Chapter 19

19

W ashing machines, Eben soon discovered, were far heavier than they had any right to be.

He found help carrying the first one up to the scullery, thanks to a kind Bautul — a former patient — who had taken pity on his plight. But the second one felt almost twice as heavy as the first, and by the time Eben reached the scullery, he was sweaty and staggering on his feet, and cursing himself for not thinking to have procured a cart.

“ Ach , Ka -esh!” Tryggr exclaimed, upon catching sight of Eben at the scullery door — and he instantly rushed over, snatching the washer from Eben’s twitching arms, and setting it onto one of the steel basins. “ Watch yourself, Ka -esh. Or call for help when you need it, ach?”

There was true alarm in his scent, studding deep into Eben’s belly, but this time it felt almost easy to smile back, despite the heat surging into his cheeks. “ Sorry , sir,” he replied, wincing even as it came out of his mouth — friends, friends — and he forced his gaze back up, away, toward the other scents in the room. And yes, here was Duff , and Gegnir , and Alma herself. Alma’s pretty face was flushed and eager, her scent bright with delighted happiness — suggesting, surely, that she was pleased with their work on the scullery. She also reeked of both Drafli and Baldr’s fresh scents, even stronger and deeper than before. Proving that they had indeed settled matters between them, and brought her home again, for good.

If she can keep it up, show Boss she’s worth his time, I ken he’ll come around.

“ And welcome back, Keeper ,” Eben shyly told her, as that familiar envious longing caught low in his belly. “ We are glad you are home again.”

Alma beamed back at him, while beside her, Tryggr loudly cleared his throat, and kicked at the new washbasin. “ Well , don’t keep her in suspense, Ka -esh,” he said flatly. “ Show her how it works, will you?”

Right . Eben’s face flushed even hotter, but he quickly nodded and bent over the basin. “ This is a washing machine,” he explained, as his trembling hand found the handle, and gave it a careful turn. “ We had heard of them being used in the north, and it is a simple concept, so we made our own, ach? You turn the handle, and the paddle beneath shall wash your clothes for you.”

He turned it again, demonstrating how the large paddle swung through the basin below. A sight that sparked genuine awe in Alma’s eyes and scent, so Eben waved her forward, and smiled as she gave it a tentative turn, too.

“ It’s brilliant,” she fervently said, with a bright, grateful smile over her shoulder toward him. “ And so well crafted, too. This will save us so much time. Thank you.”

Eben waved it away, but the envious longing had slightly faded again, sinking into a deep, genuine contentment. He’d been a friend. He’d done good work. He had.

“ Ach , I was happy to help,” he said, and he meant it. “ We all wish you to feel welcome, and stay.”

There was an instant’s tense, awkward silence, during which Alma blushed, and something dark and almost angry flashed through Tryggr’s scent. Something that felt depressingly familiar at this point, because Eben had scented it on him so many times before — and as he blinked at Tryggr’s frowning face, it distantly occurred to him that it had so often happened around… Alma . Except for that awful moment outside the Skai arena, perhaps, when Tryggr had scented just like this, and said, I know what you really want. I just… can’t. I’ve seen Pa and Pabbi go through it, my whole fucking life, and I’m not gonna…

A strange, sudden suspicion had begun flaring in Eben’s chest, while Tryggr’s stiff body shifted, his eyes narrow on Eben’s , his jaw flexing tight in his cheek. His breath drawing in, his shoulders pulling up, as if he was about to say…

“ Maybe you haven’t noticed, Ka -esh,” Tryggr said, his voice hard. “ But this woman’s spoken for. Permanently .”

Oh . Wait . Wait . Tryggr thought Eben was… what? That Eben was trying to… with Alma ?!

Eben blinked, stared at Tryggr’s grim, flinty eyes, tasted the bitter darkness in his scent — and suddenly it was as though time had frozen, halted, flashing wild shocked disbelief up Eben’s spine, while memories marched behind his eyes. Memories of every time he’d spoken about Alma to Tryggr , spoken to Alma around Tryggr — and how Eben’s own damned envy and longing had also been there, thick and choking in his scent. Telling Tryggr … I want this. I long for this. I long for… her.

Tryggr had scented Eben’s envy, and he’d thought it meant Eben wanted Alma . A woman .

And now Tryggr’s words — his distress — from outside the arena seemed to snap into a new light, too. I just can’t, he’d said, I’ve seen Pa and Pabbi go through it — just as Eben had witnessed it with so many orcs, too. Becoming attached to an orc who truly wanted a woman was a path straight to misery, and no wonder Tryggr hadn’t wanted that, Eben certainly didn’t want it either, but had — had Tryggr really thought that, all this time?

But yes, yes, that scent was still there on Tryggr , deepening by the breath — and now that Eben was breathing it, looking at it, it did scent so much like… envy. Like jealousy. Like the same hopeless, helpless longing he knew far, far too well.

And curse it, Alma and Duff and Gegnir were still all standing here watching, listening, and Eben had to try. Had to say something, something that wouldn’t insult Alma , something that wasn’t Of course I don’t want her, I barely noticed her, I want you, you, you…

But no, wait, maybe Eben was still wrong on this, too. Maybe he was still seeing what he wanted to see, from someone who he’d sworn to treat as a friend. And he needed to give Tryggr a way out, too, needed to offer a way for him to say no, to pretend none of this had ever happened — and curse it, what even had Tryggr said? Maybe you haven’t noticed, Ka -esh, but this woman’s spoken for. Permanently .

“ Ach , I — I ken,” Eben finally stammered, into the taut, waiting silence. “ She has gained the most fearsome Skai in our mountain as her lord. Through not her beauty or her strength, but through” — he drew in a shaky breath — “her hard work. Her kindness.”

And maybe it had still been foolish, or insulting, or betraying too much — but Eben trusted Tryggr , he did. They were still — friends. And that wasn’t confusion or mockery flashing through Tryggr’s eyes, lighting up his scent. No , no, it was…

Shock . Relief . Longing . And a slow, stunning smile, curling dark and delighted on his lips.

A smile that said, I see. I see you. I can show you the way.

“ Is that so, pretty Ka -esh?” Tryggr said, his voice far lower, huskier, as the dizzying scent of his hunger blazed raw and reckless through the air. “ You like the idea of catching a hungry Skai’s eye, do you?”

Oh . Oh . Eben’s breath escaped in a noiseless little whimper, his eyes wide and arrested on Tryggr’s face. And he could taste his own yearning, tangled up with that same envy and greed, as his prick swelled to instant hardness in his trousers. A sight Tryggr certainly hadn’t missed, his bright eyes darting downward, as his scent burned with gleeful satisfaction. With … triumph .

Eben only vaguely noticed Duff and Gegnir leaving the room, because Tryggr had already begun to prowl closer toward him, his steps slow and silent on the stone floor, his claws jutting sharp from his fingers. “ Then why don’t you bend over, little Ka -esh, and show us this again,” he said, kicking his boot at the washbasin. “ Give us a better look this time, ach?”

Oh , hell. He didn’t mean it, he didn’t, he couldn’t — but the command was ringing in his eyes, in his heated hungry scent. I see you. I can show you the way.

Bend over.

Eben’s body shuddered all over, the hope and hunger and longing choking raw and riotous into his scent. Tryggr couldn’t truly want this, this couldn’t be happening — but Tryggr was still here, watching him, waiting for his answer. And Eben trusted Tryggr , he trusted this Skai , I can show you the way…

So with a gulp and a shiver, Eben turned around, and obeyed.