Chapter 21

You can always cuddle me

"You're late," my sister says as we walk into the hotel lobby, her eyes narrowing.

"I'm a day early," I reply with a shrug. "That's a win in my book."

She lets out a sigh, shaking her head. "You were supposed to be here hours ago," she mutters, glancing out the window. "The sun is setting for crying out loud."

"Sorry," Chris says, trailing behind me with our suitcases. "That was my fault." He stops beside me, giving me a sheepish glance. "I, uh, told Gabi we should stop for a while since it was raining, and we were pretty tired."

And then I went ahead and nearly fucked everything up. Like always.

My sister grins so wide, I'm almost jealous. "Christopher Hudson," she says warmly.

"Yep," Chris says, letting out a nervous laugh as he brushes his hair back. The rain has left it even messier and curlier, and I'm losing my goddamn mind. "It's me."

"Wow." My sister shakes her head in amazement. "Look at you. You're a man now."

Chris laughs. "I always was."

She shakes her head again, humming thoughtfully. "You were just a little boy when I knew you, but now… I'm so glad you're back." She opens her arms and engulfs Chris in a hug.

"Me too," he murmurs, pulling back. "I haven't been home in a long time."

My brows furrow. He hasn't? What about his mom?

My sister smiles as she glances between me and Chris. "I can't believe you two are finally dating." My eyes widen, but she continues, "I always knew there was something between you two."

My face blanches. "What?" My voice squeaks, so I clear my throat. "No. We're—"

"We're not together," Chris finishes calmly, stepping in to clarify.

"Oh." My sister's brows drop. "I'm sorry. My bad." She looks at me for clarification, and shakes her head. "I just thought… when I called you, you said you were with Chris."

"Yeah. As in he was in the same room," I clarify.

"And you're…" She looks between us, confused. "Living together?"

"Yeah, I uh, I came back for the summer," Chris explains, his jaw tensing slightly. "Gabi wanted me here at the wedding, and I couldn't say no. And I didn't have anywhere to stay so—"

"I invited him to stay with me," I interject. "I had an empty apartment, so it made sense."

My sister nods, pursing her lips. "Well, this makes the situation a little tricky," she says. "Since you RSVP'd with no plus one and decided to bring Chris at the last minute." She glances at Chris, a smile creeping onto her face. "Which I'm so happy about. I assumed you guys were together, and… well, there aren't any rooms available for this weekend."

"Oh." I flick my gaze toward Chris, meeting his brown eyes. We're sharing a room.

A bed.

"I can try to figure something out," my sister says, placing the back of her hand to her forehead. "Maybe you can stay with me and Rachel," my sister suggests.

I screw my face up, shaking my head. "Hell no. I'm not staying in the same room as you guys on the night before your wedding." A shiver runs through my body at the thought. "It's fine," I assure her. "Besides, we've shared a bed many times before, it won't be weird," I say with a shrug, meeting Chris' eyes. "Right?"

His face softens into a small smile as he nods. "Right."

"Great," my sister says with a sigh of relief. "This saves me a whole lot of hassle. I already have so many things going wrong that need fixing, and I—"

"Breathe," I tell her. "Where's Rachel?"

She sighs. "I told her to go to the spa."

"Then go join her," I suggest. "Just relax. This is supposed to be your special day."

My sister scoffs. "That's tomorrow. Today is for stressing." She hands me the key and looks back at Chris. "You're sure you guys will be okay?" she asks again, her brows knitting together.

"Yep," I flash her a smile, turning around to face Chris. "Let's go then, roomie," I say playfully, curling my arm around his as we head toward the stairs.

He looks down at me with a grin. "You do realize I'm already your roommate, right?"

I nod. "But now we're actually sharing a room, and a bed." My brows furrow slightly. "You're okay with this, right?"

Chris nods and flashes me a reassuring smile. "Of course. We've shared a bed before, Gabi. It's nothing new."

He's right. It's nothing new. But I don't know where we stand after last night. He was quiet when we woke up, and has been ever since. I don't know what to make of it. I want to know what he's thinking.

I feel like such an idiot for practically throwing myself at him last night when I know he doesn't want me. No matter what I thought I saw in his eyes last night.

"Don't worry," I assure him. "I'll make a pillow wall so that I don't maul you."

He chuckles. "Maul me?"

"I love to cuddle," I say, smiling up at him. "You know that."

He nods, pressing the elevator button. "Yeah, I know." The doors open, and we step inside. "No pillow wall needed," he says once the doors close, smirking down at me. "You can cuddle me all you want."

My heart pounds in my chest. "Really?" Hope fills my voice, relieved that nothing has changed between us despite how stupid I was last night.

"Yeah," he says with a smile that melts my insides. It should be illegal for someone to be this beautiful. "I love your cuddles."

The elevator door opens with a ding, and I grin as we walk into the hallway. "This is going to be so much fun."

Chris's chest shakes as he lets out a laugh. "I love how you always find a silver lining in everything."

"I'm happy," I admit with a shrug. He makes me happy . "I know you have to leave in less than three weeks, but I'm really enjoying spending time with you until then."

I meet his gaze, and he swallows. "Me too, Gabi."

I rip my gaze away from him, open the door, and stride inside. "I get the left side," I tell him, flopping down onto the bed, feeling the softness of the king mattress beneath me as I stretch out my arms above my head.

"Why?" Chris asks, following me into the room, an amused look on his face.

I lift onto my elbows, grinning at him. "Because I called dibs."

He chuckles, running a hand through his hair. "What if I wanted the left side?"

I raise an eyebrow. "Do you?" I'd gladly give it to him.

"No," he confirms with a smile. "It's all yours."

"Great." I jump out of bed, grabbing my suitcase and unzipping it. Packing it was a bitch, so I won't be unpacking everything, but I do need to get my dress out for tomorrow. My eyes lock on the long lilac dress, and I run my hands over the silk fabric.

"Is that what you're wearing tomorrow?" Chris asks from behind me.

"Yeah." I glance at him briefly. "I asked Rosie to design it for me a few months ago. She's got more talent in her left thumb than I do in my whole body, but my sister chose the color, of course."

"It's beautiful," he says.

I nod, agreeing. "It's almost too beautiful for me," I chuckle.

"Nothing's too beautiful for you." His voice is husky, sending a shiver up my spine. I turn to look at him over my shoulder, and our eyes meet.

Thoughts of last night flood into my mind. Seeing his bare chest for the first time, my hand trailing over each muscle as I explored his body. I don't know if it was because he had been drinking that he let me touch him, or if it was because of the dare. But I touched him in a way a best friend shouldn't.

And I want to do it again.

I want to touch him all over, lean into him, and taste his lips. I want to experience everything I've kept buried inside me all these years.

But I can't.

I inhale sharply and draw back, looking up at him. But his eyes aren't on mine, and his cheeks are tinged with a deep shade of red.

"What's wr—" I follow his gaze, confused, until I look down and see my open suitcase, noticing my dark purple vibrator sitting on top. "Oh."

I clear my throat, turning his attention away from the suitcase as he looks at me, his face red with embarrassment. "I'm sorry," he murmurs, running a hand through his hair. "I didn't mean to look… It was just right there ."

"It's fine," I say with a laugh, quickly burying the vibrator beneath my clothes. "I'm not embarrassed about it."

Chris shakes his head, his face still red. "No. Of course not. You shouldn't be. It's… perfectly normal."

My lips twitch. "Right."

"Were you…" He rakes a hand through his hair, licking his lips nervously. "Were you going to use it? Here?"

"Not anymore," I say with a laugh, gesturing to the bed we have to share.

"Right." His eyes dart to the bed, and I watch him swallow hard, muttering a curse under his breath before turning around. "It's fucking hot in here."

"Really?" My brows furrow. "I'm actually quite cold."

He glances at me and nods. "Must just be me then," he says with a nervous laugh as he peels off his hoodie.

My eyes follow his movements, a desire stirring within me to see him remove his t-shirt as well. I want to see all of him again. He's so incredibly handsome. I've always found him attractive, but my feelings didn't evolve into something more until my senior year of high school. Since then, it's undeniable how deeply he affects me.

"You want to go out tonight?" Chris asks, placing his suitcase under the bed.

I glance out the window, noticing the sky is still pretty light, but I shake my head, kicking off my shoes. "I'm kind of tired," I tell him, putting my suitcase away. "Can we stay in tonight?"

"Of course." He flashes me a warm smile. Chris pulls down the covers, and we climb into bed together.

My pulse races as I look up at him. It's definitely not the first time we've slept in the same bed, and it won't be the last. So why the hell am I freaking out?

My throat moves as I gulp and blink up at him. "Are you sure you don't want that pillow wall?" I ask him again.

He chuckles, shakes his head and sighs. "God fucking help me, but no, I don't."

My heart pounds in my chest. "So I can cuddle you?" I fist the sheets beside me, wanting to nestle into him.

"Yeah, Gabi," he says, turning on his side to make room for me. "You can always cuddle me."

I don't waste any time, scooting closer until he wraps his arms around me, pulling me close. I close my eyes and tuck my head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. My stomach somersaults when Chris leans down and presses his lips to my forehead so softly that I nearly melt into him.

I feel so safe with him. I always have. Even when I didn't feel safe in my own head, he was always there to pull me out of the darkness.

I love you.

My throat tightens as I swallow the words, squeezing my eyes shut, trying to drift off to sleep, never wanting to leave his arms.

"Shit," I hear him whisper, prompting me to open my eyes and look up at him. "I forgot to put on music."

I blink. I can't believe I forgot, too. I can't remember the last time I've fallen asleep without music, or some sort of noise, but I was so caught up in how it felt to be in his arms that I didn't even think about anything else but him.

"I don't need it," I assure him, my fingers resting flat against his chest.

He furrows his brows. "You sure?"

I nod, tightening my hold on him. "I have you." I let my words hang in the air, knowing he understands. He quiets the noise within me. All I've ever needed is him.

His face softens into a smile, and he brushes my hair back, tucking my head against his chest once more. "Go to sleep, pretty girl," he murmurs. "I've got you."