Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

Blythe

T he best of The Rolling Stones played through the speakers of my phone as I moved throughout the living room with furniture polish and a rag. It was one of the very rare days I was off work at the same time the kids were at school, so I had the whole house to myself. Well, Koda and me, but she was perfect company. Unless she needed to go outside, she stayed curled up in her dog bed and snoozed while I went about cleaning.

I lifted my hand and swiped at the beads of sweat on my forehead with the back of my wrist. When I first started, I hadn’t given much thought to the size of his house, but the ache in my back and knees, and the sweat making my shirt stick to my body brought that to the forefront of my mind.

Well, second to the forefront, actually. The number one spot was designated for what had happened the night before with Rhodes on the back porch. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what he said, that near kiss, or how all of it made me feel.

That was why I’d woken up and decided cleaning the house from top to bottom was a great idea—spoiler alert, it wasn’t. I woke up feeling like my skin was two sizes too small. I was tense and twitchy. An anxious buzz thrummed in my veins, like I had bees beneath my skin. I’d needed to find something to do to occupy my time so I didn’t spend the entire day thinking of how badly I wished Rhodes had kissed me, and calling Sunny wasn’t an option. If I confessed what happened to my best friend, she’d get excited, and I didn’t want to get her hopes up. Hell, I didn’t want to get my hopes up.

I didn’t have the first clue what I was doing, but I knew I was in trouble when I checked the clock for the third time in as many hours. I told myself I wasn’t eagerly waiting for Rhodes to get home, but I was full of shit.

After cleaning the entire house, I somehow still had energy to spare, so I went through the kitchen and made an extensive grocery list. The local market had started making deliveries, so I called in everything I needed for meals for the next week, a few staples I had to keep on hand for the kids, and the stuff I’d seen Rhodes snacking on.

While I waited for my grocery delivery, I cleaned out the fridge, tossing out anything expired, and scrubbed down the shelves. I was just finished loading the last item back in its designated spot when the chime of the doorbell echoed through the house and sent Koda racing toward the door.

“Yeah, I heard it,” I told Koda as she looked back and forth between me and the door, like she was trying to tell me there was someone on the other side. “You’re the smartest girl in the whole wide world, aren’t you?” I cooed as I twisted the knob and opened the front door.

Laughter died in my throat and my smile fell as soon as I looked up and saw who was standing on the front porch.

“Hi,” I said, caught off guard at the sight of Grace standing in front of me. It took a moment to realize what she was doing here, then I noticed the reusable grocery bags hanging from her arms.

“Hi, um...” She tilted sideways and looked over my shoulder into the house. “Is Rhodes here? I have his groceries.” She lifted her arms in indication.

“Oh, uh, no. He’s at work. Those are actually mine.”

The tension in the air grew even thicker when her brow furrowed in confusion. “If they’re yours, why are they...?”

She trailed off, not saying another word until I was forced to break the silence. “Yeah, my kids and I moved in a little over a week ago.”

The color drained from her face as her lips parted in shock. “You’re living here,” she repeated quietly.

“Um... yeah.” This whole situation was getting more awkward by the second. “Here, let me help?—”

She jerked the bags away when I reached out to take them from her. “It’s fine,” she said, her tone as hard as her expression. Her cheeks went from pale to flushed in just a few seconds. “It’s my job.”

“Sure... okay.” I stepped aside, unsure what else to do. I didn’t necessarily want her inside, given the sudden shift in her demeanor, but I also needed those groceries, and there was no way in hell I’d be going back to Fresh Foods and risk another run-in with her.

She moved through the house like she was familiar with it, going straight to the kitchen and placing the bags on the island.

“There are a few more in the car,” she muttered on her way past. “Be right back.”

I looked down at Koda with wide eyes. “What the hell was that about?” I whispered to her. She quirked her head in response like she was just as confused as I was. Since she wasn’t going to let me help her carry bags in, I started to unload the ones on the island, placing items where they belonged.

“You’ve really made yourself at home, haven’t you?”

I set the can of refried beans I’d just grabbed back on the counter and turned to look at her as she dumped the last of my groceries on the island. “Excuse me?”

She waved a hand around the kitchen, then into the living room. Rhodes had told me and the kids to make this place our home, so that was what we’d done. Aside from the pictures he had on the mantel, there wasn’t much in the way of decoration, so I’d hung some of the paintings I had in storage. The oversized chenille blanket stretched across the back of the couch was mine, as were the decorative throw pillows and the rug beneath the coffee table.

Avett’s tennis shoes were by the door, and there was a basket of Ainsley’s favorite toys in the corner by the window. The house felt lived in and homey, something that had been missing before, and clearly, the woman standing in front of me wasn’t happy about it.

“I’m sorry. Have I done something to offend you?”

Her lips pulled into a sneer. “No, of course you haven’t.” When she spun around and started out of the house, I followed with the intension of shutting and locking the door behind her. Only, before she made it onto the porch, she stopped and turned around. “You know, I could have made him happy.”

I rocked back on my heel with the force of her words and the anguish in her eyes. “What?”

“Rhodes. I could have really made him happy. If he had given me the chance, I know I could have.”

My heart ached for her. Whatever feelings Rhodes had for her, Grace’s had been so much more for him. He might have played it down, saying it had only been a few months, but it was obvious in that short time, she’d fallen in love with him. I knew all too well what it felt like to be hurt by the person you loved. I’d lived it more times than I cared to mention.

“Grace, I’m really sorry?—”

“You should be.” She let out a watery laugh that held a hefty amount of pain and blinked up at the ceiling, fighting back tears. “I tried everything to get him to let me in, but his heart was locked up so tight, I never had a shot. Because he’s still wrapped up in you.”

“My history with Rhodes is complicated,” I defended, my pity quickly starting to morph into annoyance. “That’s between him and me. And, no offense, but it’s also none of your business.”

She held her chin up, despite the way it trembled. “You’re only going to end up hurting him. If you guys didn’t work out the first time, what makes you think it’ll work now, huh?”

I made sure to keep my voice calm as I replied, “I could ask you the same question, but I really don’t care what you’d have to say about it. I don’t want to be mean, because it’s obvious you’re hurting, and I can sympathize with that. Probably more than you can imagine. But you walked in here swinging, so it is what it is. You obviously have no idea about my history with Rhodes, and I’m not going to waste my time schooling you. Think what you want, but do it somewhere else, because this is my home, and it’s time for you to go.”

She sniffled at the same time her eyes narrowed into vicious slits. “I might not know your history, but I do know one thing. That man has been living half a life all these years, and he deserves better than that. If you aren’t going to make him whole, you need to let him go so someone else has a chance to be that for him.”

With that, she turned on her heel and stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

The bell over the door chimed as I pushed inside the salon. My mom paused in sweeping the loose hair at her station and turned my way, smiling brightly when she spotted me. “Blythe? Well, this is a pleasant surprise.”

“Hey. I was hoping to catch you before you headed home.” Because I needed her advice, and as much as I loved Trick like he was my own father, this wasn’t a situation he could really help with.

Mom propped the handle of the broom against the ledge at her station and crossed her arms. “Is everything okay?”

I let out a sigh that sounded as heavy as it felt. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what Grace said on her way out about Rhodes only living half a life, and with every passing minute, the weight on my chest grew. “I don’t know, Mom.”

She gave me that quintessential mother expression. It was one I hadn’t fully understood until I became a mother myself, an expression that said she felt every single thing her child was feeling. “Come on back to the wash station, honey pie.” She waved me forward. “I’ll give you a nice head massage and blowout and you can tell me all about it.”

My eyes welled up as I smiled. This was what she used to do whenever things got too hard for me to handle. She’d bring me here and wash my hair, lulling me into relaxation and making it easier for me to open up about what was wrong in my world.

The familiar sensation of her fingers combing through my hair and massaging my head took me back to my childhood. This was one of my happiest places outside of the lookout, and I was with the one person who always made me feel safest.

My eyes closed on a deep, soothing exhale as my mother worked my hair into a lather. “Talk to me, sweetheart. What brought you to my chair?”

“How did you know you were ready to let someone else in? I mean, after everything you went through with my father.” I refused to call the man Dad. He’d lost the right to that title years ago.

She inhaled deeply, her gaze trailing off as she thought of how to answer. “It wasn’t about knowing when I was ready. It was about meeting the man I couldn’t stop thinking about, the man I wanted despite everything I had been through. When our divorce was finalized, I honestly didn’t know if I would ever date again, but Trick made me so happy, I couldn’t help but fall for him.”

That hit me in the center of my chest. I thought about what Avett said the night before about being happy.

“It’s just... after everything that happened, I don’t know if I can trust myself again. My vision blurred with tears, one breaking free and trailing into the wet hair at my temple. My mother brushed it away with her knuckle before turning the water on to just the right temperature to rinse the shampoo from my hair.

“Oh, baby girl, I understand. Being cheated on can be a real blow to your self-esteem. And I can’t imagine having to find out the way you did. I wouldn’t fault you for wanting to keep your heart under lock and key. However, only you can decide if protecting it from ever being hurt again is worth being alone.”

I spun those words around in my head as she conditioned my hair and rinsed again. Finally, she wrapped the wet ends in a towel and helped me sit up, coming around to crouch in front of me and take my chin between her thumb and index finger. “But I’ll tell you something, I’d go through all that pain again and again if it led me to Trick. You and Tristan are the best things I ever created, but he’s the best chance I’ve ever taken.”

Another tear slipped free as I smiled at my mom. “I love that you found that.”

“Me too, honey pie,” she whispered. “And something tells me that, if you’re willing to take the same chance, there’s something just as special waiting for you. Most people are lucky enough to find love once. But then there are those of us who are blessed enough to get it twice in a lifetime. It would be a shame if you threw that way, don’t you think?”