31. Hannah

31

HANNAH

I had to tell Liddy the truth before we met with Chad. I’d put it off, hoping that I could ease into it, but after how he’d already said he was her father within five minutes of seeing Liddy, I knew better than to wait any longer. She hadn’t questioned it, but I knew I needed to explain.

Pulling to a stop a few miles from the ice skating rink where Chad had asked to meet after the snow ruined my park idea, I turned around and faced Liddy. “Honey, I need to tell you something.”

She stared at me, her hazel eyes wide as fear skittered across her little face.

“It’s nothing bad. We’re okay, and we’re safe.” The reassurance came easy, and her fear flitted away, replaced with her easy smile.

“Remember the man we met outside the doctor’s office?”

“Mm-hmm.” She hugged her giraffe close.

“Well,” I almost choked on the next sentence, “he’s your father. That’s why we’re meeting him today. He wants to get to know you and spend time with you.”

Liddy processed the information with a frown. “And then we can go home?”

“Yes. Then we can go home.”

“Okay.” She kicked the back of the seat. I refrained from talking about Chad any further. If Liddy had questions, I promised myself I would answer them honestly. Until then, I kept my mouth shut, my hands on the wheel, and my fears locked up tight.

Chad met us in the parking lot and walked us into the building. The sound of skates on ice rang out, along with several people laughing and cheering each other as they skated past. One woman leaped into the air, spun around and landed perfectly on one skate.

Liddy’s eyes widened at the sight, and her grip on my hand tightened. “Pretty.”

“Yes, she’s very pretty.” I led her to the counter, where the three of us picked up our skates, and helped Liddy change into hers before lacing up my own.

Chad skated out onto the ice and made a pass around the rink while he waited. Liddy watched him but seemed almost disinterested when he offered to hold her hand. The three of us skated side by side, with Liddy between us.

“Do you remember the first time I took you ice skating?” Chad turned around and skated backward ahead of us. “You’d never been before.” A smile dimpled his cheek. “You got the hang of it in no time. I bet you’re like that too, aren’t you, Liddy? You pick new things up quickly.”

Liddy had her tongue trapped between her teeth as she concentrated on staying upright. When she didn’t answer, Chad turned back and continued to skate side by side with us.

“How long have you been back in town?” I tried to split my attention between the conversation and Liddy. My skating skills came back quickly enough to keep me upright.

Chad swept past us and began skating backwards again so he could face me. “A few months. I’m waiting on Dad to finally give me a spot on the company board. You remember how he is, always harping about earning my keep.” A casual shrug and smile said he’d not changed much since leaving. Maybe he’d not matured after all.

Liddy released my hand. “I can do it by myself.” Her legs swished back and forth, and she picked up speed. “Look!”

“Careful.”

Chad rolled his eyes at my warning. “She’s fine. Look at that. You’re a natural. Just like me.” He twirled around in a tight spin.

Liddy tried to stop and watch, but her toe caught wrong, pitching her forward. Her arms windmilled and she fell backward. I dove to catch her, my arm going beneath her shoulders and stopping her momentum before her head hit the ice.

Tears sprang up in her eyes. “I fell.”

“Ah, that’s nothing. One time, I ran right into the wall and broke my nose.” Chad ran a finger down his perfectly repaired nose. “You should’ve seen the blood.”

Liddy paled. “I don’t want to skate anymore.” She shook in my arms. “Can we leave now?”

“Leave?” Chad stopped so fast his skates sprayed ice chips. “We just got here. Why do you want to leave?”

“She’s scared, Chad.” I helped Liddy stand, and with her fingers locked in a death grip around my wrist, we made our way back to the benches running along the area between the rink and the snack bar.

“It’s okay, Liddy. We’re going to sit down for a few minutes.”

Liddy dropped onto the bench with a loud thud. “No more ice.” The brisk head shake knocked her bow loose again. This time I took it out and tucked it into my pocket.

“Aw, that was nothing.” Chad remained on the ice. “You can’t let fear ruin everything, kid.”

“She’s not.” I cupped Liddy’s chin and brushed the tangled hair from her cheek. “You can try again when you’re ready if you want to.”

“When I’m older.” She kicked her feet back and forth. “Not today.”

“Come on, Hannah. You can’t let her get away with that. She’ll never do anything that scares her if you do.”

“That’s enough.” I glared at Chad over Liddy’s head. “What else did you have planned?”

He shrugged and stomped over to another seat. “This was it. I thought we’d stay here.”

Great. We were off to a fantastic start. “I guess we’ll head out then.”

“No.” Chad stretched a hand toward me. “Let’s take a walk downtown. We can look at the Christmas lights and drink hot chocolate.”

Liddy brightened at that and unlaced her skates. “I like lights. And hot chocolate.”

“Me too.” Chad tried to make it sound engaging, but he ended up reminding me of an overexcited puppet dancing out of sync to the story.

“Come on.” We returned our skates and fixed our boots before joining Chad at the door leading outside. He held it open for us both, and Liddy offered him a shy smile of thanks that he attempted to return.

Chad turned left at the edge of the building. “There are some nice lights this way.” Liddy tucked her giraffe beneath her arm and turned in his direction.

“What else do you like?” Slowing his steps to match Liddy’s, Chad motioned at the lights strung up between the posts. “There are lots of these around here. All the shops are decorated. But the really good lights are in the residential areas. We could drive over to my place. All my neighbors have decorated.”

“No thank you.” Liddy’s small voice barely reached my ears but I knew Chad heard it when his scowl reappeared. “I like these.” Liddy stayed plastered to my side, her toes clipping my shoe with every step. I finally picked her up when I almost tripped over her and set her on my hip. Her head dropped onto my shoulder.

“Look at that one.” I pointed at the candy shop window where red and white striped candy cane lights surrounded a candy train with peppermint wheels and a Christmas tree made of green gummy bears. Liddy raised her head and stared with her mouth dropped open.

“So it’s no to ice skating but yes to lights and candy.” Chad winked at me. “Sounds like my girl.”

I covered my scowl with a bright and incredibly fake smile. Liddy ignored Chad’s attempts to connect. Maybe she sensed his bullshit. Maybe she felt my reluctance to being there. It didn’t seem like Chad had matured much. Even pushing thirty, his boyish good looks and charming smile aged him backward. And when he continued with the asinine remarks that had no relevance, I struggled to remember why I’d ever fallen for him.

Liddy wiggled. “I want to walk.”

Chad waited while I set Liddy down and took her hand. If the slow pace bothered him, he kept it to himself. I gave him points for that bit of patience. Liddy’s lack of connection with him befuddled me. She’d connected so easily with Scott, Arthur, and Ryland. They didn’t even have to try. Maybe that was it—his trying came across as weird and strained.

The fog of my breath and the glare from the lights obscured my vision for a minute, and when it cleared, I caught Chad glancing my way. His lips curled up into a snarky grin. “How have you been?”

Really? Three years and he wanted to have the most generic conversation in the world now? Fine. I knew how to play along. “Great. You?”

He waffled his hand side to side. “Hanging in there. You know. Finally finished my degree. Started working in the tech business.”

“That’s nice.” I bent down to Liddy’s level. “Do you see that sign? It says that Santa’s reindeer are around the corner. Do you want to go see them?”

“Yeah!” Liddy danced in place. “Will they take my picture?”

“Let’s go ask.” Ryland had already promised to work something out so we’d have Christmas pictures, but I needed another distraction and this one hit at the perfect moment.

“You know those–”

I snapped my fingers and pointed at Chad. “Hush.”

His eyes flew wide open, a spark of that old attraction turning the hazel a golden amber. “You got bossy too. Good to know.”

“Not bossy.” I angled my head toward Liddy. “Let her be a kid. Don’t ruin this for her.” The magic of Christmas could never be ruined, but I enjoyed these years where Liddy believed in Santa and elves and flying reindeer. Chad had opened a channel of communication with me, which I appreciated, but not if it came with the downside of ruining Liddy’s Christmas cheer. “Let’s go find those reindeer.” I shot Chad a look that said he’d better keep his mouth shut, and he had the gall to wink at me again while pretending to zip his lips and throw away the key. It was such a childish action that I rolled my eyes.

He laughed and bumped my elbow with his. “I missed this. You were always fun, Hannah.”

“Yeah, sure. Just call me holly jolly Hannah.” We rounded the building. Three reindeer stood in a circular enclosure. One stood outside, a harness covered in bells wrapped around its torso. It shook its head and the bells pealed out with a sharp ring.

Liddy jumped and clapped. “Let’s go!” She pulled me to the end of the line and stopped behind a mom shepherding a boy and girl ahead of her.

“I’ll grab us some hot chocolate.” Chad pointed out the hot chocolate stand several feet away before stepping out of line and whispering, “Reindeer smell.”

“Shut up, Chad.” I hissed through pursed lips when the mother in front of me raised an eyebrow.

“Look, Liddy. They have a sleigh.” I picked her up so she could see the bright red sleigh. A man led the reindeer over and hooked the harness to the sleigh. Off to the side, a man in a bright red Santa suit walked out of a gingerbread house trailer and waved. “Ho, ho, ho. Who’s ready for Santa?”

Screams and cheers clashed in a wild ensemble. Liddy clapped and waved both hands. “Me! Me!”

Chad looked over his shoulder, shook his head, and picked up three cups of hot chocolate. I tried to stop the comparisons running through my mind. Scott and the others built Liddy and I an entire winter wonderland. Chad managed to walk us around town for an hour, but nothing about the encounter felt genuine. He tried to talk to Liddy but gave up after a few minutes of her quiet dismissal.

The contrast made our time together feel forced when I’d hoped for acceptance. Still, he smiled as he carried the cups over and handed me one. Liddy scrambled to get hers.

“Thank you.” I tried one last time to feel something, forcing a smile. But before I knew it, he leaned in, his lips crashing into mine.