EPISODE NINETY SIX THE UTILITY OF CODPIECES

EPISODE NINETY SIX

THE UTILITY OF CODPIECES

R egina tripped up to them, eyes shining, her lips curved in a cheerful smile. Good evening! she cried. Shall we go into supper now?

I have a wretched headache and must return home, Daisy said. Lord Devin is escorting me to the entry so that I can sit down while waiting for my mother.

Oh, do you feel faint? Regina sounded sympathetic, but she looked eager. Of course, you must leave. It s all those layers of satin. She flipped open her fan and leaned close. You must be horribly sweaty. If you don t mind my mentioning it, your face is quite red and blotchy.

The hapless countess had chosen to sink into her husband s arms in the doorway, which was vastly irritating. On the other hand, all the guests were focused on her operatic moans and paying no attention to the way Lord Devin-Miles-was plastered to Daisy s back.

I suppose it s the heat, Regina continued, closing her fan. Do you see spots before your eyes, Miss Wharton?

She is unsteady on her feet, Miles put in. Perhaps the heat combined with champagne.

I didn t drink any champagne! Daisy protested.

Regina beamed up at Miles. I wondered why you were being so attentive. Of course you are standing ready to catch Miss Wharton, like a knight in shining armor. She began vigorously waving her fan, presumably to cool Daisy s face.

Lady Regina, I have been invited to dine at the Duke and Duchess of Trent s table, Miles said. Would you be so kind as to inform them that I shall join you once Miss Wharton is safely in her mother s care?

Regina s eyes lit up. Of course! I shall leave through the other entrance, shall I? Since the countess has been so inconsiderate as to faint in that doorway.

Daisy swallowed hard as Regina trotted away. He It moved .

I apologize. Miles s voice was gruff, quite unlike the gentlemanly Lord Devin s usual accent. I cannot control it, Daisy. No gentleman could, not pressed up against you like this. You are so damned delectable.

Daisy was dying to see his expression, but she was afraid of what hers might reveal. She ought to be horrified, and she didn t trust her own acting abilities to convey disgust. In fact, her face might well show humiliating eagerness.

I was under the impression that such reactions were reserved for the bedchamber, she said, schooling her voice to a ladylike tenor.

Generally yes. I am glad not to have shocked you to the marrow, but very occasionally a man does lose control. I suspect that is why my ancestors wore codpieces, Miles said thoughtfully.

Are you making a joke?

Of a sort. I do have a sense of humor.

Not that I ve noticed. At any rate, codpieces make sense. She flipped open her fan and hid behind it again. Her knees were trembling, and every instinct told her to snuggle backward against his body-which would be the most scandalous action of her life.

No one had ever called her delectable before. She didn t think anyone had ever found her delectable.

Just to clarify, you rarely find yourself in this state? she inquired.

In front of her, the countess was in a fit of full-blown hysterics, and behind her, Miles was laughing so hard that he was likely to convulse as well. Never. Not at my age, he managed.

I don t see what s so funny, Daisy observed. How am I to know such things? I wouldn t have imagined men being plagued by this sort of occurrence, but now I think on it, why else would our ancestors have worn codpieces? Those adornments look so silly, strung with ribbons and bows.

I expect that the stockings they wore would have revealed far more than modern pantaloons. Miles cleared his throat. Are you deliberately leaning against me?

No! She jerked forward, but his hand held her in place: close, but not too close.

I ll be damned if I don t feel as out of control as a lad of fifteen, he rumbled.

Daisy felt a wash of pleasurable happiness spiked with mischief. Missing your ancestral codpiece, are you? In a fit of madness, she did lean back against him, swallowing a gasp as their bodies connected more firmly.

His hand tightened on her hip. Did you know that I can look directly down your bodice?

She straightened. Really? My mother chose this design with fervent attention to disguising the fleshier parts of my body.

Why are you wrinkling your nose? Do you not like your figure?

This is a silly conversation, Daisy said. As it happens, I do like my figure.

As do I.

A wave of happiness washed over her. Miles had never given the impression that he considered her fat and unkempt. The evidence was to the contrary, her mind helpfully suggested. Leaning against him had confirmed it.

She turned her head up and smiled a thank you for his compliment. He had never looked at her with an expression like the one on his face now: amused, desirous, intimate-as far from the chilly lord of her experience as possible.

As if they were not only friends, but lovers.

I used to make jokes, Miles said, out of the blue.

Daisy blinked and tried to focus on that, rather than her shameless instincts. What muzzled your sense of humor?

Managing investigations for the House of Lords. Most of the cases are dark. Depressing, to be frank.

Such as my uncle s treason case?

You and Frederick made that case more pleasurable.

That s surprising, Daisy observed. I thought you found me excruciatingly annoying.

No.

Are you certain? Because I am fairly certain that most everyone does.

What? He sounded startled.

Find me annoying. The words rushed out of her mouth. My cousin is the only person who can bear to be around me for long periods of time. My mother finds me irritating, my father told me once that he flees to the country merely to avoid my chatter, and my uncle loathed me.

Your uncle. His voice was flat. If I were you, I would not take his disapprobation as an insult.

He did threaten to throw my cousin overboard, Daisy confessed.

His own daughter?

Daisy nodded. He judged my laughter licentious, so I expect I would have had the same fate as poor Jeremy Tulip had I boarded his ship. Which I never would have done, since I abhorred him, she added. Our dislike was mutual.

I applaud your judgment. How did we move to such a sour topic?

It stemmed naturally from your deficient sense of humor, Daisy said.

You make me laugh, Miles said.

In front of them, the lady s husband caught her under her arms in an ungainly grasp and dragged her into the foyer.

Daisy let out a relieved sigh. We can walk again.

Miles shook his head. Not quite yet. He cleared his throat, easing away from her body. I would prefer not to shock ladies less worldly than you.

Lord Devin. She frowned up at him. I trust that you are not drawing invidious conclusions about me based on this unfortunate accident.

I apologize for that implication. Their eyes met; his were dark with an expression she found very easy to interpret. You were to call me Miles, he said, his voice dropping to an even lower register.

Daisy bit her lip, suddenly feeling shy. They talked so easily together, but most of the time she hadn t been looking into his eyes, which were seemingly full of bottomless emotion. Now it felt as if the room fell away, along with her fear of scandal and her trepidation about her mother s health. As if the world shrank to just the two of them.

Her breath caught in her throat because his direct look spoke to something deep and frightening within her. She had shrugged off Lord Devin s derisive statements and scalding looks. She had teased him when he appeared horrified at the idea of wooing her.

But when he was Miles rather than Lord Devin? She felt vulnerable.

Surely this simple conversation couldn t have stolen away her bravado and her immunity. Was it due to the fact he had saved her reputation, or the fact that he desired her?

I should like to be escorted directly to a bench in the entry, and a footman sent to summon my mother, she said, pulling herself together.

He nodded, the teasing light falling from his eyes. Of course.

A moment later she dropped onto the bench, which led to the odd sensation of buttoned velvet against her bottom. Miles bowed and kissed her hand, his lips lingering for a second longer than prescribed before he bade her good evening and left to find Lady Wharton.

Daisy s mother didn t appear for a good ten minutes, and then she was clucking with annoyance. Why must we leave?

My gown is ripped.

A maid can repair your hem, her mother said impatiently. Lady Castlereigh and I are in the midst of a most curative conversation. All is forgiven and forgotten as far as my brother is concerned.

Mother, Daisy hissed, the back of my gown is gone .

What do you mean, gone ?

It fell off on the dancefloor. She plucked up the panel of satin covering her leg, just enough so that her mother could see her chemise.

As I live and breathe! Lady Wharton squealed. Her head whipped left and right. The butler was fully occupied helping a lady put on her pelisse. It could only happen to you. Other women tear a hem, but you tear off your entire gown.

The modiste warned that the fabric was overly heavy for the bodice, Daisy stated, not in the mood to accept her mother s judgment.

Did anyone see your shame? she hissed.

Almost no one. Since sitting on this bench, I have not moved.

The butler approached with their pelisses. As Daisy stood, her mother craned her neck to see her rear and let out a squeak of dismay.

They were in the carriage before Lady Wharton picked up the topic. You said almost no one saw? Please tell me Lady Regina wasn t in your vicinity. I saw her speaking to you and Lord Devin earlier in the evening. She seems to have set her sights on his lordship, since she was hanging on his arm at the supper table.

Daisy s mouth tightened, but Miles was not hers, no matter how intense the feelings that sprang up between them this evening. Regina did not see my mishap.

Who did?

Actually, it was Lord Devin. He kindly walked behind me so that no one could see my rear.

The best possible outcome, her mother declared, somewhat surprisingly. That man will never tell tales. From what I understand, he knows all the most disreputable secrets of the peerage, but he never gossips. I shall discreetly thank him tomorrow.

Daisy raised an eyebrow. Tomorrow?

Lady Castlereigh has invited us to join her at a dinner in honor of her nephew s betrothal to Lord Devin s sister Clementine, her mother said proudly. Lord Devin will be in attendance, of course.

Daisy dropped her gaze just in time to conceal the blaze of joy that went through her.

I suspect that Lord Devin feels partially responsible for your uncle s absence in your life, Lady Wharton mused. After all, his apoplexy was the direct result of the investigation he led.

Daisy believed her uncle s death was ultimately caused by his sheer outrage, stemming from the fear that he-a member of the peerage-might actually be convicted.

This evening Lady Castlereigh made such a wise observation, her mother continued. In the Bible, God asks Cain where Abel is, and he says, Am I my brother s keeper? The answer is no, of course he is not.

Daisy frowned. I think the import of that verse is the opposite. Cain was supposed to care about Abel s whereabouts.

Nonsense! I trust you are not setting yourself up to disagree with the biblical interpretations of a peer of the realm ! It took you forever merely to learn to read. Why, you must have been five years old by the time you mastered your ABCs.

She leaned over and patted Daisy s knee. Not that I blame you for that sluggishness. You learned how to read in the end, and that s all that matters. Lady Castlereigh says

Daisy stopped listening. Miles had instructed her to call him by his first name-did that mean they were courting? Perhaps he would pay her a call tomorrow morning or ask her to go for a drive in Hyde Park.

He didn t find her fat and unkempt. He said she was sophisticated. He thought she was funny.

More importantly, he wanted her. The more Daisy thought about it, the more certain she was that he would pay a call tomorrow morning.

She went to sleep with a smile on her lips.