9. Chapter Nine
Chapter Nine
Stephanie
I hop from one foot to the other, my fingers tangled together in the bathroom, looking at the two choices of pajamas I brought in with me. One set is my regular flannel that covers me from neck to feet, or the flannel nightgown that hits my knees. Why is it so hard to decide?
Last night, being covered by Quinn gave me comfort, and by morning I was sweating. I doubt I need the first choice, but the routine of wearing them is hard to break.
I had fun at dinner, but I don't think Quinn did. He didn't say much, and I didn't either. It's hard to get a word in with that group, but I enjoyed their chatter. I didn't like knowing he was uneasy. As bears, we are naturally solitary. We aren't big conversationalists in group settings. I kept my hand on his thigh most of the meal, attempting to calm him. It was the first time I initiated contact without his prompting, and it felt good. Just like everything else, he didn't make a big deal out of it, even though it was for me.
As much as I like his friends and being with Breeane again, it was a relief to escape back to my apartment. The silence is a blessing.
Quinn had already used the bathroom, and I found him a clean toothbrush. Now he's waiting in my bedroom, and deciding on pajamas is taking too long. I'm worrying about sleeping in the bed. I doubt Quinn will want to make a bed in the closet again, and he shouldn't have to. I know the bed would be more comfortable.
I crave being close to him. My brain may be a jumbled mess, filled with fears and insecurities, but I know I need to sleep next to him. Smell his manly scent. Feel his big body covering me, keeping me safe.
I didn't have to worry about the locks tonight, knowing he was here, and he made sure they were engaged. I already have more faith in him than I thought possible. I know it will keep growing the more time I spend with him.
I roll my eyes at myself, grab the nightgown, and quickly slip it over my head. Once the decision is made, the knot in my stomach unravels. I run through the list of my actions since I came in here. The habit will be difficult to break, and I'm not going to try yet.
I open the door, turn off the light, and look at the bed. No Quinn. I frown, and movement in the closet spreads warmth to my battered heart.
"Come, Little Cub," he says from the closet. I move quickly to him. He's so fucking good. "I found more blankets in the closet." He pulls them back on my side so I can drop to my knees and crawl inside.
He flicks them over me when I settle on my back. "Thank you."
"Welcome," he replies.
I glance over and see he is shirtless; the blankets pushed down to his jean-covered hips. I bite my lip. He can't be comfortable. I look at his profile.
"Are you comfortable?" I ask, not able to hold the question back.
"Yes. Why?" He turns to meet my gaze.
I look down and back up. "You're wearing jeans."
"I'm fine," he says softly.
I suck my lip in my mouth, unsure if I should go on. "You could take them off," I suggest. "Wear your boxers."
"I could if I was wearing any," he says with a slight grin .
"Oh," I mumble and then gasp when he reaches over, pulling my lip.
"Don't do that."
"Okay," I say quickly.
I look anywhere but at him. He's just so fucking handsome. I love his short beard. I like the way it feels when he kisses me. His eyes are hypnotic, not only the unusual color differences, but he sees every emotion and doubt. I haven't gotten to touch him, and I want to badly. The heat is amping up again, but it's also because he's a beautiful man. My hands itch to run over his massive chest. He's given me so much pleasure, and I want to give him some.
I've never been the take-charge kind of girl in a relationship. I like following my partner's lead. It's natural. It doesn't mean I don't know what I want or make me less of an independent woman. I realize I have gravitated to men with the confidence and leadership energy. I just haven't found one who I want to follow for the long term. Now, the universe gave me a man who is everything I have wished for. I don't have to know everything about him to know he is the perfect match for me.
"Little Cub," Quinn hums.
"Huh?" I blink and turn my head. He pushes the covers off him completely, drops back down, and laces his hands behind his head.
"Explore," he says.
"What?" Did the man crawl into my brain?
"Straddle my hips and explore," he commands.
"Really?" I ask.
"Little Cub," he growls.
I quickly throw off the blankets in excitement, but then I'm kneeling next to his waist, and I slow down. I'm such a dork. I look up, hoping he didn't think the same; he looks back at me calmly.
He crooks his finger as I hesitate. Jesus, if he wasn't hot enough .
I lift my leg, my hands pressing into his stomach, as I straddle him. I gulp.
He groans. "Are you okay?" I ask.
"It feels good having you on top of me."
"Oh…" His jeans rub roughly against my thighs, and I have to agree.
"Touch as much as you want."
I look down. "You are beautiful."
"If you say so," he says.
"I do," I say firmly.
"Alight, you can call me that. Only you," he grins, and I'm very pleased.
"Good," I say, deciding to be honest, making him chuckle.
"My possessive mate," he rumbles.
"I am," I say firmly.
"I'm glad."
I start slowly, sliding my hands up his stomach and taking my time over each muscle. His skin is soft, yet so hard underneath. As I move up, my body stretches over his. My breasts slide over his stomach, and my nipples harden. Quinn doesn't have a six-pack, but he's trim at the waist—a manly waist. I can tell he takes care of his body but doesn't spend all his time in a gym. He has natural muscles because of his bear species. I've never liked a man who is cut. I can appreciate them from a distance, but I want a man who enjoys food and isn't obsessed with everything he puts in his mouth.
Of course, shifters burn calories quickly, and our bodies need the fuel for shifting. Most are always in shape. Quinn is a man who's big enough to guard and protect his mate.
I glide my fingers over the base of his neck and across to cup his shoulders, his muscles flexed from his position. I squeeze my thighs, pushing up to reach. His shoulders are wide and strong. I am flush against his chest, and my body is warming.
"You didn't have fun tonight," I state.
"I enjoyed being next to you," he says softly. I trail my fingers up his arms, my face close to his.
"You don't like spending time with them?"
"It's not that," he starts with a sigh. "I like all of them, even Sally." I retrace my path, my eyes on my fingers. "I've tried to keep distance between us."
"Why?" I stop moving and rest my hands under my chin.
He tips his chin, looking under his lashes. "I've always been selective about the company I keep. I have made the wrong decisions in the past on who I've trusted. I've been let down."
"By who?" I whisper.
He hesitates. "My mother left us. She was there one day and gone the next. We still don't know where she is."
"Quinn," I gasp.
"I loved her and didn't see it coming. I guess since then, I find it hard to believe that people won't just disappear," he confesses, laughing shortly. "Fuck, I didn't realize it until I said it out loud." He rolls his joined hands from behind his head to the top, flexing in his hair. "Watching my dad wither into a shell of a man after she left was heartbreaking. I never want to go through that with anyone. I find it easier to leave a friendship first or never get that close."
"Do you think I will leave?" I ask, dropping my chin to my hands.
"Meeting you just enforces the disbelief that she could leave without looking back. I can't imagine a scenario where I would leave you." He drops his hand to cup my hip. "I will never walk away," he says fiercely. "Do you believe me? "
"Yes." And I do.
"Good. If you ever get to that point, talk to me," he says seriously.
"I will, Quinn. I promise," I say firmly.
He nods. "It must have been painful for her to be away from her mate. I don't know how it couldn't," he muses.
"You still don't know what happened?"
"No. If my dad knows, he's not telling. He has lived in misery since she left, but his love for her is still pure."
"I'm sorry." I kiss above my hands.
"Thanks, Little Cub."
"Would you want to see her again?"
"Of course, but it wouldn't be a happy reunion. I would want answers. Those answers would have to be good enough for me to forgive her. I like finding the truth. I need to know why."
"Have you looked for her?" Being in his business, I'm sure he has the connections.
"I started to," he says softly. "But I stopped myself. Obviously, she doesn't want to be found. I would hate to find her only to be unwanted or, worse, she was dead. Well, fuck, we were already discarded. I want the answers, yet I don't want to follow through with the steps to get them. I was much younger when she left, so I didn't have any idea how to find her. I asked my Dad to look, but he refused."
"Is she the only one that caused you to distance yourself from your friends?"
"Unfortunately, no." He drops his other hand to my opposite hip. "I worked with two men who became my friends. They are dangerous men. One is a vampire."
"Micah," I assume.
"Yes. The other one is something that is rumored to be extinct. Maybe one day I will tell you, but he is very secretive. He doesn't share his species with many people." He squeezes his hand. "If he allows it. "
"I understand."
"We became friends. The closest friends I've ever had," he whispers.
"Not now?"
"Things happened, and we drifted apart." He sighs. "That's a lie. I cut off the relationship."
"Do you want them back in your life?" I lightly glide my fingers over his skin.
"Maybe." He frowns. "There is a lot more to our story, but I'm not ready to share it."
"I won't pressure you. I'm here when you need me to listen," I offer. I know all about wanting to keep memories deep inside.
We fall silent. He closes his eyes, and I move my hands back to his shoulders, turn my head, and rest my cheek against his chest. His heartbeat is steady, and it reassures me to hear it. There are so many words we haven't said, and things we don't know about each other, yet I have never been more attached to someone.
Breeane is my best friend and my sister, but our connection is drastically different. I trust her, love her, and have depended on her a lot over the past few months. But, of course, there were many things she couldn't relate to. She was human until a short time ago, and even though she was turned into a shifter, she wasn't born into this world.
Quinn moves his hand up my back to cup my neck.
"There is not a line I won't cross to protect you and the bond we are building," he rumbles.
My throat closes. His fierceness doesn't scare me; quite the opposite. His words dive deep into my soul, filling all the emptiness that being in the cage tore out.
"Quinn," I sob, unsure how to respond, but the gravity of his confession means everything.
"I will eventually bare it all to you. Every deep, dark secret. All the things I am ashamed of, afraid of, and willing to do a hundred times more because of the rightness of them. I ask that you keep an open mind and trust in our bond."
"I will. I promise," I say as I lift my head to meet his eyes.
"Good." He slides his hand over my ass. "I want you to pick a word that will stop anything I am doing to you."
I freeze. "Any word?"
"Yes."
"Cage."
"Alright. That is your word. If I do anything that scares you or makes you nervous, you say cage, and everything stops. We will talk. I will never be mad if you use it. If you say stop, I will stop."
"Okay," I agree. The warmth is spreading from the areas he is touching.
"I won't fuck you tonight, but I want to play more."
"Play how?"
"I want to eat you," he says.
"Uh…" It amazes me how blunt he is.
"Is that a yes?" He raises an eyebrow.
"Yes," I squeak. What girl is going to turn that down?
He rolls me over, slides his hands away, and pushes up to his hands and knees. I stare up at his handsome face as he looks from my face down my body. My face flushes from the heat in his expression.
"I like the nightgown, Little Cub," he says. "Did you wear it for me?"
"Yes," I whisper.
"Good Cub," he praises.
"Thank you." His words hit me, the pride in his voice addicting, and I want more.
"Are you ready? "
"Yes."
"What is the word?"
"Cage," I reply quickly. I feel heavy with desire in my breasts and my pussy.
"Good Cub." He pushes with his palms and rests back on his knees between my spread legs. I watch his hands lift and cup my calves.
I bite my lip.
The glide of his hands as they travel up and over my knees makes me shiver in need. His hands are rough. I wait in anticipation when his fingertips move over my thighs that are bare since my gown fell to my hips as we rolled. This thumb slips under the band of my underwear, and my eyes close as he rubs back and forth, back and forth. He teases the crease of my thighs before moving back, never completely connecting.
"Quinn," I whimper.
"What, Little Cub?" he asks, not allowing me to answer, he continues. "Open your eyes." They snap open at the demand. "I always want your eyes on me."
"Okay." At this point, with his demands and praise, I'm going to come before he puts his mouth on me.
"I'm going to use my claws," he tells me, removing his hands. In a blink, his hands transform. "I don't want you to move an inch to take off your panties," he explains. I watch wide-eyed as he shreds the sides of the fabric.
"Jesus," I cry, the act pushing me to the verge of orgasm.
"What a beautiful pussy," he growls, retracting his claws, his focus between my legs. "Daddy is very hungry."
He drops to his elbows, throws my legs over his shoulders, and cups my thighs. My back comes off the floor when he sucks my clit. He moves on quickly, running his tongue from it to my lips, sucking from one side to the other, and then darting inside me .
Listen, I have had experience with someone going down on me, but nothing, absolutely nothing can compare to Quinn. If you had asked me before today if I would rather have sex than oral sex, I would have said absolutely. It hasn't been so mind-blowing that I need it, want it, or can't live without it.
I want this every day after today.
His hands flex on my thighs in time with every thrust of his tongue. I'm ready to come. It's embarrassing how fast he gets me to that point.
"Quinn," I pant.
He pulls back slightly. "Come as many times as you want." A pull happens in my stomach from his breath, hitting my wet flesh. "In the future, there will be many times when I want you to hold it for me, but this isn't one of those times," he says before covering me with his mouth again and feasting. The rub of his beard on my tender flesh takes me to another level.
"Fuck." My hand hits the top of his head, and I come. And then I come some more. "Oh, yes," I moan.
The orgasm rolls through me, and I press my head into the pillow. My other hand cups my throat, feeling my wildly beating heart.
"Good Cub. That was stunning," he rasps, pulling back.
I look through my lashes at my mate. He drops my legs to the floor but presses his hands on the inside of them to keep them spread.
"Quinn?"
"I'm going to use my fingers, and I want you to come again." He unbuttons his pants and slides down his zipper. "While my fingers are inside you, I'm going to jerk off."
I gulp. Holy shit. He pulls out his cock, and I try not to pass out. "Umm…" My hand contracts, and my breath cuts off from the action, so I know I'm not dreaming.
"Little Cub," he calls, and I hear the humor in his voice. "Eyes up here."
I blink rapidly and meet his twinkling eyes. "Huh?"
"Are you ready?" I nod frantically. "Give me the words."
"Yes, very ready," I say.
He doesn't waste any time, thrusting his fingers inside of my swollen pussy. I have never had two orgasms in a row. I never thought it possible, but I'm already on the verge when my mate circles his cock with his hand. I get even closer as he strokes.
"So tight, Little Cub. You feel so fucking good. The second I put my cock inside of you, I'm going to come. You're too delicious. Do you like watching me?"
"I do, so much," I groan.
"I love watching your pussy suck my fingers." He adds another digit, and my legs shake. "Yes, take them."
"Please," I beg, not knowing what I want him to do.
"Faster, Little Cub?"
"Yes."
"How about now? Is that fast enough?" He speeds up, keeping both hands in time with each other. I swear I see him swell even bigger. How is that possible?
"Fuck, I'm going to come," I cry.
"Do it. Shower my hand with your come." The waves roll over me again, this time even more powerful than before. "Yes, Little Cub."
"Oh, Daddy," I whimper.
"Fuck." His bear fills his eyes, and he leans forward. "Move your nightgown," he says. "Hold it under your breasts."
I desperately try to do as he asks with unsteady hands, knowing why and eager to see him come on me .
"Daddy," I sob, barely getting it out of the way before he comes. His hand jerks, the warmth hitting my stomach. He growls through his gritted teeth as he covers me.
"Holy fuck." He drops back, pulling his fingers out of me, and replaces his other hand with them. He slowly strokes, covering himself with my come. "Beautiful."
I'm wrecked. My mate wrecked me with two orgasms, his come on my stomach, and the gorgeous view of him coming undone. He hasn't even fucked me yet. I'm not sure I can survive it—I might pass out the minute he gets his cock inside me.
I lay on the floor of my closet, spent, satisfied, and in shock from the intensity of our time together. I didn't think I could be more satisfied, but he proves me wrong. He moves again, placing the hand he used on me on my stomach. I hold my breath while he rubs his come into my skin.
He's marking me. His scent is all over my skin. The closet is covered in our combined scent.
He looks up, his eyes burning. "Open," he commands.
I open my mouth. He brings his finger to my lips, hesitating, but must see the permission and need in my eyes and continues. I suck. Tasting him. Tasting me. Together.
He slowly drags his finger out and over my lip as he sits back.
"Good. Fucking. Little Cub," he rumbles. He pulls down my nightgown. "Sleep with my scent on you," he instructs. "Do you have to use the bathroom?"
"Yes."
He nods.
"Come back quickly," he continues to boss .
I stumble to the bathroom in a daze. My legs are jelly, and I'm thankful to sit for a moment. As I wash my hands, I glance up and notice my silly grin.
How long has it been since I've smiled like that?
I don't dwell on it and leave the bathroom, hurrying back to my mate.
"I'll be right back," he says.
I watch him walk away, enjoying the play of his muscles as he moves.
I want to uncover everything about Quinn but I won't push him. It's hard to believe we have only known each other for a couple of days. I am surprised how at ease I am with him already. I know the bond is at work, and it's pushing us to be together.
"Ready to sleep, Little Cub?" Quinn crawls beside me.
"Yes, Daddy," I respond, the name rolling off my tongue naturally.
"Thank you," he whispers. "I'm pleased you chose to call me that." He adjusts me under the covers before covering half my body with his and pulling the blankets over. He cups my throat and kisses my forehead. "I will strive to be a good Daddy."
I close my eyes, at peace, knowing my daddy will protect me through the night.