32. Emmett

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

emmett

Bennyand I may look the same, even share similar tastes when it comes to music, movies, and all of that, but we are two completely different people. Because while I sit here, mortified at the thought of being attracted to Jonah because he somehow resembles my pseudo-father figure, Jasper, Benny doesn’t seem to give a shit about the comparison made between Harrison and Kole.

Either that, or he’s trying to get revenge on Asher for even suggesting it because as Benny stands, he turns to him and says, “On that note, I’m going to go home and fuck my Kole. Might even call out Kole’s name. Picture him. Think of all the things I could do⁠—”

Asher stands too now, so fast that his chair almost topples backward. “Do that and I’ll⁠—”

Benny runs away, using the small side entrance instead of the main one out the front and calling out, “Shouldn’t have made the comparison.”

Asher sits back down. “I’m sorry to be the one to have to tell you this, Emmett, but after today, you will no longer have a twin.”

“He only did it to get a rise out of you,” I say. “He has to be as disgusted as I am.”

“Hey, what’s wrong with falling for a Jasper?” West asks.

“How would you like it if I pointed out you practically married Dad?” Oh, dear God, Jonah is like my dad. And Jasper.

West screws up his face.

“See?” I point out. “How is it we both have daddy issues?”

Jonah reaches for my hand on top of the table. “I would assume becoming an orphan probably had something to do with it.”

I pull my hand out from beneath his. “Yeah, I’m going to need you to not touch me for a while.”

Jonah has the balls to chuckle at me. “Over before we even got a real chance.”

“Oh, we are so not over, but yeah, I’m never having sex again. Hope you’re okay with that.”

“I’m okay with that,” West says. “Then I don’t have to picture you in all kinds of compromising positions when you’re like my damn child. Just no. No.”

All it takes is for West to acknowledge me as his child for me to let everything go. The thing is, Jonah and Jasper do have a lot of similarities, but that’s not a bad thing. Jasper is an amazing husband to West. When West gets flustered or overwhelmed, Jasper is there to fix whatever problem he’s having. If it’s not a fixable problem, then Jasper is still by his side, being supportive.

Yeah, there are worse things that could happen than having my … boyfriend-type person being compared to an amazing husband. It will just be difficult to push past imagining Jasper whenever Jonah touches me now.

I hate Asher.

“Are you two going to fly home now?” I ask West and Asher.

They look at each other.

“Part of me wishes one of us could stay so we could make sure you and Benny are back on track, but I thought you were going to come home and try to get back into hockey and training with me? Has that changed now because of …” West glances at Jonah.

That was my plan, and it should still be my plan. But as I take in Jonah, his nerdy-ish appearance, and the acknowledgment that he is willing to tutor Benny on the DL so I don’t have to leave, I can’t up and abandon him now.

Jonah cuts in. “I’d like to clarify that I offered to tutor Ben so you had the chance to stay, but you don’t have to take it. You can still choose to leave, and I’ll still tutor Benny.”

The thing is, if Benny’s not moving home, then I don’t want to either, and I also want to stay so I can see where this thing can go with Jonah. Eventually, I will want to move because I know this isn’t the place for me. This isn’t home. But Jonah could be. “I’ll get Fletcher to do some training with me at the rink. At least enough to get me physically ready for all the technical reconditioning you’ll have me do back in Vermont. Eventually.”

“Eventually,” Asher mumbles. “I’m not saying you’re making a mistake, but you know how fast the hockey industry moves. You and Benny were hot commodities three years ago. There’s only a small window of opportunity before hockey forgets you completely.”

No fucking pressure. “I know. But …” I reach for Jonah’s hand this time and don’t get the heebie-jeebies over the Jasper comparison. “I had a choice three years ago between Benny and hockey, and I chose Benny. Here I am, with the same decision but with Jonah, and I’m realizing I do love hockey. I want to be a part of hockey. But that doesn’t mean it has to be in the NHL. Or AHL. Or even playing. I will work my ass off to try to get back to where I was, but I don’t need to make it in professional hockey. When it comes to priorities, it’s Benny”—I lift my hand above my head to show where Benny sits on the important list—“hockey”—I move it down now—“Jonah”—a bit lower—“NHL.”

Am I worried Jonah won’t like being third on my list? Yes, but if he knows me at all⁠—

“Really? I’m third?”

I hold my breath because I can’t decipher his tone.

Then, he smiles. “That’s awesome.”

“It is?” all three of us reply at the same time.

“From the moment I found out that you and Benny were two different people, and watching you and him defend each other so forcefully, I knew that I would always come second to your brother. As for hockey, you’re still figuring out what you want with life, and that’s okay. Hockey should be your priority. I’m excited that I’m a factor at all. You’re choosing what we have over pushing yourself to have a chance at the NHL. You’re prioritizing me over being a famous hockey player.” His eyes are soft. “No one ever has shown that kind of loyalty to me before. It really makes me accept that what I’m doing here, what I’ve offered … I made the right choice too.”

I can’t hold back anymore, and I don’t even care that we’re in public, in front of my older brothers, or that I still can’t get the Jasper comparison out of my head. I lean over and kiss the man I’m easily falling for.

The man I probably just fell completely and totally in love with.

“Eww, get a room,” Asher says.

“Real mature,” West replies.

When Jonah and I pull apart, we can’t take our eyes off each other.

“On that note,” West says. “We’ll leave you two to it. I’ll let you know when we both get flights home so you can at least pull yourself away from your boyfriend for enough time to say goodbye. Same goes for Benny.”

I tense at the boyfriend label out loud, but only because I’m scared Jonah will freak out. He doesn’t. Of course he doesn’t.

“I need to find a flight to Dallas so I can catch up with the team on the road,” Asher says.

West huffs. “Did you see that article this morning, speculating over why you were a scratch when you’ve been playing your ass off this season and are probably the only reason Buffalo is playoff-bound?”

“Do I want to know?” Asher asks.

“They think you told your coach to eat shit and die and so you got put in the time-out corner.” West snickers.

“Pfft,” Asher scoffs. “I haven’t told anyone to eat shit and die in years, thank you very much. I’m a grown-up now.”

“So, I won’t pull up the viral video of you mouthing it at one of the refs only a few months ago?”

“Mouthing it isn’t saying it.”

They keep bickering as they walk out of the coffee shop, leaving Jonah and me alone. Finally.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this for me,” I say.

“What’s so unbelievable? You’re worth giving the world to.”

“Okay, we need to go back to your house. Right now.” I don’t even feel guilty about abandoning my full coffee, and as Jonah throws his out on the way outside, he doesn’t seem to either.

No sooner do we get back to Jonah’s apartment, we’re naked and I’m on my knees.

Jonah’s cock is warm and hard on my tongue, his velvety skin pulled tight around his shaft. He tastes like the best decision I’ve ever made.

Not that it would be difficult to be that, considering every decision up to this point has been questionable, but being with him feels like the right choice.

I keep my eyes on him while I bob my head and suck his cock. His perfect, amazing cock.

But when Jonah throws his head back and I can no longer see his face, the comparison to Jasper fills my mind again, and I have to pull off him.

I shake the thought free, but not before telling Jonah to watch me while I give him pleasure. I need his brown eyes on mine. I need that eye contact. That connection.

My own cock aches, and as much as I want to reach between my legs and jerk myself off until I come all over the floor, I don’t want to come until I’m on his dick. I want him to fuck me. Face-to-face. With him on top or me, I don’t care.

I’m so desperate for it that instead of pulling off him again to wet my fingers with saliva, I let myself drool all over his dick while I suck and then stroke him, covering my fingers with as much spit as I can.

Jonah groans as I reach behind me and start prepping my hole. “I want to do that.”

I shake my head as subtly as I can with a mouth full of cock. I’m not finished tasting him, driving him so close to the edge without letting him dive right off it.

Jonah grips me under my arm and hauls me to my feet despite my whine. He turns us so he can drop back on the bed and move up so his head is on his pillow. “Climb on top of me and face that way.” He points toward his feet.

“No, I need to be looking at you.”

“Is this the whole comparison thing to West’s husband?”

I hesitate. “Maybe?”

“What if I keep talking to you? Please let me do something. I’m itching to touch you.”

“Fine. But you need to keep talking.” I do as he says and throw my leg over his waist, shuffling backward until I’m sitting on his chest facing his feet.

Jonah runs his hands down my back and then shoves me forward by the middle of my shoulder blades.

I bend over, exposing my hole to him while my face lands right in front of his cock again. I lick the tip of his dick and hear the snap of a lube bottle opening behind me.

When his slippery fingers push inside my hole, I engulf his cock all the way to the base.

“That feels so good.” Jonah’s hips lift up.

Good, he remembered to keep talking.

Because the idea of him being … I shudder, nope. Not going to think about that. Not while I’m doing this. And not while his fingers are pressing against my prostate and driving me wild.

I have to release his cock so I can take a deep enough breath. “Keep … talking,” I rasp and then take him in my mouth again.

“Your hole is so tight. I can’t wait to be inside it. I can’t wait for the day we can go bareback and my cum will drip out of you.”

I moan around his cock.

“I want to claim you.” He adds to his fingers now. I have no idea how many he’s up to, but I hope it’s a billion, and I’ll be ready for all of that to happen.

I want to be claimed. I want him to come inside me so I can feel all of him.

I want⁠—

“Time to hop up, or I’m going to come in your mouth instead,” Jonah says.

Thank fuck.

I sit up and look at him over my shoulder. “How do you want me?”

“You said face-to-face, didn’t you?” He taps my leg to get me to climb off him, and when I do, he pulls himself into a seated position, using the headboard as a backrest. He looks so hot with his hair a spikey mess, his plump lips shiny, and his eyes hooded. His hard cock points up toward his abs, the head of his dick all red and needy.

He holds out his hand for me. “Come here.”

I take his hand and throw my leg back over him so I’m facing him this time.

Our cocks line up between us, and while I’m eager to get him inside me, the way he’s looking at me has me rooted in place.

“You’re so amazing,” Jonah says.

The fact he could still think that after everything Benny and I did … it almost breaks me.

I want to say I’m not amazing. I don’t make the right decisions, but Jonah having faith in me that everything I have done was for what I thought was the best for everyone involved … It gives me faith that this decision? Choosing him over moving back to Vermont?

It’s the first time in a long time where I’ve made the right choice.