Chapter 13

13

Adison

If I look at one more formula, one more page of my handwritten notes, I swear my head will explode.

I check my phone. No texts from Rush and it’s still early.

I feel a little bad for dissing the party. I’m more than ready for my mid-term exams.

Is there such a thing as studying too much?

I close my textbook and set it aside along with my notebook. I ditch my sweatpants and T-shirt for some skinny jeans and a low-cut black shirt.

I open the door and head out into the cool evening. I walk to Will’s duplex. It’s a beautiful evening to be outside and his new place is easily within walking distance of my dorm.

I arrive at the duplex on Foster Avenue and a crowd of students are in lawn chairs on the driveway. Citronella candles burn and put a citrus aroma in the air along with a soft glow.

“Hey, Adison,” one of the partygoers greets.

I squint. “Oh hi.”

I don’t recognize the girl who greets me, which isn’t unusual these days. Since I’ve been with Rush, I’ve sort of become a part of him, so to speak. Everyone knows Rush, which means everyone knows me in a sense.

I make my way onto the front porch and peer through the window. The small living room is filled with people. I open the front door and step into the foyer as I scan the living room for any sign of Rush.

I suck in a breath. My vision blurs as blink back the tears building.

This can’t be. This cannot be happening.

My boyfriend makes his way through the living room carrying Evie in his arms. Her face pushed into his muscular chest.

What the hell?

I can’t speak. I can’t move. My body heats up, a fire lights in my gut and it radiates up to my throat.

He hits the stairway with Evie in his arms. He’s taking his ex-girlfriend upstairs while I stand in the foyer. I feel like an idiot–– only a pawn in some stupid game.

He’s obviously still seeing Evie behind my back. He’s never gotten over her. Maybe he’s been lying this whole time.

I can’t breathe. I turn around, scurry through the screen door, and make my way down Foster Avenue as tears stream down my face. When I’m far enough away from the party and know no one will hear me, I let out a sob.

Disappointed again. You’d think I’d learned my lesson with my father, all men are alike. Only looking out for themselves. My heart is like a piece of paper that’s been torn into a thousand pieces.

Rush has torn me into a thousand pieces.

I wanted to believe he was different. I wanted to believe he was the kind of guy I could depend on. He just declared his love for me, but this speaks volumes to me. Volumes. This is what I’m used to. I should’ve known this guy was no different than anyone else I’ve ever been with.

I run through the campus and make it to the door of my room in record time. I flop on my bed and the tears flow.

I can’t believe he’s still with Evie.

Another flood of tears covers my pillowcase. I grab a throw pillow and shove it against my face.

My mind plays the scenario over and over. I’m in his arms and he tells me he loves me. Now this. I risked my soul to John Rush Radcliffe, and he cut my heart out of my chest, stomped on it, and broke it into a million tiny pieces.

“I trusted you. I loved… love you.”

Now I need to figure out how I’m going to repair my demolished heart and forget that John Rush Radcliffe was ever in my life.

I take my bag from the trunk and the sweet aroma of this late fall day relaxes every muscle. The sound of the rustling leaves reminds me of home. My safe place. My mom is already waiting on the front porch.

“Welcome home, Addy,” Mom greets as she makes her way down the driveway to my car.

Mom looks me over and there are a few moments of exchanged hugs.

“You look good, but a little tired.” She holds me tighter in her embrace. “You feeling okay?”

All but my busted-up heart.

“Just a little tired,” I admit. “Thank goodness mid-terms are over.”

“I’ve been looking forward to having you home, my girl.” Mom’s smile warms me—inside and out.

We make our way into the house and I take a deep breath as the aroma of home takes over all my senses. This is the place I grew up. This is the place where my mom showed me unconditional love and support.

“Go take a little nap. I have your room all made up for you.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

I pad upstairs to my room. Last door on the left. I open the door, and everything looks about the same. Mom’s replaced my bedding with a beautiful beige duvet and matching pillows.

I’m exhausted from the short drive home, and I step into my ensuite bathroom to freshen up. I wash my hands and face. When I see my reflection in the mirror, my eyes appear a bit swollen.

I grab my purse and pull out my phone. I see I’ve missed a text from Rush.

I collapse on the bed and I let out a sigh as my head hits the soft pillow.

Rush : Hey, where are you? I stopped by your dorm. Anna said you must’ve left early. Your bag was gone.

I respond to his text.

Adison: I did leave early.

Rush: I stopped by to take you to breakfast.

Adison: Oh, I thought you’d go with Evie.

Rush: ?

Adison: I saw you with her at the party last night.

Rush: You were there?

Adison : Yes. Just as I got there, I saw you carrying her upstairs. To the bedroom I assume.

Rush: She was totally wasted. She literally collapsed in my arms, and I carried her upstairs to the den. Will and her friends worked with her to get her sobered up and I left. I wasn’t going to stick around for her drama. I’m not interested in her anymore.

Adison: She sure seems interested in you. Why didn’t you call me when you got home from the party?

Rush: I fell asleep watching TV and when I woke up, it was almost two. I’m only interested in YOU. I love YOU. I’m not with Evie anymore.

My stomach groans and twists. I set the phone aside and it buzzes a few more times with incoming texts. I ignore it and plop my head back on my pillows.

Mom taps on my bedroom door and cracks it open. “Are you napping in here?”

I sniffle. “No, just resting.”

Mom sits down on the bed next to me. “You feeling good? You’re not overdoing things at school, are you?”

“No, Mom. School is fine and I’m handling all my activities.”

“And you go to all your appointments like you should?”

I nod. “I do.” I grasp my mom’s hands in mine. “The doctor says I’m doing great, you know.”

“Is something on your mind?”

I smile softly. “It’s just a guy.”

Mom’s eyebrows raise. “A guy?” She squeezes my hands. “Let’s hear everything about him.”

Over an hour has passed when I get to the part where Rush is carrying his ex-girlfriend up the stairs.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Mom shakes her head. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.” Mom taps her chin with her index finger. “Is there any way there could be a reasonable explanation?”

I shake my head. “It seems like we’re always running into her, and she flirts with Rush.”

Mom pats my leg. “She sounds like trouble.”

I gaze at the ceiling as a fat tear rolls down my cheek. “He was kind and thoughtful.” I wipe the tears with the back of my hand. “And I love him and he’s still with his ex-girlfriend.”

“You know if I could make everything right for you, I would.”

I believe many moms would make everything right for their children if they could.

I smile. My mom is the sweetest. “I know.”

“Being home for this break will give us a chance to talk, catch up, and have some fun together, and it will also give you a chance to think about what you want. What do you want from your relationship with Rush?”

I sit up on my bed and put my pillow on my lap. “What was Dad like when you first knew him? How did you know he was the one you wanted to marry?”

Mom chuckles. She bites her bottom lip and her forehead wrinkles. “Well, we met in college. He was just starting his senior year and I was a junior. We were both studying business, as you know.”

Mom crawls across my legs, fluffs the pillows, and leans against the headboard— her posture matching mine.

“What was he like back then? Did he always drop the ball on everything like he does now?”

Mom taps her chin with her index finger. “I wouldn’t say your father grew up in a super wealthy home, but he never wanted for much. His parents absolutely doted on your dad and Uncle Ray. They were raised to believe they could do no wrong.”

I rub my fingers across the pillow I’m holding.

“They seemed to be a perfect family. It was ideal for Stan and Mary. Their sons did everything right— never any trouble in the family. Never any trouble with Dad or Ray. After we got married, we didn’t wait too long before we decided to start a family. I remember the day I told your dad I was pregnant with you. He was beyond thrilled.”

“Really?”

“Oh yes.” Mom nods. “When I was probably about three-fourths through the pregnancy, an ultra-sound revealed your heart issue. Once your dad learned it was a genetic issue, he had trouble with that. He couldn’t seem to wrap his head around it or come to terms with it.”

“Why?”

Mom shrugs. “I guess because his life had always been so perfect. He’d rarely experienced anything going wrong.”

Mom props her pillows up and gets comfortable again. “Your dad has always been what I describe as a free spirit. I was barely twenty years old and back then being a free spirit appealed to me. He was kind of a rebel, I guess. He did what he wanted when he wanted to do it.”

“But not very reliable?”

Mom chuckles. “Correct. Not very reliable. A lot of times he put his needs above mine and then after we were married and had you in our lives, his needs still came first. He worked when and how much he wanted and as the years went along, it only became more of a problem.”

“Why did you get a divorce?”

Mom shrugs. “A lot of different reasons. He claimed he was tired of being tied down and wanted to do his own thing.” Mom wraps her arms around me. “Even though he did his own thing and wasn’t there for you, he never missed one child support payment. I’m sure you would’ve rather had him at your activities.”

“Definitely.”

Mom’s hug becomes firm. “I need to get downstairs and get the supper started. Want to help? I’m still planning to do fried chicken— just like we always do. You in?”

“Of course.”

Mom always has a way of soothing me and after I spend a few days with her, I’m feeling more like my old self.

We spend the evening in our pajamas and reminisce about the good times when I was growing up.

The next morning, Mom treats me to breakfast at a café downtown and we spend the day browsing through the small shops in the Market Place area of town. The footpaths are made of cobblestone and food vendors line the area. We enjoy ice cream cones, buying jewelry at an antique store, and visiting over a cup of coffee.

For dinners, we order our favorites–– Chinese, Italian, pizza, and burgers. We watch movies, read books off our tablets, and go for long walks. Mom is searching for a second movie to watch when the doorbell rings.

Mom looks at the clock on the mantel. “It’s almost ten o’clock. Who’d be stopping by now?” She rises from the couch and makes her way to the front door.

“Should you be answering the door so late?”

“I’ll check who it is before I open it.”

She opens the main door and leaves the chain in place. I hear a man’s voice and she closes the door, unfastens the chain and I hear the footsteps on the wood floor of the foyer.

“Addy, there’s someone here to see you.”

I rise from the couch and pad to the front door.

Who’d be coming to see me?

My jaw hits the floor and I stand in awe. His leather coat hangs off his taunt body, his upper chest rigid.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to talk to you .”