Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Iris

He’s incredible out there.

Watching Teddy sail the ball down the field, take tackles, run like the wind, find gaps in the defense, I can’t help but marvel. I’m in the family box with the wives of the coaches and various administrators. They have all been very kind to me, even if they did look a little puzzled when I arrived with four hulking security guards with guns. Most of the wives aren’t paying attention to the game. They’re most interesting in catching up with each other and talking about their children, so I sit alone, glued to the glass.

How is that machine down on the field the same man who holds me so tenderly? How is that the same man whose mouth makes love to mine slowly one second, becoming demanding in the next? He seems so far away. Like maybe everything that has taken place since I met him was a dream. He’s everyone’s fantasy, isn’t he? Maybe he’s mine. Maybe I imagined it all.

But no.

The chafing on my thighs tells me we’re real. The heavy ring sitting around my throat like a collar means the last week truly happened.

You will marry me, Iris.

Truer words were never spoken. I’m not sure I could make it a day without his arms around me. Without his skin warming mine. I’m in love. I’m so in love, it’s practically painful. I never could have imagined this deep, consuming brand of passion before now. But I’m letting it take me. I’m being sucked down into the inky darkness of obsession along with Teddy and it’s exhilarating. I can hear every breath I take, loud and echoing in my head. I have permanent goosebumps. My breasts feel exposed, even fully covered, because they’ve been so well loved. Sucked and squeezed and bitten. Even though I speak and nod at everyone who addresses me, I’m thinking of him. Getting back to him.

I blow out a shuddering breath, fogging up the glass in front of me. I am not going to let my schoolwork suffer, even though my relationship with Teddy is huge and overwhelming. I cannot fail to seize the opportunity I was given. There has to be something just for me. The way he has football, I have academics. I can’t allow anything to derail me from that.

That will be easier said than done, I’m guessing.

Down on the field, Teddy takes a hard tackle and I make a helpless sound, my shaking hand pressing to the glass until he stands up, jogs toward the huddle. Slowly, I let out the concrete breath in my lungs, my attention straying to the game clock. Five more minutes. We’re ahead by ten. Unless the other team really turns it on, another championship is in the bag. I’m so happy for Teddy. He needed this. He needed to know he could love football on his own, even though he shared the sport so closely with his father. I can’t wait to hold him later, tell him how proud I am of him for overcoming such a tragedy. For emerging better than ever.

A cheer goes up in the family box moments later, the wives exchanging a hug. Two of them even pull me into an embrace, making me laugh and blush.

And then they all begin clearing out of the room.

“Oh…” I catch up to one of the wives. “I was asked to wait here until Teddy comes to get me. Is that all right?”

“We have to clear out,” one of my security guards answers to my right. “It’s an insurance thing. The game ran late and there’s only coverage until ten pm.”

“Oh. Okay.”

The woman lays a hand on my arm. “Are you going to be all right, dear? Or would you like a ride home from one of us?”

Looking back toward the glass, I can see Teddy down on the field. His helmet is off now and he’s being interviewed, a microphone held in front of his face. His attention continually strays up to the box, but I don’t think he can see me, due to the glare of the lights. None of his teammates are being bombarded by reporters. They’ve all left the field. And my spine can’t help but straighten with pride. Of course they want to speak with him, he was amazing out there. Game MVP according to the giant screen above the stadium.

There’s a good chance Teddy will be busy for a while. However, instinctively I know he would probably lose his temper if I left without him. Or took a ride from someone without discussing it with him beforehand. Yes, that’s really controlling of him. His behavior is highhanded and sort of irrational—do I really need a security team?—but I won’t pretend I don’t like him caring for me, even in the craziest of ways. For so long, I barely existed. No one hugged me, let alone spoke to me. I was a shadow. He makes me feel like an entire planet.

“I’ll be fine,” I say to the coach’s wife, smiling. “Thank you for the offer, but Teddy asked me to wait for him.”

I retrieve my purse, tucking it under my arm, and I let the security team lead me down the buzzing hallway to a freight elevator. We take it down to field level and I suck in a surprised breath when the elevator doors open, revealing total pandemonium. Fans and players alike have uncorked bottles of champagne and they’re spraying it at each other. A big bucket of Gatorade is dumped on a man’s head. There are reporters and screaming students and flashes going off. It’s exciting. I’ve never witnessed something like this up close.

In a relative daze, I start to walk off the elevator, but one of the guards stays me with a hand on my elbow. “I think we should wait somewhere else.”

He’s probably right, but…this is my boyfriend’s world. Should I get used to it? I understand he’s protective of me, but I can’t always be sheltered in the background. “I would rather stay here, if that’s okay.”

The guards seem uneasy, so I step off the elevator before one of them stops me. Someone hands me a red solo cup of beer and I laugh, taking a sip. The crisp night air combined with the magic of victory is wonderful. Knowing I’ll be home with my boyfriend soon is equally incredible. I’m just about to take my first sip of beer when one of the players stops in front of me, his jersey soaked in champagne and sweat from the game.

“There she is. The unsung hero of this game.” He turns to the crowd of celebrating fans. “Hey everyone! This is the girl who tutored Xavier. She’s the reason he passed the test so he could play tonight. Give it up!”

I’m stunned when they cheer for me. Loudly. So loudly that I fall back a step.

“Mr. Xavier made it clear he didn’t want her speaking with anyone outside of the family box,” says the head of my security team.

“Ah, I’m one of his receivers,” says the player, waving him off. “That makes me family.” Ignoring the continued protests from my guard, the receiver smiles back down at me. There is something in his expression that makes my stomach feel hollow, but it’s probably just me. I’m still not used to speaking with strangers. “So are you going to continue tutoring Teddy?”

“If he needs it,” I say, cradling the solo cup to my chest. “But it…i-it might be a conflict of interest now—”

“Since you’re dating?”

His eyes are on the ring around my neck. When they travel lower to my breasts, I tamp down on the urge to squirm. “Yes. Since we’re dating.”

“Yeah,” he says slowly. “He scooped you right off the market before any of us poor assholes got a chance to shoot our shot.” His gaze meanders down to my thighs, lingering on my stockings. “Only the best for our superstar, right?”

The hint of bitterness in his tone keeps me silent. I don’t know how to respond.

He leans in, dropping his voice to a whisper. “But we both know it’s not real, don’t we?”

Pins and needles prickle my scalp. “What do you mean?”

“Teddy told us.” When I say nothing, he looks at me like I should know. Like we’re in on some secret together. “That he’s dating the smart girl for his image. So he’ll look good for the scouts. He needed something to convince them he’d settled down after all the delinquent shit he pulled. And here you are.” Surveying my body openly, he licks his lips. “Although I’m sure he’s having one hell of a time…pretending.”

I don’t realize I’ve dropped the red cup until beer splashes up onto my shins.

My stomach is in a puddle on the ground along with the drink, my ears ringing, eyes stinging with such intensity, I can barely see what’s around me.

No. No, it’s not true.

Is it?

Does Teddy want to marry me so soon because he’ll have an easier time being scouted? Was I naïve to think he just loved me so much he couldn’t wait?

“You know,” the player continues. “I’d appreciate you so much more than him.”

Those words bounce right off. Just noise. Through gritty eyes, I survey the crowd. I look at the girls who are obviously more suited to dating a famous quarterback. Confident, capable of talking to strangers without stuttering. Was I stupid to believe this relationship with Teddy was authentic? It seems real. More real than anything. But what do I know? I’ve never been in a relationship before in my life.

Humiliation turns my skin red. People are staring at me because I spilled my drink and I’m making no move to pick it up or clean myself off.

I have to get out of here.

I have to get away.

Turning on a heel, I dash for the tunnel leading to the perimeter of the field, taking my guards by surprise. The audience has cleared out by now, so there is no crowd to slow me down on my way to the parking lot. I dash through those lingering behind and despite the shouting of my name in the distance, I don’t stop running until I’m off campus, my heart shattered in my chest.

* * *

Teddy

By the time I get finished with the post-game interviews, I’m fucking frantic.

I can see from the field that the family box is empty. Lights out. The stands have cleared.

There is only one place where people are congregating—the home team sideline—and I swear to Christ, if the security team allowed Iris down here, I’m going to tear a hole in the sky. There is alcohol and groupies riding on the shoulders of my teammates. Even the coaches are acting like fools, singing and guzzling champagne straight from the bottle. When I arrive at the impromptu gathering, everyone goes wild, cheering, slapping me on the back and taking pictures of me with their phones. But I don’t give a shit about any of it. I’m glad we won the game. I’m relieved I lived up to expectations and I feel some closure with my father’s death, but the only person I want to celebrate with is Iris.

And there is no sign of my sweet girlfriend anywhere.

Don’t panic.

Don’t panic.

I arrived at the game too late to talk to my teammates. I need to explain to them how important Iris is to me. This is my chance. Iris is somewhere safe with the security team, so I can take two minutes to straighten out the story. Then I can stop having nightmares about her finding out. Just two minutes and I can go find her—

I stop dead in my tracks when the members of Iris’s security team appear on the fringes of the crowd. Without Iris.

The helmet slips from my fingers.

“Where is she?”I roar, my heart rocketing up into my mouth.

Silence lands around me like a shower of bricks.

Panic like I’ve never experienced slices into me like knives. I’m halfway toward the security guards before I realize I’ve moved. They back away from me, holding their palms out. I must appear deranged. Good. That’s exactly what I am. They weren’t supposed to leave her side. They weren’t even supposed to leave the family box. What the hell is going on?

“Answer me. Now,” I growl through my teeth. “Where is my girl? Where is she?”

One of them steps forward, visibly nervous. “She ran off, Mr. Xavier. We chased her, but she got a head start and it was too dark to see which direction she went.”

Ice forms on every inch of my body. Dizziness grips me. “Why would she…” My voice is weak. I barley have the power to form words. “Why would she run?”

Somehow I already know the answer.

I know what’s coming.

And all I can do is stand on the tracks and wait for the train to mow me down. Because I deserve this. I was careless and idiotic and now I’m going to pay with my life.

“I don’t want to get involved in your personal business,” mutters the guard. “But one of your teammates…I overheard him saying some things to her.”

“You weren’t supposed to allow anyone to talk to her!” I bellow, ripping off my jersey. My shoulder pads. I’m being suffocated. Oh God, she’s off somewhere alone. She’s run away, hurt. I’ve lost her. I’m going to die. I want to die.

“He might have hinted that your relationship with her isn’t…genuine.”

That’s the final blow.

I drop down to my knees, pitch forward and lose the contents of my stomach.

Sounds no longer penetrate my ears. The world is blurry around me. I squeeze my eyes closed and all I can see is Iris’s beautiful face. How she’d cry if she thought I’d been lying to her. Please, no. Please don’t let this be happening. A single one of her tears is agony. Unacceptable.

I have to go find her, but my legs aren’t working.

Pull it together.

She’s out there somewhere in the darkness.

She could be in danger.

It’s the fear of her being harmed that pulls me out of my delirium. Enough to stumble to my feet and whirl around. “Which one of you spoke to Iris?” I shout raggedly. “Who was it?”

Because yes, this situation is totally my fault.

But there is no doubt in my mind the information wasn’t passed on to Iris with good intentions. Someone wants what is mine. Rage boils over inside of me. Helpless fucking rage.

No one answers me, but I’m their quarterback. I’m their team captain. It’s my job to read their body language. So when one of my receivers ducks back into the shadows, I go after him like a bull chasing a matador. He makes it two steps before I’m on top of him, flipping him over and delivering a right cross to his petrified face. Blood sprays from his nose and he tries to swing back, but I evade him and throw another punch. Harder. Shouting obscenities through my teeth. Fully prepared to choke the life out of him.

“You did this, man,” he says, spitting blood into the grass. “All I did was tell her the truth.”

“Shut the fuck up,” I respond, my voice cracking.

He’s right. I don’t want to hear it, though.

Iris. Iris. Iris, I’m sorry.

“Think I’ve got a chance with her now?” taunts the receiver, lashing out in his embarrassment over having his ass handed to him in front of a crowd. “Tell me the truth. She’s all cute and innocent in the streets, but she rides it nasty in the sheets, doesn’t she?”

I knock him out cold.

There is no word for the mixture of terror and rage inside of me. I’m sick to my stomach. I’m scared she’s in danger. I’m destitute without her. I hate myself.

Teeming with the sharpest edges of these emotions, I turn and run for the locker room. I have to get the keys to my truck. I have to go find her. Now. Now. Right the hell now. I’ll explain everything and I’ll apologize until she forgives me. There is no other option. I can’t live without Iris. I don’t want to. People call my name, but I hear next to nothing, save the rapid pounding of my heart. A heart that will stop beating without her.

In nothing but football pants and cleats and pouring sweat, I peel out of the parking lot minutes later, racing home. Hurtling through the entrance and shouting her name. She’s not there, though. She’s not there. Only her addicting scent. Battling the crippling disappointment, I struggle to think for a minute, then drive my truck back to campus and search her old dorm room while her roommate babbles at me and takes selfies with me in the background.

Not here.

Where is she?

Where…

And then I know.

I know exactly where to find her.

My blood runs ice cold.