13. Chapter 13

I was getting used to how the sun moved across the horizon and anticipated our upcoming stop for the night. My feet and thighs burned from all the walking on uneven terrain. It seemed as if every step was either up or down. In some places, we had to climb steep ravines, where Vandruk warriors waited at the top to help whoever needed assistance.

The chitter-chatter of the women in the morning continued for a little while after our break. It died out again a couple of hours later as most were getting tired, unused to being on their feet all day. Thankfully, I didn't have that disadvantage because my job during the last year had kept me moving for hours. But by helping Dawn pull samples, she and I easily doubled the distance we were walking. That and being used to even ground was getting to me .

It wasn't as hard as the first day, though, especially now that we could approach any barbarian and ask for water whenever we were thirsty.

The first time I approached one, an hour after our break, during which I had failed to take in any nourishment, he seemed to anticipate what I needed and pulled out his waterskin.

Thankful, I nodded at him and took a long drink of the clear liquid that stayed surprisingly cool inside its container.

Before I gave it back to the barbarian, I raised it, shaking it slightly. "Water," I said, hoping he would understand what I was asking.

His brows furrowed for a moment, and I repeated, "Water."

He nodded. "Waro."

"Waro," I echoed, unsure if that was the word for water or the waterskin, but I satisfied myself with having learned another word. "Thank you."

Earlier I had seen the other women adding their backpacks to the loads the Vandruks were carrying, and I wondered if I had missed an announcement but preferred to keep my things close by. It wasn't that I didn't trust the Vandruks not to take something; it just made me feel better to keep my only possession with me in case… Well, we were on an alien plan; anything was possible.

"I'm beat," Dawn confessed when it was time for the night camp to be put up and sank down on a short incline that reminded me of a stair .

I sat down next to her. "Same. Are your coworkers going to pull their weight? I mean, Khadahr offered them this time. Otherwise, I'm sure we'd still be marching."

"They better because I don't think I can walk another step unless it's to get food," Dawn said, and we both absentmindedly watched a barbarian approach Willis's group.

"What's all that about?" Dawn asked when five of Willis's guards and the Vandruk took off into the wilderness.

I shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe he's going to teach them how to hunt."

I had no idea that this was exactly what was happening, but part of me wished I could go with them. If this was going to be my new home, I had a lot to learn about it. Gathering food was just one of those things.

Just like last night, the Vandruks began setting up tents for us and themselves. It didn't matter how much my body complained and my feet hurt; I felt compelled to offer my help. The warriors might be more used to walking like this, but I wasn't a prima donna who was going to sit by while they did all the work for us.

"I'm gonna go help," I told Dawn and stood up.

"You're a better person than me," she said with a wry smile and waved me on.

I knew better than to try and help lift and set up the poles, but I was able to shake out the furs and prepare beds once the first tent was up.

"What are you doing here?" Sandra snarled, unsurprisingly claiming the very first tent .

"I was about to make beds, but it seems to me you're fully capable of doing it yourself." I threw the pelt I had been shaking out on the ground and was about to brush by her, but her hand on my arm stopped me.

"You have to be everywhere; don't you?"

"I'm just trying to help. They can't do everything for us," I replied, hating how defensive my voice sounded.

"You may call it ‘helping'"—she made quotation marks in the air, I hated when people did that—"but in reality, it's plain snooping. Don't think I didn't see you yesterday, sneaking up on Khadahr and me. Did you get off on watching us fuck?"

Her words shouldn't have bothered me, but they were like little stabs to my heart. So she and Khadahr had had sex? Of all the things she said, it was those that stood out the most, and I couldn't help feeling envious and… betrayed. Although, I couldn't have said why.

Yes, Khadahr had asked for me to be included in this group, and for some reason my mind had built that up more than it was. And yes, we had spent a long time talking to one another. But ever since we got here, he made it pretty clear that he wasn't interested in me.

I ripped my arm free from her claws and noticed one of her manicured nails had chipped. It was petty of me, but I couldn't help feeling a bit gleeful over it.

"Think what you will. I wasn't following you or him," I said, as shame for my lie flushed my face, making her eyes sparkle in satisfaction over having called me out. "I didn't know you two were out there. "

"Well, be careful where you go tonight, or you'll accidentally stumble into us again," Sandra called after me as I finally made it out of the tent.

Outside, I took a deep breath, realizing how sticky it had gotten in the tent the moment Sandra had entered.

"What are you doing here, Putzfrau?" Erika called, rushing by me.

"Maybe she thinks cleaning our tent will get her into Sandra's good graces," Lexi snickered.

"Fat chance of that." The last of the group pushed by me.

I scanned the ground for a rock to kick but finally got a hold of my temper before I gave in to the childish urge.

More tents had been set up, and I hurried to help prepare the beds, hoping to lessen some of the warriors' various tasks.

"Why are you doing this?" Kenley asked when I finally sat down to eat.

"I just want to help out," I replied, biting into a yummy soft root, which I learned was called marrut.

"You should stop it. The others are talking," Kenley advised.

"What do you mean, talking?"

Kenley rolled her eyes, leaving me uncertain whether it was in response to my question or because the others were talking about me.

"I mean"—she took a deep breath—"that you're acting as if you are our cleaning staff, not a member of our group. "

I drew my brows together in confusion. "So instead of everybody pitching in to help as it should be, I'm now a Putzfrau ?" I asked, using Erika's favorite name for me.

"You know I don't think that," Kenley assured me, patting my hand. "I'm just warning you that the others are, and perceptions are important. I told you I'll help you get Khadahr, and I mean it. But you can't win him by acting like… like you don't belong to our group."

I blinked at Kenley, slowly digesting her words and calling myself a fool for having thought I could be friends with a girl like her. I wanted to still give her the benefit of the doubt, that she was truly only trying to warn me as she claimed, but it was hard. My distrustful nature sent loud alarm sirens through my brain.

"Well, it's too late for that anyway. According to Sandra, she and him are already an item," I said a bit petulantly.

"He hasn't made it official, though." If my words had derailed Kenley from her plan, she didn't show it. Instead, her features moved from one expression to another. "Hmm, that might give her an advantage, but I'm willing to bet you're still in the running." She nodded happily at me.

Tiredly, I stared out into the darkening sky. Did I really want to enter a competition against Sandra? For Khadahr?

As if reading my mind, Kenley took my hand. "Just think about how much better of a queen or whatever you'll be than she."

She had me there because I could imagine only too well what kind of queen or whatever Sandra would make. And since we would all have to live with her, I didn't like that prospect one bit .

"We don't even know if Khadahr is a king or whatever," I argued quietly, more to myself than to Kenley.

"No, you're right, we don't. But he's high up on the totem pole; don't you think? High enough to not want somebody like Sandra mated to him."

Her words followed me out into the bushes later when I went to relieve myself before bedtime. Instead of finding a bush, though, I stared up at the sky above me in wonder.

Denver had boasted some amazing views of the stars at night, especially in the wintertime and farther away from the city. But this, out here, was more magnificent than anything I could have ever imagined.

The sky looked different than ours on Earth, but it still surprised me that I could tell the difference without having ever truly studied the stars at night before. I had looked at them like everybody else, but I hadn't realized that, somehow, I must have memorized a certain imprint that I wasn't seeing now.

The moon was easy to distinguish from ours. It shimmered green and was dimly surrounded by something that looked like a belt, like Saturn. Was it still a moon then, or a planet? Mesmerized, I kept staring at it, and the longer I did, the more I could see the outlines of the belt.

Nobody had ever been able to pinpoint where Vandruk was located. They had tried to using this moon as a point of reference. Still, nothing in our galaxy had looked like anything similar to it. Vandruk could be millions of lightyears away, and we would never know .

It was still getting darker, even though the sun had long vanished behind the mountains. Now I could make out a nebula east of the moon, it took my breath away. Never would I have expected to see something like this.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Khadahr's voice startled me, and I think I jumped a couple of feet in the air.

"I've never seen anything like this," I croaked, willing my heart rate down. Instead, it picked up a notch at Khadahr's nearness.

"We call it Koranae," he said in a deep voice.

"That's beautiful." I repeated the word in my head, Koranae .

"You call it nebula, sa?"

"Yes," I confirmed, thinking of Matt, who Khadahr said had taught him his excellent English. I hoped he was okay even though I had never met him.

"Matt said the nebula is caused by gases and debris, birthing new stars."

"I don't know," I admitted, having never learned much about astronomy and kicking myself for it now. But who would have thought I would need it? "It sounds nice, though."

"Our people believe it's the place where all the spirits go when they leave a body," Khadahr confided, and I held my breath, staring at him instead of the incredible spectacle up in the sky. He was the most handsome man I had ever seen. His chiseled features were dipped in shadows now, pronouncing his cheekbones and his sunken cheeks more.

I waited for him to say more, and when he didn't, I said, "That is even more beautiful." Meaning it because the notion of it being true tugged at my heart. Life after death was another thing I hadn't given much thought to, even after my mother's death, or maybe because of it. I didn't want to convince myself that I would never see her again, but neither did I want to fool myself into believing that I would. Death to me was something inevitable but far out in the future, something I successfully managed not to think about too much or too often.

The Vandruks' idea, though, of souls being risen into this spectacular nebula filled me with warmth and hope. Would my mom have found her way there, even millions of lightyears away?