17. Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

MIA

I t's been several weeks since Ethan and I decided to start seeing each other, and most days it feels as if I'm walking on cloud nine.

Work is tough, traveling is tough, but Ethan makes everything better.

He usually waits for me until closing time, and our outings often end up in his room.

I've discovered that I wake much earlier, so I usually return to my room to sleep.

My morning routine has been disrupted by stomach queasiness lately, enough to make me throw up as soon as I'm awake, and the motion of my footsteps makes my head go dizzy.

I brush my teeth and gargle mouthwash for good measure, but I still feel miserable. Every time this happens, I feel like calling my mom, but I never do because I know she'll worry over nothing. This is probably just a short-lived virus I got from one of the kids or from traveling so much.

Still, I better see a doctor just in case I have something contagious, I call Simon, my second in command on this trip and a reliable colleague who's been with me for years. Simon is meticulous and dependable, always stepping up when needed, which isn't often since I rarely ever take time off. I ask him to fill in for me until I get back this afternoon.

He agrees and urges me to take more time off, but I brush it off, assuring him I will be back as soon as I can.

I look for the closest urgent care, then call a car for a ride to the address. It's not far and soon I'm in the waiting room.

Everything is white and blue. I check in and am told my name will be called soon. A sign on the wall asking for silence and nothing else, so I shut down my phone and wait for my turn.

The waiting room is nearly empty, just me and a quiet older gentleman with his hands crossed over his stomach, his head hanging low, eyes closed. When he starts to snore, I hold back laughter, realizing that he has fallen asleep on his seat.

"Mr. Fergusson?" a young man in pristine white scrubs calls out, and the older gentleman startles awake, stands, and walks towards him.

Soon after that, another man, slightly older, opens the door and calls out, "Miss Sanders?"

I nod with a forced smile and stand.

"Come with me," he says, waving me inside.

I follow him to a spacious office in the corner of the building.

"Miss Sanders, I'm Doctor Heron," he says politely. "What brings you here?"

I take a seat and pull the chair slightly closer to the desk. I'm shy around doctors. Even though I know they're a force for good, all the prying and probing always feels awkward.

"I've been waking up feeling sick, doctor," I start, flushed red. "It started a week ago, but for the past three days, I've been vomiting too. I think with all the travel and sleepless nights lately, I've picked up a bug."

"U-hum," he nods, jotting down notes. "Are you sexually active?"

Startled, I look up at him. "Why do you ask?"

"Just considering all possibilities, Miss Sanders," the doctor replies calmly, his tone reassuring.

My heart skips a beat as shock creeps through my veins. I try to calm down, reminding myself that I'm on birth control.

But then a realization hits me like a cold chill down my spine. I've been so busy lately, sometimes forgetting to take it on time.

If I'm pregnant, my world will turn upside down. I'm not prepared for a baby.

And neither is Ethan.

My mind immediately flashes back to Ethan's comment about not wanting more kids anytime soon.

I take a deep breath, attempting to slow my overflowing thoughts.

Uncertainty hangs heavy in the air, mixing with the antiseptic smell of the room, and a new queasiness settles in my stomach that has nothing to do with being sick.

"It could just be a virus too, right?" I ask, my voice betraying my anxiety.

"Right." Doctor Heron keeps on taking notes. "That's why we'll be doing some exams to confirm what's going on."

He stands up and leads me to an exam room. "A nurse will be in shortly to take some samples. I will speak with you after," he says before leaving.

A few moments later, a nurse comes in. She smiles warmly and says, "Hello, Miss Sanders. I'm going to do a nose swab and then I'll give you a cup to use the restroom."

I lean forward and the nurse gently swabs the inside of my nose. Then she hands me a cup. "Please use the restroom down the hall and bring the sample back here."

Finally, Doctor Heron returns, holding a folder. "Please, take a seat, Miss Sanders," he says.

Once again, I do as I'm told. "Please don't leave me hanging, doctor…" I say with an awkward smile.

"You have tested negative for the flu and strep," he says, and I wince, bracing for the worst. "However, your pregnancy test has returned a positive. Let me be the first to congratulate you."

I bring my hands to my head and lower my eyes. "I don't feel like being congratulated, doc."

Doctor Heron's eyes widen. He crosses his hands over the desk, nodding with compassion and understanding.

"I assume this is a surprise?" he asks gently.

I nod. "This is the result of a broken condom and my forgetfulness." I rub my eyes and find myself crying. "I feel so guilty."

The doctor replies, "I can give you the address to the local family planning clinic, and—"

I shake my head, "I'm not getting rid of the baby."

Doctor Heron places his hands on the desk, looking thoughtful. "They offer the services of social workers and psychologists too. They can help you figure out what to do." He waits for a moment and then proceeds, "May I ask if there a father in the picture?"

I sigh, "I don't know. We're still dating, but… I don't know!"

I bite down on my lip and push down the urge to cry. Doctor Heron stands, guides me to the reception, and there he offers me a cup of water. He stays with me until his next patient arrives.

I leave with a prescription for pills to help with the nausea as well as the address to family planning clinic, but I toss the latter in the first thrash bin I find. I do need someone to talk to, but not a clinical person — a friend, and that I don't have.

Only Amanda crosses my mind, but she is miles away. Ethan told me she knows about us, and I know she won't tell him anything I don't want her to.

But do I really want to start spreading the news? My contract with the Iron Huskies ends when the Iron Huskies play their final game in the Stanley Cup playoffs. Even if they make it through to the end, that's still less than two months away. That will hopefully give me time to think about what to do about everything, especially how to tell Ethan.

I feel like I was irresponsible and let work distract me from my personal obligations.

In the end, I go back to the hotel alone. On automatic, I get dressed and head for the arena, because there's work to do and everything is behind schedule because of me.