Rory asks Estlin, who emits a soft laugh. She wasn't planning to come with us, but now everything between us has changed.

"Uh. I'm not sure."

"I'd love it if you came."

She throws me an eyebrow through the rearview mirror, and I rub my thumb along my bottom lip to hide my smile.

Rory is silent after that, and I don't push her. For one, she's exhausted and likely still feeling the effects of the anesthesia. For another, I have so many things racing through my mind right now, it's hard to figure out where one ends and the other begins.

I don't know what I'm doing with Estlin other than knowing that staying away from her is impossible. But I have a very strong suspicion I'm setting myself up for the fall of a lifetime. She wants this to be a fun, casual fling, and I'm not sure I have that in me. I ache with wanting her. It's been weeks and weeks of crawling, miserable, burning desire. So the thought of having her, of making her mine, has me so twisted up that I have no bearing on right versus wrong.

It's a dangerous game to play. One that could cost me everything, and no matter what, I'll likely lose. But at this point, as selfish as it is, I'd rather have her for however fleeting it may be, than not ever again.

Then there's her ex to deal with.

I've already sent Vander a text telling him I need to meet with him.

If her ex knows she's living with me, I need to know what he's up to and what his plans are where she's concerned.

But for now, I focus on getting my little girl home. She could use a bath, but considering her eyes are droopy and she's absolutely wrecked, I simply take her up to bed, help her get changed, brush her teeth, and tuck her into bed.

"Does your arm hurt?" I ask, sitting on the edge of her bed and running my fingers through her tangled hair.

"No. It just feels weird."

I lie down beside her and take her in my arms. "Are you okay?"

She snuggles into me and my eyes close. Tonight was terrifying.

"I guess so."

"It's okay if you're not."

"I know. You always tell me that."

I grin at her tone. "I tell you that because it's important you know that you don't always have to be okay. It's okay not to be okay."

She's quiet for a contemplative beat. "I was scared. I didn't like that guy, and I couldn't understand what he was saying. He talked funny. Whatever it was, it was mean to Estlin. I could tell. And then the car hit us, and I was scared again. It hurt a lot. Estlin made it better, but she was bleeding and…"

"You were scared?"

"Yeah."

"Wanna know something?"

"What?"

I adjust myself so she can see my eyes, even in the darkness of her room. "I was too. Really scared. All night, I was scared. It's also okay to be scared."

Her eyes fill with tears, and she hugs me, and for a few minutes, I hold her while she cries against me. My girl is always so brave. Always holds in so much. I can't remember the last time she shed any of that. I don't want to ruin this moment, but I also don't want to be the dad who pretends everything is great when it's not.

"You can talk to me," I say softly. "About anything. Anytime. Middle of the night or middle of the day, I don't care. I love you more than anything in this world, and no matter what, no matter what you ever tell me, that will never change. I'll always be here to listen and to help if I can. I hope you know that."

Slowly she raises her watery eyes to mine. "Do I have to talk about stuff?"

"No," I tell her. "You don't. But it helps sometimes when you do. If you ever wanted or needed to, you can always talk to me."

"Is Estlin ever going to leave us?"

Shit. That question. I lick my lips and tell her the only truth I know. "I hope not. But if she's ever not living with us as your nanny, she'll always be in our lives to some degree."

"Okay." A pause. "I'm mad I can't swim."

My lips twitch, and I kiss her head. She smells like the OR, and I hate it. "I know. It sucks."

She giggles through the end of her tears. I don't normally speak that way in front of her. "Can I say that?"

I smile, kissing her again. "Nope. "

"Not fair," she protests even as she snuggles closer, her body growing heavy.

"If you need me, call out for me and I'll be here. You're the most important thing in my world."

"I love you, Daddy."

My chest clenches impossibly tight. "I love you, Moonshine. So much. Forever and always and into eternity." I kiss her again, never wanting to let her go. Within minutes she falls asleep, and I slowly peel myself away, climbing out of her bed without disturbing her. She looks so peaceful, but I know her mind is still unsettled.

I set up her old baby monitor so I can hear her if she needs me, and I can see her if I need to, and leave her room. Heading down the hall, I hesitate outside of Estlin's door. She already said good night to Rory, and they talked for a bit before I came in. I should likely let her rest. She's been through a hell of a lot too.

I tap lightly on the door, and just before I'm about to let it go and head for my room, the door swings open, and there she is.

"Hey," she says softly, still wearing the same blood-covered shirt, and without thinking about anything else, I take her hand in mine and lead her toward my room.

She's crazy if she thinks she's only a lover. Only temporary. I don't know what I'm doing with her, and she's clearly not there with me yet, so I have to play this cautiously, but I have no intention of letting her go or giving her up. If that's what she needs for now, I'll do my best to play along given the circumstances, but I won't be able to maintain these pretenses forever.

"What are you doing?" she asks as I walk her straight through my bedroom and into my bathroom.

"Taking a shower with you."

Opening the glass door, I turn on the water to hot, flipping switches and nozzles until water sprays everywhere, filling the bathroom with steam. Estlin is eyeing me, but she starts to lift her shirt, and I stop her with my hands, pushing hers away and finishing the task for her. Her eyes cling to mine as I undo her pants and slip them along with her underwear down her hips and legs. I help her step out of them and then reach around her to remove her bra.

This is about her, but I can't stop myself from taking her in. From devouring every stunning inch of her skin. Reaching behind my head, I pull my shirt off and undo my pants. My cock springs free and then pulses when I see her staring at it with her eyes visibly darkening.

"You can't look at me like that."

Her gaze casts up to mine, a smirk on her full lips, as I lead her into the shower. "Why not?"

"Because right now isn't about that." I bring her under the water, and she sighs, standing in between the multiple streams. "This is about me trying to take care of you."

"Isn't that what I'm asking you to do?"

I grin and give her ass a little smack that makes it jiggle. I groan. I'm so hard for her right now, my dick could cut a diamond. Especially as water cascades down her body.

"I like your shower. Mine is pretty great too, but this is next level."

"You can use it whenever you want."

She throws me a squinty side-eye. "Don't tempt me with things I'll take advantage of."

I kiss a trail along her wet shoulder as I come in behind her, shampoo in my hands. She wiggles her ass against my cock, and I hiss out a curse. "Don't tempt me with things I plan to take advantage of."

"There's no fun in that."

I work the shampoo into her hair, massaging her scalp and making sure to avoid her sutures. She emits a soft, little moan, and I have to bite my lip to stop myself from responding. The way I burn for her is like nothing else.

"You keep doing that and I'm going to come."

She giggles. "You weren't so quick on the trigger last time."

"Behave."

"Joy sucker." She flashes me a look. "Oh! I could be that too."

I laugh. A real fucking laugh that has my shoulders shaking and my body relaxing.

"Thank you. I seriously needed that."

Her voice sparkles with laughter. "Same. Definitely same."

She washes out the shampoo, and then I'm back with conditioner, repeating the motion until she takes over for me. Her fingers glide through the silky strands, removing the last traces of the conditioner as I lather body wash in my hands and start on her shoulders and then down her back, massaging her muscles as I go.

"Owen, you're killing me with how good this feels."

My mouth comes to her ear as I reach around and massage her breasts and hard nipples. "Is it making your pussy wet?"

"So wet," she moans. "Oh, god. My tits are crazy sensitive, so if you're not going to fuck me right now, you seriously need to stop."

I squeeze them firmly before pinching both of her nipples and giving them a small pull. "Sweet thing, you were accosted by your ex and then in an accident where you hit your head."

She's panting. "All the more reason to live in the moment. Please," she begs, reaching around and grabbing my aching cock.

"You need to be fucked that badly?"

She nods against me. "I'll be such a good girl for you. I promise. I'll follow all the rules. Whatever you say. But please, I need to come."

"Hmm. How good?" One hand coasts down her front, over her soft belly to the top of her smooth mound as my other continues to play with her tits. She parts her legs wider for me, and my hand slips between them, gliding along her wet slit.

"I'm yours to do with as you please."

Fuck. She has no idea what that does to me. Her begging, her submission, her trust. It feeds my need to dominate and control. "I hope you know what you're asking for from me because if we go down that road, there will be no going back."

I swirl my finger around her opening and her knees buckle. "Good. That's what I want. Surprise me, Doctor. Don't hold back. Don't treat me gently. I want you to make me feel strong yet owned."

It's in this moment I know I'm already well and truly fucked. Because while she wants me to own her body, she already owns all of me. She is someone I won't recover from. A woman I'll always pine for even long after she's gone.

In a flash, I spin her around and press her into the marble wall. She shivers as my forearm hits the cold stone beside her head, and I lean in. With my eyes on hers, I shove two fingers inside her. Her back arches and her eyes close. Sweet, soft lips part with a whimper as my teeth scrape up her jaw.

"Don't you see how strong you already are? You don't need me to make you strong. You're doing it all on your own."

"Some moments I feel that more than others."

Isn't that the truth for all of us?

I start to pump into her, hard and fast. I'm going to make her come, and then I'm going to take her to bed. My bed. If only for a while.

Everything we're doing right now is wrong, but maybe that's part of what makes it feel so good.

She gasps, her hands clutching my biceps.

"If you want me to own you, sweet thing, I will. All of you will belong to me."

She doesn't say anything. She's too worked up. Too close. Her eyes are pinched shut, and her lips are parted to accommodate her extra breaths. Her wet skin is fucking rose-colored and brimming with heat. I didn't get to appreciate this the first time. We fucked in a dark hotel room. Strangers after a release.

Now everything is different.

My mouth crashes down on hers, immediately parting her lips and wasting no time kissing the hell out of her. Her pussy is so tight around my fingers, and I can't help myself as I rub my cock against her hip. I'm dying to be inside of her again. Twisting my wrist, my fingers find her front wall, fucking against her spot, and when my thumb finds her clit, she starts to lose it.

"Ah!" she cries, loudly and with abandon. She's pressed into the wall, her hands scraping at me, her knees bent. "Owen, holy shit. I'm right there. Don't stop."

I thrust my fingers faster, pounding them into her pussy and flicking her clit with tighter circles. It's messy and wet and noisy and I fucking love it. Her face is art, but I need to see her pussy as she comes for me.

Pulling away, I drop to my knees in front of her. Keeping my fingers where they are, I suck her clit between my lips before she can even open her eyes to figure out what the hell I'm doing.

"Oh fuck! Jesus, Owen."

Her hand dives into my hair, gripping the back of it and holding me tightly against her. I've missed the taste of her cunt, and because of that, I swirl my tongue inside her, gliding up along with my fingers as they continue to fuck her. She's barely hanging on, all words and curses and thrashing movements.

I keep my tongue inside her, fuck her deeper with my fingers, and then use my thumb to rub her clit until she comes. Hard. All over my mouth and fingers. Her screams echo off my bathroom walls, and I have to squeeze the base of my cock so I don't come on the spot .

Her body sags, sliding down the wall until her ass hits the floor in a heap. Her eyes are still closed, and she has the most gorgeous, sated smile on her lips. I pull my fingers out and paint her lips with them. She licks them reflexively and then grabs my hand and drags them inside her mouth, sucking them as I know she'll suck my cock.

I groan and throb.

Her eyes blink open, and I wipe some of the wet strands back from her face, making sure her stitches are clear and intact.

"Hi, beautiful. Where'd you go?"

"Someplace magical," she hums and then grabs my dick. "Now it's your turn."