Epilogue

Katy has thought I was going to propose to her half a dozen times already. She thought I was going to on Valentine's Day when I planned that romantic dinner and again when we went on our trip. I'm pretty sure even before that when we went in for our twenty-week fetal survey and again at dinner with our families.

Hell, anytime I take her hand, I feel her tense, thinking I'm about to drop down onto one knee and pull out the giant diamond ring I've been carrying around for the last three months. It's why I haven't done it yet.

Katy coming back into my life was unexpected, and even though it's not my style, I want to try to be that for her. It's funny, I went from never wanting to think about marriage again to it being the only thing I do think about. Anytime I'm with her or I take her hand or I listen as she introduces herself as Dr. Barrows and not Dr. Lawson, I think about it.

I want my ring on her finger, my name as hers. I want the entire fucking planet to know that Katy is mine. Where I was filled with nothing but uncertainty before, I have never been more certain about anything or anyone in my life. Loving Katy meant giving up what I used to believe, but in doing so, I've found exactly where I'm meant to be.

Katy is going to take six weeks off after Willow is born, and I plan to take off three months. We have a plan. We have it all figured out. We've even slowly started doing some small things in her room. No crib yet. But I had it cleared out of furniture and painted to look like the ocean—that's what Katy wanted. We have a dresser with a changing table on top, a rocking chair in the corner, a daybed, and a small bookshelf. The bassinet is in the closet in the bedroom, assembled, but not allowed in the actual room yet because Katy is extremely superstitious.

These ten months with Katy have been the best of my life despite the crap with Cayden. Even now when I think about what he did, the lengths he went to trying to ruin my life, the obsession ruling his, I still have trouble wrapping my head around it. It turns out, those pictures of me having sex were from a camera he had planted in my old bedroom and the sex I was having was with my wife. To make it look authentic, Cayden had similar sex with some random woman he picked up.

Only, he did it at night, and that's what Katy noticed. That it was dark out and by that point, on that day, we were already together. Thank God my girl has an eye and mind for detail.

In any event, he's no longer an issue for us. He'll be in prison for at least three years, and after that, the restraining order will stand, and he won't be able to come near me or Katy or even the hospital.

Cricket has accepted a fellowship in Manhattan and has done nothing but brag about it since she secured it. I'm happy for her. But I'm also happy she's leaving.

My mom's cancer isn't in remission, and her doctor didn't seem to indicate that he believed she'd ever reach that point. He said if the two rounds of strong chemo couldn't get her there, he wasn't sure what would unless an amazing clinical trial came along, but right now, he didn't recommend that for her. The chemo seems to be doing its job well enough as it shrunk two of the tumors and stopped the third from growing.

I'll take whatever I can get with that and will never stop fighting.

They'll continue with chemo and radiation and gene therapy, and that's just how it's going to be until they find a cure.

But it's yet another reminder that life is short, time is precious, and you should always hold onto the ones you love with both hands. Speaking of…

I slide my hand around the front of Katy and cover her large belly, splaying my fingers wide, hoping Willow gives me a kick. I live for her fucking kicks. They're the beat of my heart. So is the woman in my arms. Katy stirs, but she doesn't wake, and maybe what I'm doing is cruel. It's barely four in the morning, but I can't wait another second.

"Katy baby," I whisper in her ear, her body reflexively shifting closer to mine. My chest thumps and my lips part into an automatic smile in response. I never used to smile the way I do with her. "I love you. You're everything I love."

Her hand covers mine, and her warm ass sinks against my stirring cock. She slides my hand until I feel Willow's body moving, her tiny rump rolling over like I woke her up as well.

"Are you awake?"

"No," she murmurs, but I can hear the smile in her voice. "We're sleeping."

Since Katy hit her third trimester, her body has been struggling a bit. Her blood sugars are harder to control regardless of diet or insulin and her kidneys are fighting even harder than they had to before. The plan is to induce her at thirty-seven weeks—which is in three weeks—to give her body the break it needs and keep the baby as healthy as we can.

So yeah, I should let her sleep. I should wait another hour to wake her with kisses or my face between her thighs. But when a man reaches his breaking point, waiting is no longer an option. It has to be now because now is how we'll start forever, and I can't wait any longer to have forever with her.

"I was wondering if you wanted to marry me?"

She stiffens—as I knew she would—and then slowly twists until she's on her back, but that's not a safe position for her as it compresses her vena cava, so I take my pillow and slide it under her back, so it tilts her more on her left side and facing me.

In the darkness of the room, she blinks her pretty blue eyes open and stares up into mine. "Did you just?—"

"Ask you to marry me? Yes. I did. But before you say no, hear me out."

"If I must."

I try not to smirk. "Katy baby, you changed my life. When I'm with you, you see me, and I see you. We see each other, and we love everything we see. Even the not-so-great stuff, we still love because it's part of what makes us who we are. That's not something you find every day. That's rare and special and the stuff of meant to be. I've always been in love with you. You are my partner, my best friend, my lover, my heart. And I don't want to live another day without you as mine." I climb on top of her, pressing my forearms into the pillow on either side of her head. "Marry me, Katy. Not for the baby, but for us."

Her gaze flickers back and forth between mine and then she freezes, her body going stiff once more. In a heartbeat, she shoves me off and scrambles to sit—scrambles to flee—and my heart plummets. She shoots out of bed and heads straight for the bathroom.

"Katy?" It's all I've got. This is not the reaction I thought she'd have. I'll be honest. I wasn't sure she'd say yes. I mean, not a hundred percent anyway. That's part of the reason why it took me so long to get here. I've heard her say on more than one occasion that she doesn't need to be married. That it's not an important component of her life and happiness.

"Bennett, I think my water is leaking," she calls out to me, and now it's my turn to scramble out of bed, chasing after her into the bathroom. She's sitting on the toilet, her eyes wide and her lips parted to accommodate her extra breaths as breathing has become impossibly hard.

I sink into a crouch in front of her and take her hand. "Are you sure?"

"Fluid is straight up leaking out of my vagina and into the toilet and you're asking me if I'm sure?"

Touché. "I'm going to call your doctor's office and let them know we're on our way to the hospital. Don't move. Just stay there and keep your body relaxed. Are you having any contractions?"

She shakes her head, her chin trembling. "It's too soon."

I press my forehead to hers. "Thirty-four weeks is early, but a lot of babies are born at thirty-four weeks and do just fine."

"Owen was thirty-four weeks."

"See. Exactly. Just breathe. It'll be okay."

She gives me a shaky nod, her eyes welling up with tears, and my heart breaks. I kiss her forehead. I kiss her lips. I don't want to leave her like this, but I have to.

"I'm going to get dressed and grab you some clothes. I'll be right back." I cup her jaw. "Okay? Are you with me, sweetheart?"

"I'll be here."

I plant another kiss on her forehead, my lips pressing in with desperation, and then I release her and fly through the bedroom like the psycho I feel like. I'm a trauma surgeon. Working under pressure is what I do best, and I typically do it without breaking a sweat.

Except I'm fucking sweating now.

It's like I've never dressed myself in my life. I don't know what to put on. What I'm supposed to wear. I end up throwing on a pair of joggers and a white T-shirt. As for Katy's clothes, I'm at a loss. I simply stand here, staring at her drawers and hanging things in her closet.

"Bennett?"

"Yeah?" I yell back as I scratch the back of my head, stranded in my indecision.

"Grab me the black dress that's hanging all the way down at the end in the closet. Beneath it on the floor is my bag. It's already packed."

My head flies left and sure enough, there's a short, black sundress that I think she's worn as a beach cover-up, and beneath it on the floor is a zipped duffel bag. This is why women rule the world and our lives. They're on top of their shit while we're still floundering, hot messes.

I snatch the dress and the bag, along with her flip-flops, from one of the shelves and then race back into the bathroom. Katy is naked, her wet underwear discarded, and I start to put her dress over her head when she smacks my hand away and snatches the dress from me.

"What are you doing? I'm in labor, not incapacitated."

I scrub my hands up and down my face. "Shit. I'm a mess."

"You are. But I love you for it. Go put on shoes and call the hospital. Also, can you please call my uncle Cal and let him know what's going on? I won't bother anyone else yet until we know more."

I cup her chin and tilt her head up until she meets my eyes. "I love you. Thank you for being you right now." I kiss her lips and then race out of the room to make the phone calls and put on shoes because I'm nearly positive I would have left the house barefoot if she hadn't mentioned that. Twenty minutes later, we're entering the hospital through the emergency department. And because Katy is essentially a celebrity in whatever hospital she goes to in this city, a team of doctors and nurses greets us.

Endocrinology, obstetrics, and emergency medicine are all geared up. Katy hasn't had any contractions yet, but the moment they wheel us into a room to do a baseline check on her before sending us up to OB, her contractions start.

"Katy, we're going to get an IV going in you immediately and give you a dose of steroids to help the baby's lungs along. But if you're already having contractions and your water is leaking, the steroids might not have enough time to do their job before you deliver."

Katy nods as she watches the nurse put in the IV. "I know," she says softly, her other hand clutching firmly to mine. They get her fluids going along with a dose of betamethasone, and after doing a quick check of the baby's heart rate along with Katy's cervix, they decide to move us straight up to labor and delivery instead of keeping us down here.

We reach the elevator, the doors open, and the moment they wheel her on, I stop, backing out. "I'm going to take the stairs."

"What?" everyone asks in confusion.

"I'm not risking us getting stuck."

Katy smirks at me. "Probably a good idea. The last thing I want is to deliver our baby in here."

"I'll see you upstairs."

She nods, and the doors start to close. "Wait! Bennett?" I shove my arm in, making the doors jar back open and the elevator ding loudly. "Before this all gets going or if I do happen to get stuck… yes."

I tilt my head, my eyebrows diving into a V.

"I'm saying yes. To the question you asked me this morning when you woke me up. My answer is yes."

I fly onto the elevator, not caring at all about the audience watching us, and take her face in my hands. "You mean it?"

"Hundred percent. I would have told you that this morning, but, well…" She trails off and points down. "We got interrupted when my vagina started leaking."

"We did. I had a lot of things planned for her this morning after I made you say yes to me."

She smiles against my lips. "Now it'll have to wait."

"I'll wait forever." I kiss her as deeply as I can, holding her as tightly as I can. "You know, I had originally planned to stop an elevator and propose to you like that, but your uncle told me when I asked him for your hand that you'd definitely say no to me if I had done that."

"He's right. I would have." She smacks my shoulder, making me laugh. "You asked my uncle for my hand?"

"Yup." I wink at her. "I'll see you up there, Dr. Lawson."

My teeth drag her bottom lip, and then I get my ass out of the elevator so she can get upstairs where she needs to be. I fly up the steps, taking them two at a time, joy like I've never experienced before coursing through me. That is, until I reach the fifth floor, get myself past the front security and into the patient area, and find Katy in a ferocious amount of pain with a new contraction.

My lungs empty, and my heart seizes. I hate seeing Katy in pain. I hate not being able to make it better for her. But God, is she fucking strong and tough. She hums through the contraction, gripping two of my fingers as they walk her down the hall and bring her straight into a room. The nurses get her changed into a gown, situated on her bed, and hooked up to monitors.

And for a little while, time seems to stand still. Contractions and taking walks down the hall and massages and helping her through the pain. Eventually, she gets an epidural, and her people come and go, offering hugs, jokes, and support.

Only then it happens. Her labor stalls and the baby starts to go into distress. In a whirlwind of motion, Katy is whisked off to the OR, and I'm tossed a pair of scrubs and a scrub cap to put on. I change in a nanosecond, masking up and running straight for the OR.

"Stay up by her head. No watching," the doctor instructs me, but for the first time in my life, I have no interest in watching the surgery. I'm up by Katy's head, both of us silent and scared, my arms wrapped around her, my forehead resting against her temple.

I don't pray often. Hardly ever. But I'm praying, and I'm praying hard now.

Not even two minutes later, we hear it. A small, wispy little cry. It's the sweetest goddamn sound I've ever heard, and both Katy and I break down, instantly crying along with our tiny little thing.

I kiss Katy's wet cheek and stand, watching as they work on our little girl. "My heart will always love yours. My heart will always know that yours is the one it beats for."

She gasps and cries harder. "I love you so much."

"You have no idea, Katy baby. True love wasn't born before I met you."

They're bagging Willow up, giving her extra oxygen and some medications to get her heart going faster. I hold Katy's hand, unable to move or speak, when every instinct I have is to run over there and get my little girl where she needs to be.

"Five-minute APGAR is six. She's doing well, Mom and Dad. You can take a breath now."

The nurse swaddles her up, sets a pink, blue, and white hat on her head, and then she's placed in Katy's arms.

"Welcome to the world, Willow," Katy whispers, her voice hoarse. "You're everything we've always dreamed of. Who knew something that started out so undeniably convenient would turn out like this?"