Chapter 25

My finger pumps in and out of her ass, and my cock jerks, begging to replace it. "Don't move," I command, my voice gravelly.

I slide my finger out of her and walk into my closet, searching for a tie to bind her wrists with. I'm so amped up, I have to take three calming breaths just to get my shit back under control. This woman. This fucking woman is finally mine. And everything I'm doing with her now, she only wants more of.

For the first time in my life, everything feels perfect.

With that, I can't help the foreboding sense of doom that follows, shaking my muscles and zapping me with a twinge of fight or flight. The notion that I don't trust that anything good in my life will keep or keep for long—since that's how it's always been—is unshakable. Still, I do my best to put it behind me and focus on what I'm here for. Katy. A silk tie.

My cock slaps my lower abs as if to say, yeah man, get your head back in the game, and let's get this going. I grab one of the few ties I own that I never wear and head back into the bedroom where Katy is, chest down, ass in the air, unmoved. Perfect.

I reward her by trailing tender kisses up her spine as I help her to stand. "Good girl," I whisper in her ear as I lift her once more and set her on the bed.

Crawling on, I shift her to the center and remove her shirt and bra. My eyes rove over every inch of her, and my cock gives another jerk at the thought of all the ways her body will change in the coming month. How beautiful she'll be with her belly large and swollen with our child moving around in it.

My hands slip around her wrists, and I run the cool material of the tie down one arm and then up the other. She shivers, his eyes dark and glazed in lust. "If you need me to stop or you don't like something, tell me."

"I will."

Warmth slithers around my heart and fills in all the gaps and chipped-away pieces. Her trust is a salve. Her love restorative.

Taking her wrists in the manacle of my hands, I draw them up to the slatted headboard and then go about tying her up. I've never done this before, but I can't deny the thrill racing through my blood at all the firsts and lasts I'll have with her. After checking her circulation, I capture her lips with mine, kissing her wildly and with feverish abandon.

The moment she starts to grind up into me, seeking more I pull away, giving her a warning look I know she'll never heed. Not my girl.

Shifting between her thighs, I trail down her body, licking and kissing as I go. Her nipples are hard, and her skin is covered in goosebumps. I capture one nipple in my mouth, my eyes casting up to hers as I do. She is a goddess—a fucking siren—all tied up and wanting, waiting to see what I'll do to her next.

My teeth drag along her pebbled flesh, alternating between each one, squeezing and playing with each of her fantastic tits. Just as I have her squirming on the bed, I continue lower, kissing and worshipping her belly. Holy hell. Her belly. I can't help but stare at her in utter wonder. Our baby is growing in there. I never imagined I'd have this. Not ever.

My chest clenches impossibly tight, stealing my breath. I didn't know it was possible to love someone as much as I love Katy. My lips plant into her sweet, soft skin and I kiss her lower belly over and over again. Her breath hitches and I smile against her, knowing she's as overcome with all of this as I am.

Pulling back, I sit on my haunches. "Spread your legs for me, sweetheart."

I get a raised eyebrow as her only response before she brazenly and unabashedly spreads her legs, showing me everything I'm salivating to see. My cock surges, and without the ability to stop myself, I grab her by the backs of her thighs, lift her ass, and place my mouth over her dripping cunt.

Her back arches and her arms jerk, testing the restraints. "Ah. Jesus, Bennett. Your mouth."

My tongue swirls around her opening before diving in as deep as I can go. "I want to fuck your ass tonight."

She moans, her head rolling back even as she gives a jerky nod. I know she likes anal play. She's mentioned it before.

"But first, you have to come twice."

With that declaration, I start eating her like a starved man. Like a man so obsessed with his girl that he can't hold back another second. Her smell, her taste, her sounds, the way her body moves—all of them drive me wild. I can't get enough of her, and I know I never will.

My tongue rings her clit, swirling around and around. She's so responsive, so turned on, it won't take her long to come like this. I slip two fingers straight inside, quirking them up. And then I start to fuck her. Hard. All the while I play with her clit, alternating between sucking and flicking it.

She cries out, and her thighs close, plastering themselves to the side of my head. Her body is unable to handle the pressure of what I'm doing, and it has her dripping all over me. I groan into her, licking her more ravenously. I can't wait to feel it on my cock. But first, she has to come.

She clamps down on my fingers, rocking and rolling her body, fucking up into my face, seeking that high she's so close to reaching. I take one of my slick fingers, slide it straight into her ass while I suck hard on her clit, and she comes. Her moans fill the room, her legs a vice around my head, her body a trembling, quivering mess of madness and pleasure. The headboard creaks against the turbidity of her movements.

Just as she starts to sag, I lighten the pressure, but I don't stop. She bucks, trying to shake me off. She's sensitive, and I just gave it to her hard, but she's going to come again. I don't have lube, and I need her nice and fucking wet before I can take her ass without hurting her. And I refuse to hurt my girl. Ever.

"Bennett, I want you inside of me. Please. I need to feel you."

There's no way I can deny her, so I give her clit one last lick and then kiss my way up her body until I reach her face. I hover over her, staring down into her eyes. "Hi, baby."

"Hi." She gives me a flirty smile.

I touch her cheek and kiss her forehead. "Do you want me to untie you?"

"Not a chance."

"That's my good girl. I love you so fucking much, Katy." I devour her sweet mouth as I hike her legs up onto my shoulders. She starts to move, seeking me, needing to come again. I line myself up and slide straight into her, all the way to the hilt. A low hum emanates from my lips, and Katy's eyes roll back. There is nothing like being inside of her.

I start to pump in and out in a slow tempo that leaves us both breathless.

I fuck her like this for a few minutes. Working us both up to the point of madness. To the point where we can't stand it another second and we both need more. Sliding my wet cock from her, I adjust her position and stare down briefly before my gaze casts up to hers.

I give her a wicked smile and then spit, letting it drip from my lips straight onto her puckered asshole.

"Ah! Oh, hell. That's seriously fucking dirty." She lets out a breathy laugh. "And hot."

I do it again, using my finger to move my spit around, pushing my finger in and out of her, getting her as wet and lubed as I can. And when she's ready, when she is panting and moaning and shaking against my finger, begging to be fucked, I put her knees back on my shoulders and work the head of my cock into her tight-as-sin ass.

In and out, a little at a time, pushing it slowly past the tight ring of muscles that work to keep me out. I spit again and gather some of her arousal from her pussy, making sure I'm wet and slippery. My lungs empty as I manage past her muscles and slide home, settling in deep and holding still to let her get used to me.

"You okay?" I grit through clenched teeth.

She gives me a shaky nod, and I have to kiss her. I have to hold her and touch her. In my wildest dreams, I never fathomed being with anyone like this. I had no idea all that I was missing in my life until Katy came into it. I was making do. Accepting the status quo and telling myself I was happy with not nearly enough.

But being with Katy is soul-quenching. It's fulfilling on a level I didn't know existed. Being inside her body is home, the beat of her heart is the sound I'll live and die by.

My hips slide back, and in our next breath, I start to pound. My fucks deep and endless. Our sweaty foreheads meet, and our eyes hold. It's the most intense thing I've ever experienced. Her lips part on a silent scream, and she jerks against her restraints. I grin and bite down on her lip.

"It won't be that easy, sweetheart. You're at my mercy. I can fuck you however I want, and you can't do anything about it other than take it."

She moans, her hands gripping the slats of the headboard. "So far you're not threatening me with anything I won't beg and plead for. Now fuck me and show me how hard you can make me come with your dick in my ass."

Holy hell. I wheeze out a laugh. This fucking girl.

"Let's see how much you can take." With that, I let go. I succumb. I give into every depraved corner of my mind, knowing she can take it and then some. With her knees on my shoulders, she works her hips, meeting me thrust for punishing, pounding thrust. She's impossibly slick and hot and so goddamn tight I can hardly make sense of it.

Sweat clings to my hair and back with my exertion. I grip her ass in one hand and suck the thumb on my other hand into my mouth. Using the wet digit on her clit, I rub it in vigorous circles.

"Ah! Yes. Oh my god, please yes. Don't stop. More."

I'm not sure how much more my body can take, but I fuck her with everything I've got while I work her clit. Her body trembles, her legs tighten against me, and she starts to scream and thrash. The tight fist of her ass robs my breath, and I fuck her through her orgasm, unable to tear my eyes away from her for even a second.

The moment she starts to come down, her body relaxing, I pull out, wrap my hand around my cock, and with two jerks, I come all over her belly and tits. Low growls and grunts spill from my lips along with her name.

I collapse beside her in a heap of sweaty exhaustion. Half-dazed, I reach up and untie her wrists. Her arms drop, and she rolls her wrists to work blood back into her limbs.

Gathering her arms in my hands, I massage her flesh and check for any red marks. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

"Oh yes. And I can't wait for you to do it again."

I kiss the corner of her lips as I roll onto my side and move her tighter against me. I bring my hand to the mess I made on her and start to run my fingers into it, rubbing it into her belly.

"What are you doing?" she asks, her voice tired and breathless.

"Marking my territory."

She laughs. "I think the bun in the oven already does that for you."

I smile, burying my head in her neck and pulling her against me. "Come on. Let's go shower."

Today ismy mom's first day of her second round of chemo. She got a six-week break after finishing her first round, and so far, the scans and blood work are promising. She's in good spirits despite lamenting over her bald head. The break was good for her, and I hate that she has to go through another eight weeks of this. Katy came with me for it, and it made my mom's otherwise miserable day better.

She took over reading duties for me, picking up where my mom and I left off in our current read. It's some sports romance both women seem to be loving, and I don't argue when Katy reads the sex scenes with exuberance. My mind is far too preoccupied to care or even pay much attention to it.

After my mom's chemo, we have our first OB appointment.

Katy is officially seven weeks along, but with her diabetes, her OB wants her to come in for some blood work and an ultrasound. Meaning we'll get to see our baby. Words can't describe the nerves and excitement swarming through me.

Katy offered to have my mom come with us, but I told her we'd have her do that with the next one. For the first ultrasound, I want it to be just us. Tonight, Katy is staying at Owen's place so she can have a sleepover with Rory and I'm going to stay at my mom's.

Other than that, it's been an incredibly quiet five weeks since we found out we're pregnant. Liz calls with less frequency. I haven't seen Cayden, and I have no idea if he's gone back to Minnesota or if he's still here in Boston. Frankly, I don't care. Cricket was only knocked from her high horse for a few days. After that, she was back to sucking up and snarking Katy any chance she got.

Interviews start next week for trauma fellowships, and I know Katy is anxious about them. We haven't talked much about it. She's preparing, but I also know she's worried about what her pregnancy will mean for her chances of getting it. And if she does get it, what will having a newborn do to her work?

To me, it's still too early to talk about it.

So much can happen between now and then, and we'll get a firm due date today. Once we have a better sense of how her pregnancy is going and how her body is responding to it, then we can start to plan.

Dana Farber is connected to Brigham and Women's Hospital where Katy's OB is—thankfully, it's not Keegan or one of her uncles or aunts—and as we walk, Katy holds my hand as she talks to Owen. We've taken more risks with each other outside of the hospital, though we're both aware anyone could see us at any time.

"Yes, I swear," she says, and then she laughs. "A little sugar won't kill her, Owen. It'll only kill me." She laughs harder. "No, that's great. You know me, I'll eat the hell out of all the pizza tonight. No, I don't have any weird cravings. At least not yet. My usual is perfect." She pauses to listen. "Obviously, we're watching The Little Mermaid." She snorts. "Dude, if you want to go out and, I don't know, pick up a woman for once in your life, go for it. I've got the little lady." Another pause. "Aw, you're cute when you're clingy to me. The three of us will have an epic pajama party, but at some point, you do need to venture into the world of sex again." She laughs. "Sounds good, my brother from another mother. Love you too."

She disconnects the call just as we approach the elevator and hit the button. "Why doesn't Owen ever go out?"

Katy glances up at me. "Owen's ex was a real piece of work. You should know what those are like." She gives me a hip bump. "Anyway, he does go out on rare occasions, but only for a night if you know what I mean. He's hesitant to bring anyone into Rory's life again after what happened with them. Not even a nanny, though trust me when I tell you he needs one desperately."

"That sucks. I feel for him with that."

The elevator doors open, and we step on and hit the button for our floor. The moment the doors close and the car starts to ascend, I take Katy in my arms and kiss her like crazy.

"I'm going to miss you tonight," I tell her. "But more than that, whatever this ultrasound shows, I'll always love you and that will never change. No matter what."

Her arms snake around my neck, and she kisses me back. "I love you too. And—" Her words sharply cut off as the elevator suddenly loses power and we glide to a stop. "What in the absolute fuck?"

Oh hell. Not again.

"You've got to be kidding me!" she shrieks and smacks my shoulder. "Bennett, what did you do?"

"Me?" I point to my chest. "I didn't do anything."

"Except the elevator stopped and doesn't have power. Again. It's not even the same goddamn hospital or elevator. How does this keep happening to you, and why are you dragging me down with you?"

I throw my arms up. "I have no idea. I honestly don't. I'm clearly elevator jinxed."

"Four times! Who gets stuck in an elevator four times? Why do you even bother riding on one?"

She has a point with that. It is a bit ridiculous at this point.

She spins around and starts to pace, her breath quickening. "You are never getting in an elevator with our baby. Ever. Why is this elevator so small? It's a hospital. Elevators in hospitals are supposed to be big. No gurney could fit in here."

"This is the office wing. The elevators are normal size."

She throws me a menacing glare. and I redirect.

"Relax. It's going to be fine, baby. I'm sure it'll come back on in a moment."

"Relax?" Her arms flail about. "I'm stuck in another fucking elevator. I was just getting to the point where I didn't think about getting stuck when I got on one, and now this."

I pull her back into my chest and hug her to me. "Yes, but this time at least there's emergency lighting."

"Oh, goodie fucking gumdrops. Emergency lighting. There is no Keegan this time." Her eyes spark with realization. "Oh! But there is a Kenna. Kenna works here." She slips her phone from her purse and calls Kenna, who picks up quickly. "Hey lover, is the power out in the hospital?" She listens for a minute, sighs, and then throws me another one of her death glares. "Fabulous. So the man I decided to make the father of my child is elevator jinxed." She starts pacing again, one hand on her hip, the other holding the phone to her ear. "We're stuck in the goddamn elevator on the way to our appointment. I know! It's unreal. Yes, we're fine, if you don't take my freaking out into account. Great. Thanks, babe. We'll just sit here and wait." The last part comes out especially sarcastic and it makes my lips bounce. I have no idea why, but for some reason, I'm finding this ironically humorous.

Not to mention, as she was talking, I hit the emergency call button and texted the number on the panel. A message popped through immediately telling me that we'd be up and moving again soon. It's simply a small mechanical error that triggered the power outage for our car, but it should be fixed once they restart the system.

Katy is walking laps around the car, her hands wild and dragging through her hair as she mutters to herself.

"You doing okay over there?" I quip, my lips twitching when she flips me off. "Still love me?"

She grumbles under her breath, but I think she said something along the lines of, "Unfortunately, yes." More muttering before she stops pacing in front of me. "Admit it, you're jinxed."

I shrug. "I might be."

"I'm never doing this with you again."

"You've said that before."

She squints at me. "Yeah, well, I mean it this time, Buster. I never got stuck once until you came into my life."

My hands meet her hips. "Fair enough."

"Stop smiling at me like that. It's not funny."

It's not, and I feel bad she's panicking again, but for some reason, I can't help but find it so. "You're cute when you're panicking."

Her jaw drops. "That's seriously messed up."

I shrug again. "Possibly, but it's still true."

"Ugh." She shoves my chest until my hands fall away, and she starts to pace again. "We're going to be late for our"—the car jerks back to life and starts to move—"appointment," she finishes.

"Not anymore."

The doors open a half minute later, and I wave for her to get off first. She nudges my shoulder. "This is why people think you're a jerk, Bennett. You might want to work on that."

"Yes ma'am."

"Did you just ma'am me? Do I look old enough to be a ma'am?"

"Will I be able to say anything right?"

"Absolutely not." She sniffs. "At least not until my heart rate and blood pressure return to normal." Her body sags dramatically. "Ugh. That's going to throw off my vital signs in there."

"I promise, no more elevators for you, and we're safe and sound. Deep breaths."

"I'll give you deep breaths," she mutters bitingly.

Katy refuses to take my hand again as we enter the office. She's hell-bent on being angry and ignoring me, which lasts her all of ten more minutes until they take about ten vials of blood and we're brought back to the ultrasound room. Her vitals were fine, by the way. Just a slightly elevated heart rate as she recounted our elevator mishap to the tech.

Only the second Katy gets situated on the table, her anger and nerves switch gears. All her focus—and mine—goes to the machine on her right and the screen in the corner of the room.