Chapter 21

CIARA

I don't know why the idea hits me, or where it comes from.

I'm clearly more twisted than I knew.

I've spent the last five years on the run, hiding from Robert, determined not to let him catch me. My dreams have been filled with horrific chases that woke me panting, clammy. Terrified.

And yet, in this moment, I want to be chased.

My hands are shaking as I bring them up to stroke Red's cheeks. She catches them with her own, and places a kiss against my right palm. The touch of her lips sears my skin, as if branding me as hers.

"Ciara, talk to me."

"I…" I don't know how to ask for what I want anymore. It's been too long; too many years have passed, since I was bright-eyed and confident, asking for what I wanted, what I needed. And I need this. I need this more than I think I've needed anything.

Red leans down and kisses me so gently I think I might cry. Soft lips move against mine, and she uses my hands to pull me closer against her. Her tongue runs along the seam of my mouth and I open for her, so she can taste me.

When we break apart, coming up for air, we're both breathing heavily.

"I will kiss you some more, but not until you have told me what is on your mind."

Making eye contact right now feels like a whole lot, and I look around for somewhere to sit, instead. Sitting down and talking feels safe, feels decorous. Standing feels… well, it feels like something is about to happen.

"I'm Pack, yes?"

"Yes."

"Which means that on some level, I'm a wolf."

Red pulls a face, but doesn't argue the point. "I suppose so. What of it?"

"Well… wolves like to run." I am stating the obvious. Comprehension does not show on Red's face. "I'd like to run. With you."

"We can do that," she goes to move, but I squeeze her hands and silently plead for her to stay in place. She stops moving and looks at me. "Ciara?"

"Maybe I'd like to run from you. Not as in I want to run away, but rather I want to run and have you run after me."

"You want me to chase you?" The comprehension I'd been hoping to see slowly dawns on Red's face, and her next sentence isn't a question, it's a statement. "You want me to catch you."

Swallowing, I nod, and peek up at her face. "Does that sound like something you might like to do?"

She growls then, low and rumbly and it is the least threatening sound I've ever heard. It is also the most erotic. "And what'll I do with you when I catch you?"

I shiver. "Whatever you wish."

Her eyes darken, and there is a lust there that should scare me. It doesn't. Everything Red has done in the last few days has proven to me that I can trust, even if I can trust no one else. "Give me a word, Ciara mine, so that when I catch you, I know that you are good. And a word that tells me that you would like to stop."

Safewords. That seems more than sensible. I don't want to use the traffic light system—that's what I used with Robert, or tried to use. He was never very good with safewords.

Something of that memory must have flickered across my face, because she's kissing me again, as if kissing me can wipe away the pain of years. And even if it can't quite do that, it comes pretty close. "Pack," I decide. "Pack is my ‘I'm alright' word. And I'd like to use ‘pause' as my stop word." Pack feels like safety, and so that makes the most sense, but I don't want to try and code other words with a negative connotation. Pause already has the meaning I need it to, and I am very unlikely to call it out in the midst of play.

Because that is what this feels like, play.

"Would you like to use the same words?"

"Me?" Red is taken aback. "I'm the one chasing; why should I need the words?"

"Because," I say, going up onto my tiptoes so that I can tug at her ear with my teeth. She hisses her pleasure and that dangerous desire in her eyes deepens. "I want to be able to look after you, as much as you look after me."

The concept is clearly alien to her, that others might look after her, the Dark Goddess, but her face softens and she's clearly not adverse to the idea. "Fine, Ciara. I shall have words too. Now, anything else you'd like to say?"

I glance down at my bare feet, and she nods. A wave of her hands and there my own trainers are on my feet.

"I wouldn't usually do such magic," she admits. "But for an occasion such as this…"

I fidget on the spot, ready to take off running. Ready to be caught.

She kisses me one more. Hard. So hard that I feel my lips throb when she pulls back from me. "Run."

The word electrifies me, shooting through my veins and wakening every slumbering desire that I'd put aside. And it makes me run.

I head off round the side of the lake, following the well-trodden path as that seems the most sensible route to take. It feels glorious, running. For a moment, I forget about Red, pursuing me, and I just breathe deeply, taking in the air, the sights, the sensations of it all.

It's not like any running I've done before. I feel the Pack, deep in my soul, urging me on, and I almost raise my head to howl to the sky. The power in this, in my own strength, that I didn't even know I had.

All of a sudden, I can see myself in a hunt, running at the back, being nudged along by patient wolves who don't mind playing babysitter with the two-legged interloper. Pack is almost everything that I don't know I needed.

And Red makes up the rest.