36. Winter

Brett and Celiainsisted that we stay on the property. Thankfully, they had a cozy yurt next to the stable. I could tell Asher wasn't keen on staying under the same roof as his dad when everything was still so fresh.

His backup plan was to drive all night back to Hade Harbor, and there was no way either of us was in the right shape for that.

"Thank you so much," I told Celia as she took us to the yurt.

It was cute, and they apparently used it for glamping when people came to stay on the ranch. She showed us around the one-room place, looking nervously at Asher. He'd been quiet since we'd left the farmhouse.

"Are you sure you'll be okay out here?" she fretted.

"Don't worry about us." I jerked my thumb at Asher. "This one is the outdoorsy type. We'll be fine."

She nodded, still seeming concerned, but left us to it.

"So, this is nice. I'm so tired." I forced a chipper tone. It was clear which one of us was going to have to make the best of this situation. Asher didn't seem to be home right now. I unpacked the little bag I'd grabbed from the cabin, though there wasn't much in it aside from my underwear and camera.

After that, I rummaged around in the fridge. "There's food in here! You want something to eat?"

Asher shook his head. I wasn't hungry either, given the homemade chili and cornbread Ceila had insisted we eat double helpings of, but Asher had barely eaten. While he sat at the unlit woodstove, I made him a sandwich. It was pretty basic, but I had nothing to do to keep busy, and he had the vibe of an unexploded bomb, liable to go off at any second. Staying out of the blast radius seemed the wisest thing to do at this point.

"Can you light the fire? I'm kind of cold," I called to him. Keeping him busy might be better for him than sitting around, brooding. There were a couple of beers in the fridge. I grabbed them. I wasn't really a beer girl, but I could use something to take the edge off today.

"Here." I passed him the plate and bottle and settled on the floor beside him.

He'd started the fire and now sat staring at it. It reminded me of my lengthy wait in the cabin back home, tied up, with nothing but my spiraling thoughts to keep me company.

I clinked my bottle against his to break the silence. "Cheers."

I chugged down half the beer in one go.

"Why did you come here?" Asher asked after a long moment.

Ouch.Awkwardness rose between us.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I helped start all this. Seems only right I should see it through." It was quiet for a while. "Are you okay?"

He let out a quiet chuckle. "Am I okay? Let's see…" He was quiet again. "Yeah, I think I am. He made the choice he thought was best at the time. He regretted it after, but he tried to put our feelings first. I might not agree with that at all. He fucking pussied out of taking the heat of our resentment, but when he says he did it for us, I believe him. Right or wrong, it's done. Regrets are fucking pointless. Of course, I could have known that earlier if my mom would have given me his name."

I thought of Melly Martino and how warm and loving she'd been. I couldn't believe anything bad about that woman.

"You don't know what she was going through at the time. She was scared. She had you and Eve, and it was working…Maybe she was scared of adding someone else into the mix. Then when you were old enough to ask about him, your dad was already married…they weren't going to end up together."

"But we could have known him. You don't understand," he said heavily.

I nodded. "You're right. I don't. I don't want to pretend that I do. I just mean… everyone gets scared sometimes, and your mom, I'll bet she's spent a long time feeling alone. She must have been really scared of ruining everything, to choose to continue the loneliness, that's all."

Asher took a deep drink, sinking his beer in seconds. He set the bottle aside and sat back. "And you, Ice Queen. What's your excuse for not telling me about the address?"

I froze, suddenly under the microscope. "Just being a brat, I guess," I attempted.

He shook his head, his eyes never leaving me. "Not this time. I want to know why you kept it from me. Why?"

I finished my drink and put it down. There was a whole lot in his tone that I couldn't read the meaning of. I just knew I'd come to the end of the road. I could no longer pretend that Asher Martino hadn't strolled right into my barren heart and made it his.

"Maybe I was scared, too," I admitted.

"What were you scared of?" he asked quietly.

I felt like the skin was going to crawl off my face, he was staring so hard at my right cheek. I couldn't turn and look at him. I just couldn't let him see all my emotional insecurities laid bare. My defenses, paper-thin around him usually, were totally gone now. There was nowhere to go but the truth.

"What else? The game being done." I attempted a grin, but it felt off. "Breakup eras suck."

Asher's brow wrinkled. "Breakup eras?"

"Well, you know. You found your dad. Mission accomplished. You don't need me anymore. The game is done."

I hadn't quite finished speaking when Asher closed the distance between us. His hand went around the back of my neck and tugged me in. He was so damn close his breath touched my lips.

"Call our relationship a game one more goddamn time, and I'm going to write something on you again — but this time it'll be my initials on your ass in tattoo ink."

"What?" My head was pounding, my breath short. The way he was looking at me was making me sweat. It was too much. He was too much.

"Do you really still think this is a game?" He brushed his lips over mine, spiking my pulse even higher. "Did you think that after everything…I was going to let you go and be someone else's?"

I swallowed hard. "I don't know. No one else has ever seemed interested in sticking around, so…"

"I'm not just anyone. And we aren't just some game. If you're confused about it, let me make it clear," he said, and then closed the distance between us and kissed me.

This kiss felt different. It felt like a first kiss, somehow. We'd kissed plenty of times, and yet, this one was the one I knew I'd remember. His hands cupped both my cheeks; his thumbs slid over my cheekbones. It was soft, and slow. It turned my tummy in a loop and gave me butterflies.

We walked backward toward the bed and only stopped when my legs hit the mattress. Asher tugged my clothes off, only breaking the kiss to pull my sweater over my head and toss it aside. Everything came off. As we undressed each other, our movements got faster and more frantic. There was a building pressure between us. A feeling that I had to have his bare skin against mine now, or die.

Completely naked, he backed me onto the bed and rested his hips on mine. He was so long and hard, his cock lying in a thick line right up and above my belly button, the tip leaking fluid on me as we kissed. He ground himself against me, his cock perfectly sliding up and down my clit. I was so wet I could hear his thrusts against my pussy. The wet sucking sound could have embarrassed me, but there was no room for it right now. There was just him and me. No shame, no embarrassment. Complete acceptance. This was the guy who knew all my petty, bratty parts. The walls I'd put up. The way I'd hidden myself away. My insecurities and vulnerabilities. I knew his, too. I'd never be embarrassed in front of him. It was impossible. He was mine and I was his.

He leaned down and kissed me hard, smiling against my lips. "It was nice to be first, Ice Queen, but honestly, it's not what matters to me the most."

He pushed in, gradually impaling me on his rigid length.

"Being last…that's what really gets me off," he murmured in my ear, fucking me in shallow thrusts that opened me up gradually.

He reached between us and circled my clit lazily, keeping his cock halfway inside me. Pleasure washed through me in waves. Wetness surged, and my muscles slackened a little. Inch by inch, he slid deeper.

"That's it, Winter. Let me take care of you," he whispered.

His words only turned me on more.

"I've got you. You're safe in my hands…and I will never let you go."

I moaned when he slid home, reaching the end inside me. He was so deep, the invasion felt unbelievably intimate. Last time we'd slept together had felt wicked and fun, our game coming to a head. Now was different. His finger kept playing with me, even as he held himself still, deep inside, letting me adjust to him.

After a while, the tightness was gone, replaced by pleasure. I moved my hips against him, sliding myself up and down his cock.

"You need more, baby?"

I nodded, biting my lip, too turned on and inside out to talk.

"Then I'll give you more. I'll give you whatever you need, from this moment on, got it?"

I nodded again, his voice unwinding years of feeling alone, and abandoned, uncared for, inconvenient. He cussed and fucked me harder. I was going to come. My muscles were getting tighter, and the pleasure was growing.

Asher was rubbing my clit ruthlessly now, lying on his side, facing me, while my legs were spread and raised. I shook and gripped his hand for support.

He laughed. It was pure, unadulterated joy. I loved that sound.

"Fuck, you fit me so perfectly, Your Majesty, like we were made to fit just like this." He broke off and grunted, his hips slamming into mine now.

I didn't mind it, even though I was tender. My orgasm was still barreling toward me.

"And now — we'll never be apart," he muttered. One of his hands landed on my breast and teased the nipple.

"Promise?" I gasped, frantically raising my hips to meet his thrusts. It was a promise I'd waited my whole life to hear.

"Just try and stop me…" Asher growled out the last words.

I didn't hear anything more before that building feeling, like a bubble that was growing bigger and bigger, popped. Pleasure like nothing I'd ever felt raged through me. I contracted, every muscle conspiring to keep him inside me, the source of this great release. As soon as I clamped down around his cock, he followed me, pulsing deep inside. The warmth of his cum filled me up, making me wet and marking me as his. Claimed. He kissed me hard until I couldn't breathe. My body was hot and alive. There was no hint of my icy reserve. My heart had fully thawed for the first time since I was seven years old. And it was all because of this man.

He stayed deep inside me for a long time, only slipping out when my legs went numb, and I had to move them. He pulled me back into his chest, spooning me easily. His hand stroked down my hair. My brain slowly came back online after the otherworldly experience. No wonder people got addicted to sex. Nothing could be better than that.

"So…" I cleared my throat. "What happens now?" The threat of Trent and his malicious intentions threatened to push into my happiness and spoil it.

Asher chuckled lazily. "Already overthinking? You're very talented."

"It's a gift."

He sighed and buried his face in my hair. "Now you're mine, Winter. My spoiled little brat, my smart and funny Ice Queen. Mine. And we're at the beginning of everything. Got it?"

"Got it."