25. Kai

Kai woke to snoring.

And it was the best sound in the world.

Better than the birds singing in the trees or the metallic clink of gold coins clattering together in a velvet bag.

He opened his eyes and turned his head to find Xiang stretched out on his stomach, one arm thrown across Kai’s waist, and his face half buried in a pillow as he slept deeply. The room was almost completely dark except for a thin line of light creeping in from under the door.

He didn’t know how much time had passed since they’d escaped the fae. Vague memories of flying, falling, and being cared for by Xiang and Ming Yu danced through his brain. Most of all, he recalled being held by Xiang as his body healed from his injuries, while Xiang whispered promises of retribution and endless games of weiqi. His sweet vampire had been worried about him.

But Xiang jumping in to rescue him had placed the vampire in great danger. There had been only him and Rei against countless members of the fae. Luck was the only thing that had gotten them away from there alive.

The next time, fate might not be so generous.

And there would be a next time. Queen Belladonna had come so close to breaking him. She would not let this go. Not when she could possess him completely. All she had to do was strike during the daylight hours—the time the vampires were at their most vulnerable. She’d be able to snag herself a dragon and the son who’d turned on her.

No, this had to stop. He couldn’t continue to put Xiang and his clan in danger. This was his mess. He’d been the one who’d not taken adequate steps to protect his hoard. He was the one who’d lost the heart of his hoard, making him vulnerable to the fae. If this disaster was to end, he had to be the one to fix it.

But that meant leaving Xiang.

His entire body ached at the idea of not holding his Xiang again. He’d rather have died spiked to the fae’s courtyard than not see the vampire.

He could tell himself that he could return to Xiang’s side after he destroyed the fae, but he knew deep down he wouldn’t survive that confrontation. He only hoped to at least take Queen Belladonna’s life before he lost his own.

Carefully, Kai slid out from under Xiang’s arm and climbed to his feet. His legs were weak and wobbled under him, but most of the pain was now gone. With a wave of his hand, he dressed in a pair of jeans, a black T-shirt, and soft boots—something to match his bleak mood.

Looking at Xiang, he drank up the sight of the man’s bare skin and his tousled dark hair as it covered tiny glimpses of his face. He would cherish every memory he had of their time together. Every second of their shared past was a rare gem, more valuable than all the treasures in his hoard.

As he was leaving, Kai waved his hand and the black weiqi stone that had been sitting in the pit of Xiang’s stomach now rested in his palm. After giving it a bitter smile, he shoved it into his pocket.

The rest of the house was silent as he strolled along the winding hallway. He peeked through doorways to find the common area rooms were all empty. The more distantly spaced bedrooms were filled with the soft breaths of the sleeping and some bits of whispered conversation. Out the windows, he glimpsed darks skies slowly turning to paler shades of gray with the rising sun.

Wanting to walk through old memories one last time, Kai passed through the kitchen and was about to step onto the rear porch when he found Junjie sitting on the edge, a fat orange cat stretched out across his lap. The low guttural purr was ridiculously loud coming from such a tiny creature, but its pleasure was clear with every pass of Junjie’s hand over his stomach.

“You shouldn’t leave,” Junjie murmured before Kai could retreat into the house unnoticed.

Kai hesitated. It would be nothing to erase the memory of Junjie seeing him that morning, but it felt disrespectful after everything they’d been through and how this clan had accepted him within their ranks.

To his surprise, he sat on the edge of the porch next to the vampire, watching as Junjie stroked that thick orange and white fur again and again. There was something peaceful about being near Junjie. Xiao Dan was almost as peaceful, but there was a weight to his presence as well because of his position as head of the clan. A nervousness crept into Kai around Xiao Dan, wanting his approval because he knew that mattered to Xiang.

But with Junjie, there was a quiet stillness that he wanted to soak in for as long as possible.

“Are you feeling better?” Junjie inquired, as he moved his hand to scratch the cat’s chin. Its big yellow eyes closed, and the purring grew even louder. It was enough to make him wonder what it would feel like if Xiang scratched his belly while he was in dragon form.

No!

No belly scratches!

He was supposed to be leaving, getting away from Xiang so he and the entire Zhang clan would be safe.

“I’m feeling much better now. Thank you for your help and concern.”

“Why do you think leaving Xiang is a good idea?” Junjie asked. “Has he not shown his love and willingness to sacrifice himself for you?”

Ouch.

For all his quiet, Kai had not expected the vampire to be so blunt. However, he could not fault him for his direct approach or his concern for his clan mate.

“I’m afraid that Xiang is too willing to sacrifice himself. The risk he and Rei took was too great to rescue me. While I appreciate their efforts, I don’t want them to put themselves in danger like that again.” Resting his elbow on his knee, Kai bent his head and shoved his hand through his hair before resting his forehead on his hand.

“Xiang and Rei are both adults capable of deciding for themselves. They’re also trained fighters, experienced in deadly battles. They understand the risks and their own limitations. Leaving now shows that you don’t respect Xiang’s ability to decide.”

Kai frowned at the man next to him, but Junjie kept his eyes locked on the cat, who continued to stretch out more and more in his lap. “This isn’t about Xiang’s abilities or disrespecting his autonomy. I’m afraid he is allowing his emotions to cloud his judgments. He and Rei went up against hundreds, if not thousands, of fae to rescue me. It’s a miracle they survived. That was not a sound decision. It was a decision based on…on…”

“Love?”

Kai huffed and shifted his head to rest his chin in the palm of his hand, his glare now directed at the garden in front of them. He had no experience with that emotion. He wasn’t entirely sure any dragon understood love. They were creatures of power, duty, and obsession. Where was love supposed to fit into that?

He knew Xiang was his and belonged in his hoard. The crown jewel of his hoard, really. As much as he wanted to keep him within his hoard, he couldn’t. He couldn’t protect Xiang, and if he truly valued him, he needed to remove the danger from that precious item. In this case, he was the danger to his precious gem.

“Leaving will protect Xiang and all of your clan,” Kai stated after a lengthy silence. “My last two encounters with Queen Belladonna have proved to me that I’m not strong enough to defeat her. It is only a matter of time before she summons me again. I will give up my life rather than follow her orders, but what if I don’t die in time? I don’t wish to harm any of you.”

“And you believe that if you leave us now, you’ll be able to stop her from ordering you to kill Xiang or anyone in our clan?”

Kai said nothing as he watched the wind stir the leaves in the trees. The faint light from the garden lamps and the glow from the house caught on raindrops clinging to the leaves, causing them to glisten and wink in the darkness. At first, he thought about flying around the world, to return to China and put as much distance between himself and the fae. Maybe that would weaken the power the sword held over him.

But running would still leave the Zhang clan and the humans with the problem of the fae. Was he not the same dragon who ended the drought and saved the village at the request of Huangdi? Had he not kept the rivers full and flowing so the traders could move their goods from town to town, feeding countless humans? He might always keep apart from the humans, but he never turned a blind eye to their suffering when he could help them.

So, he was forming a new plan where he would attack the fae stronghold, catching them by surprise and hopefully defeating the queen before she could regain her full strength. If he could kill Queen Belladonna, maybe the Zhang clan and the others would have an easier time of forcing the fae from this world. Even if he died in the fight, he’d be happy knowing that Xiang was safer.

“Did you know Xiang killed his own father?”

Junjie’s softly spoken words jerked Kai from his thoughts. He sat upright, blinking at the vampire, waiting for him to continue.

“Xiang is a jerk,” Junjie said, and Kai bristled. The cat in Junjie’s lap rolled over and growled at Kai as if it could sense his growing anger, but Junjie ignored them both. “Xiang joined the Sword of the Heavenly Garden Sect at the same time as me. He was loud, obnoxious, and constantly challenged anyone he encountered to a fight as if he needed to prove himself to the world. His father was a powerful politician in Emperor Wu’s government. He sent Xiang to the sect with the goal of Xiang becoming a general in the emperor’s army.”

“Is that not what Xiang wanted?”

One of Junjie’s slender shoulders lifted in a careless shrug. “I don’t think he ever thought about what he wanted for the future. His father was the type to make declarations, and everyone would follow his orders without thinking. The only thing he instilled in Xiang ahead of their parting was that Xiang needed to protect the emperor.”

The orange cat stretched in Junjie’s lap with a couple of scratches to one ear, but he was now keeping a very close eye on Kai. No matter. Kai ignored the strange creature, all his focus on this little snippet from Xiang’s past.

“After we became vampires, the emperor commanded us to kill some conspirators. When we arrived at the manor that night, we discovered Xiang’s father meeting with two of the emperor’s brothers and another nobleman. Emperor Wu was sick and dying. They were concerned with who he would choose as his heir to the Dragon Throne. After two thousand years, I’m still not convinced they were truly conspiring against the emperor. Their concern was for the well-being of the nation. I don’t believe Xiang thinks his father was a traitor, either. But the emperor ordered him to dispatch all suspected conspirators, and his father taught him to always protect the emperor.”

“So, he killed his father…” Kai whispered.

Junjie grunted, his hand stilling in the cat’s fur. “He followed his training. But ever since then, Xiang has grown even more brash and obnoxious. He’s trying to keep everyone at arm’s length, so he never has to suffer such a pain again. I believe he feels he’s tainted from that night. He now hides his true feelings from even his clan.” Turning his head to Kai, Junjie lifted one corner of his mouth in a small smile and seemed to light a spark of hope within Kai. “Except that has changed since he returned from being your prisoner. When he laughs, you can feel his happiness. It’s no longer edged with harsh bitterness. The shadows have left his eyes, and I no longer see him brooding alone. It’s as if he’s shed centuries of self-loathing and embraced this light that you’ve brought into his life.”

Kai’s hand slipped to cover his heart as it sped up within his chest. Had he done that? Had he truly brought a light into Xiang’s life? Helped him to shed old guilt without even knowing it?

It made him long to run back to Xiang’s room and embrace him anew, to smother him with kisses, and never let him go. He wanted to be the reason he felt joy and hope again. He didn’t want him going another second through life doubting his own worthiness.

“I don’t want Xiang to be hurt because of me,” Kai admitted.

“Love is hard. Chen would point out that we all take chances when we give our hearts to another. Vampires may be near immortal and more difficult to kill than humans, but that doesn’t mean we’re still not at risk of dying or losing those we love. But if we don’t take that chance, if we don’t grab ahold of that happiness even for a little while, what’s the fucking point?” Junjie surprised him by leaning close and bumping his shoulder against his arm. When Kai looked up at him, the vampire was wearing a broad grin. “Yichen found a way to trust and even love his own enemy. So what if you’re an ancient dragon who could kill us all? Xiang trusts you won’t, and that’s enough for everyone else.”

A choked laugh escaped Kai, and he had to look away in order to control his own grin. “Your clan is in more danger from the cat in your lap than me.”

The cat in question let out a hiss and jumped from Junjie’s lap. The orange creature trotted across the backyard, its tail flicking from side to side as it disappeared among the trees.

Junjie frowned at the cat for a moment before turning his attention to Kai. “Are you going to stay? I don’t know if your life is happier with Xiang in it, but I can say that you’ve brought him a great amount of joy. He would be heartbroken if you left him.”

“And I’m supposed to accept that he’s throwing himself into harm’s way for my sake? Do you not understand that my every instinct is to grab him and hide him away within my hoard so that nothing can ever touch him?” Kai held his hands out in front of him, his fingers curled as if they were claws. He was torn between running far away and clinging to Xiang so they could never be separated.

Maybe he was going about this all wrong.

Maybe he should take Xiang and run away so no one could ever reach them. They could go back to hiding in his hoard and blocking out the rest of the world.

No. That was wrong, too. Xiang wouldn’t be happy without his clan.

“Love is hard,” Junjie repeated.

Kai glared at the vampire. “Talking to you is not very satisfying.”

“Let me make it easy.” Junjie leaned close to Kai. This time, his face twisted into a fierce scowl. “If you leave Xiang, you’re going to hurt him worse than Queen Belladonna and the fae ever could. And if you hurt Xiang, I will hunt you down and you’ll wish Belladonna had killed you.”

“I thought you said Xiang was a jerk.”

Junjie straightened and grunted softly. “He is a jerk, but he’s also my brother, and no one is allowed to hurt him.”

He could respect that.

“Then I will stay, but I demand that you and the rest of your clan help me keep Xiang alive. I don’t want him hurt by the fae. Even if it means killing me to protect him.”

The vampire’s expression softened, and he nodded. Lifting one hand, he brushed away some hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. “We’ll keep him safe as best we can.”

Kai pushed to his feet and brushed off the seat of his jeans. “Now I must locate Rei and Moon. I need their help in getting a gift for Xiang as a thank-you for rescuing me.”

Junjie glanced at the sky and snorted. “If you’re going out, I’d make it fast. The sun will be up in less than an hour and you know there’s no way Chen is going to like having his mate out with the sun so close to rising.”

That was true, but he needed Moon. He’d been human the most recent among them, and the strange man had some interesting ideas. He wanted to surprise Xiang with something unique. Gems and swords would not cut it this time.