Chapter Seventeen

Danica

F inn pulls on the ends of his hair in frustration, before reaching a hand down to start tapping against his thigh. That’s his tell, the true sign of his agitation that very few get to see; and of those few, even less understand the truth behind it. A wave of guilt passes through me.

Stepping over to his side, I reach out and gently grab his fidgeting hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. I move to kiss him on the cheek, but being just as tall as his twin, I have to stand on tiptoes, and he bends his head down towards me absentmindedly, to reach. “Okay.” I glance over at Theo. “I’m sorry for snapping at you, that was uncalled for. Thank you for all your help, but truly, you don’t need to worry about this. Finn and Jay have it handled.”

Jonathan, who was standing next to Bash throughout this whole encounter, the both of them just quietly observing the back and forth like an intense tennis match, finally breaks his silence. Looking from Finn and myself, over to Bash, before finally acknowledging Theo. “Do you two mind taking her home for me?” There are thunderclouds in Theo’s eyes at Jay’s request, an electrical storm brewing under the surface of those intense blues. Bash speaks before Theo has a chance to respond.

“We’ve got it covered.” With a jerk of his chin, he nods in my general direction. “Come on, hotness. Let’s leave it to the geniuses here to figure out this mess.” And with a turn of his heel, and a swagger in his step, he walks out of the lobby and into the night; grabbing Theo tightly by the arm and dragging him along the way. “We’ll just be right out front,” he tosses over his shoulder to me in passing.

Finn glances in my direction, finally giving me a close once-over. “You good? ”

My lips flatten into a thin line. Am I good? Going to a hockey game after avoiding them altogether since Theo and I broke up. Running into the one man I was dreading seeing the most- the one who stole my heart before taping together the broken pieces, only to rip it to shreds months later; then being forced to spend a large portion of my evening with said heartbreaker, only to find out that someone broke into and vandalized my business. And this, after years of quiet stalking and months more of threatening “gifts” left on my doorstep? No, I’m not even close to good. But I will be. I didn’t claw my way out of hell only to let this drag me back down once more.

With a dismissive shrug, I brush aside the concern evident on Jay's features and the pointed looks Finn is pinning me with. “I’ve been worse.” And that is the goddamn truth.

The truck is dark, the silence thick and oppressive, for the remainder of the drive back to my apartment. Wedged uncomfortably once more between two burly hockey players, I stare straight ahead, my back rigid as I watch the passing streetlights on the damp pavement. With a start, I am jerked out of my thoughts as Bash drapes a casual arm around my shoulders, hugging me gently to his side. It’s not lost on me that once upon a time, it would have been Theo’s side I was pulled into.

“Penny for your thoughts, Kitty Cat?”

I glance up into the face of my friend, my surrogate older brother. His face is cast in shadows, illuminated by the occasional passing of headlights, but am saved from having to respond as we pull in front of my building. Once again, it is not lost on me that I didn’t have to give Theo directions, he just knew right where to go.

Straightening out of Bash’s comforting embrace, I turn to face Theo. “It was, uh, good to see you again Theo. Thanks for the ride. And everything.” I turn back to Bash, who is opening the passenger door. With a futile push, I try to get my boulder of a friend to move but he won’t budge. “Dude, this is my stop. Scoot!”

Bash just lifts an eyebrow at my pathetic attempt to push him out of the way. Shaking his head, he finally hops out, allowing me to scramble after him. Before my feet even touch the ground, I am pulled into a bear hug, being lifted off the ground as my arms are crushed to my sides.

“It was good to see you too, Bash.”

He sets me down gently, stepping back once my feet are firmly on the ground.

“Well, this was certainly an interesting night. Not exactly what I had planned with our grand reunion.” My sardonic expression doesn’t deter him as he continues, “I really wish I could stay longer, make sure you are okay. I hate having to leave you like this.” I am hit by that same tingling sense of awareness as Theo walks up to my side.

Shoving my hands in my pockets, I rock back on the heels of my feet as I shrug, feigning an air of nonchalance that I am not currently feeling. “It’s all good, you know. Par for the course with me,” my face is deadpan as I speak. I can feel a tension radiating off Theo, but he remains silent by my side. “Anyway, we’ll catch up again another time. Christmas isn’t too far off. Who knows? By then maybe this whole mess will be cleaned up. You still coming over for the holidays?”

The grin that spreads across my friend’s face is blinding, and looking at him, it is easy to see why he has garnered a reputation with the ladies for being one of the biggest players; currently ranked as one of the top bachelors in the league. “You bet your fine ass I am. Wouldn’t miss it for the world, hotness.” Rolling my eyes at this, I turn to face Theo. “So, uh, thanks again for everything. It was good catching up with you.”

I jab my thumb over my shoulder as I continue, “I should, uh, head inside. See you around.” And with that, I turn on my heel, not bothering to look behind me as I head inside; refusing to let the roiling emotions swim to the surface, at least until I can lock myself inside my apartment.

Once inside the building, I quickly make my way over to the elevator, jabbing the button repeatedly, as if that would actually make it appear faster. A shudder escapes me and I find myself fighting to hold the tears at bay as the overwhelming events of the evening come flooding back to me. A soft ding signals the arrival just before the elevator doors open with a soft whoosh. Stepping inside, I finally turn to face forward as I press the button for my floor and a piercing shriek fills the air as I jump with a start.

“Can’t get rid of me that easily, la mia diavoletta.” With a sadistic grin on his too-smug face, Theo stands before me, as he and Bash both move into the elevator, crowding my space. Suddenly the elevator is too small, the air too thin, as these two hulking figures press in beside me .

“Dammit Theo! Bash! What the hell? You scared the shit out of me.” An unrepentant grin spreads over my friend’s face, as he crosses his arms.

“Did you really think we were gonna let that be our goodbye? That we would leave you to go back to your place alone after the shit that went down in your office?” Theo quirks a brow in my direction, a hard edge to his tone despite the playful grin that I want to smack off his too-beautiful face.

Knowing from our history that this is one battle I can’t win, I choose instead to bite my tongue, staring straight ahead at the closed doors as we move up to my floor. After what feels like an eternity, his scent drowning me in memories of warm embraces and long nights filled with quiet conversations, the door finally slides open, and I let out a shaky breath.

As I turn to face the two men sharing the small space with me, I make a vague gesture over my shoulder. “Well, this is me. Thanks guys, I’ve got it from here.” Not saying anything, they both just stare at me, arms crossed over their chests as they wait for me to step out of the elevator.

“Fine then.” I mutter under my breath as I step into the hall and make my way down the dim corridor to my apartment. Once home, I move to unlock the door. A soft click sounds with the bolt sliding back, and stepping into the dark room, I give a quick once-over, relief filling me when I find there are no new “gifts” waiting for me. Up until now, they have all been waiting just outside my door, but after the events of this evening, I wouldn’t put it past my stalker to get past this security system as they had with the one in my office. Moving to the wall, I place my hand on the digital pad while it scans, disarming the system and turning the lights on. With a few presses on the screen, I quickly survey the security footage of the other rooms, reassuring myself that everything is in its proper place.

A soft groan fills the air as two large bodies plop gracelessly onto my couch. “Alright then, just come on in and make yourself at home why don’t you.” The words are muttered under my breath, but apparently both men catch it anyway.

A snicker from Bash lets me know he finds the half-annoyed grumbling amusing, even as Theo responds. “Oh, my pretty diavoletta. So kind and welcoming. Just the way I remembered you.” A grin breaks across his face, apparently amused at his reminder of our initial interactions from when we first met all those years ago. It’s true, I may not have been the most welcoming individual back then, but there had been a lot going on in my personal life, and Theo? Well, he was just a lot. In his dark jeans and hoodie, with his piercing blue eyes and formidable presence how could he not be? I had grown to love that though, had found comfort in his strong arms and reassurance in his well-earned confidence.

Theodore Giovanni is a powerful man, even back then I knew it. Now, with time, he has grown into himself and seeing him here, in my little apartment? Well, I am finding it hard to look away. Somehow, he has grown even taller than I remembered, and clearly had put on even more muscle, a feat I didn’t think possible. He had been well-built in college, strong and powerful, commanding attention both on and off the ice. But now? He's a brick wall. Solid muscle stacked on top of more muscle; his figure dominating my small and feminine space.

Biting my lip, nervous at the fact that he is here, in my apartment, I catch his eye as he stares boldly back at me, his gaze lingering on my mouth before trailing lazily back up to meet my gaze. He has never been inside my home before, never seen my life after. His being in my space was somehow much more abrasive than our meeting earlier in the restaurant had been. A heaviness settles around me as the weight of what was left unsaid between us all these years suddenly comes rushing back. I can see the moment it registers for him as well, pain flickering in his gaze before I can bring myself to look away.

“So, anyway. This is my place. Kitchen’s over there, bathroom’s down the hall to the left. Guest room is to the right and the master is at the end.” I gesture vaguely in the direction of each room indicated. “It’s not much, but it’s home.”

I shrug, trying to keep the nerves at bay. What must he think of this, my space? My personal haven. It is nothing like the home I grew up in, no false pretenses and fancy offerings meticulously put together by the best interior designers that money can buy. Instead, it is a comfortable mashup of thrifted furniture, bookshelves lining one wall, an overly plush reading chair tucked in the corner with my favorite throw blanket, the one his mother knit for me, draped casually across the back.

I continue to gaze around my humble home, taking in the view through his eyes. The kitchen is pretty bare, minimal dishes, except for the children’s set I have specifically for when my godson Wolfie stays over. The guest room is his too, the only room that I have truly taken the time to put together. Done in soft tones of blue, a fabric swing that Finn and Jay helped me install hanging in one corner, with a row of meticulously placed sensory toys, and airplane models line the shelves of the small bookshelf.

The rest of the place, the living room, bathroom, and my bedroom are all very minimalistically done. Not bothering to take the time and money to put something together, it is all really simple. Bare essentials in place. Aside from my reading corner, this place is little more than a place to sleep. It had once been my freedom and my safe haven, but that changed once the packages and letters started showing up, just a few short months after I moved in. They followed me from college, where I had hoped they would stay.

Chalking it all up to an overenthusiastic fan initially, it took several years before it truly registered that there was more to the little notes and gifts that were deliberately left for me to find, in my dorm, in my locker at the college’s gymnastics center, in my car. Even then, the notes were always flowery poetry and little gifts. Chocolates that I would never eat, flowers, beautifully painted watercolors of landscapes on notecards.

My senior year of college, after I won my second gold medal in the Summer Olympics, was the first time I ever felt a sense of fear, the bemusement of the fanfare fading with the lilting poem dripping with contempt, the words sinister. Attached to the note had been a charred feather, and that, along with the words themselves, were a clear indication that someone knew more about my past than they were letting on.

I reached out to Finn then, and he arranged for more lessons with Jonathan on various forms of self-defense and situational awareness. That spring, after graduation, he had insisted I relocate up to the Seattle area where it would be easier for him to keep an eye on things. And it was just as well, I thought.

My roommate Sierra was moving to the east coast for residency after she finished her med school program, and there was no way in hell that I could bring myself to move back there, not even for my brother or Bash who were both still situated on that half of the continent. I didn’t know where I wanted to end up, only that wherever it was, I was going to open a gymnastics center, and Seattle was as good a place as any.

The only thing holding me back, giving me any sense of resignation, was the fact that Theo, too, was settled in Seattle for his position in the league. But, as I reasoned at the time, Seattle was a large city, and even if the guys mentioned it to him that I was moving here (which I assumed they would), there was no reason we ever had to actually see one another. And I had been doing well with that, for years, up until tonight. All thanks to Bash insisting I come to their game.