Chapter 18

"It doesn't matter what he thinks he knows or doesn't," Bennett says, his voice ringing through the speakerphone as I dance my way around the kitchen, listening to music on Alexa while I finish my salmon and veggie stir-fry and clean up.

Bennett called to thank me for sending over dinner for him and his mom. Comfort food from her favorite deli. Sometimes being related to big people is awesome. I made a couple of calls, and now Paula has matzo ball soup and cheese blintzes, and Bennett has a Reuben and fries, which is what he ordered that morning we went out for brunch.

"How can you say that?"

"Easy, Katy baby. He's just jealous it's not him. If he thinks you have a new boyfriend, that's great. There's no reason for him to assume it's me. Besides, he doesn't matter. His loss will forever be my gain, and that's how I'll think of this. He doesn't know I'm the man you're living with or that I'm the one who gets to be inside you. You're mine now and not his, and I protect what's mine, so you have nothing to worry about. I'll take care of him."

I huff, not allowing myself to think about the way he calls me his. It's not the first time, and I know it's just his male possessiveness speaking. I'm fucking you with my dick and not my heart. Ripping off my shirt, I head upstairs, flipping off the lights and going into his room without allowing myself to challenge what I'm about to do. I start the water in his mammoth bathtub—my bathroom only has a standing shower—and let it fill up.

"I don't need protection from Zane. He's an annoying bug like Cricket is. I don't want you speaking to him or getting involved. It'll only increase his suspicion. I can more than handle him on my own."

He makes a displeased noise in his throat because he knows I'm right. "I don't want him near you. I want to break his fucking fingers for even trying to be. If he comes after you again while I'm there, I'll have no choice but to respond."

"Fine." I sigh, still unhappy but knowing it's not worth the argument. I walk down the hall into my bedroom and throw my clothes in the hamper. "But I don't like it."

"You don't have to. That's how it is and how it'll be." He pauses. "Your voice is muffled, and you're moving around a lot. What are you doing?" His growl hits my ear and I shiver, smiling to myself as I go back into his bathroom so he can hear the water splashing in the tub.

"I was getting naked," I tell him simply, setting the phone on the ledge of the tub and putting it on speaker. "You see, this guy sent me a candle at work today, and I want to relax in the tub while I light it and think of him."

"Fuck. Put me on FaceTime."

I balk. But only for a second. The thought of Bennett watching me in his house while I slip into a bath in his bathroom is so hot, I can't wait to see his face. It's funny. I don't even have to remind myself anymore. He's not Zane. He's Bennett. And Bennett is so much better than Zane.

I hit the button on my phone, and Bennett picks up almost immediately, his face there on the screen, his deep blue eyes wild, only to grow frustrated as he realizes I have the phone pointed up toward the ceiling.

"Hey there." I hover my face over the phone and smile down at him. "How's your mom?"

He's not amused. "She's fine. She's already in bed and kicked me out of the house."

"What?"

"You didn't bother to look, sweetheart. I'm in the car at a stoplight. My mom called in the nurse I had hired for her, and the two of them kicked me out."

"Oh."

He chuckles. "Suddenly not so brave now that you know I'm on my way home to you?"

"I'm bleeding," I remind him.

He shakes his head. "I don't give a fuck. Your period blood doesn't scare me. I want to watch you come. At least a few times."

I wink at him and give him a peek of my boob as a bonus for that. "Good to know, but I'm not ready for that with my boss. I think my only option is to get naked in his bathroom and take a bath. Alone."

"Katy…" His voice is so dark. So dangerous.

"Yes, Dr. Lawson. Oh," I moan, sinking into the tub. "That feels so good."

"You're a fucking tease."

I lift my phone and point it at my naked body visible beneath the water since I didn't add bubbles. "I might be. But I don't care. Tell me what you would do if you were here."

"What?" He licks his lips, taking in the view I'm giving him since the tops of my breasts are very visible to him.

I cup my wet breast, pinching and rolling my nipple. "What would your hand be doing right now? Tell me and I'll do it. Fuck me with your mouth, and I'll do it with my fingers."

"Christ. You're making me sweat. Spread your legs for me, sweetheart."

Water sloshes as I spread my legs, and the angle of the camera gives him the most sinful view of me. It's making me so freaking wet and excited. Being this naked—this exposed to him—should terrify me, but for reasons I can't explain, it doesn't. What we're doing has me more turned on than I think I've ever been.

"Now what?"

He shifts around in the car, the phone down on the center console as he drives, but I can see his profile glowing against the interior lights of his car.

"Now I want you to prop your phone up in a place where I can see you and use two fingers on your right hand to start rubbing your clit and use your left hand to squeeze and play with your tits. You can't be quiet, either. I want to hear you." He makes a noise of his own. "Why don't you have a vibrator?"

I laugh at his pained expression. "I do. I just hadn't planned on the dirty FaceTime. Would you like me to go and get it?"

"What does it look like?"

"I have a few of them. One is long and thin but angled for my G-spot. One is thick and plays with my clit too. The third is a bullet and is all about my clit."

"Fuck. Christ, I'm so fucking hard for you. Go get one of them. Your choice. I'll be home in three minutes to use it on you."

"Use it on me?"

He gives me a stern look. "Is that not what I said? Go now, and you'll be lucky if I don't spank your ass red for making me wait."

I shiver and inhale my moan because, fuck, he's talked about being dirty and rough, and he has been to some extent, but I think he's been afraid to fully unleash himself on me, so he hasn't pushed it too far yet. And I haven't pushed it either because the sex with him is already so good that if he gives me something extra like that, it'll only make me crave him more. His hand around my neck in the locker room made me come so hard I was seeing stars, and he barely squeezed. I want a bit of a strong hand. Someone to force and push me places I might not otherwise go.

But after the day I had and knowing he's coming home just for me… I want this too much not to play. Hell, I think I need it.

I wink at him. "Sit tight."

Quickly wrapping a towel around myself, I scoot out of the tub and bathroom and scurry down the hall to my room, trying not to slip on the hardwood floors with my wet feet. In my nightstand drawer is my small but mighty arsenal of toys. I close my eyes and grasp the first one my hand hits—my long, thin, angled guy I've named Chris after, well, all of the Marvel Chrises—then shut the drawer and quickly pad back down the hall and into the bathroom.

"I brought a friend," I announce, climbing back into the tub.

"Show it to me."

I wave the wand back and forth, turning it on so he can hear the vibration. "Now what, Doctor? Tell me what you want me to do next."

"Now lie back and run that over your clit to get yourself nice and wet. I'm pulling in the driveway now."

I'm already there. I don't need the vibrator to make me wet, but I do as I'm told anyway. Hell, right now with the way he's commanding me, I'd do anything he asked. I've never done anything like this before. I've never had phone sex, let alone video sex, and I've never masturbated in front of anyone and certainly not while using one of my vibrators to do it.

The vibrator pulses in the water, adding an extra layer of friction that immediately has my eyes rolling back in my head. "Fuck," I hiss.

"Tell me."

"It's a lot."

It's fucking intense is what it is, and I can't help the flush that rolls up my cheeks as I start to play with myself for his voyeuristic enjoyment. He has the phone in his hand, his eyes on the screen, and I hear the back door open downstairs and then shut. A few seconds later, the bathroom door opens, the hazy air momentarily fleeing until he shuts it behind him.

He crouches beside the tub, his eyes in the water before they dash up to my face.

"Oh, sweetheart. Look at you. You are goddamn gorgeous. Tell me how good it feels."

I slide against the tub, my eyes closing as I run the tip of the vibrator over my clit, moving it up and down and around in circles. "See for yourself."

He grunts and my eyes open, staring at him, his face above mine.

Strong lips claim me in a starving kiss, his tongue diving straight in and tasting each moan I give him. I reach up with a wet hand and tug on the back of his shirt. I want him naked. Now. I want him in the tub with me, and I want him to take control until everything else in my life fades. Zane, the fellowship, Cricket, getting my period, and not getting pregnant.

All of it.

He smiles against my lips, reaches behind his back, and pulls off his shirt. His mouth comes back to mine, his body bent in half as he works his jeans off.

I go for his hard cock, wanting to touch it, stroke it, suck it, but he pushes my hand away. "You have to come first," he pants against me.

"Are you going to jerk off?" I half-moan, glancing down at his rock-hard dick.

"Yeah. No way I can't."

"Can I watch?"

He licks his lips, his eyes blue fire as he shifts and shows me his hand wrapped around his long, thick cock. He jerks it for me, showing me exactly what this is doing to him, and I can't help it as I press the vibrator in harder against my clit.

"I wish this were you," I tell him, using my other hand to cup my breast and play with my nipple.

"Me too," he rasps, his voice hoarse. "Put it inside you now. I want you to fuck yourself with it while imagining it's my cock. Slowly at first. I like to build you up. Get you so crazy for me that you beg for more."

Hell. I'm panting. It feels so good on my clit, I almost don't want to move it away. "Jerk off."

"You want me to jerk off while you fuck yourself with your vibrator?"

"Yes. But I need it hard. Not soft. I'm going to make-believe it's your cock. Just as you said. I want to watch you too."

His eyes swirl the dark colors of midnight. He stares into the water as I roll the tip of the vibrator against my clit, moving it in circles and up and down until I get it just right. His jaw goes slack. "That is without a doubt the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life. Fuck, Katy. Wider. I want your thighs wider, and I want you to start fucking it."

"I'm close though," I admit, because I am. So close. "Please," I whine. "I'm so close."

"My girl needs to come?"

"Yes," I cry, my back arching and my knees hiking up and out as I move the vibrator faster. "Please, Bennett. I need to come so bad."

"Then be my good dirty girl and come for me, and after that, I want you to fuck it until you come again. I'm not going to come until you come on it, riding it the way you like to ride me."

Fuck! This man and his wicked fucking mouth. I don't stand a chance.

He grabs my tit and gives it a good, hard squeeze before turning the same attention straight on my nipple. My face pinches up as sparkles of light dance behind my eyes and I come. So. Hard. So hard with him watching me and encouraging me and telling me all kinds of things I can only half hear and pay attention to because I'm moaning so loud and splashing water around in the tub.

The moment I start to sag, he growls, "Put it in, Katy. Put the fucking vibrator deep in your cunt. You're not done yet, sweetheart and neither am I."

Sinking my teeth into my bottom lip, I slide it inside me a little at a time. In and out, going deeper each time I do it. Bennett's hand is moving briskly, and I change up the angle so he can see me fucking the toy better as I do. I'm utterly shameless as I grind against it, twisting it until it hits my front wall and G-spot so goddamn perfectly I practically scream.

I'm not going to last long, already feeling my second orgasm ready to break, and I tell him that. He starts jerking himself faster, harder, beads of precum soaking the head of his gorgeous cock, and I lick my lips, wanting to taste him. I haven't done that yet. I haven't gone down on him because I've been telling myself that going down on him is more than just fucking for making a baby. It breaks some of our boundaries, but looking at him like this, I don't care.

"I want you in my mouth."

His head falls back, and he pants out a rough breath. "I want that too. I want to do everything with you. I want to fuck and come in your every hole."

"Yes," I cry, plunging the toy in viciously. "I want this toy in my pussy while you fuck my ass."

"Jesus, Katy. You're killing me, sweetheart. I want every part of you I can get."

"Then fuck my mouth, Bennett. Fuck my mouth while I fuck myself. I want you to feel me moan against you because this feels so good I can hardly take it."

He doesn't need to be told twice as he grabs the back of my wet head and shoves his cock straight into my mouth until it hits the back of my throat. I gag immediately and swallow, and he lets out a low, harsh groan I feel all the way down in my pulsing clit. He starts to pump into my mouth as I pump the toy into myself. His gaze volleys back and forth between my face and the toy as if he can't decide where he'd rather look.

I do my best to flatten my tongue and relax my jaw and throat, but he's so big and powerful and his thrusts have tears running down my cheeks that his thumb comes up to wipe away.

"Do you want me to stop?" he grits out, and I shake my head because no, I don't want him to stop. I want to watch him come undone, and I want to know it's because he's losing his mind in my mouth. "If you do, hold up your hand and I'll stop."

I nod against him, using my free hand to cup his firm ass, so he knows he doesn't have to stop, and I have no plans to make him.

"My filthy, beautiful girl. God, how you make me crazy. I'm getting close, sweetheart. Are you with me? I need you to come with me."

I thrust the vibrator in faster, harder, my entire body humming from the toy and the sick, twisted pleasure of it all. I've never done anything even remotely close to this before, and I fucking love it. It's a high unlike any I've experienced. My gaze flashes up to his as his mouth falls open in a blissed-out gasp, his cheeks flushed, his hair all over the place, and his rock-hard abs flexing with every pump into my mouth.

Bennett Lawson is the sexiest man I've ever seen.

It's enough to push me over the edge, and the moment he sees it, feels how I'm moaning and crying out against his cock, he starts to come, shooting straight into the back of my throat with a strangled bellow. It's so freaking hot, it steals my breath and I come again, writhing all over the toy until I practically blackout.

Before I know what's happening, Bennett is sliding from my mouth and reaching into the tub to take the vibrator from me. He shuts it off, sets it down on the ledge beside my phone, and then picks me up and out of the water, cradling me against him.

"What are you doing?"

"Making sure you don't drown," he quips, kissing my forehead. He holds me against him, his blue eyes lazy and his smile sated. "You're incredible, Katy Barrows. Every part of you." A kiss to my lips and then he's wrapping me in a towel and walking me down the hall to my room. He sets me on the edge of my bed and disappears, only to return a few minutes later wearing sweats and holding a glass of ice water. "Are you okay?"

My limbs are mush, but I'm not sure I've ever been more okay than I am now, and I refuse to think that's related to anything more than the three massive orgasms I just had. "Fabulous. Aces over kings."

"Huh?"

I giggle lightly and clear my throat before I stand up and head to my dresser to find something to put on. "That was fun," I tell him, and he nods, his eyes still on me, though he's quiet now. "I'm going to read for a bit and then go to bed."

He looks as if he wants to say more, but I don't want him to. That was… well, it was amazing, but it also played with that line. That line we continue to play with.

The dangerous one.

The one that says even though we're working to have a nonromantic, mutually agreed upon baby, what we just did was more. It was personal and intimate. He may not be Zane, but this isn't the situation to start getting in over my head with him. The more pieces of myself I hand to him, the bigger the risk this gets out of control. If I don't stop allowing myself to get lost in him, there's a risk I might never be found.

"I'll see you at work tomorrow," I tell him, dismissing him.

He's still for a long moment, his expression wrought with indecision and something else. Something I don't dare read into or name. I ignore him, setting out clothes.

Finally, he clears his throat, takes a step back toward the door, and murmurs, "See you tomorrow. Good night, Katy."

"Good night, Bennett."

The next morning,with a heavy sigh, I step onto the elevator, twisting my body and cracking my back. I hit the button for my floor and set my hands on my hips. That was a brutal trauma. A boating accident that left two people dead in the emergency department is not how I wanted to start my day.

A tall, broad, good-looking guy with blond hair and brown eyes that are all over me steps on and I mentally roll my eyes, absolutely in no mood.

"Hi," he says, not bothering to hit any buttons.

I give him a polite, closed-mouth grin. The universal, I'm not interested sign.

"I don't mean to pry, but are you okay?"

Oh. So maybe he's not giving me the eyes I thought he was. I snicker. "I look that bad, huh?"

He peers down at me. "You're beautiful, but you also look like you've had a particularly tough morning."

"I have," I tell him, ignoring the beautiful comment.

"I'm sorry to hear that." The doors close, and the elevator goes up.

"Thank you."

"Do you want to talk about it with a total stranger?"

I can't help it. I laugh at that, some of the heaviness in my chest easing with it. "I'm all set, but thank you for offering."

"Do you like working here?" he questions. "Other than your tough morning, that is."

"I do." I look up at him, his eyes still all over me, his lips twisted into a hint of a smirk, though I wouldn't exactly say he's smiling. It's more mischievous than that. "Are you applying for a job here?"

"I wasn't going to, but after meeting you, I'm strongly reconsidering that."

My eyebrows bounce in surprise at how brazen he is. "Are you hitting on me?"

"Absolutely." That smirk is definitely smiling now. "Are you?—"

The elevator stops, and the doors open and in walks freaking Zane. Clearly, I'm not going to catch any breaks today. He scowls, hits the button for his floor, eyes the stranger who is standing a bit too close, and then comes straight for me.

"We need to talk," he demands.

For the love of God. Can't I just get five minutes of freaking peace without a man interrupting it? Why haven't I learned by this point to only take the stairs?

"No, we don't. There's nothing to say." I give him a shut up, we're in public look that he either misses entirely or doesn't care enough about to heed.

"Katy, there's a lot to say and I'm going to say it since this might be my only shot. I don't know who the guy you're keeping a secret is and I don't care. Don't do whatever you're doing with him. Get pregnant with me. I'll be so good to you this time. Please, just give me a second chance."

Jesus hell. "Are you kidding me?!" I screech, my face flushing to mortified decibels.

"Hi," the stranger who just hit on me says, extending his right hand to Zane while moving in directly beside me and putting his other hand on my lower back. "I'm Cayden. I'm the guy. Well, I should probably say her guy." He bounces his head in my direction, a cocky, she's all mine expression on his face.

"What?" both Zane and I gasp out.

Cayden grins and looks down at me. "It's okay to tell him, honey. I know you wanted to keep it a secret, but he'll never go away unless he knows who I am and that not only are you mine, but we're trying to get pregnant."

I'm dying. Or possibly having a stroke. Or a seizure. Or some kind of drug hallucination. Is my blood sugar low? That happens to me sometimes when my blood sugar bottoms out. I see random shit that's not actually there right before I pass out. Is that what this is?

Zane is red. Like seriously freaking red. His fists ball up and he looks like he's about to attack when his phone pings with a series of texts that call his attention away from me. I glance up at the stranger—he winks at me in a way that suggests I don't rock the boat—and then the elevator stops on Zane's floor.

"Shit. I have to go."

I shrug. "Cool for you. I don't care."

He huffs. "Katy. Just…" His eyes swat over to Cayden's before returning to mine. "He won't love you the way I always will. Think about what I'm saying." And then he steps off the elevator and the doors close, and the elevator starts again.

"Whoa. That was intense. You actually dated that guy?"

I laugh as he cracks the tension with a pitchfork. "I did, but you can't hold it against me. Thank you for that. It was nice of you to step in. Even if I don't know you and that might cause more problems."

The doors open on my floor, and we step off. I throw him a wave and start off when his hand grasps my forearm, stopping me and turning me back to face him. "What do you mean it might cause more problems? I just got your ex off your back by becoming your secret boyfriend who is trying to get you pregnant."

"You did," I concede, shaking off his touch. "But now word will spread that I'm dating someone when I'm not."

"Perhaps we should change that. Now that I'm no longer your secret, I should take you out for real."

I shake my head. "I'm not dating right now."

"No, you're dating me. We just established that. How about dinner?—"

Out of nowhere, Bennett comes swooping in, fist flying, and hits the guy straight in the face, knocking him to the ground in a heap of man muscle.

I blink at Cayden's slackened form and then up at Bennett, who is shaking out his fist and cursing. "Why in the hell did you do that?"