Chapter 2

two

. . .

Cross

Ten years earlier

F ucking parties. It seemed like every other week we were throwing a damn party these days. Galas, weddings, engagements, and now River Adams's eighteenth birthday party. Everywhere I looked, some stranger was arranging white tulips or adjusting the candles all over the damn place. River might be my little brother's best friend, and her dad might work with us, but you'd think she was Senior's own daughter the way he was spending money on her.

"Junior, I need a minute."

My head snapped to my dad, who was standing in the mouth of the hallway leading to his office. He was dressed in his typical attire: dark jeans, black boots, a button down and blazer. The shiny belt buckle he wore was on full display, a not-so-subtle reminder he was a genuine cowboy with a rodeo history. He always poked fun at the rich boys who wore the cowboy costume but had never truly earned their spurs. It was one of the reasons Walker and I were such good riders. We'd heard his warning of, ‘No son of mine will ever get away with being all hat and no cattle' more times than either of us could count.

"Now?" I asked, glancing at the circus taking place around me as if he might have forgotten we were hosting the damn thing. A whole damn band was set up in what used to be our formal living room.

"The guests should be arriving soon, so we need to get this paperwork handled before Tyson and his son get here."

"You invited our lawyers to a birthday party?" I asked as I followed him into his office.

"Good excuse as any to take care of some business."

I raised a brow. I didn't see the logic, but then my dad didn't have many friends. He had associates . In fact, he'd taught us early on that your inner circle should be so small you'd never have to worry about being stabbed in the back. I'd thought he was paranoid, but since he brought me in on the family business, I was starting to better understand his thought process. In our line of work, friends could easily become enemies.

Come to think of it, I wasn't sure if he'd count anyone other than Casey as an actual friend. But I knew Casey's hands were just as dirty as my dad's, and as far as Senior was concerned, Casey Adams was blood. Huh, I guess that explained the circus.

"I need you to sign a few things so we can button up some deals."

"What deals?"

"Son, there are always deals being made in our world. You're an integral part of this business now, and mergers like these are important for you to be attached to. I'll be able to rest easy knowing you're ready to take the reins once I'm gone."

"You're not going anywhere. Besides, you and I both know Casey will be there to take over if I'm not ready."

An unreadable expression crossed his face, and he made a noncommittal sound. "Be that as it may. Never hurts to be prepared."

He shoved a stack of papers at me and handed me a pen. "They're all marked for you. I already had McCreedy look them over. All you have to do is sign."

There was no arguing with him. I'd tried, and it was useless. So I sat down at the desk and began signing my life away. When I finished, he handed me a whiskey and grinned before raising it in a toast.

"Congratulations."

"For what? Knowing my name?"

He chuckled. "Something like that."

I knocked back the whiskey, relishing its burn and knowing I'd need several more to get through the night. Cecilia Davenport and her flock of gold-digging bimbos were on the prowl. I missed the days when I could fall into bed with a girl without worrying that she was going to try to trick me into more. It was a well-known truth that a single beauty queen without a diamond on her finger was on the hunt for a rich husband. I was in line to become one of the richest ranchers in the state. Scratch that. In the country.

Casey Adams walked through the door as I was refilling my glass, his green eyes flashing with amusement as he came into the room.

"All set, D?" he asked my dad.

"Yep. Signed and ready for you to look over."

"Excellent." Instead of heading to my dad, he came to me, resting his hand on my shoulder and giving me an uncharacteristically serious look. "Proud of you, son. I know you're going to take real good care of her."

"Her?"

He cleared his throat. "The business."

"It's not a ship."

My dad chuckled. "Sure it is. And you're gonna keep her afloat. Now, River's waiting for you to wish her a happy birthday. I hope you've got something nice to give her."

Why the hell was he pushing me out the door and sending me off to see his best friend's daughter, who I made it a point to barely acknowledge? I did that for a fucking reason. She'd been a gangly kid when we were growing up, easy to ignore and be annoyed by, but over the last year, River Adams had turned into a woman. A beautiful one at that. I couldn't let myself look at her now. Not without my thoughts going somewhere they shouldn't.

As of today, my reason for staying away was no longer valid, and I didn't need to flirt with temptation.

"I hadn't planned on giving her a gift. She's using my house for her party. That should be plenty."

"You know she's always been sweet on you, son."

She has?

"You sure you aren't getting me and Walker confused?"

"I know my boys. Go wish our guest of honor a happy birthday and show her a good time. She's family."

"I'm not a damn babysitter," I grumbled.

"She's not a baby," her dad pointed out.

Realizing I wasn't getting out of this, I groaned and set my glass down and grabbed the entire bottle of whiskey.

Seemed like I was going to need it.

By the time I got out to the already bustling party, my sparrow was the focus of everyone's attention. She looked so fucking pretty in her white dress, her hair falling past her shoulders, lips a cherry red as they wrapped around the straw in her drink. Damn, when had she gotten so beautiful? She wasn't like Cici or the other girls I'd grown up with. River was real and a natural beauty, just like her mama, while Cici and her crew were caked in makeup and padded bras. Those women were keeping Devil's Grove's aestheticians in business.

Walker was sitting next to her, his smile genuinely happy as they laughed together about something. She didn't need me to make her happy. Hell, I wouldn't be able to, not without breaking my self-imposed rules where she was concerned.

Instead of heading their way, I spotted Jackson and turned toward him. If I took off now, my dad would realize I was missing. At least this way, it would appear I was socializing, and Jackson was always carrying. For a lawyer's son who'd just joined his daddy's practice, the man smoked more than his share of weed. That was exactly what I needed. Oblivion and distance from the image of River's red lips wrapped around something other than her straw.

Jesus Christ. I needed to get out of here.

"McCreedy, it's been awhile . . ."

Later that night

Goddammit, Cross. Pretty sure Senior didn't mean to dick his partner's daughter down when he told you to show her a good time.

I was supposed to stay away. How was sticking my dick in her staying away? The answer? It wasn't. But fuck, she was everything. River stared at me like I was her whole world as I made love to her, and if I was being honest, in that moment, she was mine. I wanted to take care of her and make sure she felt protected and cherished. The second my sparrow kissed me in that gazebo, I was done for.

I should feel bad about taking her virginity, but I couldn't muster an ounce of guilt. Not when I knew for a fact any other man she gave herself to would have treated her like her pleasure didn't matter. I took my time and focused on her, made her come until she was near tears. I made it good for her. Special.

But I also couldn't lie to myself and say this meant nothing to me. This wasn't a one-time thing between us. Not with the way my heart was racing or how she was looking at me. Not to mention who she was. If Casey found out what I just did to his baby girl, I wouldn't be surprised to find myself on the business end of a shotgun being marched down the aisle.

He's the one who said she wasn't a baby...

So not a fucking excuse, man. You are so screwed.

And then she looked up at me with those big eyes while I was still pulsing inside her and whispered three words that solidified everything I'd been thinking.

"I love you."

I froze, the magnitude of that admission hitting me like a ton of bricks. Plenty of girls had said it to me, hoping I'd be their forever. None of them made me feel like River did. The trouble with her was, I could actually see it. The future with her in my arms.

Something shifted in me, determination and purpose aligning. I'd gone about this all wrong, but that changed right fucking now. Instead of responding with empty words, I dropped a kiss on her forehead and pulled out of her. "I'll be right back, sparrow."

Her eyelids were already drooping as she hummed a soft, happy sound. Then I got up on shaky legs, disposing of the condom and bringing a blanket over to cover her before I slipped in beside her. She sighed in her sleep, and I buried my face in her sweet-smelling hair, just letting myself be happy for once. That one thought crystallized in my mind. She made me happy.

Just one night laughing and flirting with her, and I was a goner. My mama had told me about magic like that. How when you found your person it was like the stars aligned and you just knew. It's what she had with my dad. Why they'd married so young after only dating a few weeks.

When you know, you know.

I fucking knew.

There was no way I'd ignore this feeling. She said she loved me, gave it to me without me asking, but I had some work to do to earn it. When she woke up, I'd start over with her. She deserved so much more than my bullshit, grumpy asshole act. I'd take my time and court her properly, ask her daddy's permission to make her mine, throw my hat in the ring so everyone knew she belonged with me.

Now that I'd decided on a path, I was ready to make it happen. But she was young; she deserved a chance to do all the things a girl her age would want to do. It'd be hard, but I could be patient, knowing she was my prize in the end. By the time I was done, I'd prove to the both of us that I was worthy of her love.

My phone started buzzing where it had fallen on the floor. I looked over at it with a curse, not wanting to move away from the woman snuggled up next to me. When the buzzing stopped only to immediately start up again, I knew it had to be Senior.

Fuck, I couldn't ignore this.

Three hours later, I stood over River's sleeping form covered in blood and stained with the night's sins. Three hours. That's all it had taken for my plans of a happily ever after to go up in flames.

I couldn't keep her. I couldn't let her anywhere near the horror show that was my life.

It would destroy her, and I couldn't be the reason for her destruction.

So I'd let her go. Doing so would destroy me , but I'd rather be the one to suffer so she could stay free and happy.

With shaking hands, I scrawled a note I knew would shatter her heart and make her hate me, but it was for the best. I'd rather hurt her now, knowing she'd be alive. Safe. Untouched by this madness.

The last thing she needed was ties to this family. So I had to make sure she never had a reason to come back to me. Because life with me wouldn't just be a cage, it would be a noose, slowly suffocating everything good and pure inside her. I couldn't be the reason the light left her eyes. I had to let my sparrow fly free.

It felt like my fucking soul protested each brush of pen on paper, but I forced myself to keep going. To make a clean break. My stomach churned as I finished the worst letter I'd ever written and laid it next to her so she'd be sure to see it along with the box of Plan B I'd picked up on my way home as soon as she opened her eyes.

River,

Thanks for the ride. I should've been clear last night.

This was a one-time deal. I don't want to be tied down to some kid who doesn't know how to handle me.

Take the pill when you wake up. The last thing we need is another mistake.

C

I stared down at her and had to fight the urge to brush a lock of hair away from her pretty face. This was for the best. It had to be this way.

Cross, you motherfucker, you're going to burn in hell for this.

But as I turned and walked away, I knew the truth.

I was already there.