12. Laura

Chapter 12

Laura

T he second show is twice as crowded compared to the first. Angelo's running around playing host and talking up my work while I linger near the bar drinking a martini and trying to pretend like I'm not nervous as hell. Elena's talking my ear off, and while I'm only half listening, I actually appreciate the company this time around.

I'm in my ram mask again with my big twisted demon horns. But this time, I repainted the front black and gold to match Jackal's color scheme. Now that I'm here and standing around waiting for him, I'm starting to feel like a total moron. I mean, I'm matching his mask like we're going to prom together? It's silly and childish, and I'm starting to think he got one look at me and decided that I wasn't worth the trouble.

"Angelo looks like he's in heaven," Elena says and I can see her grin through her small lacy mask. It barely covers her eyes and mouth. "The guy loves this club more than anything, and you just filled a room with rich people."

"Isn't every member of Cage a rich person?" I ask, sipping my drink and craning my neck to skim the crowd. It's been an hour and there's still no sign of him.

"Absolutely stinking rich, but half the guests tonight aren't actually members. By the end of the evening, I bet Angelo and Claudia bag themselves a few new whales."

"I'm so happy for my brother. Now his fancy whore house will make him even more money."

Elena cackles and elbows my side. "Don't let him hear you call it that. Cage is a sex club , not a whore house."

"I fail to see the difference."

"Technically, the men aren't paying the women." Elena's eyebrows waggle. "Emphasis on the technically part."

I smile in response and try to cover my anxiety with more drinking, which is probably a bad idea. I'm a lightweight, and if I have another one of these, I'll be staggering around, blind drunk, and I doubt Jackal will like that.

Except why shouldn't I drink? This is my show and these people are here to look at my art. Their checkbooks are opening because they like what I've done, and shouldn't I get to celebrate that a little bit? It's pathetic that I'm sitting here at the bar worried about what some total stranger is going to think about my drinking and pining after him like a teenager.

God, I'm inexperienced. I haven't been romantically involved with a man in a very long time. And I'm not even sure romantically is the right word to use for whatever I'm doing with Jackal. Aggressive fuck buddies? Thrill sex junkies? Control bang buddies? Something like that. Either way, I don't know how to emotionally handle this, because I've never had to handle anything like it before.

I spent years in my house making art and processing what happened to me. I've moved on from my trauma, but I found that I like being a recluse and making things. Art fills my days and gives my life purpose. It's not messy, there's no uncertainty, it's all under my control.

Jackal is none of those things. He's messy, random, and way beyond me. And yet here I am, wanting more of him, even though he's exactly what I've tried to avoid for so long now.

I spot Claudia coming toward me through the crowd. She looks incredible in a flowy dress and a feathery peacock mask. I can see what my brother likes about her. She's serious, very clever, and even though she had a terrible upbringing, she's about as loyal as they get, and she works ten times harder than anyone else I've ever met.

"Have I told you how happy I am that you decided to do this again?" Claudia leans against the bar next to me and gives Elena a quick air kiss, their masks bumping slightly. "Seriously, Laura, Cage has never been so popular before. I just had, like, three millionaires ask if we're going to start doing more art shows in the future."

"Happy I could help," I murmur.

"Also, all your pieces are sold, and they went for five times what they did at the last show. Congrats, you're even richer."

That gets my attention. "They're all sold? Really?" I stand up straighter. "What about the jackal ear? Who bought that?"

"Some old German guy. I think the name was like Mueller or whatever?" She shakes her head. "I can double check if you want."

"No, that's totally fine." Raw disappointment roils in my guts.

She beams at me, eyes sparkling with excitement, oblivious to how I'm feeling. Wearing a mask has its benefits. "It's amazing. I'm so, so happy for you."

"Thanks." I clear my throat and take a drink. "Sorry, I'm going to go for a little walk around the room."

"You okay?" Elena asks, and she reaches to touch my arm, but I step away before she can. I'm not really the touching type—except for with him .

"Totally fine."

I go for a lap. Once again, nobody knows that I'm the artist, and that suits me fine. Nobody bothers me, and I can observe the crowd while getting my head in a better place.

The first thing I felt when Claudia said all my pieces sold was disappointment.

I had wanted Jackal to buy one—ideally, the jackal ear I finished only last night. I should have set it aside as a gift for him, but I had assumed he was going to show up on time. Instead, it's over an hour past the opening, and he's still nowhere to be seen.

This is stupid. I need to get myself together. I've had two tiny little encounters with this random guy, and here I am thinking about him all the time.

Jackal is dangerous. He proved that when he hacked into my computer. He's also a selfish prick—as evidenced by his absence tonight. If I keep letting myself get more deeply attached to him, I'm going to end up getting hurt.

I need to keep reminding myself that whatever's going on with me and him, it's only about the game and nothing more.

Another hour passes. I stick with Elena, Stefania, Emily, and Claudia, and there's no sign of Jackal. The party slowly begins to break up, and Angelo brags about how many new prospective members left him their information. I'm happy for my brother and my sister-in-law, and I should be happy for myself since this second showing went even better than the first, but it feels hollow.

I didn't do this for the accolades. I did it to see Jackal again.

Maybe I need to rethink my priorities.

The best part of this evening was getting my ass out of the house. Seeing Jackal reawakened some of my desire to get out into the world, and that should be a positive thing. Jackal and our game is just a catalyst—the real focus should be on finding my footing and deciding what I want to do with my life. Aside from hiding out in my basement breathing rock dust until I grow old and die.

As the night winds down, I get my second martini and excuse myself from the group. "I'm getting some air before we head back to the oasis," I tell Elena. "I'll meet you all downstairs in a little while."

She nods like she understands why I'm in a melancholy mood. I head over to the stairs and take them up to the emergency exit. When I push out, the cool night air feels good on my throat, and I take a few deep breaths to steady myself as I stare out at the skyline.

I tip my mask up and take a sip. The vodka warms my throat and belly. I fight against the disappointment swimming up through my guts. Jackal is just a guy; the game is only a game.

It doesn't matter that he's not here.

"Took you long enough, little demon."

I go very still. My heart starts racing and a chill runs down my back. I turn, and there he is, leaning against some tall ductwork, his arms crossed over his chest. The gold on his mask gleams in the moonlight, and he comes toward me, prowling like a jungle cat.

"You're here." The words escape before I can stop them. I close my jaw, frustrated with myself.

"I've been waiting for you." He stops a few feet away from me, his muscular arms crossed over his big chest. "How was the show?"

"It went good. You've been up here this whole time?"

He nods slowly. "I thought you'd want a private meeting sooner or later."

"I hoped you'd see what I made." I tilt my head and look away. "But I guess it doesn't matter. It's all sold now."

"Don't worry, little demon. I made the rounds without you noticing, and I even picked out the best of the bunch."

I stare at him, chin tilted up. "Seriously?"

"The jackal ear. You made that for me, didn't you? I had to purchase it under an assumed name, but I love it. You're very talented, Laura."

His praise hits me hard and I struggle not to let it overwhelm me. This is just a game . I don't want to let this rush of emotions take over. I can't forget how I felt downstairs just now. I let myself get all excited and obsessive, and it only made me miserable.

It gave him even more power.

He can take control when we're playing. I like it when he's bossing me around. But I can't let him push my emotions around, even if that's not his intention. I need to get control of myself, which means I need to keep him at a safe distance.

This is only a game .

"Next time, don't keep me waiting." I turn away and start back toward the door. Every part of me wants to stay, but I need to show him that I won't just wait around for him whenever he wants me to. If he wants to play, then he'd better start playing my way, too.

"Wait," he says and follows after me.

I reach the door and pause, looking back. "You're bad for me. You know that, don't you?"

Even through the mask, I can tell that makes him uncomfortable. "I know," he says, his voice strained. "And you're very bad for me. Do you know how dangerous this is? Me coming here like this? Pulling it off once was hard enough, but your brother's security team isn't stupid. They increased all their defense measures and made this fifty times harder. I should never have come."

"But here you are." I cock my head. "Is that why you're hiding up here?"

"It's too much of a risk inside. I should have told you earlier."

I relax slightly. My hand falls away from the door as I turn to him. "We should stop this then," I say.

"You're right. We should." He pauses and lets that sink in. "But I don't want to."

"I don't want to, either," I admit.

"I want to offer you a deal." He turns away and walks toward the edge of the roof. I hesitate, not wanting to cede power back into his hands, but I'm too tempted. I follow after, leaving space between us.

"It'd better be a good one. I'm ten seconds away from going home."

"If we're going to see each other more, we can't come to Cage again. If you're willing to agree to that, I promise I'll find more suitable locations."

"Locations where we can play?"

He looks back at me and nods. There's a strange hunger in his eyes, obvious even through the mask. "Yes, little demon, places where we can play."

I take a deep, shuddering breath and close my eyes. This is a bad idea. But also, it's just a game . Those two feelings war against each other.

I want Jackal, but I'm afraid of giving too much to him. I need Jackal, but it terrifies me, needing another person. It would be so much easier to turn around, walk away, and go back to the way things were.

Except I'm not sure I can.

"I'll give you one more chance," I say, faking some bravado, and I'm pretty sure he can see through it.

"Even though we're no good for each other?" He turns and faces me. "Close your eyes, Laura. Take off your mask."

I know that tone. It's a command, not a request, but it's also an invitation. Slowly, I pull the chin of my mask up, and tilt it back.

He looks at my face and comes closer.

"I like the colors," he says, speaking very softly. I strain to hear him, hanging on his words, on his tone. "You did that for me, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did."

"You did it because you're mine. You marked yourself for me, and you wanted to show the whole room who owns you."

I shiver and close my eyes. I nod my head slowly. I hear him come closer, the creak of his shoes on the patchy roof.

"You can't stop our game, even if you want to. That scares you, doesn't it? But, baby, it scares me too. Only I like being scared, and I think you like it too."

"I don't know what I like," I admit. But also, I know I like being around him. It's strange, but there's something about the mask. It makes me feel safe.

"Tonight, I want you to go back to your house, open your laptop, turn it toward you on your bed, and touch yourself while thinking of me." He's standing very close now. I'm shaking with anticipation. "I'll give you something to help, but you have to keep your eyes closed. Can you do that?" He's inches away now.

"Yes, I can," I say, and my voice trembles. My eyes stay shut.

"Don't peek, baby," he says and his breath is warm against my neck.

I whimper, unable to help myself. God, this man, I don't even know what his face looks like, and he has me soaking wet and shaking for him, anticipating his every move.

His lips press to my neck. I bite my lip to keep myself from moaning. He kisses up to my jawline, across my cheek, to the corner of my lips. I keep my eyes squeezed shut, but if I opened them right now, I'd see his face and I'd know exactly who my torturer is.

Except that would ruin everything.

And it doesn't matter.

Because he buries my mouth with his, and every other thought vacates my brain.

The kiss sears into me. His lips are soft with a hint of stubble around the edges, and he's gentle at first, probing my mouth, before his lips open and his tongue invades between my teeth. I moan into him, unable to help it, as his grassy and whiskey-tinged taste floods me, sending ripples and shivers down my spine.

His strong hands hold onto me, one on my lower back, the other in my hair, and he pulls me tighter against him. Jackal is big and muscular, and he has to feel my heart racing through my skin as he keeps kissing me, devouring me, a kiss like I've never experienced before. More than a kiss: a promise of something to come, a promise of more games, more kissing, more experiences than I've never had. I luxuriate in his kiss, let myself get lost in his lips, and I feel like I'm drifting outside of myself. I don't want it to stop, and it feels like it goes on forever, before he finally pulls away and leaves me panting for air.

"Fuck, baby," he says as I open my eyes. I catch a glimpse of a strong jaw and full lips as he hurries to pull down the mask. "Think about that tonight, and I'll be watching."

"Promise?" I ask, face flushed and skin raw with excitement.

"Promise." He touches my hip and the other hand brushes my cheek. Then he's walking away and I watch him disappear through the doors and down into the guts of Cage.

I give him a ten count.

Then I rush inside, eager to get back to my bedroom.