6. Chris

SIX

CHRIS

Like we do every Wednesday, Jake and I have breakfast at our favorite off-the-Strip diner. The yellow Post It with Benny's number is burning a hole in my pocket, and I know it's something I'm not going to be able to keep from my brother.

He's an expert at letting people down gently, and I need his help—gentle is not really my strong suit. Hook-ups aren't something we ever discuss, but today I feel like I should make an exception.

Benny went to Lure looking for me , and some buried, very na?ve, and suddenly very loud part of my brain relishes the fact that he did that to give me his number. But I know we can't see each other again. I don't need it, and I'm pretty sure the poor guy would only end up more confused over his love life if we did.

"Okay, now you're freaking me out, Chris. What the hell is going on?" My brother's voice is full of that fierce protectiveness that's only there when he's afraid for me. I guess he noticed I'm more quiet than usual .

"Nothing's wrong," I say, trying to soothe his ruffled feathers. I lean back in the booth and run a hand through my hair. I'm not even sure how to start this conversation with Jake. Since we've never had a conversation like this one, I won't beat myself up for that.

The waitress comes over with our orders then. "Thank you, Paula." We say the words at the same time, and she smiles fondly at us.

"I'll bring you a refill." She gestures to our cups of coffee and walks away. We dig into our pancakes and I stay silent. Waiting for Paula to come back and then leave before I start the conversation is only common sense. If she gets even a whiff of a juicy conversation, she's gonna drag a chair over and demand I tell her everything.

So it's not until a few minutes later, my plate still half-full, that I put my fork down and lean back again.

"I hooked up with a guy on Saturday." I start the only way I can think of. Jake's eyes, the same dark brown as mine, look up sharply. Not with any trace of anger—which isn't out of the realm of possibility since he has to know I found this hook-up where I work, at the club we both own—but with barely concealed intrigue and a healthy dose of confusion. I roll my eyes at him and just get on with it. "A guy came by the club, and I watched him walk in. I don't know why, but something just drew me to him. He's hot as fuck, of course. Don't worry, I'll spare you the details," I say with a raised hand, when Jake's mouth curls up with the expected disgust—I'd never want details about his sex life either, and sadly I've gotten them from time to time—so I breathe deeply and relax.

This is my brother we're talking about. There's no one in the world I trust more. Actually there's no one else I trust, period. I can tell him anything. I can be totally honest with him. He'll make sure I don't get hurt, he'll protect me.

"We went to his place, fucked, and it was awesome, really. He kinda made a remark about round two before we'd even started, so I kinda settled in, you could say."

Jake's frowning now. He's clearly trying to figure out why I'm talking about this with him at all. I let out a put-out sigh and just come out with it.

"I cuddled with him," I clarify.

"Ah," he says and nods wisely. It grates on my nerves despite it being exactly the reaction I need from him. My brother knows me better than anyone, because he's the only one who really knows me, just like I'm the only one he can be truly himself with. It's the price we paid for the choices we made, and I don't think either one of us regrets any of those choices—at least not in hindsight. "So you're freaking out because you liked it?"

"No." I shake my head sharply, then. "Yes. Maybe." I cross my arms over my chest and shrug.

"Okay, explain it to me, step by step." I shoot him a look and he cringes. "Not that kind of step by step, Jesus. Just tell me what's going through your head."

"Fine." I sigh. "So we kind of cuddled and I didn't hate it. I was thinking about that, about not needing to get away from him right after, and then we talked about getting something to eat before round two. Everything's going great, it's not awkward at all, and then he tells me he's in love with his best friend. His straight best friend," I emphasize.

Jake only nods for me to go on.

"I'll spare you the details, but basically, his BFF got a new girlfriend, and he started reeling and went out drinking. Then he slept with me."

"And then he did it again?" Jake asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah."

"Did he seem reluctant at all?" Jake looks really concerned now.

"No." I shake my head decisively. "He was game, enjoyed himself too. A lot." I can't help but let a small smirk come out at the memory of just how much we enjoyed each other.

"Gross. Keep moving this along, Chris."

I snort. "The next morning I was feeling all kinds of awkward. Normally I wouldn't hesitate to leave without saying a word, but that felt cruel for some reason. In this case, I mean. So I stayed, he woke up, he showed me out. He was acting all cool and aloof, not saying anything about seeing each other again. Basically, my perfect scenario." Jake's the one snorting at me then.

"You and your ego."

"Well it's not my fault I'm so freaking amazing, bro."

"Yeah, yeah." He waves his hand carelessly at me and focuses back on his plate.

"So I'm about to leave, and then out of nowhere I just tell him to come by Lure any time, making it seem like I'll hook up with him again whenever he pleases." I open my eyes wide to convey how out of character that was, but Jake just tilts his head at me and keeps chewing. "Then on Tuesday, I get to the club and Drake tells me how the cute guy from Saturday left this for me." I dig into my pocket and pull out the folded yellow Post It .

Jake infuriates me when he only takes another huge bite, finishing his food, and leans back as he keeps chewing. His expression doesn't tell me what he's thinking, and that just makes my patience run out even faster.

"So?" I demand when I see him swallow.

"So, what? Text him and see where it goes." He shrugs both shoulders and stares at me like I'm an idiot.

"But I don't want it to go anywhere," I protest.

"Then what the hell do you want?" he asks, now as out of patience as me.

"I want you to help me let him down easy. I don't want to be mean and not text, but I also don't want to give him any expectations."

"Jesus fucking Christ." He groans and throws himself back in the booth. "You're such a dumbass."

"What? Why?" I demand.

"Because everyone is in charge of their own expectations. Whatever he expected when he left his number for you is his problem, not yours. You're clearly worked up about all of this. He's the first man you've ever picked up at the club, that has to mean something, so just text him." Jake looks at me like he's explaining what apples are.

I still don't understand why he's saying all of this, and I bet my expression tells him that, because now he really is out of patience.

"Just fucking text him. If you can't stop thinking about it, then do something about it. Jesus, the world won't end if you try to date, Chris. You're not going to lose your independence or whatever it is that scares you so much. Now, the fact that this guy is, or at least thinks he is in love with someone else could be a problem, but he did leave you his number, so fucking use it."

"Okay, damn, why are you shouting at me?"

"Because you're thinking about this way too much. Maybe he only wants your dick, or another body part of yours. Maybe he wants to be your friend and nothing more." A sharp pain of protest in my chest tells me that's definitely not an option. Not with Benny. "Maybe he wants to date, maybe he wants to marry you and have your babies—who the hell knows—but you won't know until you ask."

"Okay," I breathe the word out defensively. "Okay, I'll text him."

"Now. Text him now." He stares me down, and I know from personal experience he can keep up the staring contest for hours upon hours. So with another sigh, I take out my phone, save his number as the two letters he wrote next to it, and just text him.

Chris

Hey BB.

It's Chris.

I lock my phone and look back up at Jake who's got a smug fucking grin on.

"You were right," I concede, because yeah, I'm already calmer because I texted him. Whatever happens later, when—if he answers, will happen. An exhilarating rush of anticipation courses through me at the thought of seeing him again. Fucking him again.

"I'm always right," Jake says, bringing me back to the present where I'm having breakfast with my brother. His face is still smug—the asshole.

"Whatever," I scoff. "Now tell me about your week." Back to our regular topics.

I approach Roxy when I get to work later that day. It was way out of line for me to pick up Benny at the club in front of my employees, and now I need to deal with that. I wasn't ready the four previous days we saw each other, but today I am.

My head's clearer now that I texted Benny, so I can finally face the music.

There's really no excuse for it, even though I know for a fact some of the other bartenders, waiters, and even a few dancers have done that too after their shifts ended. It's different for me, I'm supposed to set an example, so I just want to apologize to them.

I don't want them to think it's forbidden or anything, that's not how Jake and I do things, but I do think an apology is in order, especially because I left them in the lurch.

They rose up to the challenge, though, and that's another thing I want to talk to them about.

"What's up, boss?" she asks with her friendly smile. It's different to the one she uses with customers, and I can tell it's a familiar kind of smile.

"Just wanted to check in," I say. I don't really know how to approach the subject.

"We're all good over here." She turns to put two new bottles on the shelves hanging from the mirrored back wall of the bar. It gives me time to take a deep breath and just... say it.

"Any chance you and Drake could take five and come to my office?" I ask in the least threatening voice I can manage.

She turns sharply to look at me, but her shoulders relax when she sees the affable smile I made sure to put on my face.

"Of course, let me just go look for him."

I nod and tap the bar two times with my knuckles for some stupid as fuck reason. I guess it's what people do.

It's barely noon, but I decided to come by early today for this conversation and to distract myself from my very silent phone.

Less than two minutes after I settle on my chair and wake up the computer, Roxy and Drake both peek in.

"Come in," I tell them and close the laptop. "Close the door, please." They look worried, so I try my best to smile at them. "Everything's fine, I promise. I really just want to talk. Please, sit," I ask when they just stand there awkwardly in front of the two chairs facing my desk.

I'd like to think I'm a pretty cool boss. Chill, easy enough to make laugh, and understanding. I do hope they will relax more around me after this conversation.

"First, I wanted to apologize for the way I left on Saturday. Leaving you in the lurch like that is never okay, especially in such an unprofessional way."

"Oh," Roxy says and Drake just frowns.

"It's fine," he says in a slow, measured voice.

"I wanted to apologize, in any case, and also tell you that it won't be happening again. For me. I hope you both know that I take no issue with our employees spending time here when they're not working, and that I don't care what you guys do on your own time as long as you're not hurting anyone."

"Yeah, you've made that very clear in the past. And since it wasn't necessary, apology absolutely accepted." Roxy looks over at Drake and he nods his agreement too.

"Good, thank you." I'm tempted to let out a big, relieved breath, but hold it in. "That being said, you both rose up to the challenge of keeping the club working on Saturday, and handled closing like pros. You did great, and I wanted both of you to know I appreciate it, and I see the effort you put in, okay?" I make eye contact with each of them in turn for a pointed second. "You've both been with us at Lure since the very start, and you know you're the only ones who I knew I had to have on the team even before we opened. You've made everyone else here better, and helped me more with training them than you will ever know. I just wanted you two to know none of that is going unnoticed."

"Thanks," Roxy says with a proud smile on her face. She and Drake are both sitting taller now.

"I'm glad I decided to have this talk with you guys today. It's about time I did, actually." This time, when they smile at me, I don't hesitate to smile back.

"Wanna go get some lunch downstairs, boss?" Drake suddenly says. "I've had a few thoughts that I'd like to share, if that's okay?"

The question takes me aback for a quick moment, but then I think, what the hell, we all have to eat, right? All of us being employees of the resort—only a technicality in my case—means we have access to most of the restaurants on the lower levels. And I'm definitely intrigued by what he wants to tell me.

"Sure." I stand and follow them to the elevator.

It surprises me when Drake starts talking about a waiter we hired only a month ago. "I think you need to know that Felicia is way too good to be a waitress." He looks up at the numbers above the elevator doors and speaks very casually.

"What do you mean?" I ask, paying even more attention now.

"She's doing the work of a hostess, basically, and Winter is stretched thin working the VIP section by herself." I think about our VIP hostess and consider the issue silently as we descend. I appreciate that they don't shift nervously or interrupt for the next few minutes while I get my thoughts together. They know me well enough to know I'm thinking about all the possibilities.

"You really think she's ready?" I ask once we're sitting down in one of the buffet restaurants of the resort.

"I do." Drake nods and takes a sip of his Coke. "We can work with Winter on training her, see how she does next Tuesday since it's always slow then." He shrugs and looks at Roxy who also nods.

"Absolutely. And you know we can hire another waitress to fill her spot in a finger snap."

"I do," I say with a nod, still considering. We've been very lucky that word's gotten around the service industry of Vegas about how we do things. I'm proud that our employees like working for us enough to brag about it to their friends. It's always a good sign when there's no shortage of people who want to work for you. "I need to talk it through with the manager of the resort and Jake, since it would mean a bump in her salary, but I don't think there'll be an issue, and I can have that conversation today even." I let out a big breath and focus on them when I see them sharing a small smile. "If you two have any other ideas, bring them to me, please. You see way more than I do out there."

"You got it boss," Roxy says, smiling at me again. "If this all works out, do you think it would be okay if I throw my girlfriend's CV in the mix for the new waitress position?"

I look at her, making sure my face is passive. "If you can assure me there won't be any issues because of your relationship, and she's a good worker, then of course not."

"Oh, no." She shakes her head with a laugh. "We've been together ten years, boss. Neither one of us is going anywhere." I'm relieved to hear that but still make sure it's not visible on my face.

"Then I look forward to meeting her. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm sure Felicia will work out great as a hostess, so just give me today to talk through the details with everyone and I'll let you talk it through with Winter and Felicia. You can both take point on this or just one of you. I trust you."

I receive blinding smiles in return. They do make me a little bit uncomfortable, though once again I do all I can to hide that from them.

I should've had this conversation with them sooner, I realize. Especially if I'm thinking about giving both of them promotions in the next six months. I'll have to think about what my next steps are once the club is mostly running itself and I only have to work on the backend of things .

Just like that, my mind goes back to Benny. He has a lot to think about too, and I just bet he's going to take it more seriously than I am. After all, I still have until the fall to ignore all of this. I won't be giving anyone a promotion until I know for sure the club is doing as well as we promised the resort it would.

Benny, on the other hand, has two weeks to think about the fact that he's probably not as in love with his best friend as he previously thought he was.

That's bound to be a difficult pill to swallow, especially for someone who so clearly has a chip on his shoulder about not being mature enough. Or probably, the chip has more to do with people babying him.

I can see that happening a lot. With his baby face, angelic curls, sweet smile, and calm but excitement-filled demeanor, I think it's probably only natural for his friends and family to want to take care of him.

Just as natural as him feeling held back, trapped.

I know what that feels like, and it's one of the reasons why I know the only person I need permanently in my life is my brother.

I'll be happy to have some more fun with Benny, but if he's not up for it, or if he never answers, I'll survive. He's not essential to me, and never will be.

I focus back on Roxy and Drake when I hear them discuss some gossip about everyone else in the club as we eat, and though the uncomfortable tugging on my skin doesn't go away completely, I don't feel it so keenly by the time we're once more inside the elevator, riding to the club.

I betray myself and check my phone again when I step back into my office. No texts from Benny, and there is still only silence when five o'clock rolls around and customers start to arrive.

I tell myself to let it go as I make final checks with the staff, as I say hi to the bouncers. This is why I don't trust anyone but my brother, I think, and I remember what Jake told me earlier today about expectations.

Well, it's my mistake for expecting Benny to answer when he left me his number.