Chapter Twenty-Six James

I'd spent the majority of the past hour fighting my anxiety as it tried to convince me that I'd never hear from Rowan again. Just when I thought everything was finally going my way, Ray"s stupid ass had to turn up and ruin it all. I had to admit there was one thing he was good at, and that was being an insatiable dick.

I wished so badly that he was still out in the front lawn so I could fucking deck him myself. Rowan had gotten a great punch on him, but now I wanted one too. At least that would help me take my mind off the fact that I"d probably just lost the best guy I"d ever dated, even if only for a second.

At one point I did break out of my depression to go switch my laundry, knowing stuff had a tendency to disappear when you didn"t take care of it. And when I got back to my apartment, I found a text waiting on my phone for me.

Rowan: Come down to the beach. We need to talk.

A public place. That never boded well. Men took their lovers to public places to dump them in the hopes that they wouldn't make a scene. At least that's what two decades worth of rom-coms had taught me.

I let out a long sigh. There was no putting it off though. Whatever was going to happen, I wanted to get it over with. The faster I ripped off the bandaid, the faster I could start healing.

Me: Okay. Let me know where you are and I"ll head out.

Rowan: Hardwood Beach. Take the back trail to the top of the dunes.

I stared at my screen for a moment. That was a lot less public than the main beach. Maybe he didn"t trust me not to make a scene. I had dressed him down pretty hard that one time. Or maybe he just wanted to make me work for it. Either way, it didn"t matter. I had to go.

Me: On my way.

A half hour later I found myself clambering up the steep dune, slipping in the sand as I trudged my way to the top. By the time I got there I was panting like a dog and dripping in sweat. It was a hot day. However, the moment I crested the top a cool breeze whipped up off the lake and I had to stand there for a moment with my arms wide to let it wash over me.

"It feels good, doesn't it?"

I whipped to the right to see Rowan sitting there in the sand with his back against one of the few trees that clung to the peak of the dune. I'd been so busy trying to breathe that I hadn't even noticed him there.

"Y-Yeah," I said, unable to think of anything else.

"I can see why you like this place so much," he continued, still staring out at the horizon. "When I first got there, I couldn't understand why someone would want to live in such a podunk little place. But the longer I'm here, the more I realize that this town and this beach… they really are the most beautiful things in the world." He glanced up at me. "Well, second most beautiful."

I wasn't sure if I felt a rush of panic or elation at his words. Maybe it was a combination of both. Whatever it was, it caused words to start spilling from my mouth like a torrent.

"I'm so sorry, Rowan. I didn't know Ray was in town and I should've told you about the texts he sent me last weekend. He was trying to manipulate me and being an asshole. I told him off and blocked him thinking that would be the end of it. I never expected him to show up on my doorstep like that. When I told him about you he grabbed me and forced me into a kiss to try to make you feel bad and I know you've got some trauma about stuff like that so it was the last thing I ever wanted you to see. You have to know, he doesn't mean anything to me–"

"James," Rowan said, reaching out and taking my hand before pulling me down into his lap. "I know."

I stared at him for a long moment. "You… You do?"

"Well, I don't know all the details, but I could tell from the way you reacted that you didn't want him around and that you weren't involved with him. That's why I hit him so hard." He pulled me in tight, kissing my forehead. "Nobody touches my baby without his permission."

Oh boy, that caused some butterflies in my stomach.

"So… you… you don't hate me?"

He shook his head. "No. I knew the moment I got there that you weren't doing that on purpose to try to hurt me." He paused for a moment, his brown eyes traveling back to the horizon. "But you're right, it did dredge some stuff up that I had to think through before I could figure out what I wanted to do."

"Yeah…" I turned my gaze away too. "So… what did you decide?"

"Well, I had to call up and friend and ask some advice."

"Adam?"

"Mm-hmm. And he gave it to me straight. Or well… gay I guess. I don't think Adam could do anything straight."

That made me smile.

"He told me I should be honest with you."

I looked up at him, preparing myself for what I was about to hear. "And what's the truth you need to tell me?"

Rowan took a deep breath before leaning down and pressing his lips to mine. He kissed me long and deep, his tongue swirling around mine with a passionate sweetness that I'd never felt before. When he finally pulled away and began to speak, I already knew what he was going to say. His kiss had told me everything.

"I love you, James," he said breathlessly. "I know it's fast and maybe I shouldn't feel this way already, but–"

I placed a finger on his lips, silencing him.

"I love you too, Rowan."

"Really?"

"Of course I do!" I couldn't help but laugh. "I think I have for a while. But I didn't want to say something and cause you to run off. I know how difficult this entire transition has been for you and you're still working through your breakup too. I know you've been feeling much better this past week, but I didn't want to tempt fate." I reached out, cupping his face in my hands. "I decided that if it was meant to be, you'd be the one to tell me first. The last thing I wanted to do was seem like I was using your recent tragedy to manipulate you."

He seemed to melt in my hands, his fingers digging into my lower back as he pulled me closer. "I thought you'd think I was stupid for saying it. Or childish."

"Not at all. It's fast, you're right, but what's the point of waiting around to be happy?" I pulled him into another long kiss. "I'd love to stay by your side as long as you'll have me."

"That might be a really long time," Rowan replied with a smile. "I hope you're ready for that."

I nodded. "I am."

"Can we start now?"

"We already have."

I stayed there in his lap, the pair of use exchanging kisses in the cool breeze. The world around us seemed to brighten, filling in all the dark corners and gaps with a plethora of love that neither of us knew we could feel. When we finally pulled apart, Rowan took out his phone and handed it to me.

"Will you take a picture of us together?" he asked, blushing as he held me tight. "I… I want to remember this moment forever. And I want to tell people about my new… boyfriend."

"Are you sure you're ready for that?"

He nodded.

"Alright," I smiled, holding the phone out to capture us both. "Say cheese!"

The phone chimed in my hand and the screen flashed, a perfect picture appearing on the screen of myself in the arms of the man I loved. That one beautiful moment captured forever that we could always look back to and see how desperately in love we were.

"I guess I should probably update my relationship status," I said, handing his phone back to him. "And delete my dating apps. I'm not gonna need those again. Also, you better get ready for all the questions you're gonna get. If anyone is an ass, just let me know. I'll take them out."

Rowan just smiled, kissing me again. "I really am the luckiest man in the world."

"I might have you beat there," I smiled back.

"I love you, baby."

"I love you too."