28. Raven

TWENTY-EIGHT

RAVEN

My sleep is broken. Twisted and dark. Shaped by words spoken over the past twenty-four hours, with a few from the past sprinkled on top for good measure. The main two looping on repeat come from Eldon and my brother.

If Eldon had a vision of the academy drenched in blood, then nothing good can be heading our way. Not that I’m not already aware of that, but shit, he’s solidifying it for sure. Sebastian, however, believes he deserves to die, but for a purpose greater than himself.

Something about it doesn’t sit right in my chest.

Sure, none of us would like to die. The natural fear of the afterlife stokes terror in all of us, and imagining it’s for an almighty cause, something more than our lives, is to be expected. But the way he said it… the determination in his dark, sunken eyes, is something I can’t get out of my head.

My men sleep around me, all tossing and turning in their own way as the looming doom lingers around us. But I do manage to find another kind of solace, more than one if I’m being specific. Shadows.

Everywhere.

Silhouettes outline every inch of the bedroom. I’m certain there are more in here than there ever has been before, but that’s not the part that soothes me. No. It’s the way they seem to be standing guard protectively around me.

I haven’t dared utter a word to them. I refuse to disturb my men from their already restless sleep, so instead, I just watch. Not a single shadow leaves me unnerved. If anything, I feel closer to them now than I ever have before, and I can’t truly explain the how or why.

Maybe it’s the way I can see the outline of some holding hands, the way it’s clear some are bigger and older than others, or maybe it’s the way hands run over the bed sheet that covers me as if trying to soothe the uncertainty away.

It’s as fucked up as everything else in my life, so I’m opting to roll with it. Especially since this is the first time they’ve reappeared since I merged the realms. I thought they were gone for good. Where would they have gone? I don’t fucking know, but to see that they’re still here fills me with joy and a sense of doubt at the same time.

Why aren’t they somewhere safer, calmer, happier? Why are they still here?

Swiping a hand down my face, I sigh, peering at the time. We’ve still got a little over an hour before we can hunt down Lyra, and lying here is officially doing nothing to calm the adrenaline building beneath my skin.

I need an outlet, something to shut my brain off.

Slipping from between Brax and Eldon’s sleeping limbs, I crawl to the end of the bed and tiptoe to the door as quietly as I can. I breathe a sigh of relief when I manage to close the door behind me without disturbing anyone, and the second I do, I get a tugging sensation in my gut.

It’s familiar, and I immediately know where it’s coming from.

Heading toward the patio doors, I can’t see anything beyond the first few yards outside, but I know there’s someone watching and waiting. Keeping all the lights off, I unlock the door and slip outside. The cool air is a blessing, sweeping over my body as I shiver.

“Ari,” I murmur, squinting up at the huge griffin waiting patiently for me.

“You’ve had your walls up,” he grumbles, giving me the griffin equivalent of a death stare.

I shake my head at him as I near, mindlessly running my hands over his feathers as I peer out over the water crashing below.

“You told me to do that, literally taught me, remember?”

“I didn’t mean toward me as well. I haven’t been able to reach out,” he retorts, clearly irritated, but I’m unsure if it’s because I seem to be doing it so well or because he taught me to begin with. I don’t focus on that, though. Instead, worry creeps up my spine about what he may have been dealing with.

“Is everything okay? Is Gia alright?” I blurt, tilting my face to look up at him.

He relaxes, lowering to the ground as he brings me in closer against his chest, sheltering me from the wind that continues to pick up.

“I’m fine, Gia is fine, everything is fine. It’s you that’s had me concerned.”

My eyes widen at his statement and I think about everything that has continued to unravel since he stopped avoiding me. Shit, I’ve been feeling a lot of things, big and small, but everything is definitely heightened.

I forget that the feelings can be so strong between us, and guilt instantly gets the better of me. “I’m sor⁠—”

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Raven. Don’t apologize for fighting and surviving.” His words feel familiar, reminding me of what Zane said last night. It felt completely out of left field, just as this does now, but it must be the madness in the air that’s encouraging them to express it. I’ve never needed anyone to boost me up to spike my confidence, but I can’t deny the effect it continues to have on me. “So, are you going to talk to me about it?”

I clear my throat, toying with the feathers on his chest as I try to piece the words together. I’m honestly sick of living in this stress. Feeling it is enough, having to discuss it is even harder and it makes me want to bury my head in the sand and not come up for air until it’s well and truly passed us by.

Unfortunately, that isn’t our reality. Well, it’s certainly not mine.

So I explain it. My deal with Sebastian, officially bringing him back from the dead; Burton’s confirmation that The Monarchy is aiding him; everything in between; and I top it all off with the details of Eldon’s vision. I feel spent and exhausted by the time I’m done, and this time, I feel the trembling, frustration, and anger reverberating from him because of it.

“I think you should just let me tear their heads off,” he bites, shaking his head from side to side. I brace for impact, but somehow, his beak doesn’t actually hit me as I expected.

“Who?” I ask with a snicker, trying to make light of the situation.

“Every single one of them.”

It sounds enticing, like the best idea I’ve heard, but it’s not as simple as that, and neither is putting him in so much danger. Not that I can tell him that. It would just earn me another griffin death stare, and one is more than enough to last a lifetime.

All I seem to be doing is adding people to my protection list, piling more weight on my shoulders, which is the complete opposite of what the guys asked me to do last night, yet I can’t help but feel responsible for everyone’s safety.

“I wish it was as simple as that, but I can’t risk you in that way. Not for your sake, not for mine, and I certainly couldn’t do that to Gia.” I risk speaking the truth that resonates inside me despite the impending death stare, but to my surprise, he nuzzles against my neck.

“Raven, you have an army around you. We’re here at your command. All you have to do is say the word and we’ll be there to aid you. Not just me and mine, but the drakes too. I heard their pledge, and despite my dislike for them, I believe they’ll keep it.”

I hum in agreement, a new sensation flitting through my veins as I take his words in. Really take them in. Maybe everyone is right, much to my dismay at having to agree with them, but maybe I need to take stock of who is at my side and who is willing to remain there to the very end.

All those pledges toward me.

Fuck.

Instead of being unable to do anything because I don’t know where to begin, maybe I need to be considering the fact that there are people around me with different strengths and weaknesses to mine. Imagine what could be possible if we worked off that, bringing us all together to finally lay this evil to rest.

“I can feel it.”

“Feel what?” I ask, but the stubborn griffin shifts, rising to stand before offering me a response.

“Your brain whirring to life.”

“What do you mean?” I push, frowning up at him as the sky starts to lighten around us.

“I mean, you’re finally getting it.”

I roll my eyes. This griffin is going to be the fucking death of me. “Getting what?”

He doesn’t offer me an explanation, though. That would be too easy. Instead, he moves toward the edge of the cliff, only glancing over his shoulder at me at the last second.

“Tug on our connection as I did to you. That’s all I will need to know you require us.”

Before I can pester the fuck out of him to understand what he means by that as well, he’s gone.