15. Chapter 15

Standing next to Khadahr was unnerving. The way his reddish eyes bore into me was disconcerting. I should have wanted nothing more than to retreat back to the safety of my tent. Yet, I stood rooted to the spot, staring up at him, talking about gases and all the ways I could conjecture on how ICs might decide to screw him and his people over.

On some level, I was even aware of how counterintuitive it was for me to tell him how devious my species could be. For so many years, I had dreamed of coming to Vandruk, exploring it. And now I was working really hard to give him reason to kick us out.

I couldn't help but tell him, though. He and his tribe were warriors, yes, but if they thought they could make honest deals with people like the ones running ICs, they were also naive.

I hadn't been thinking when I placed my hand on his forearm, and the jolt that ran through me at the contact surprised me so much that I nearly pulled my hand back. The thought that he might perceive that as rude made me force my palm to stay in place—at least for a little bit.

He didn't move to brush my hand off, and I was very aware of how hard the muscles on his forearm were. This made me speculate about how the rest of his muscles would feel. And where did that thought come from? Once it was out there, others followed. Quickly. What would it feel like to be kissed by a man like him? A man with such strength? A delicate flutter moved through my stomach at the thought of his arms around me, of me leaning into his chest. For a moment, I stopped breathing as a warm jolt ran through my pussy, the sensation so exquisite, I felt myself getting wet.

There was no denying it. I liked being in his presence. I liked him for whatever reason, no matter how unnerving it was to be in such close proximity to him. And I wanted more, so much more.

"Khadahr." My voice was all raspy and deep, as if I had smoked a hundred cigarettes.

His eyes turned down to mine, desire flickered in them, and I swallowed. Did I dare hope he would kiss me?

Fake, loud laughter carried over from others walking closer toward us, and I took a few steps back from Khadahr to stare into the night and force my eyes to make out who it was, cursing whoever it was and willing the hard beating of my heart back under control.

Sandra.

Of course it was her .

She was holding on to the arm of one of Khadahr's warriors. Laughing and batting her eyelashes at him.

In false surprise, she squealed when we came into view. "Oh, look, there you are."

"Were you looking for us?" I couldn't stop myself from asking.

"No, silly. I needed to go to the bathroom, and this barbarian was kind enough to escort me." She giggled and threw googly eyes at the man beside her.

"Khadahr," the man greeted his leader respectfully, giving me only a cursory glance and saying something else I didn't understand.

Khadahr grunted a response I didn't understand either.

"I'm glad you're here. Come with me," Sandra said. She took her hand from the Vandruk's arm and grabbed my hand instead, pulling me into the bushes.

"It's gonna be so much easier with another girl." She giggled as if we were best friends.

I allowed her to pull me to where the two men couldn't see us any longer and followed her example of pulling my pants down and squatting to relieve my bladder. All the while, I expected her to lunge at me in the compromising position.

I had to go, though, and it seemed easier to me to do so now while she was also vulnerable.

When we pulled our pants back up, she moved in close to me, her eyes narrowed. "Stay away from him."

If she thought she could intimidate me, she had approached the wrong woman. This wouldn't be the first fight in my life .

"You cannot tell me what to do." I kept my voice as low as she had and took another step forward. Rule number one when approached by a bully: D on't back down. Take the offensive .

I glared at Sandra just as she was glaring at me.

"Careful, little bitch. You have no idea who you're playing with," she warned.

"Oh, I know who I'm playing with. The question is: do you?" I shouldered by her, prepared for an attack from behind, but nothing happened. Instead, she simply followed me while snickering quietly to herself.

Khadahr and the other Vandruk still stood where we had left them. Wordlessly, they accompanied us back to the tents, and I noticed that this time it was Khadahr's arm that Sandra was clutching for support as she clumsily made her way. I ground my teeth as I watched her stumble from time to time for an excuse to cling harder to him.

I would have loved for Khadahr and me to have kissed or maybe have even gone further, but I wasn't sure I wanted to be his mate . Not because I would be a khadahrshi—whatever that meant—but because I didn't really want to be mated to anyone. This afternoon during our walk, I had an epiphany. The other girls came because they wanted to, but Khadahr had demanded my presence, and I fully intended to exploit that loophole when it came time to choose or be chosen. I wasn't sure if my little ploy would work, but it was all I had. Just maybe I could endear myself enough to Khadahr to keep me here, even if I wasn't his mate .

So why then, was it bothering me so much to see Sandra trying to become his khadahrshi? He was bound to pick one of them.

Not for the first time since Khadahr had announced that there would be some kind of bride-choosing games or competition—I hoped it wouldn't be like gladiator games; please don't let it be gladiator games —I wondered if Khadahr would participate and who he would choose.

My money was on Sandra, which only made me grind my teeth harder. But the thought of any of the other girls with Khadahr sat just as ill with me. Frustrated, I kicked a rock because I didn't like to admit that I wanted Khadahr to choose me. And therein lay my entire conundrum.

"Where were you?" Kenley mumbled when I returned to my tent. I took a second to respond, and in that time, she turned over and began to quietly snore, sparing me an answer.

How had Sandra even known I was out there? She couldn't have followed me. And with all the wilderness around us, it seemed like too much of a coincidence that she had picked the same spot and the same time to pee.

Grumbling, I pulled a fur over my head as if that would keep all these pestering thoughts out of my brain. I was here because I had wanted to explore Vandruk, not its inhabitants. Now, there was another epiphany that jolted through me hotly.

Unbidden, the sensation of my hand on Khadahr's arm came back to me, followed by a delicious shiver going through me.

Argh , my mind groaned.

Hmm , my heart thumped .

God! What a mess.

Again, my mind returned to how it would have felt had he touched me. What would the kiss have been like had Sandra not shown up? I was certain he would have kissed me.

I closed my eyes and moved my right hand to my left arm. A delicious shudder moved through me as I stroked my own arm first, then moved my hand under my shirt, up my breast, and I barely suppressed a moan. Hot liquid spread through my pussy. God, I was horny.

Light snoring from Michaela reminded me that I wasn't alone in the tent.

But the others are sleeping , my vagina tempted, pulsing, needing release. They can wake up any minute , my mind reminded me. Did I feel daring enough to pleasure myself? Here? Now? When I wasn't alone?

Kenley coughed and rolled over.

With a huff, I turned onto my stomach. Nope, I wasn't the daring type, at least not in this.

Last night, I overheard the guards planning to hunt early in the morning instead of in the evening when everyone was tired after a long day's march. Worried I would miss them, I didn't sleep well that night; every little noise woke me .

The sun wasn't even up yet, when the sound of subdued voices roused me. Thinking it would be the hunting party, I quickly and as quietly as possible put on my boots and left the tent. This was my chance to join them, and I wouldn't miss it.

"You don't even have a weapon," the human guard I approached said, who seemed to be the leader of that day's hunting party.

"I don't need a weapon. I just want to observe and learn," I reiterated my request.

"Why?" he demanded, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Because I need to learn how to live off this land," I argued, trying hard to keep the impatience out of my voice and not adding a duh to the end.

"Funny. I thought all you had to do was spread your legs to receive anything your greedy little head demands," he said with a derisive sneer.

Oh no, he didn't. Many choice words lay on the tip of my tongue, but I held them back. Instead, I took a deep breath. Easy, Gwyn, you attract more flies with honey than vinegar ; my mom's voice popped into my head.

"I will pretend you just didn't say that to me." I squared my shoulders and stretched my chin forward to appear taller than I was. "I want to go with you."

"You really don't know when to quit, alien bait. Do you?" he sneered. I held my ground.

"What's going on here?" Commander Willis joined our little tête-à-tête.

"This woman wants to join the hunting party, sir," the guard explained.

"You again?" Commander Willis stared me up and down. "Why do you want to join the hunting party?"

"I promise I'll stay out of the way. I just want to watch and learn," I repeated my earlier request, cringing on the inside for having to ask anybody for permission to do anything. I was a grown woman, for crying out loud.

Commander Willis shrugged. "Your funeral. Boyd, take her with you and make sure she doesn't get in the way."

"Yes, sir," Boyd replied unenthusiastically.

I kept the glee for having gotten my way from my face and demurred, "Thank you," toward Boyd as if it had been him allowing me to go all along. A tiny voice, which sounded like Dawn's, sounded in my ear, asking why Willis had agreed to allow me to go. I shut it down, too happy to be allowed to accompany the hunting party and to hopefully learn something.

"Whatever. Keep up, alien bait."

I ran into my next challenge when we met up with today's assigned Vandruks assigned to teach the guards how and what to hunt. Excitedly, the two men pointed at me and chattered loudly, not in a happy way though.

Boyd ignored them and waved them on.

One of the Vandruks crossed his arms over his chest, shaking his head, making it clear he wasn't about to move if I went with them.

"You're not worth this trouble," Boyd remarked .

I ignored him and walked up to the first Vandruk. I wasn't sure if I was happy or disappointed that Khadahr wasn't with them. I had considered the possibility that he wouldn't like me going with the hunting group, but I figured if he wasn't here, it would be easier.

"Forrin," I said the Vandruk word for hunt that I had learned this morning from Khar-Del, the cook. It hadn't been easy to explain to him what word I was looking for, and now I hoped it was the right one as I stared at the warrior expectantly.

"Nek." He shook his head. "Nek forrin gallies." Gallies, I had learned, meant females.

"Sa." I pointed at myself. "Forrin, beldin," I added, which meant watching—another word I had pried from Khar-Del this morning.

The warrior stared at me skeptically.

"Perrdi," I added—please.

His reddish eyes penetrated mine with the same intensity as Khadahr's had last night, and suddenly I remembered Sandra's fluttering eyelashes. It was stupid really, but since I found myself on wobbly ground, I gave it a try, placing my palm on his arm for good measure.

He seemed exasperated, but he nodded, releasing a string of words from which I only gathered one: forrin.

Excitedly, I followed the group of two Vandruks and five human guards as we set off into the wilderness. From the corner of my eye, I saw Khadahr talking animatedly with Szun-Var and another warrior whose name I didn't know. Quickly I turned, hoping he wouldn't notice me, convinced he would put a stop to my little adventure.

The Vandruks each carried their bone swords, knives, and a spear with a sharpened tip, also made from bone, the same as the arrows in their quivers. A bow was strung across their backs.

The human guards were equally equipped, minus the bows. They too carried spears, swords, and knives, but their quality didn't appear to be up to par with that of the Vandruks'.

I hadn't paid any attention if the guards had killed anything last night, but I didn't care one way or another. Even if we didn't get anything today, I was just happy to gain any experience I could.

I suppose I could have tried to make small talk with the guards, but their dull expressions didn't invite conversations, and neither did their veiled glances in my direction.

The Vandruks obviously didn't speak English, and I had pretty much exhausted my Vandruk vocabulary earlier, but I was determined to learn as much as possible.

Sidling up to the same warrior I talked to earlier, I began pointing at things—the sky, the sun, and a tree—with a questioning expression. It took a bit of cajoling to get him to tell me the first word, clyp, for sun, but after that, it went easier once he figured out what I was asking.

About twenty minutes later, the Vandruk—whose name I learned was Del-Khet, and the other Mak-Thar—put his finger to his lips and crouched down, moving his hand up and down for me and the guards to do the same .

The guards had been keeping mostly quiet the entire way, just throwing sullen glares at me and the Vandruks, but now they, too, crouched down. Exited vibes came off all seven men. It seemed when it came to hunting, males of all species bonded together.

Del-Khet pointed forward, but as much as I narrowed and strained my eyes, I didn't see anything besides the ever-present twirled plants and the others that looked like giant succulents.

A slight movement caught my eye, and I focused on it until I made out the shape of a deer-like creature. It held its orange nose up into the air as if sniffing it. Long ears that looked like saucers twitched this way and that. A second one appeared by its side, this one a bit smaller. Something twisted in my chest when I realized that this was probably a mama deer and its baby. Were the men going to kill it? Were we going to eat it for dinner? Was that what we had been eating?

Queasiness spread through my stomach. I wasn't totally naive; I knew that something had been killed for us to eat the past few days. I just hadn't given it any thought, kind of like when you order meat at a restaurant or buy it at the supermarket.

But it was a whole lot different to see the source right in front of you, looking so damn… cute.

Shit.

Better toughen up, woman, because you wanted to be here , I reminded myself in the strictest voice I could muster, steeling myself to watch little mama and baby deer die. If I screamed or yelled to chase them off, this would for sure be the one and only time the Vandruks or guards would allow me to go with them. I had to remind myself that survival out here wasn't like going to buy food at the grocery store. I had to become harder if I truly wanted to live here, especially if I wanted to make it on my own.

I bit hard into my lower lip to prevent myself from making any sound, as Del-Khet indicated for Boyd to take his men to the left while he and Mak-Thar would go right. He gave me a sharp nod, pointed at me, and where I crouched. The message was clear: stay put.

With my heart in my throat, I nodded and watched the guards, weighing their spears in their hands as they stealthily approached the deer.

I bit harder into my lip. This was really happening.

The sudden ear-piercing scream of something I couldn't identify rang out. The Vandruks rose up and stiffened. The guards hesitated before they made a run for the deer, who had also lifted their heads into the air.

I held my breath as Boyd's spear flew through the air, straight for mama deer, but both her and the baby weren't there any longer.

"Gwyn, kev!" Del-Khet yelled at me.

I had no idea what kev meant, but I figured it out the moment I heard another unnatural scream. This time much louder and closer to me, behind me. Run! my mind screamed.

With a small yelp, I jumped forward and up a small ravine to where the Vandruks stood, instinctively knowing that they would be my better chance of survival even though there were only two of them as opposed to the five guards .

Del-Khet raised his spear over his shoulder, moving it up and down, readying himself to throw it. With clarity, I realized that something was behind me, and whatever that something was had to be damn close and dangerous judging by the expression of dread on the Vandruk warrior's faces and a sudden cry of dismay from one of the guards.

"Gwyn, krot!" Del-Khet yelled.

I didn't understand that word either, but guessed its meaning when Del-Khet obviously readied his spear to throw it in my direction. I threw myself to the ground, scraping my palms and knees, and rolled on the gravelly soil, hitting every single rock in my path.

And then time stood still.

Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined something like the creature behind me to exist. It was tall, probably seven feet or more, with a massive chest and an even bigger head. Right then, it opened its humongous mouth, and I swear I could have stood upright inside it. It was filled with sharp teeth and long fangs. Hot heat bathed me from its stinking breath as it let out a bellow that froze my entire body.

Small ears pointed up as it shook its massive head like an aggravated bull. A cloven, hard hoof scratched against the neon green-orange ground, sending rocks flying.

Yellow glowing eyes directed at me were filled with such predatory hunger that I thought I would faint from fright.

As it turned, I noticed that the creature's back was much lower than its front, kind of like a hyena, but ten times the hyena's size. Probably more .

All that registered within a second while the beast sent its bellowing anger at me with its wide-open mouth.

A spear flew through the air and embedded itself in the beast's flank, but before I could rejoice that it had been hit, it bellowed again.

"Ah, fuck!" one of the guards yelled.

"No, Erickson, stay put!" Boyd yelled, but the other man must have taken off because the beast's attention moved from me to the group of guards.

As it rushed by me, so close, I could have petted its golden-brownish fur that looked surprisingly soft, I noticed a black mohawk going from between its ears all the way to the middle of its back.

Even though it looked like a hyena with pig's feet, it moved with a catlike grace, adding to its terrifying sight. And it was fast—so, so fast. Within a few leaps, it caught up to Erickson and brought the still-wildly running man down by jumping on his back.

Erickson's cry of pain was drowned out by a howl, which thankfully ripped me from my frozen state. I dashed forward to reach the Vandruks, hoping to find protection there.

From the corner of my eyes, I watched the other guards form a loose circle. Boyd pulled his sword since he had already thrown his spear. The spear!

In my haste to make it to the Vandruk warriors, I forgot about it, but now that I remembered, I looked around frantically. Even though a spear would probably not help me in any way, I would feel better having a weapon in my hand .

The Vandruk warriors unleashed a volley of arrows at the feasting beast as its big teeth ripped into the dead guard. The arrows might have been needles as some pricked its skin, but most fell off without doing any harm. The creature shook itself as if trying to dislodge a pesky fly and continued eating while the guards stood frozen in their defensive formation. I picked up the spear and joined the Vandruk warriors, sick to my stomach with fear and revulsion. I was glad the beast was busy for the time being. Despite a hot wave of shame washing over me, I pushed thoughts of what it was busy with away from me. I couldn't afford to think about poor Erickson right then.

Blood dripping from its massive snout, the predator turned toward the group of guards since they were closer. A mighty roar sent shivers of fear down my spine, but the guards straightened theirs and lifted their swords in an act of brave defiance.

Mak-Thar screamed first, a loud battle cry that ignited a spark of bravery inside me. Del-Khet fell in with him, and I, not knowing what else to do, followed the two warriors as they sprinted toward the group of humans, justifying that seven stood a better chance against the beast than four.

I didn't want to die here, not like this. Fear nearly incapacitated me, but somehow, I managed to raise my spear and stand with the others. I wasn't sure what I was more afraid of, death itself or being ripped to pieces, but I was too busy trying to stay on my wobbly legs to analyze this any further.

This time, the beast didn't charge us like it had Erickson. Instead, it approached us more cautiously as if it was weighing its options against us. I tried to grab onto some hope that maybe our numbers, if not our size, would intimidate the creature into leaving.

As if the warriors had the same idea, they began to move their swords through the air, screaming out their battle cries, and within a second, the guards picked up on it.

The beast roared, opened its mighty jaw, and once again, I realized that I could have easily stood inside it, which only made my legs tremble more. Sweat on my palms made it hard to keep a grip on my spear, but I managed, moving it back and forward like the men but didn't fall in with their loud shouting. One, because my throat was choked from fear. And two, I was aware that my high-pitched voice would probably have the opposite of the desired effect on the predator about to eat us.

One of its split hooves began to paw at the ground like an antagonized bull, and I steeled myself for the inevitable attack, deciding that if I had to die, I would go down fighting.