Chapter 21

twenty-one

. . .

Walker

R iver knew exactly where to hit me and make it hurt. But then again, she had a right to be upset. She didn't know the truth, that I was head over fucking heels for her and ‘distracting' her had been an excuse for me to get close to her without Cross butting in. Just because my brother thought I'd been going along with his plan didn't make it true. But she hadn't heard any of that. She was operating with only a part of the story, admittedly the worst part, but if I could get her to listen to me, she'd realize she had me pegged all wrong.

"Don't say things you don't mean, darlin'. We have something special between us. You and I both know it."

"Had. We had something special. Until you turned out to be a lying, manipulative asshole, just like Cross."

"I never lied to you. Nothing about what we did together was a lie."

She cocked a brow. "So you weren't trying to distract me with that magic dick of yours?"

My lips twitched before I could help it. "I mean, you're the one calling it magic." She was thoroughly unamused, so I cleared my throat. "And no, I wasn't trying to distract you." If possible, her brow rose even higher. "Okay, yes, Cross told me to, but that's not what this was. Is. Fuck." I blew out a frustrated breath. "I'm not saying this right."

"You're not saying much of anything. All I hear is that you don't even know why you did it. I don't have casual sex, Walker. I was in a place where I was vulnerable, and I shared that with you. I told you about my confusing feelings for all three of you, and you were there for me. But it turned ugly the moment the truth came out. You can't just backpedal and gaslight me."

"I'm not—" I let out a frustrated groan and raked my fingers through my hair. "Would you just listen to me, woman? I'm trying to tell you how I feel about you, and all you can see fit to do is yell at me."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Are your feelings hurt? Do you need a fucking cookie? You used me. You used my feelings for you against me, all as part of some scheme your brother cooked up to keep my nose out of your business. Well, joke's on you. It didn't fucking work."

"Goddammit, River. I didn't use you. I've been in love with you since we were kids. I was finally getting everything I wanted. You finally saw me instead of him. You wanted me. So, dammit, I took the opportunity and made you mine. Not his. Even if he hadn't asked me to distract you, I would've been there by your side. I'd do anything for you. Always have and always will."

Her eyes flared, and I could tell I'd surprised her, but she was quick to school her expression. "Excuse me if I have a little trouble believing that. It's not like I heard from you once while I was gone, Walker. Your actions are speaking a whole helluva lot louder than your words."

"If you think I didn't try to find you, you're dead wrong. But every time, they put a stop to it. Cross and my dad, I mean. They said to leave you be. That you'd be safer wherever you were. That I was no good for you and the best thing we could do for you was let you hide."

"My parents died, Walker!" she shouted, standing up and stalking over to poke me in the chest. "You think I didn't need my best friend?"

"They told me you were next!" I shouted back. "What the hell was I supposed to do? If people were watching me, which I can only assume they were, given how close we were, I couldn't lead them back to you. I had to let you go." My voice cracked, and I couldn't think straight around the emotions crowding my head. "They always say if you love something, let it go, and if it's really yours, it will come back. Well, it took ten fucking years, but you came back. You're mine, darlin'. I won't ever let you go again."

"All this time?" she asked softly.

I moved closer, hands itching to reach for her and pull her into my chest, but when I did, she jerked away.

"You knew?"

That was it? That was all she was gonna say after I bled out all over the damn floor. "That I loved you? Of course I fucking knew."

Suspicion burned in her eyes. "No, Walker. You knew my parents were murdered?"

Shit.

Any ground I'd won was immediately lost as those verdant eyes of hers shuttered. There was no digging myself out of this hole.

"Go away, Walker."

"No, not until we settle this."

My phone chose that exact moment to start ringing. I pulled it out of my pocket to silence it, but not before River got a look at the caller's name. Cross.

"Oh look, your handler's calling. Better answer it before he takes away your allowance."

I ignored his call and focused on the woman in front of me. She was slipping through my fingers, and if I didn't at least salvage some of this relationship, I'd never be able to win her back.

"I don't care about what he has to say. I'm not giving up on fixing this between us."

"What part of there is no us are you having trouble understanding?"

"All of it. Because it's bullshit, and you know it."

River shook her head at me. "You're as stubborn as your brother."

"Runs in our blood."

"Just..." My girl sighed, some of the fight leaving her as she looked away from me. "Just leave me alone, Walker. I've got a stupid gala to prepare for."

This was my chance. "Let me take you. I'll be your date."

Apprehension flashed in her eyes. "It's not that easy, Walker. You can't just say some pretty words and expect me to fall into your arms and be okay with everything that happened. I'm not going to the gala with you. You're not my knight in shining armor or the handsome prince sweeping me off my feet. You're the rake who ruins the heroine. Not the hero."

"So what you're telling me is I need to make a grand gesture."

"That is literally not anywhere close to what I just said."

I flashed her my most charming grin. "Don't worry, darlin', I heard you loud and clear."

"Did you? I don't think you did."

My phone rang again, Cross's name appearing like a countdown to doomsday. If I didn't answer him this time, he'd come hauling ass down the hall and tear me a new one.

"You should get that," she murmured, turning away, but I caught her wrist.

"We're not finished with this, ladybug. I don't use the word love lightly. I intend to prove it to you."

This time I didn't give her a chance to refute my words or throw them back in my face. I gave her a quick peck on the lips she was too surprised to stop and then walked out of the office, answering my phone as I did.

"What?"

"We've got a big fucking problem."

Thirty minutes later, I was with my brother in what I'd affectionately dubbed the ‘wet room.' It was the hidden storage room beneath the stables where all manner of sins occurred, most notably those of the bloody variety. It was also the only place the two of us could talk without being overheard. River's ears had always been pressed to the walls when we were kids. The last thing she needed to hear was this.

"The shipments that didn't make weigh-in were from these three locations," Cross said, pointing out the spots on a map he'd pulled up on his tablet.

"Over or under?"

He shook his head. "Neither. They skipped the weigh stations completely."

"Are they trying to get caught?"

"Maybe."

"Why?"

"So we can take the fall. It's not just meat those trucks are shipping, and you know it."

"Drugs?" I asked. It wouldn't be the first time.

"Why would that be beneficial?"

"I dunno, territory grab? Maybe they want to take a player off the board?"

"If we go down, so does the rest of the operation. Seems stupid to me. None of this works without us and our trucks."

"That's why I'm wondering if this has more to do with trying to hide something from us. From our guys."

"Fuck. This is getting out of hand. I mean, it's a lot of money, but when we don't know what's being transported..."

The shipping business was lucrative for a number of reasons, not the least of which was the protection our name offered our associates who needed to get their goods from point A to point B without any questions. Most of the time, these shipments ranged from weapons to live animals. Things that required excessive documentation, which didn't always suit the more unsavory sorts we dealt with. That's where we came in. But if someone had taken advantage of our business and was running something we hadn't approved... we couldn't let that slide.

"We've got to get to the bottom of this."

"What the hell do you think I've been trying to do? I'm not going on all these surveillance runs with Bishop for the fuck of it."

I sighed. "What do we do?"

"Keep squeezing the Russians. They're the biggest threat."

"Dom's been partnered with Twisted Cross since he took over. Why are they causing problems now?"

"We're weak, and they're making a play. Dad's gone, and everything's up in the air. I'm sure they know about River. We've got to show them we're stronger than ever, that she's not something they can use to get at us."

"They already pushed back." A phantom pain lanced my side, reminding me of their retaliation for us grounding them.

"I handled that."

That was news to me.

"When?"

"Last night."

I glanced around the spotless room, the acrid scent of bleach taking on a new meaning.

"Any loose ends?"

"Just one," Cross said with a heavy sigh.

I stayed silent, waiting him out.

"River caught me."

"How?"

"She found the passage."

"Jesus fuck, Cross. How much did she see?"

His jaw clenched, a muscle ticking as he ground his teeth. "Enough."

No wonder she wanted nothing to do with us. "You need to fix things with her. She hates us both right now, and it's not doing us any favors."

He snorted. "Like you did? Should I fuck her until she sees stars and try to hypnotize her with my dick?"

"No," I sneered, though the thought of knocking her up and tying her to me through a baby didn't seem like a bad idea. "But she needs a reason to remember she's on our side."

"I made sure she knew that if we go down, she's coming with us."

"That is not how you win over a girl like her, Cross. You need honey, not vinegar."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"What do we do when we get a skittish horse on this ranch? I know you haven't done much cowboying in the last few years, but surely you haven't forgotten everything." He didn't answer, so I kept talking. "We pet her real nice, say sweet things, talk to her in a soothing voice, and make sure she knows she can trust us. That's what we need to do with River. She's been broken and bruised by more than just you. Life's not been easy. You came in like a snorting bull, and she met you like a cornered barn cat. She knows she can't win, but she's gonna take out an eye while you ruin her."

"How is what you're proposing different from when I asked about hypnotizing her with my dick?"

I shook my head. "You're fuckin' stupid."

I had half a mind to tell him she'd loved him over me for decades, but he didn't deserve it. If he couldn't see how much he was giving up by treating her like dirt, I wasn't gonna enlighten him. River deserved to be cherished. None of what I'd told him was an act or a way to keep her out of things. I wanted to make her feel safe, make her trust me. Hell, I wanted to love her.

"She's going to the Cattleman's Gala. With or without us."

"What?" Cross's eyes snapped back to me.

"She RSVP'd on behalf of Cross Industries. Four tickets."

"Four?"

"Guess she plans on bringing a date."

My brother didn't have a response to that, but he was fuming. Seemed like a good time to kick him while he was down.

"She also signed you up for the silent auction."

"She what now?"

I didn't give him any more information. He could sweat it out a little. "If we're done here, I have an epic grovel to plan."

Cross shook his head, muttering as I headed for the ladder that would take me back to the stables.

"I'd brush up on your two-step if I were you, big bro. She looks like a dancer to me!" I called down the ladder.

The only answer I got was a grumbled, "Motherfucker."