Chapter 18

eighteen

. . .

Cross

I rapped my knuckles on Walker's door, doing a final check before heading to bed. When there was no immediate answer, I cracked it open and looked inside, finding him splayed out on his bed with River curled into his side.

My brother may have always thought I got everything he wanted, but as I stood in the doorway of his room, I realized he couldn't have been more wrong. He had her in his arms. He had her heart. And me? All I had was a fiery connection built on anger and hurt. She might let me make her come on my fingers, but she would never willingly sleep beside me through the night. That little bit of vulnerability was reserved for the man—men?—she trusted.

"Fuck, sparrow," I said under my breath as I raked a hand through my hair. "What's it gonna take to make you love me again?"

River stirred in Walker's bed, her soft sigh of my name hitting me straight in the chest. I doubted she knew all the ways she had me tied up in knots. I had been ever since the night I'd broken us.

But then her sweet voice took me down at the knees. "I never stopped loving you. 'S why it hurts so bad."

Suddenly, I couldn't stand the thought of her spending the night beside him. She was my wife. She belonged with me. Her brows furrowed, and a little pout turned down her lips as she shifted to her side.

Crossing the room, I reached for her, hesitant for a beat before shaking her awake.

"Come on, baby, let's go."

"Mmm, I'm comfy." Her voice was thick with sleep. Calm. Relaxed. Everything she wasn't when I was around.

"I can see that, but you can't sleep here."

"Why not?" she asked, her words slightly slurred as I scooped her up into my arms. "Walk asked me to stay."

"I'm sure he did," I grumbled. Thankfully, I had a logical, if not downright inspired, excuse why that was a terrible idea. "But you could hurt him without meaning to, and he would never tell you about it."

River frowned, eyes still closed, head resting on my chest. Goddamn, she smelled good. "I don't want to hurt... you."

I knew this was the haze of sleep talking, but it was also an opening for me to share my truth. I could crack the cold and hard veneer I've been hiding behind, if only right now. "It's me that did the hurting. Let me make it up to you."

She nuzzled into my warmth. "Mkay. I'm tired of fighting... even if you're hot when you're mad."

A low chuckle rumbled from my chest. "You rile me up like no other."

"Even Cici?"

Where did that come from?

"Like I said. No other."

A little smile curled her lips. "Good. You're mine."

My eyebrows flew up at that shocking confession. If I'd known she'd be this chatty and honest in her sleep, I would have paid her a nighttime visit weeks ago. I didn't even have it in me to feel guilty about uncovering truths she never meant for my ears. This was fucking ammunition, and I sure as hell was going to use it to my advantage.

Dropping a kiss to her temple, I inhaled her sweet scent one more time before I kicked open my bedroom door. Should I have taken her to her own bed? Yes. Was I going to? Fuck no.

Especially not after she claimed me like that.

She snuggled into me a little deeper before I pulled back the blankets and slipped her under the covers.

"Mmm. Smells like you," she murmured, but then opened her eyes, finally coming fully awake. "Wait. This isn't my bed, Cross."

"Nope, but it's where you belong, wife ."

She started to sit up but froze, her vision clearing with every heartbeat. And there was no mistaking the hunger in those pretty green irises as she studied me, weighing her options. Wanting to sway the vote in my favor and not afraid to play a little dirty, I didn't say a word as I unbuttoned my shirt, then tugged it off. Her eyes devoured every inch of skin I had to display. There was a lot more where that came from.

"If you really don't want to be here, you can go. But I've been desperate to feel you next to me for ten fucking years, sparrow, and I'm not above begging you. If you're gonna share anyone's bed tonight, it should be mine." I unfastened my belt, confidence shaken because I knew she should reject me. "Please?"

Sitting up, she pulled back the covers next to her to welcome me. But what really got me was the look in her eyes as she tore the flimsy, too-big T-shirt over her head.

"Jesus, fuck," I whispered at the sight of those perfect full tits. If I hadn't already been hard as stone, I would've been at full mast in an instant.

Careful not to rush, I shoved my jeans down my hips, thankful as hell we didn't wear our boots in the house.

"Commando, huh?"

"Wranglers don't leave much room. Especially not with how I wear 'em."

She smirked, eyes on my dick. "They sure don't."

"Lie back for me, beautiful. I want to look at every part of you until I can see you with my eyes closed."

She opened her mouth like she was going to argue. Hell, I was expecting her to. It had become our thing. But she didn't say anything, just made a little humming sound and obeyed.

"Do you like it when I take charge in the bedroom? That's unexpected."

"Why's that?"

"You fucking hate it everywhere else."

Her back arched like a cat searching for more affection as I ran my palm between her breasts and down her belly.

"Maybe I have to be so in control of the rest of my life, I want a break from it in bed. Maybe I just want you to take care of me and make me feel good, Cross."

"Take off your panties. Now."

A hitched breath was her only response before she did what I told her.

"Hand them to me."

Again, she did. I brought the scrap of lace to my nose and inhaled her sweet scent before tossing the garment on top of my pile of clothes. She wouldn't be getting those back.

"Cross," she whispered, her voice breathy with need.

"I've got you, baby. If you let me, I'll make you feel so damn good you won't remember your own name." Her eyelids fluttered as my fingers trailed across the neatly trimmed thatch of hair between her legs. "Is this pussy wet for me? When I open your thighs, will I find you glistening and ready for me to suck your needy little clit until you scream?"

"Maybe you should stop talking and go find out for yourself."

I smirked, recognizing her bluff. She was trash for my dirty mouth. She just didn't want to admit it. But the way her nipples were a deep red and pulled tight into desperate points proved me right.

I moved away from her, loving the small sound of protest she made before I knelt on the bottom of the bed, taking an ankle in each hand so I could slowly spread her open. Just as I suspected, she was soaked. I crawled up between her legs, my hands gliding along the silky skin of her thighs. I never raised my gaze from my goal, so I caught the flood of arousal as it fell from her. My fingers dug into her soft flesh as I pushed her legs further apart.

"Tell me how much you want me."

"Haven't you ever heard of show, don't tell?" she teased.

"I'm an auditory learner, sweetness. I need to hear it."

She sucked in a tight gasp as I framed her cunt with my hands, not touching her where she truly wanted it, but promising I would.

"I've always wanted you, Cross. Even when I hated you. I'd wake up in the middle of the night with my fingers in my pussy and your name on my lips."

I rocked my hips into the mattress so I could get a little friction on my throbbing dick. She had me strung tight. Needing her as on edge as me, I blew a focused stream of air across her fluttering cunt.

She squirmed and moaned, an attempt to escape and a plea for me to put her out of her misery all at once. But I held her fast, not letting her get away. I was going to eat her until she came on my face, and then I'd fuck her until we both passed out.

A panicked thought raced through my mind. I didn't have protection. Not here. I never brought women home. This was my sacred space, not a fuck pad. I'd have to put on the brakes, and that was the last thing I wanted to do with this goddess under me.

But a spark of something else ignited in my head, the forbidden thought making precum leak from my aching cock. I could make her mine in every way with nothing between us. Maybe I'd even knock her up. Tie her to me for the rest of our lives.

Fuck, I wanted that. To fill her full of my cum and make her thick with my child. To breed her.

Her fingers threaded in my hair, tugging my face up so I had to stare into her eyes. "Stop teasing me. Please."

"Tell me what you want, baby."

"Everything you want to give me."

She wouldn't have dared to say that if she knew the direction my thoughts had taken. Still, I couldn't help but smirk at her. "Careful what you wish for. I'll give you the moon if you fucking ask me to. But right now, I want to give you the ride of your life."

"Better get to work, cowboy."

She positioned my face right over her slick cunt, and I groaned as I parted her lips with my fingers. "My pleasure, ma'am."