6. Sacha

Chapter six

Sacha

T here was no getting around it, I had to tell my mother that I'd found my mate. Marking Zeke like that had nearly caused me to shift into my werewolf form! I'd never felt such an urge before. I could absolutely control my shifts outside of the moon nights, but I'd nearly succumbed with Zeke. That had to mean we were fated mates just as much as the way his scent called to me.

Zeke Castro was meant to be mine. And now I had to start fighting for him.

Even if he didn't know what I really was yet.

But that was why I needed to start at the top of my pack. Mother was leading as my younger half-brother Gavril's proxy until he came of age. When our former alpha, Gavril's father, died last year, no one had suddenly become an alpha—which was how things usually went. We'd had to name a leader instead, with the thinking being that Gavril might be an alpha once he was an adult. My cousins—Gavril's uncles—had been making noise about how one of them should've been named leader over a human, so Mother's hold wasn't as ironclad as she'd like.

She made sure I knew that everything I did reflected on her, and being in a gay relationship—while not against pack law anymore—wasn't something Mother's rivals would cheer about.

Well, actually, they would cheer but because it would be another reason to take the pack away from her. Being queer was seen as a deficiency, so while no one would actively hate me for it, they would see me as lesser. As I slipped down the rungs of pack hierarchy, it could be seen as my mother doing the same.

No one could dispute Gavril's potential claim to the pack since his father had been alpha, but I was pretty sure the entire pack only barely tolerated Mother's leadership. After all, she was human and only in charge because Gavril was just six years old.

Having thought through all of that on the way to her office, I hesitated to knock on the door now. Maybe it would be better not to tell her or anyone else. Maybe I could leave when Zeke did and just follow him to, uh, wherever he lived. His people could become my pack. It could work. Right? Someone had to have made it work before me.

I was just about to turn tail and run when I heard a man raise his voice inside Mother's office. "Those damn cats keep getting closer to pack lands every day, and your solution is to ignore them?" he hollered, and I thought that might be my older cousin Titus who was one of Gavril's uncles.

Mother must be meeting with members of the elite in the pack to discuss the encroaching cougar shifters. Our pack lands were also the town's borders and included some three thousand acres of forest. I hadn't run into any cougars on our lands, but there were signs that they'd been around that anyone could sniff out. Too many predators in one area and the humans would start to notice and maybe call for a culling to protect tourists and livestock. No one wanted that, so it was strange that the cougars weren't being more cautious as well.

That Mother was advocating to ignore the trouble was also strange. We had an entire squad of fighters that did nothing but train to defend our territory. Why wouldn't she activate them?

The door suddenly opened, and I flinched back in embarrassment at being caught eavesdropping. Members of the elite—Gavril's uncles and their trusted inner circles—began marching out of the room. They flowed around me like I was a boulder in the river, not bumping into me but also barely acknowledging me. I didn't bother trying to get through them and just waited for them to leave completely.

Titus stopped directly in front of me. I couldn't help meeting his gaze, though I knew I should look down. He had twenty years and fifty pounds on me though we were the same height. I couldn't take him, and yet I stood my ground and looked him in the eyes anyway.

"You're Cosmin's son," he said.

"Yes."

"Cecil's great-grandson."

"Yes."

He blew out a breath through his nose and moved around me, following the others down the stairs.

What had that been about? He hadn't exactly been asking questions, but he knew my lineage the same as I knew his. Why in the world would Titus bring up any of that now?

"Sacha?" Mother said as she appeared in the doorway. "Why are you lingering in the hallway?"

I was a terrible liar, so I didn't even attempt to come up with some other reason for being there. I had to tell her the truth. "I have news."

"Good news, I hope." She moved back into the office, picked up some papers from the desk, and shoved them into a file cabinet.

I stepped into the room and closed the door behind me. "For me, I think."

"Uh-huh." She grabbed more papers and turned her back on me as she filed them.

"I've found my mate." I cleared my throat and wiped my sweaty hands on my thighs. "His name is Zeke."

Mother went very still before she spun around. "Have you lost your mind?"

"This really shouldn't—"

"Be a problem?" she barked at me as she slammed the filing cabinet closed. "You can't be that stupid."

I cringed inside, hating when she called me that. "Mother, please—"

"No, you listen to me ." She stalked over and fisted the front of my shirt, yanking me down to eye level with her. I stared into her eyes, too, even though I should definitely drop my gaze. I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

"You are not going to jeopardize my hold on this pack, do you hear me?" She gripped my shirt up under my chin. "I can't stop you from claiming him—lord knows I remember how that shit works—but you had better be discreet . Anyone notices and you've just got yourself a little fuck buddy," she said with a sneer before her face hardened again. "You do not have a male mate."

She pushed me away, and I stepped back. Now I stopped looking her in the eye, but only because I turned away to leave.

"Tell me you understand me, Sacha. I swear to god."

"I understand."

I left the room feeling oppressed and pathetic. Mother wasn't the alpha, didn't have an alpha's abilities, but she could certainly crush a spirit like one. So much for my tiny little hope that I could have support! No, now I had to keep Zeke a secret.

Did that include not telling him what I was? Fuck. It probably did. How was I supposed to really bond with him if I had to keep secrets from him? No one would put up with only knowing parts of their lover for very long. I would have to tell him everything eventually.

Maybe following him home was the right idea after all.

I considered going to work after that, but found myself wandering away from the hotel instead. I'd thought maybe an aimless walk around the forest might help me clear my head, but when I looked up, I realized my feet had taken me right to Zeke.

He was leaning back on a bench beside the fountain in the center of town with his arms along the back of it, his legs stretched out, and ankles crossed in front of him. I took a moment to admire the serene smile on his lips and the way the sunlight cascading over him made the touch of silver in his hair and beard sparkle like tinsel. That he was older than me was something I liked about him because he was so confident and at ease with himself.

I went over to stand in front of him, blocking the sun. He blinked up at me and immediately smiled. "Hey, you." His smile dimmed. "What's wrong?"

"I told my mother."

"Oh, baby," he said and reached for me. "I'm so—"

But I couldn't let anyone know and so I stepped back and looked around to see who nearby might know me. I didn't see anyone, but that didn't mean I felt like I could relax. When I looked again at Zeke he was clearly saddened, but also nodding.

"I can't let anyone know," I tried to explain and goddamn, I hated saying that out loud.

He stood up and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Can we go somewhere? To talk?"

That he felt the need to clarify what we'd do when we were alone hurt my heart because I was pretty sure all he wanted to do was hug me. I itched to be defiant. Was it really so bad if I stood here in the center of town and let another man hold me because I was upset?

But I felt like I was on shaky ground and that uncertainty made me a coward.

"How about my room?" Zeke asked. "I'll go up now, and you follow when you can. I'm in room two-ten."

I nodded, grateful that he was trying to accommodate me at all. My mate was such a good man! I wanted to be stronger and show him that I was a good man, too. Just…not right now.

Watching Zeke walk away was painful. Everything in me wanted to call out to stop him or race to catch up to him. Almost everything in me, since there was a tiny timid part that worried about what would happen if someone saw me going into the hotel with him. Of course, then my mind played out every scenario from Mother's disappointment to getting thrown out of the pack. I closed my eyes and rubbed at them like that might get the movies in my mind to stop playing.

Fuck it. Zeke was maybe two minutes ahead of me, but it would have to be enough. I started walking after him. He was getting into the elevator when I walked into the lobby, so I took the stairs. Both the elevators and the stairwells had cameras, but the hallways didn't, so I waited outside his room and tried to relax. Technically, I was doing what Mother had asked and being discreet. I wasn't doing anything wrong.

Zeke saw me the instant he got off the elevator, and I watched his gaze flick around. Guessing I knew what he was looking for, I said, "There aren't any cameras in the hallways."

His shoulders relaxed and he nodded as he opened the door and walked into his room. I followed him inside and was immediately wrapped in his embrace before the door shut behind me. I leaned into him and held him in return.

"Are you okay?" he asked against my neck.

"Sort of?"

"Yeah."

Zeke just held on and breathed with me, and it was the most perfect thing he could've done.