Chapter 11

Orion

"I'm really sorry that I couldn't show you my place yesterday as promised," I said to Raya as she got into my car. "Things went haywire so quickly."

"I should've just told you we could do it another time once I knew what the meeting was about. The media might not be as aggressive here as it is in the States, but they have just as many questions. Maybe more. Have they stopped calling you yet?" She asked.

We pulled out of the school parking lot, and I replied, "Haven't had one in almost an hour. Maybe they have run out of things to ask. With any luck, we won't have any interruptions."

"Please don't worry about it. You're the Vice President now. That takes priority over showing me your house. We can make it a quick tour and then you drop me back off at the resort if you would like," she suggested.

"I wouldn't like that at all." I reached over for her hand and pulled it onto my lap while I drove. "I've been thinking of you all day."

"I've been wanting to see you too," she replied, softly.

Good.

"Before we get to my house, I need to ask, is there anything work-related we need to discuss? Because if there is, I would like to get that out of the way so we can just enjoy ourselves the rest of the time," I said.

She giggled. "Sorry to disappoint you, but I have nothing but good things to report today. I do have some photos and videos that I would like to show you. But since you're driving, they will need to wait."

"Videos? Of what?" Thankfully, her tone didn't have me worried.

"You seem to be the superhero at the school. They couldn't be prouder of you. I must admit, I wasn't sure what to expect when they all started to arrive this morning. But my mind was set at ease when I overheard their conversations about ‘their Mr. Moyer'. You might be Vice President, but you are still theirs."

Smiling, I said, "Thank you for sharing that with me. I...I miss them a lot." Even more than I expected to. "When I accepted this position, it wasn't easy. I knew I was going to give up something I loved; something I believed in. Helping the youth become the best they could be. Help them believe in themselves so they can achieve their goals, chase their own dreams, and not the ones that were expected of them."

"I love that, but it's an...unusual way of thinking for Tabiq. What made you feel so passionate about that?" she asked.

We hadn't shared much about our personal lives, and for good reason. I wasn't sure about her, but I tried to keep my personal and professional lives separate. We'd crossed that line yesterday and I was hoping to cross it a lot further if she was in agreement. Why not share my past with her? Maybe it will help her open up more with me. Like what happened to Mr. Davison. Divorced? Dead? Questions I wanted to ask. Hopefully, I wouldn't need to.

"My grandmother raised me and my brother. When I was only almost six, my mother...my mother...left. She never said goodbye or explained why she was leaving us." I find it difficult to talk about. I wonder what she would think of her son now. Vice President. I had no idea if she would ever know.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. That was a lot to deal with at such a young age," she said.

"It was. I remember thinking that something had happened to her and would sneak out of my grandmother's house and search the woods looking for her. One day my grandmother caught me and asked what I was doing. When I told her, she started crying. I asked her if my mother was dead. She told me no. That she left because she wanted to be able to live the life she wanted. Not the one that was forced on her," I said, as the pain of the past came rushing back.

"You mean...." she stated, then stopped.

I knew why. None of us wanted to talk about it, but the truth was, that hiding it only made things worse. That was how things had gone on for so long. Fear of addressing what was wrong with our country. Reesa thankfully put things in place so people could feel comfortable talking, even if only in small groups.

"Yes. My mother had been a victim back then. I don't know who my father is, and I don't ever want to. The man can rot in hell for all I care. Any person who would pay money to have sex by force with a young eighteen-year-old is pure evil. Hell, no woman, or person should ever have to experience such cruelty at any age." I knew my disgust was coming through clearly in my tone. There was no hiding it. "I might love my country, but there are parts of our past that have damaged so many of us. It's going to take generations for us to heal."

She gripped my hand more tightly. "We will. Together. And it is the leaders of this country that could speed up the process. Reesa has been doing so with her programs and counseling for victims and their families. You have been doing so by working with the youth. Education is such a powerful thing, and many take it for granted. But Orion, I'm sorry that your mother had to go through that. I am sure her leaving didn't have anything to do with you. Thirty plus years ago, women had to hold all their pain inside. For some, it became unbearable."

"I know that firsthand," I said, thinking back to Kody's sister.

"You mean with your mom leaving?" she asked. I shook my head and she prodded, "Did you want to talk about it?"

Never want to think about it, never mind talk about it.

"It's difficult," I admitted.

"Orion, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. Just know that I am always here for you."

"Is that your psychology training talking?" I questioned. I didn't want her to analyze me. I knew myself pretty well. Just some parts of my life I preferred not thinking about.

"No. This is strictly coming from my heart. I mean it. I'm here to listen just like I know you would do so for me," she replied.

"That I would." We pulled into my driveway, and I put the car in park, turned off the engine and just sat there for a moment. Not wanting to meet her eyes, I just stared forward, and said, "My best friend, Kody, had a sister who took her own life. He and I were around Joey's age and had been out playing. She was older than us and was supposed to be watching us while his parents ran a small fresh vegetable stand. We had gotten hungry and went inside to look for her. She wasn't answering. The bathroom door was locked and back then we had no way of reaching our parents. So, Kody and I banged until we broke the lock. When we finally got inside the bathroom, she was in the tub. Dead." An image I would never forget. And I have tried.

I heard her gasp and when I turned, Raya had covered her mouth with her hand.

"Oh, my goodness. That's...that's why you panicked when I didn't answer your calls. You thought that I...I..." She unbuckled and leaned over the center console and wrapped her arms around my neck. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for yelling at you when you were only trying to be there for me."

I felt her body shake and realized that she was crying. Damn! This wasn't why I had told her. The last thing I wanted was to upset her. Reaching around, I stroked her back and said, "Raya, it's okay. It was many years ago."

"It's not okay. You never should have gone through such things as a child. You should've been out playing ball with your friends and laughing and being a mischief'. Not...not carrying all this pain inside," she sobbed.

I just held her while she sobbed. Something told me that it wasn't just me she was crying for, but a pain from her past as well. Time seemed to have stood still while I held her close. I wished I could erase her pain, but I knew from my own experience that nothing I said was going to help.

When she loosened her grip on me and settled back in her seat, I asked, "Raya, like you said to me, you know you can talk to me about anything."

"I do. It's just that I never shared any of this with anyone," she said.

"Neither have I. You are the first person I've ever told. Even my brother doesn't know because he was so young when it happened. But honestly, I...I feel better having told you. I just wish it hadn't caused you pain by doing so," I stated, my heart still aching as I looked into her teary eyes.

"It wasn't you that did it. But I know you don't have all day to listen to me talk. You need to get back to work," she said.

"I am through for today. I am yours as long as you want me," I said. Hopefully, that will be for a very long time.

"If you're sure," she said. I nodded and she added, "Everyone thinks that I am an only child. My parents have said so all my life. But when I turned sixteen, I went over to one of my friend's houses. Her mother looked at me and said, ‘You look just like your sister did at that age'. I went home and asked my mother about it. Begged her to tell me about my sister. My mother was so angry and slapped me across the face and told me never to speak of her again. I never did. But I knew then that I had a sister. And somehow, she was gone. I hated the fact that her existence was wiped off the planet. And even now, I don't know why."

"Do you know her name?" I asked. She shook her head. I did the math in my head, and Raya's sister would've been older than me by about six years. I didn't know her. At least not that I recalled. My grandmother kept us close to home and limited us to who we hung out with. Kody was my only friend back then. Still one of my best friends now.

"I think not knowing is the hardest part. Have you ever thought about looking for her now? Trying to get the answers?" I asked.

"My parents and I don't really speak much. In fact, I've been in Tabiq for more than a week and they know that. I haven't heard from them, and I haven't wanted to reach out. I guess you could say that we're...not close. We never were. Now as I'm older, I understand why. When they looked at me, they thought of her. And the sight of me probably caused them pain. And the only way they knew how to deal with it was by not loving me," she said softly.

"Damn, our childhoods were fucked up, weren't they?" I stated, wishing that it was just a joke, but it was the truth for many of us. Her age group was the first to have just slipped by the worst of it all. If she was just a few years older, that would not have been the case. The women older than her, dreaded turning eighteen. Men also hated it, but for different reasons. They were given such hard choices. Either do the work that the cruel and corrupt government ordered, or beaten, tortured, and put in jail. Then you were used as their slave labor. Only men who their families owned a business, or a farm of some sort were exempt. That God my grandmother had a hid money away so that she could send us to college overseas. We were the lucky ones. The same must have been for Raya, because she was gone at eighteen too. Just didn't come back until twenty-nine.

She nodded. "Yet here we are. Both of us are strong despite it."

"And it appears we both took our pain and let it motivate us in a direction that allowed us to be there for others. Both working with children, being there when others are not," I stated, seeing yet another similarity with us. And something that drew me to her even more. It wasn't just physical beauty that she held, but her inner one is what captured my heart.

Until Raya, I'd never met anyone I couldn't picture my life without. Somehow, even in such a short time, she'd become so damn important to me.

"You're right. I...I feel better after telling you. It's like I don't have to carry the burden of a secret any longer," she said.

"And you don't have to worry. I will not tell anyone."

She smiled. "And your secret is safe with me too."

I knew that. If I hadn't, I'd never have opened up to her. "Has anyone ever told you that you're easy to talk to?"

"My friend Kathy says I'm a good listener. But there is a lot she tells me that I wish I didn't know."

I laughed. "That sounds just like my brother."

Her eyes widened and she said, "That's exactly what I thought on the way home. It's a good thing that you and I are good listeners because we don't get a chance to do much talking with them."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot about your ride to the resort last night. Sorry about that. I meant to drive you myself,' I tried apologizing, but knew it was too late.

"I was kind of glad that you didn't. I mean, I wanted to spend time with you, but we would've been rushed. The media would've been hunting you down with more questions, and that is where you needed to be. Not with me," she said.

"I just want you to know that given the choice, I would've picked with you."

She wrinkled her nose. "Not sure that is a compliment."

"Why?" I asked, puzzled.

"It was me or the annoying media? That's right up there with saying that it was me or hitting your thumb with a hammer," she chuckled.

I grinned. "Okay. How about this? It was you or a day on the beach with my favorite book on a beautiful day?"

"Add an iced coffee and you got it," she said.

"Iced coffee? What is that?" I asked. Coffee was something you drank strong and hot.

"Oh, it's something that I am missing so much. On hot days, one sip of a flavored ice coffee just picks you up. Maybe I can make you one sometime," she said.

"Cold coffee? I don't see the point," I admitted.

"You will. Trust me. I'll have you hooked. And you'll be begging me to make them for you every day."

If it meant seeing her each day, I'd drink it even if it was the worst thing in the world. "Not sure what ingredients you need to make it, but what do you say we go into the house, I show you around and then you can prepare the iced coffee for us?"

"Coffee. Cream. Sugar. Ice."

"Those I have. Now, are you ready to see if this place will work for you and Joey?" She nodded and I said, "Good, because getting your son here is my number one priority." Because it is yours.

She leaned over, kissed me briefly, and said, "Thank you."

I wanted to pull her into my arms and kiss her properly. Instead, I just smiled and got out of the car. I had meant what I had said. I couldn't allow my need for her to overshadow what was important. Joey.

Once inside, I showed her from one room to another. She didn't say much, and I couldn't tell if she liked it or not. When we stopped back in the kitchen I had to know.

"Tell me the truth. Don't hold back. Do you think Joey will be happy here?" I asked.

"Your home is well decorated for a man, but besides that, it is really lovely. I never thought you would have so much space being a single person. May I ask you something?"

"Of course," I replied.

"Why? Why did you buy such a large house when you're not married?" she asked.

That was a fair question. "At first, it was the location. Close enough to school, but not too close that I wouldn't have any privacy. But I guess if I was honest, it was because I had hoped to have a family someday. When you spoke about Joey and what you were looking for, I realized that is why I had picked this place. I wanted the same for my children. Unfortunately, I don't have any." Not that thirty-eight was old, but at a certain point, I might need to accept the fact I might never have any.

"That's a shame because I think you'd be an amazing father. I saw the way you were with all of the students, and I heard how you talked about my son. You have a lot of love to give," she said. "Maybe you should keep it in case you need it someday."

The only person I could imagine myself sharing it with was standing directly in front of me. It was way too soon to be thinking such thoughts, never mind uttering them to her.

"Until then, what do you think? Can you picture living here with Joey?" Could you picture me here with you both? That thought should scare me, but it didn't. Not as much as her leaving someday and returning to the States. That was one thing I couldn't do. Being here to help mold the youth and provide them with opportunities that they might not have otherwise was something I swore I would dedicate my life to. Leaving, except for a vacation, was never going to happen.

"Yes. I can see it. And I'd love to rent it from you. I think Joey will be happy here."

"And how about you?" I asked. "Will you be happy here?" That meant a lot to me because I knew she would sacrifice her own happiness for his.

She nodded. "Orion, it is perfect in every way. What more could I want?"

For me to be part of the deal.

"I guess it's settled. You have a place to stay. I will pack up my personal belongings and have them out by next weekend."

Her mouth gaped open. "No. Don't do that."

"You want me to stay?" I asked, thinking wishfully.

"That's not exactly what I meant either. I don't want you to rush. And there is no reason for you to take all of your personal things out of here, unless you wanted to that is. Joey and I aren't traveling with much. We have clothing and a few personal items, but that is all. Your things will not be in our way at all," she said.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes. And if there is anything that you need, or forgot, you can always come by for it. I mean I...I hope that we will still be seeing you," she stated.

I reached out and with an arm around her waist, I pulled her towards me. "Raya, seeing you is the brightest part of my day."

"Well, you will know where to find me. At work, or here," she smiled up at me.

"I prefer here because I can't do this in your office," I claimed her lips and kissed her tenderly. It would be so easy to lift her into my arms and carry her to my bedroom. I didn't think she would protest at all. But I needed to be sure where this was going. No way could I have sex with her and then decide we were better off just as friends. Not fair to either of us. Mostly, her. Reluctantly, I broke the connection and said, "Now, how about that iced coffee you were talking about."

"You know, I think I need one right now myself," she replied.

It was going to take something a lot stronger than caffeine to calm the fire in my veins. Iced coffee still sounded horrible, but what the hell, I didn't care how bad it tasted. I'd drink a hundred cups if it could help me forget how sweet her lips tasted for even one minute.

I heard my front door open, and Mayson's voice call out. "Hey, what are you doing home so early? How can I steal your dinner if you're here?" He came into the kitchen and his jaw dropped and a huge grin appeared on his face. "Guess you already have dinner plans. My bad."

"I was just showing her around," I said, forgetting that my arm was still around Raya's waist.

"So, I can see," he teased.

"It's not like that. She's going to be staying here."

Mayson raised his arms up high into the air and said, "Thank God. Finally, my brother found a woman who can appreciate how boring he is."

I let out a low growl and said, "She's staying here with her son. Not with me."

Mayson turned away from me and asked Raya, "Do you have a husband?" She shook her head and he smiled again. "Ah, then there is still hope." He waved his hand over his head as he turned and headed out of the kitchen. "You two may resume whatever fun I interrupted."

His laughter filled the house and could even be heard as he got back into his car.

Looking down at her I said, "I'm really very sorry about that. I will let him know not to stop in again. And, by the way, there is a key to the house. I never use it and no one else has one but me."

"That's okay. He didn't know and I'm sure he won't do it again," she said.

"We're talking about Mayson. Nothing surprises me," I said, reaching into my pocket and pulling out my keys. I took the house key off and handed it to her. "There is a spare one too that I have on the porch hidden in a pot. I'll get you that one on the way out."

"Why don't you hold on to it for a while? I mean all your stuff is here. You never know when you need it and if I'm at work it's just more convenient if you can get in yourself," she explained.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to feel...uncomfortable with that," I said honestly.

She smiled. "Orion, I feel many things when I think about you, but uncomfortable is not one of them. Trust me, I'm okay with you having a key. Mayson, not so much."

I laughed. "Funny. I never gave him one. I'm sure you can see why."

"Definitely." She leaned into me briefly, then pulled back. "Now, show me that coffee pot."

I let her slip from my arms and went to the cupboard. Keep the keys she said. Very promising indeed.