EPISODE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN THE TRUTH CAN BE MORE PAINFUL THAN LIES

EPISODE ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN

THE TRUTH CAN BE MORE PAINFUL THAN LIES

D aisy woke up slowly. Her cheek was crushed against a strong male shoulder. She dimly remembered going to sleep next to Frederick, but this was not Frederick. After only a few hours of marriage, she already recognized her husband s particular mix of spice and clean linen.

Miles slept like a cat, quiet and self-possessed. One of his arms clamped her to his side and the other curved around her waist. He looked

He looked male and satisfied and rather pleased with himself.

Which was absurd, since his bride had left him, planning to move abroad.

While she was still thinking about his expression, his long eyelashes fluttered. They looked black from afar, but this close they were thick and brown, like mink fur. Sculpted cheekbones, deep bottom lip, strong chin His beauty registered like a thump of her heart.

If only- if only -she felt equal to him. If she were Regina, but kinder. The daughter of a duke, slim, beautiful, always neat, never impulsive.

Your expression is so bleak, he said, focusing on her face.

How did he imagine she would look? Happy to see him?

Daisy lifted the arm that anchored her to his side and pushed it away. This has been a horrible day. The wedding, remember? Followed by both husband and wife realizing that they had made a mistake.

I didn t realize that, he said.

The ache in her chest felt sharp, as if a claw had reached into her body and pierced her heart. Actually, you said precisely that. Why are you here, Miles? Our marriage, such as it is, is over. Her voice sounded ragged, almost timid. She had to pull herself together and be the strong, independent woman Belle deserved. I left you.

Actually, I left you.

That too. Somehow their feet had entangled, their thighs pressed together. Daisy pulled her legs away from his, wrenching her gown down until it covered her ankles. Would you please rise so that I can get up?

Miles shook his head. No. I didn t mean to leave you permanently. You re my wife.

Not legally, she pointed out.

I m sorry that I left before making love to you. I was an ass.

You were, she agreed, not in a mood to prevaricate.

Then allow me to apologize properly.

Given the flare of hunger in Miles s eyes, Daisy knew exactly what he intended before his head lowered. Her mouth instinctively opened to his. His kiss was raw and sexual, making the ache in her chest intensify as she fought his erotic pull.

She couldn t allow Miles to make love to her, not only because it would make their marriage legal, but because a true marriage to him would break her heart into even smaller pieces.

We belong together, he whispered, drawing back.

No, she said, shaking her head. Somehow, while sleeping, her thoughts had moved from chaotic despair to concrete logic. We desire each other, but that s not enough. Lust doesn t prevent people from behaving horribly toward each other. We have that, but it s all we have. Thankfully, her voice didn t sound as breathless as she felt. I can t control how you feel about me, but I can control how much your disrespect affects me. And how much it affects Belle.

He opened her mouth, but she shook her head again. I know I deserve your insults. I lied to you. I did go to your house, rather than to Frederick s, because I considered myself in love with you. I did not plan to lure you into marriage. I honestly thought you had likely fathered children and could hide Belle amongst them. But I did lie to you about her parentage. I apologize for that falsehood, Miles. I am truly sorry that my stupid behavior changed your life so drastically.

His brows pulled together, his eyes darkening. Just like that, his face transformed from the countenance of a patrician highborn lord to that of a regular human. Daisy s heart thumped again. She adored her scowling, lustful husband far more than the gentleman she d initially fallen in love with, the man with sculpted cheekbones and elegant clothing.

Luckily, we aren t yet truly married, she continued, clearing her throat. Not legally. There s time for both of us to reconsider this rash decision. I have rethought it. You may not have had the time, but I am certain you agree with me. Inside, you agree with me.

We have more than desire, Miles said, his frown deepening. There s Belle, for one thing.

Daisy scowled back at him. Belle is mine.

She s mine as well. You gave her to me.

Nonsense. You called her a prostitute s get. Do you really think that I should allow you to father her after that insult?

His face was a complicated mix of regret and anger. I apologize wholeheartedly for that insult. I spoke in anger, and I will never say anything like that about Belle ever again. She is yours. I understand that.

Our marriage was a farce, easily annulled. I m taking Belle, my daughter, to Brussels. She pushed back against the couch. Please don t make me clamber over you.

We have more between us than Belle, Miles said stubbornly.

Back to lust. Daisy sighed. Our vows were meaningless. I can t stay married to you.

Why not?

She took a deep breath and then just told him the truth. Underneath the desire, you despise me. You probably always considered me too young and impulsive, but after lying to you and forcing you into marriage? There s no way forward for us, Miles. I can t do it. Despite herself, her voice splintered, but she reached for control again.

Daisy-

Move aside! She pushed his arm, and he drew back. She inelegantly scrambled over him to get off the couch and stand up. She must look a sight. Her dress was rumpled, and heavy coils of hair had fallen down her back.

But that was just as well. Miles might as well see her for the last time without the veneer of fine dressing: short, ungraceful, messy, so much less than he was.

Her head hurt. And her heart hurt.

He rose, and she turned to face him rather than fleeing the room because he deserved an explanation; news of the annulment would soon be the talk of all society. Once she left for the continent, he would be left to brave the scandal.

Her breath hitched when their eyes met, but she forced herself to get the words out. After the ceremony this morning, I asked you not to make me feel unlovable. She paused to take a breath because it felt as if her throat were tightening, and her voice had a humiliating wobble.

I apologize, Miles said. I never wanted to hurt you, Daisy.

She believed him. He was a perfect gentleman, after all. He would never want to hurt her feelings-or any other woman s.

Daisy waved her hand. Perhaps you shouldn t have shared your opinion of me on our wedding day.

He opened his mouth, but she shook her head.

Yet I would have learned how you felt the first time we argued. I can t do it, Miles. I thought I could marry someone who didn t love me, and that my love would be enough for both of us. I was wrong. Her hands twisted together. You should marry someone you respect.

I do respect you.

She sighed. You never wanted to marry me , did you? You never courted me. In fact, when I coupled you and Frederick as my suitors, you actually paled. Your first proposal occurred after my gown fell apart, and your second because I brought a baby to your house. Neither is a solid foundation for a marriage.

Is it my turn to speak?

Daisy shook her head. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you didn t decide I was too foolish and impulsive to be your wife. That you didn t plan to find a wife who was well-groomed and eager to discuss political events rather than read scandalous novels. That there wasn t a part of you that was glad when my mother refused your proposal. That part of you didn t rage when Regina walked into your room, and I blurted out that the baby was mine and you realized that you were trapped.

Miles opened his mouth-and then closed it.

It felt as if the air thickened during his painful silence.

All those things are true.