Chapter 35

You're already a part of me

I've never been one to wake up early.

I love my sleep.

But I'd gladly stay awake forever just to watch her .

She's so damn beautiful.

A smile spreads across my face as I admire Gabi sleeping peacefully on her side, her arms propped up under her head, and her lips parted.

My eyes drift down to her naked body, the thin white sheet covering only her lower half. I can't help but smile, my hand instinctively covering my mouth.

We've been officially together for a few weeks now, but sometimes I still can't believe she's here with me. After all those years, I can't believe she's finally mine.

I still remember the feeling of sleeping in the same bed as her, with her head on my chest, my arms around her, wishing I could kiss her. I loved cuddling her, but it was hard to act like my feelings towards her were purely friendly.

I felt so guilty for being attracted to my best friend when she didn't feel the same way. I'm not sure when her feelings changed, but I know she didn't feel that way in the first few years of our friendship.

Still, I waited. I waited patiently, even though there was a good chance she might never feel the same. And I was okay with that, honestly. I wanted Gabi in my life however I could have her, even if it meant just being friends.

She's always been my best friend, and that will never change. But now...I get to kiss her whenever I want.

Moving closer to her, I lean down and press my lips against her cheek. Gabi lets out a cute little sound that makes me chuckle. I plant another kiss, this time on the corner of her mouth, and then one more on her lips.

Gabi groans, opening one eye to peer at me. "I want to sleep," she whines, her words slurred as she slowly wakes up.

I press my lips together to stifle a smile, brushing her hair out of her face. "Sorry, baby," I whisper, leaning down to plant one final kiss on her forehead. "Go back to sleep."

She lets out a sigh, rolling onto her back. "It's too late now. I want more kisses."

I chuckle and wrap my arm around her waist, pulling her closer to me. Leaning down, I brush our lips together once more.

"Morning breath," she murmurs against my lips, attempting to pull back, but I hold her face, continuing to kiss her.

"I don't care," I say, diving back in to kiss her again. "I'll always kiss you."

A soft moan escapes her, and I savor the sound. "Really?" she asks, teasingly tugging at my lip with her teeth before soothing it with a lick of her tongue.

It drives me wild when she does that. "Yeah, pretty girl."

She smirks, her hand tangling in my hair. "What if I was covered in chocolate?"

I chuckle and play along, dragging my tongue over her cheek. "You'd taste so sweet." I move my lips back to hers, and she responds by pushing me onto the mattress, straddling me.

God, yes.

I love when she takes control.

Her lips leave mine when she starts kissing my jaw, dragging it down my stomach. She presses her lips against the lower part of my stomach, and my cock twitches, knowing it's going to have Gabi's soft, warm mouth around it soon.

But before she can do just that, my phone rings.

I groan in frustration, squeezing my eyes closed. "Just keep going," I plead, wanting her mouth more than anything in the fucking world.

"Are you sure?" she asks, glancing up at me. My head goes dizzy at the sight of Gabi kneeled between my legs, and her mouth an inch away from my cock.

"Yes." I swallow, hard. "I literally couldn't give a fuck about anything else right now."

Gabi chuckles, and when the phone finally stops ringing, she flips her hair over one shoulder, gripping my cock in her hand.

"Mmffuck yes," I grunt, thrusting into her fist.

"You're so needy this morning," Gabi muses, dragging her soft, wet tongue over the length of my cock.

A moan builds in my throat. "I'm always needy when it comes to you."

She glances up at me with a smile on her face, but it fades when my phone rings again.

"God damn it," I groan, irritated. I run a hand down my face as the loud ringing fills the room. With a sigh, I reach for the nightstand and grab my phone, wondering who's calling. My expression falls when I see the name on the screen.

Gabi climbs up my body, resting her arms on my chest and propping her head on them. "Who is it?" she asks.

I swallow hard, glancing at Gabi as the phone keeps ringing. With a heavy sigh, I turn my phone to show her the screen. Her eyebrows furrow in concern, but then her eyes widen when she reads ‘South Carolina County Jail'.

"Your dad?" she guesses.

I nod, running a hand down my face. The air between us turns cold, and every good, happy feeling I had evaporates into thin air.

"How long has it been since you talked to him?" Gabi asks.

I shake my head, staring at the screen again. "Not since the day I left."

She nods, her lips pursed. "Is there a part of you that wants to go see him?" she asks. "I could go with you and—"

"Fuck no," I cut in sharply, shivering at the mere thought. I cup her face in my hands, letting out a heavy sigh. "I tried so hard to shield that part of my life from you, Gabi." Her brow furrows, but I continue. "Remember when you asked why we never went to my house?" I remind her. "It's because I didn't want you anywhere near him. I didn't want him to see how much you meant to me, how much I loved you." I shake my head in frustration. "And I'm definitely not bringing you around him now. I don't...I don't want you to see the person I become when he's near," I admit, my voice catching. "Weak and fucking broken."

Gabi lifts herself up, cradling my face in her hands. "You are not weak or broken, Chris," she says firmly with a frown. "I hate that he made you feel that way when to me, you were the beacon of light I was always searching for." Her words bring tears to my eyes. "You were the one person I could always count on."

I manage a small, sad smile because...fuck. That's all I ever wanted to be for her. "You were the only thing that made me want to get up in the mornings," I admit, my throat tightening as my nose starts to tingle. "You were the reason I survived in that house for as long as I did."

Her eyes begin to well up, and she shakes her head. "I just wish you told me," she says, her voice cracking. "I wish you didn't have to go through it alone."

"I know," I sigh, brushing my thumb over her soft cheek. "But I didn't want you to see me differently," I tell her. "I didn't want your pity or sympathy, especially when you had your own issues with your dad." Her eyes soften. "I just wanted to be a safe place for you, Gabi."

I glance down at her arm, running my thumb over the old, faded white scars on her wrist. My throat tightens, and I try to swallow past the lump forming there. I vividly remember the day they were bright red, blood dripping all over the floor. It's a memory that will forever haunt me.

"And I failed at that," I whisper, tracing her scars with my fingers.

She takes my hand, wrapping it around her wrist, and I lift my head, meeting her eyes, as she shakes her head. "Don't you dare blame yourself for that. You didn't fail me. You saved me," she says, her voice breaking into a sob. "I was a mess, my head was a mess, and I felt like I was drowning." She pauses, shaking her head again. "But you...You were my lifeboat. You were the reason I made it through. You were the reason I wanted to keep going."

"Gabi..."

"You didn't fail me, Chris," she repeats, kissing my lips. "You've never failed me."

I breathe out a sigh against her lips and return her kiss, pulling her closer by wrapping my arms around her waist. I always want her near me, close to me. Fucking attached to me.

Pulling back slightly, I brush her brown hair behind her ear. "I love you."

Her pink lips curve into a smile that takes my breath away. "I love you too," she says, her blue eyes sparkling.

I glance down at my phone, which is no longer ringing, and swallow hard. "I don't want to see him ever again," I admit, to myself and to Gabi. Part of me held onto that call, thinking I still wanted him in my life. Part of me still wants to be his son, to be loved by him.

But he had eighteen years to love me, and he never showed any sign of it. I don't want him in my life. I don't need him in my life. All I need is my mom and this girl right here in my arms.

Gabi nods, running her hand through my hair. "That's completely understandable," she says. "Dads suck."

I chuckle, knowing both our dads are assholes. "So fucking much."

She smirks and locks eyes with me. "Hey, Chris?"

I sigh at the feel of her hands running through my hair. "Yeah, pretty girl?"

"Truth or dare?"

"You're insane," I breathe out a laugh when I finally see what my dare is.

My girl smiles brightly up at me. "I'm fun," she corrects.

I shake my head, letting out a laugh. "I'm pretty sure those words are synonymous when it comes to you."

"Is that a no?" she challenges, arching a brow. "Because if I remember correctly, you don't back down from a dare."

I take a deep breath, running a hand through my hair as I glance back at the tattoo shop. "You really want to do this?" I ask her.

She nods, squeezing my hand. "You're part of me already. So why not prove it?"

Turning towards her, I hold her face in my hands. "I don't need a tattoo to prove that," I tell her. I swear every breath I take is proof of the way I love her. I live and breathe to love her .

"I know," she replies, sighing as she leans into my touch. "But I want to look at it when you—" She pauses, pursing her lips and glancing up at me warily.

My brows bunch when I figure out what she's saying. "When I leave," I finish for her, the reality sinking in. Because whether I like it or not, I'm going back in less than a week.

Just one week left with the love of my life.

My best friend.

I just fucking got her. I don't want to leave her again. I don't want to be miles apart from her again, only hearing her voice through a phone. I want to see her every day, touch her, kiss her, wake up with her.

I squeeze my eyes closed, dropping my hand from her face.

Gabi's soft palm traces my face, making me look back at her. "It's not just that," she says with a hint of sadness. "I thought it would be nice to cover my scars with something pretty." My heart starts to beat again. "So every time I look down, I won't see the worst moments of my life," she continues, her eyes locking onto mine. "I'll just see you."

Fuck .

How can I say no to that? I can't. That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard, and if I can help her move on from the darkest time in her life, then I'll do it.

I'll do anything for her.

"Let's go," I say, tugging on her hand.

"Wait, really?" she asks, her face lighting up as I guide her across the street towards the tattoo parlor.

"Yeah, Gabi," I reply with a grin. We stop right outside the tattoo parlor, and I look down at her. "You know I'd do anything for you. Even if it means sticking a thousand needles in my skin."

Her gorgeous blue eyes roll playfully. "You make it sound so dramatic."

I furrow my brows at her. "That's literally what a tattoo is, Gabi."

She lifts her shoulder in a shrug. "My piercings didn't hurt."

I groan at the thought of them, then playfully tug on her hand, pulling her closer so she stumbles into me. I wrap my arm around her waist. "They're the sexiest things I've ever seen," I murmur against her lips.

She smiles and blinks, pulling back slightly. "See? Sometimes a little pain is worth it. Besides, imagine having me on your body."

I tilt my head back, laughter escaping my lips. "Are you planning to put your face on my arm, pretty girl?"

"No," she replies with a smirk. "Something better."

"What?" I ask, feeling a little nervous.

She shakes her head, pursing her lips. "You'll have to wait and see."

"I thought we were getting matching tattoos."

"We are," she confirms.

My frown deepens. "Then what is it?"

She leans up on her tiptoes, planting a quick kiss on my lips. "Do you trust me?"

I breathe out against her lips, tightening my hold on her waist. "You're the only person on this whole damn planet that I trust with my life."

Her smile falters slightly. "That's scary," she says. "You trust me that much?"

"So much," I affirm with a nod.

"What if I mess up in the future?" she asks, her brows furrowing.

"You won't," I say with a shake of my head. "You couldn't." I lift my hand, cupping her face, and brush my lips against hers. "I've been in love with you before I even knew what love was. There's nothing in this world you could do that would make me stop loving you," I reassure her, locking eyes with her beautiful blue ones.

"Even if I make you get a tattoo?" she teases, raising an eyebrow.

An amused smirk crosses my lips, but I nod. "Yes."

She tilts her head, considering. "Would you lie on a train track for me?"

I chuckle at her question. She really doesn't know the lengths I'd go for her. "Name the time and place."

Her eyes widen. "Kill someone for me?"

I hesitate, then shrug. "I've never been the best at fighting, but for you, I'd try."

Her lips part, brows knitting together. "Rob a bank?"

I laugh, running my thumb over her cheek. "We'd be filthy rich," I say, my heart pounding as I look at her. "There's nothing, Gabi," I repeat. "Nothing that would make me stop loving you. Nothing I wouldn't do for you."

She lets out a shaky breath and shakes her head. "You don't have to do this," she insists. "They say couple tattoos are bad luck. You can back out—"

"No fucking way," I interrupt. "I'm not scared of bad luck. You want this tattoo, so we're getting this tattoo," I tell her, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Are you ready to go in?"

She nods, a smile spreading across her lips, and we enter the shop together.

Twenty minutes later, and I'm dying.

This shit hurts like hell.

"Oh fuck," Gabi grunts, squeezing my hand tightly. "This hurts way more than the piercings did." She glances at me, biting down on her bottom lip to stifle a scream, her eyes squeezed shut in pain.

Yeah, my girl talked a big talk outside, but now she's clinging onto me while we both endure this pain.

"You still don't hate me?" she asks, her eyes searching mine.

I let out a laugh through the pain, focusing on my beautiful girlfriend. "I love you."

She winces, a pained whimper escaping her. "How the hell can you laugh at a time like this?" she says, gripping my hand tightly as the tattoo artist works on her arm.

I shrug, unable to tear my eyes away from her. Partly because I can't get enough of looking at her, and partly because if I glance down and see the needle in my own arm, I might pass out. "Because I'm with you," I reply.

The buzzing of the needle stops, and I raise my head to see my tattoo artist step back. "All done."

"You too," the girl tattooing Gabi says, wiping a towel on her arm.

I glance at Gabi, and she lets out a deep breath. "You ready to see it?"

I tighten my grip on her hand and bring it towards me, pressing my lips against her knuckles. "I'll love whatever you chose," I reassure her.

She sighs and smiles, looking down at her tattoo on the inside of her arm. I follow her gaze and look down at mine, in the same spot.

My brows furrow as I take in the thin strokes of black ink. There's a small clef surrounded by delicate lines resembling stars. I gulp at the sight, feeling my eyes start to tear up.

"Music has always been a huge part of us," Gabi says, prompting me to lift my head to look at her. "And...the stars say we're meant to be."

Fuck.

I rise from the chair, my heart racing as I reach for her face, cradling it in my hands before I lean in, and press my lips against hers, because I'll die if I don't. Her lips part on a gasp and I groan, savoring her taste. Savoring the softness of her mouth against mine as our tongues brush together in a kiss that shows her how much I love her.

"Does that mean you like it?" she manages to ask between breaths.

I shake my head slightly, pulling back just enough to meet her eyes, then grasp her arm, pressing my lips against her new tattoo, just above her scars. "I love it."

Her eyes widen with hope, a beautiful smile spreading across her face. "Really?"

"So fucking much."

Her face brightens with another smile, and she lets out a sigh. "It was the best goodbye present I could think of."

My smile fades into a frown. "This isn't goodbye, Gabi," I insist. It just can't be. I won't allow it.

She sighs again, nodding. "I know."

I'm not buying it. Not at all. I cradle her face in my hands, locking eyes with her deep blue gaze. "I mean it, Gabi. I'll be back," I promise. "We can visit each other. This isn't goodbye," I say firmly, feeling my heart ache at the thought.

She nods, tears pooling in her eyes, which breaks my heart all over again. "It's just one year," she says, her voice quivering.

"Exactly." I wipe the tears from her cheeks. "I waited ten years for you," I remind her with a soft smile. "I can handle one more. I'd wait forever if I needed to."

She lets out a deep breath, her tears drying up. "I just don't want to let you go after I finally got you."

Jesus. Her words break me. I shake my head, pressing my forehead against hers. "Please don't let me go," I whisper, planting a kiss on her forehead. "I don't want you to ever let me go."

"I can't," she murmurs, wrapping her arms around my waist. "I couldn't even if I tried. You're a part of me, Chris. Always have been."

I wipe under her eyes with the pads of my thumbs, and smile at her. "Now more than ever," I say, holding up my arm with our matching tattoo.

She breathes out a laugh. "I love you."

I'll never get tired of hearing her say that. I waited so long to hear her say those words. Every time she says them, it feels like a dream come true.

"I love you too, pretty girl."