Chapter 2

two

. . .

Cross

M y eyes burned as I stared at the silent phone on the coffee table, willing it to ring. Desperate for some kind of word that River had been found or even a ransom note from fucking Volkov. I just needed something that would put a stop to the endless waiting. I hated being helpless. It was weak, and I was anything but weak.

Walker and I had been sitting in utter silence for the last hour after our conversation. We'd gone round and round and basically ended up back where we started. In this weird fucking limbo where nothing mattered but finding her. Neither of us wanted to sleep in case she miraculously showed up at the house. We wouldn't entertain getting her back any way but whole.

The fire had died down due to our inattention, but I couldn't find it in myself to get up and put another log on. Instead, I watched the flames dance, their soft crackle a soothing lull despite the unpredictable pops of sap. I must have been more out of it than I thought because I hadn't heard the footsteps until Bishop's towering frame was right beside us.

"What the hell do you want?" I snarled, my anger with myself compounding the mistrust I had toward him, especially after McCreedy's phone call a few days earlier.

Bishop wasn't just former military. He was a fed and he was here to take us down.

"I've got a lead."

"Your secret agent buddies help you with that?" Walker asked, eyes narrowed. "How do we know you didn't take her and hide her away so we would walk right into your trap?"

He raised a single, unimpressed brow. "If I wanted to haul your asses in, I'd do it right now. No trap required. You two have more blood on your hands than half the fucking state."

"Why don't you then?"

"Because whether you believe me or not, all I care about is finding River. Arresting the two of you doesn't get me any closer to that end."

"Your friends at the FBI must love you playing both sides like that."

"Maybe, if they knew about it."

"So we're just supposed to take your word for it? Believe you're not going to turn around and screw us? Why are you even still here, Bishop?"

I couldn't disagree with my brother. But the truth was, Bishop had been here, a wolf in sheep's clothing, for months now. Gathering intel, fucking helping me with our shipments, and learning all about our dirty deeds. He knew who we were involved with, how deep we were in, and whether we got River back or not, he could send us to prison for a long fucking time.

"Just give us until River is safe," I said, my voice calm and cold. "That's all we need. Then you can turn us in and get your goddamn gold star for being a good boy."

Walker stared at me in shock. "You're just going to roll over and show your belly? You're not even going to fight for her?" He shook his head in disgust. "You don't fucking deserve her, man."

He was right. I didn't. And after this, there was no way she would want to be with me anyway. I was the reason she was in this mess. She was better off without me. But he was missing the point. We had nothing if we lost her.

"I'd rather she be safe and with him than dead or in Volkov's hands, Walk. Bishop has probably already delivered enough intel on us to send us away for a long time."

Bishop cleared his throat. "I haven't, actually."

"What?"

"Sent anything incriminating in."

"Why the fuck not?" Walker asked, glancing at me. "Don't get me wrong, I'm relieved to hear it, but... isn't that sort of what you do?"

"Everything I've seen since I've been here points to the two of you not being as involved as originally suspected. So my evidence doesn't actually help their case."

That was bullshit, but I wasn't going to argue. "So you're really going to help us get her back?"

He nodded. "I'm in. All fucking in. They took my woman, and I'm going to make them pay. What the feds don't know won't hurt them, but it sure as shit will feel good when I put a bullet through Volkov's skull."

I raised a brow, needing to be sure he knew what he was getting himself into. "You're really ready to blow your entire life up? Just like that?"

"She is my life."

Fair enough. She was mine too. Even if I would have to spend the rest of it without her.

"I still don't trust you as far as I can throw you." Walker stood, the cane he was using to support him the only thing keeping him on his feet. He wasn't ready for this, but the man wouldn't be told otherwise.

"You'll have to if we're gonna get her back."

"You gotta plan?" I asked.

Bishop waved his phone at us. "Like I said. I've got a lead. We got a hit on Volkov."

"You know where he is?" I said, voice deadly soft as I got to my feet, suddenly on high alert.

"Maybe."

"Where?"

"A remote location outside El Paso."

"What are we waiting for? Let's go get her," Walker said, taking an unsteady step toward the front door.

"I've already got guys on it, investigating the lead, but it's better than nothing."

I was itching to go after her too, just like my brother. Nothing was worse than this feeling of being caged.

"So what the fuck are we supposed to do in the meantime?" Walker asked, frustration evident in the tightness of his voice.

"It's too risky to go ourselves," Bishop said, sounding just as put out. "Trust me, I want to go too. But we can't show our hand yet. He catches word we're onto him, it could spook him, and then our leads will dry up again. It's better this way."

As much as I hated it, he was right. My stomach was a pit of cold fear at the thought of losing any thread of connection to her location.

"You'd better tell us everything you find out as soon as you hear. I'm not interested in waiting around for you to decide we need to know."

He nodded. "You have my word."

"For what that's worth," Walker muttered, maneuvering himself back to the couch where he gracelessly plopped down.

Bishop's expression didn't change, but I caught the slight tensing of his shoulders before he gave me a little nod and left me and my brother alone.

"We're fucked. You know that, right?" Walker asked, head in his hands.

"We were the moment she set foot on our property."

My brother heaved a sigh and reached into his pocket, pulling out a black velvet pouch before shoving it at me. "Here. You should have this."

A frown tugged at my lips as I opened the little bag and dumped the contents into my palm. "Is this Mama's ring?" I asked, head snapping up so I could look at him.

His eyes were locked on the pretty piece of jewelry cradled in my hand. "Yup."

"You went into her room? I haven't been in there since she died." I trailed my fingers over the sparkling diamond, my heart in my throat. She'd been everything to us. Dad hadn't been the same after she died. None of us had.

"River deserves to wear that ring. I was gonna give it to her." Walker shrugged. "Now you get to. If she's married to a Cross, she should have the ring meant for a Cross woman."

Mouth suddenly dry, I couldn't answer him. The image of River wearing this ring had my heart thumping erratically. It would be perfect for her. It was as rare and special as she was. But even as hope ignited at the thought she might wear it one day, it died out just as fast.

She wouldn't want it if it came from me.

I didn't fucking deserve to give it to her.

"You keep it. She was forced to marry me. She can choose to marry you."

Walker's brows dropped low over confused eyes. "She can't be married to both of us. This is still Texas, you know."

I knew all too well. "Leave that to me."

Walker missed my meaning with a soft chuckle. "Your name carries weight, but I don't think you can get a whole-ass law changed. Polygamy is still sort of taboo in these parts." Then his smile faltered, and he shook his head. "Do you ever wonder why Senior did it? Married the two of you in secret like that?"

"Every damn day. But honestly, I'm afraid of the answer. I sort of chalked it up to his going off the deep end after Mama died and left it at that."

"Yeah," Walker breathed. "You never did tell me what happened that night. After the party."

Ice running through my veins, I swallowed. "I kept you in the dark for a reason. You were too young for the shit I saw. It was bad, Walk. So fucking bad that I made sure River never wanted to come back here. Dad messed everything up for us. He dug us into a hole so deep with the Russians, I'm not sure we can ever get ourselves out."

A strange expression crossed my brother's face. "So that's what they were talking about."