46. Natalie
46
NATALIE
I groan. Where to start?
‘Just so we’re clear,’ Darcy says, shaking her gorgeous auburn hair off her face. ‘You hate him, but you’re fucking. Right?’ She’s definitely overdressed for a pizzeria in a low-cut black dress that has her amazing boobs on display, but who cares?
‘Not really,’ I say.
‘Ugh! Enough vagueness!’ Maddy shouts. ‘I’m a horny pregnant person! I need all the salacious details!’
‘Keep your voice down,’ I grit out as Gen rolls her eyes at Maddy. ‘Okay, fine. Obviously I had my weird little sleepover at his place where he actually looked after me amazingly and I was an ungrateful bitch.’
‘And he got a boner in your bed,’ Darcy reminds me helpfully.
‘And he got a boner in my bed. Um—that night that Ben mentioned, Adam had asked me if I ever came through to the club. I said no, remember? I saw you guys that evening. But I couldn’t resist going in for a little peek after my shift.’
Maddy squeals and clenches her fists, and I glare at her .
‘Sorry,’ she says, looking chastised. ‘Please proceed with your delicious tale.’
‘Well, I went through to The Playroom, and there he was, spanking one of the hosts on the Banquette while someone else went down on her.’
‘I fucking knew he’d be into that,’ Darcy says, slapping the table. ‘You can tell just by looking at him, can’t you? He looks so stern.’
‘Anyway,’ I say pointedly, ‘he saw me flouncing off and he came and grabbed me and dragged me off into a private room. He told me the woman he was spanking was someone he’d fucked previously, and that she’d asked him to do it.’
‘It was Rose,’ Gen says, wrinkling her nose like she’s not sure if this is information I want to hear. She’s holding her pizza slice more elegantly than I would have thought possible.
‘Oh.’ My stomach does a flip. ‘She’s really sexy.’ God, he fucked Rose. And spanked her. And she loved it. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t spanked me yet—maybe he likes doing it to little sex kittens who know what they want rather than uptight women who may well run a mile.
‘Don’t overthink it,’ Gen orders in her firmest voice. ‘Keep going.’
‘Well, we had a very, um, hot time in the room.’ I don’t know why I’m shy about this. These three have got up to all sorts of mischief I couldn’t dream of. ‘He kind of seduced me, and he was so smug and insufferable and I was more turned on than I’ve ever been in my life.’ Their rapt faces make me smile. ‘We didn’t have sex—he undressed me and went down on me and then he straddled me and came all over my chest.’
Gen grins in a that’s my girl kind of way and gives me a very small and discreet hand clap while Maddy and Darcy look like they might expire.
‘Why didn’t he fuck you?’ Darcy wants to know.
‘I may have… begged him to, in the moment, but he refused. Said he didn’t want me having any more regrets than I already would. He wouldn’t kiss me, either. He said it would be too lonely kissing a woman who hated him.’
Maddy clasps her hands over her chest. ‘Be still my heart!’
‘Let’s remember Adam isn’t exactly blameless here,’ Gen says. ‘He’s put Nat’s family through hell.’
‘Amen to that,’ Darcy says.
‘But I gather things have developed from there?’ Gen asks.
I swallow the mouthful of pizza I’ve snuck in. ‘You could say that. He came to my office the next day to check if I was okay and he found me upset about some work stuff. Money’s been a bit tight, and I had a massive invoice that was due for payment before the mill would release the fabric.
‘Anyway, he was amazing. He sat me down and made me tell him the problem, and then he got on the phone with the mill in France and renegotiated our terms then and there. He bought me sixty days’ credit, and he told me to go away and do the same with all our other suppliers.’
‘Well, that’s impressive,’ Gen says. ‘What a thoroughly decent thing to do. I’m so glad he could help you.’
‘Me too.’ I shrug. ‘It made me realise that, whatever shit’s gone down in the past, maybe the man he is today isn’t all bad. I kissed him after that, and it’s escalated since then. I’ve spent pretty much every night at his place, and he’s helped me so much with work stuff. He’s the kindest man I’ve ever met. ’
This declaration is met with stunned silence.
‘Honestly, it’s true. He looks after me so well. He has his chef cook me amazing meals that won’t spike my blood sugar. And he comes and gets me every night after my shift. He doesn’t even send his driver, and I know it’s making him tired, but he shows up every time.’
Gen smiles, and I can see in her smile how thrilled she is for me. ‘The doormen may have mentioned that to me, too,’ she says with a wink. I should have known I couldn’t pull the wool over Gen’s eyes.
‘So… you’re dating?’ Maddy presses. ‘It’s serious?’
I sigh. ‘I don’t know. It seems to be serious, but we haven’t discussed the future at all. The elephant in the room is that I don’t see how we can go public to my family, like, ever. I need to talk to my mum about it.’
‘How have you come to terms with what he did to your brother?’ Darcy asks. ‘Have you just decided to forgive him and let bygones be bygones?’
I hesitate. I don’t want to betray Adam’s confidence, but I don’t think the headlines of his story are a secret. ‘He’s told me a lot about what happened then. It’s beyond horrific. Let’s just say he was a victim, too. He had an alcoholic mother, and his little sister had just died. He beat my brother up five days after the funeral. She had type 1 diabetes.’
Darcy and Maddy gasp. Gen merely presses her lips together sympathetically.
‘You knew?’ I asked her.
‘I made Anton tell me the full story,’ she admits. ‘I was so angry after that first time you recognised him. But I figured it was Adam’s story to share with you.’
I nod. ‘Like I said, he was a victim just as much as my brother. He was in a seriously bad place. That judge really did a number on him. But I’m not sure whether I can ever persuade Stephen to give him a chance.’
We’re all silent for a minute. Maddy sighs and picks up her pizza slice. ‘Well, that’s depressing. Poor guy.’
‘Tell me about it.’
‘But he seems like a keeper,’ Darcy insists. ‘It sounds like he’s doing everything right.’
I nod. ‘He really, really is.’
‘How’s the sex?’ Maddy asks with a grin.
I laugh. ‘Um, yeah. It’s amazing.’
‘Spanky spanky?’
‘Not so much.’ I hesitate. Maybe these women can give me some advice. ‘I know he’s really into it, but he won’t lay a finger on me.’
‘That makes total sense to me,’ Gen muses, tucking a lock of immaculate platinum hair behind her ear. ‘For years and years, he’s been the bully who landed your brother in hospital. I’m sure he’s on his very best behaviour with you.’
‘I know you’re right.’ I sigh. ‘But I trust him implicitly. I’ve told him that, over and over.’
‘Have you been spanked by anyone before?’ she asks.
‘No.’
‘So you can see why it would be high risk for him. He has no idea if you can handle it. Do you like the idea of it?’ Her voice is gentle but probing.
‘Yes? I don’t know why. I’d never thought about it before, but I really like the idea of Adam doing it. But I don’t know if it’s because I really want it or because I know he loves it and I want to be able to give him that. I don’t want random women like Rose sharing that with him and not me. Does that make sense?’
‘It does, but you have to do it for yourself, babes,’ Maddy tells me. Her voice is so kind .
‘I know you’re right. I don’t love pain—I don’t want him to hurt me. But I love the idea of him… disciplining me, I suppose?’
They all grin in tandem.
‘Amen to that,’ Darcy drawls, saluting me with her wineglass. ‘Pretty much the first thing Max ever did when we met in Cannes was threaten to put me over his knee. It was so fucking hot.’
‘Do they spank you?’ I ask her tentatively.
‘Max, yes, a lot. Dex sometimes, when Max tells him to. And I don’t like pain either. You should see me getting waxed. I’m pathetic. But being put over Max’s knee like a naughty girl has me practically coming there and then—I fucking love it. I can’t get enough of it.’
‘Me neither,’ Maddy offers. ‘Spreadsheet spanked me that first time he fucked me, at Slave Night, and he practically had to peel me off the ceiling. I fucking loved it.’ She turns to me. ‘Think about it. I bet Adam would be so good at it. Doesn’t it turn you on, imagining him putting you over his knee or getting you on all fours, and then peeling down your panties and spanking you while he finger fucks you? Imagine how serious he’d look. I’d put money on him being a natural disciplinarian.’
Oh my sweet baby Jesus. I squirm in my seat as Gen lets out an amused snort. How is it that Maddy’s characteristically crude words have just painted such a scorching hot image?
She’s totally nailed it.
Adam Wright, disciplinarian.
I can feel his hands on me, stinging me, while those long fingers pushed inside me.
I need this from him.