Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty-Four

Abby

Katie: So when are you going to invite us over to England? It’s not fair you get to see Mr. Darcy’s place without us.

Amber: I wish I could see that house, the one they used for the Pride and Prejudice mini-series. It’s not that far from Manchester.

Emmy: Maybe I can convince West to walk out of a pond. hearts for eyes emoji

Me: I somehow think they don’t allow that. Or they’d have a line of people watching their partners walk out of the pond in a shirt like Mr. Darcy did.

Katie: Maybe Nolan could pull some strings and set up a mini-shoot. Then we’d be allowed that way!

Amber: Wait, you’re really going to have him create some fake short movie just so you can watch him walk out of a pond in a mostly see-through white shirt?

Katie: Hell, yes.

Emmy: Now, finding a way to get West to do it, though. That’s going to be hard…

Me: What about you, Amber? Will you convince your boyfriend to do that?

Amber: Er, I’m not sure Jay would. It’s a little over-the-top for him.

Me (typed but deleted): Are you sure he’s really what you want? Because you need a little fun and silliness in your life, and Jay doesn’t have a sense of humor.

Me (actual reply instead): You all can have your Mr. Darcy fantasies. I’d rather watch Rafe on the soccer pitch. Without a shirt, all sweaty and…

Emmy: Ew. Okay, now I understand how you feel when I talk about West and sexy times.

Katie: I’m not related to either, so I’m always available and open to finding new ideas to try with Nolan.

Me: puking emoji Okay, that’s my cue to leave. I have a city to explore!

Katie: With a sexy husband on your arm. Not too shabby. Take lots of pics. heart emoji

W hen I’d first woken up in Rafe’s place, I dreaded leaving my room. Rafe had been so…nice on the plane. It’d felt so easy and natural to tease and talk, and I’d wanted nothing more than for him to kiss me.

But being separated overnight had restored some of my self-preservation skills, and I knew I’d have to find the balance of not completely being cold to Rafe while also not allowing him to burrow further into my heart.

Because each time he made me laugh or shared another part of his life with me, or even surprised me—like with this entire trip—I yearned for the na?ve woman I’d once been. The one who’d trusted so easily. The one who’d loved so easily.

Thankfully, my friends’ group chat had cheered me up. I’d long ago learned that Lyme Park, used for Mr. Darcy’s house in the 1995 version of Pride and Prejudice , wasn’t far from Manchester. My friends and I had watched that show more than we should’ve as teens, and I’d always dreamed of seeing Rafe play a game and then visiting Lyme the next day.

I hadn’t asked him yet if I could go, but I hoped he’d let me.

I just had to get through today first—facing the public, the possible paparazzi, and constantly wondering if someone would mention my ex.

Or if my ex would sell our story and embarrass Rafe.

Don’t allow what-ifs to control your day. You knew Rafe was famous, especially in Manchester. And you can’t do anything about Travis. So, buck up and try to enjoy yourself.

Once I finally got my ass out of bed and brushed my hair, I headed downstairs and found Rafe in the kitchen. After some banter and eating some food, he eventually said, “The only woman I want to see without a bra is you.”

My cheeks heated at the intensity of his gaze.

It was on the tip of my tongue to call bullshit. And yet, as regret and worry flashed in his eyes, I paused another second.

For all his chiseled jaw and hard muscles, in this moment, he looked almost…vulnerable. As if he thought he’d fucked up, or hurt me, or somehow had let me down.

And I hated it. Fucking hated it. He shouldn’t have to keep tiptoeing around me. Especially since Rafe had only tried to accommodate me, to make me happy, to ensure I didn’t feel awkward or out of place.

And what had I done in return? How had I compromised?

By giving him almost nothing. Not much at all.

He’s not Travis. Don’t make him suffer for someone else’s actions.

For the first time in a long time, that fun-loving girl I’d been surfaced, and an idea struck. One that I wouldn’t have dared do a few weeks ago.

But now? Oh, I wanted to do it. Badly.

So I lifted my tank top and flashed Rafe.

His eyes darted to my breasts, and my nipples tightened. He growled, reached out as if to touch me, and then stopped.

No. Don’t stop.

I must’ve said it out loud because Rafe’s eyes met mine again. “Are you sure?”

My heart raced, and my nipples throbbed. If I let him do this, there would be no keeping him at arm’s length to protect my heart.

And yet, I was tired of being cautious. Tired of punishing myself for something Travis had done to me. Tired of longing to be touched again, to experience the intimacy of sex that would temporarily make me forget about being lonely.

“I want you, Rafe. Touch me.”

He put out his hand, palm up, and I dropped my shirt to place mine in his. He tugged, and I went to him until I stood between his legs. I could feel his hot breath through my shirt, my nipples begging for his touch as wetness rushed between my thighs.

He lightly traced me through the material of my top, and I sucked in a breath. His dark brown eyes met mine. “Last chance—do you want me to suck these hard little nipples before I make you come?”

I squeezed my thighs together and licked my lips. “Yes.”

His hands went to the hem of my shirt and lifted. Inch by inch, the material brushed over my sensitive skin, until finally he reached my breasts. Instead of tugging the shirt off, he moved the material up and down, snagging my nipples, and I cried out.

“I’ve dreamed of this, Abigail. Every night since I returned to Starry Hills.”

Before I could think too much about that revelation, he tugged off my top and took a nipple into his mouth.

He lightly nibbled and suckled, and I had to put my hands on his shoulders to stay standing. Each tug or pull or lick made my knees even weaker. And once he repeated it all over again with the other side, I was nearly whimpering.

He finally released me, kissed the top of my breast tenderly, and then ran his hands down my side, up again, and then to the waist of my shorts. “Let me see all of you, Abigail. Let me taste you again.”

I nodded, and he said, “Tell me with words. I don’t want you to regret this later.”

My temper sparked, and I raised my chin. “You’d better eat my pussy now, Rafe, or I may knee you in the balls again.”

He chuckled before taking my lips in a rough, demanding kiss. Then he murmured, “As my lady wishes.”

After standing, he slowly tugged off my shorts, until I had to step out of them. Since I didn’t wear underwear to bed, I stood naked in front of him.

His hands went to my waist, lifted, and he set me on the tall chair. His fingers caressed my cheek, so softly that I could barely feel it. Combined with the awestruck look in his eyes, my own heated with tears.

No man had ever looked at me like that before—as if I were the most precious thing in the world, the person they wanted to treasure and keep forever.

It’s not for forever, Abby. Remember that.

His brows drew together, but then his expression cleared and he ran his hands down my neck, my shoulders, and then cupped my breasts.

Leaning down, he kissed one and then the other. “You’re so fucking perfect, Abigail, so beautiful.”

Memories threatened to return, ones of my ex saying I was too small-chested or that my hips were too wide or that my thighs were too thick.

But I quickly shoved them aside. Right here, right now, I wanted Rafe to help me make new memories to replace the old. Even if it wasn’t forever, it would help. I knew it would.

His hands cupped my face before he kissed me. Slowly, tenderly, taking his time to sample and nibble and caress.

Part of me wanted to tell him to hurry up. And yet, another part of me reveled in feeling treasured, special, and desired.

I widened my legs and pulled him closer. Needing to feel more of him, I ran my hands under his shirt and moaned at how hot and hard his chest was.

His hands traveled down my body until he pressed my legs even wider. One hand moved along my inner thigh, stopping to caress the crease where my leg met my torso, and my pussy throbbed.

He was so close, and yet in no hurry.

I growled with impatience.

Rafe chuckled, kissed the tip of my nose, and said, “The anticipation will only make it better, love. Trust me.”

I may not be able to trust him with my heart. But when it came to orgasms, he’d already given me a mind-blowing one. So I replied, “I will. But no edging me for hours. I still want to see the stadium.”

His hand moved from the crease of my leg to lightly brush my entrance. The touch was featherlight, barely there, and yet I cried out at the sensation.

His husky voice rolled over me as he said, “Not this time, love. I’m too greedy to watch you fall apart on my tongue again.”

Before I could think too much about his use of “love,” Rafe slowly kneeled in front of me. It was awkward to watch, as he had to be careful with his injured leg, and I tried to tug him up. “No, Rafe. Don’t hurt yourself.”

He ignored me and finished kneeling. “I’m fine, love. The pain goes away as soon as I do this.”

Lowering his head, he licked my pussy.

As he continued to tease and lap and nibble, I forgot about everything but the man between my legs and the building tension in my lower belly. My fingers went to his hair to hold him in place, and I arched my hips. But Rafe moved away from my clit to my entrance instead, fucking me with his tongue, and I tried to guide his head back up.

With a chuckle, he stopped and met my gaze again, his lips glistening with my arousal. “I’ll make you come, love, I promise. But let me stay in control this time. You can tease me all you want later, if you ever want to suck my dick.”

At the thought of Rafe naked and standing, his cock jutting out long and hard as I licked and teased and finally took him into my mouth, even more wetness rushed between my thighs.

He gently traced my opening. “You want that, don’t you? You’re getting wetter just thinking about my dick between those perfect lips of yours.”

His words were ambiguous and could mean my mouth or pussy. And yet, suddenly, I wanted to know what it was like to have him inside me both places.

He lightly thrust his finger into my pussy, and I arched toward him. “Please, Rafe. Stop talking and use your mouth on me instead.”

He snorted, but lowered his head and continued fingering me as his mouth suckled my clit. The more he teased me with his mouth and tongue, the harder it became to breathe until lights danced before my eyes and pleasure rushed through me.

Wave after wave made more intense as Rafe continued to lap at my clit with his tongue.

Eventually I slumped in the chair, feeling relaxed and sleepy, and looked down to meet Rafe’s eyes again. He looked smug, and yet I couldn’t fault him for it. Before I could think better of it, I said, “You’re good with your mouth.”

He grinned, and my heart skipped a beat.

He said, “Just wait until you see what I can do with my dick.”

He waggled his eyebrows dramatically, and I laughed. “Someone’s confident.”

After kissing my inner thigh, and then the other, he stood awkwardly and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. His finger trailed gently down my cheek. Combined with the tender look in his eyes, I stopped breathing.

He murmured, “Say the word, and I’ll show you it’s more than being cocky.”

As we stared at one another, my heart raced and my cheeks heated as I struggled to reply. A few words from me, and I could have one of my most desired fantasies.

And yet, the thought of merely sleeping with Rafe and walking away squeezed my heart.

At one time, that would’ve been enough. And now? Now I wanted the impossible—to date Rafe for real and maybe keep him forever.

Eventually, Rafe stepped back and smiled at me. “Think about it. For now, if we don’t get a move on, we won’t have time for everything on today’s schedule. I’ll shower while you finish eating, and then you can get ready.”

Part of me screamed to say screw it and ask Rafe to take me to bed.

However, I needed time to think about what I wanted. Because taking a leap of faith with Rafe would mean no going back.

And I wasn’t sure if I was quite ready for that yet. Yes, I wanted it. But there was still so much in the air when it came to my ex, that I needed to fix some of that first.

Since he looked at me expectantly, I replied, “Um, okay. Sure.”

He nodded. “I’ll be quick.”

With that, he raced up the stairs, and I heard the bathroom door close.

After quickly tossing on my tank top and shorts, I headed back to my room, closed the door, and leaned against it. Part of me was confused, another part angry, and another part just sad.

Because for a split second, Rafe’s eyes had said he cared about me and wanted me for real.

And I’d chickened out.

So why did getting exactly what I wanted make me feel so sad?