EIGHTEEN

Oliva tossed a dress on her bed and thought about endings, wondering why the universe couldn't manage clearer signs when a crash and burn was imminent.

She was reasonably sure that the brief acrimonious encounters she'd shared with Zane over the last week were meant to be just that, but she couldn't be certain.

The weather pattern had been unpredictable, and she didn't know if he was going to snarl or take her into his arms like it was his last day on earth when he happened to stop by.

Bella barked out a greeting as the screen door slapped shut. "Friend or foe?"

Heavy footsteps clomped against the wooden floors, and she assumed the latest Zane storm was about to land on her shores.

She sighed, lifted a dress off the pile, and prayed it would fit better than the last.

"Hey, Liv, what are you doing?"

"Hello, neighbor." She dropped the dress on the bed and tried calculating the chances of being blessed with the mother of all it's not you, it's me speeches. "How have you been?"

"Not much different than when you saw me a couple of days ago." He looked down at the dog on his heel. "I can't seem to shake this little beast."

Stepping back, she told herself there wasn't a bite of recrimination in his tone but one of frustration. "I guess he's enamored and showing you some proper hero worship."

"Where are you going?" He lifted a discarded dress and frowned. "We don't have special plans I've forgotten about, right?"

She snorted and immediately saw his frown deepen. "We've yet to have a date, sir. So the answer is no, we've got no plans. Special or otherwise."

"We've been places."

"We've done errands and grabbed a sandwich, so I suppose there is some truth in that. But you've never asked me out on a proper date." His generous mouth flattened into a firm line. Was she not supposed to point that out? "So, what have you and Linc been up to?"

"Are you done with me already?" He dropped the dress and crossed his arms. "Did you find yourself someone new who will play the part of Prince Charming with enthusiasm?"

A cold feeling of dread slid along her spine. "Why are you starting a fight? Were you too lazy to craft a decent see-ya speech?" The way his body bristled with anger didn't bother her as much as she expected. It seemed she did have lines that couldn't be crossed, and her self-respect truly was alive and well.

"You didn't answer the question!"

"I don't know who peed in your Cheerios, but I will not be baited into a ridiculous skirmish." She lifted the pile of dresses. "I have all kinds of feelings for you, but this is not a day to test which ones rise to the top." She marched into her closet and counted backward from fifty, hoping to control her temper by the time she rehung her clothes.

The man was beyond infuriating, and she was beginning to think that their brief moments of connection wouldn't be enough. It was up to him to evict his ever-present demons. The ones that told him he didn't deserve better and the only way to balance the ledger was to sacrifice his life alongside the men who didn't make it home.

Sayonara, happy sex hormones. They were no match for the pain and loss he clung to.

Not that she thought the connection they occasionally managed would be. She wasn't a damn fool, after all.

Or was she? She straightened the hangers and decided she was as centered as she was going to get. It was time to deal with the exasperating man and get on with her day. When she stepped out of her closet, she saw Zane standing next to the window. "I can make up a hundred stories about what has caused your behavior, or you can just tell me. There's no need to put on a big show. If you've lost interest, just say it."

Doing what she could to ignore the uncertainty in his eyes, she attempted a small fortification of her emotional walls—not going to settle for ambiguity and not going to settle for yes one minute and no the next. Not going to settle for mind-blowing sex in exchange for… that last thought was perhaps a bit hasty. It might be best to leave that one alone for now. "I have plenty of wine, chips, and ice cream. I'm more than able to handle you scuttling off like a wounded bear and disappearing into your cave."

The gust of air that escaped his mouth was impressive, and she guessed that he found her slightly theatrical but no doubt entertaining plea somewhat annoying. "I'm ready, Zane. Hit me with your best departing speech."

"I have no idea what the hell I'm doing." He stalked over and took her hand. "And I don't have some kind of speech prepared." He leaned back and studied her face. "Is that disappointment I see?"

"No," she sputtered. "Okay, maybe a little since I have two snappy comebacks and one mind-bending retort ready."

"I'm sorry that I've been acting like an ass. I know how to be a warrior on the front lines." He twisted his mouth. "It's probably the place I'm most comfortable. And truth be told, there are days when I want to be back in the fight. Because there's nothing like the rush of adrenaline when you have a chance to take out the enemy, whoever it might be."

She ran her finger over a puckered scar on his forearm and assumed it was from a bullet. "Right now, I'm the only enemy you've got since I've messed with your hermit plans. I'm the disrupter in the quiet life you were hoping to find."

"You're not…"

She held her breath, letting it out slowly when he didn't say more. "I'm going to kick you out so I can get ready."

"What kind of plans require you to show off those damn fine legs of yours?" He moved closer. "Do I have to take up my sword and show the competition what they have to look forward to?"

"As if you'd do such a thing." Feeling his grip tighten, she looked up. "All your recent bluster and bad manners suggest you'd like nothing more than to be free of my attention."

"Not free, Liv."

"Not really buying that, but no matter."

"Do you need a ride to wherever you're going?"

"No, Zane. It's the sixth anniversary of Thad's passing, and I'm having dinner with his brother and best friend."

"Ah, jeez. I'm sorry."

"No problem." She turned toward her bathroom. "You can bring Killer over in the morning. No need to try and make it work."

"It's fine. He's not bad and can stay at the house."

"Dogs and people deserve a lot more than fine." Not wanting to drag the conversation on longer, she stepped away. "You take care, Zane." She walked into her bathroom and closed the door. Some stories are not meant to be written, and there's no changing that. She flipped on the water and stared at her reflection in the mirror. "Hard days don't last forever. Take one step and then another until you're in a place that feels okay."

She dropped her head as the small room filled with steam, reminding herself she'd already had the worst day of her life. Feeling a smidge better, she stepped into the shower and was grateful she'd protected her soft heart. Zane's ambivalence was stronger than his desire, and that was a fact she'd do well to keep front of mind.

Zane sat back on his knees and accepted that he was welcomed by the inhabitants of Haven. No one gave him a wide berth, whispered behind his back, or made him feel unwanted in any way. In fact, several of them were populating Olivia's yard as they helped him and Linc finish the rehab on the Ferris wheel.

Allen lumbered in his direction, and he pushed himself to his feet. "You heading out?"

"No, I've got myself a hall pass and the evening to do with as I please."

"Get out of here then and do something fun."

Allen tipped his chin toward the gondolas that were currently getting a second coat of pink paint. "All my friends are here, so I'm staying. All this shindig needs is some pizza and beer."

Linc ambled over. "I'll do the grub run."

"Call Ginos, and he'll have someone run it out here," Allen replied, swiping some paint off his arm.

"Done," Linc said as he slid his phone out and walked away.

Zane picked up several of his tools. "Appreciate you getting the men to help out."

"That's what we do here," Allen answered, looking up at the ride. "And let's be honest, this monstrosity will likely end up in one of the town parks, so it's an investment in Haven as much as you and Olivia."

"Me and Olivia?" he asked. "This ride doesn't have anything to do with us."

"Of course it does." Allen rocked back on his heels. "It was the excuse you two needed to be in each other's company. It was a convenient cover that allowed you to explore the attraction while pretending otherwise."

Zane scoffed. "Olivia doesn't need a cover. The woman doesn't possess a single subtle bone and broadcasts her thoughts at full volume."

"I was talking about you, Zane."

"Oh," he said quietly, unsure where to take the conversation next. "I hadn't given any thought to where the ride would permanently reside. Guess I assumed it would stay here."

"Have you given any consideration to where you're going to permanently reside after the renovation is done on the house?"

"Initially, I planned to stay on and live a quiet life, filling time with my antique clock restoration business."

"Sounds like you might've made some revisions to that plan."

Zane didn't want to be discussing his and Liv's relationship. That is if they still had one.

He'd been mucking it up fairly regularly with his growling and snarling and wouldn't be surprised if she wanted no part of him. "Still planning on staying. It's just the quiet part that won't likely happen."

"A full life is rarely a peaceful one." Allen crossed his arms. "You know, this is never an easy day for Olivia, so don't worry too much if she was out of sorts earlier. She's as strong as any woman I know and never lets herself simmer in the grief for too long."

Not wanting to admit his earlier transgression, he kept his mouth shut. How could he have picked a fight on one of her most challenging days? And why didn't she tell him beforehand how significant the day was?

It seemed he wasn't the only one with their drawbridge partially drawn.

"Food and libations are on the way," Linc called out.

"Thanks, cousin."

"No problem." Linc hooked his thumb over his shoulder. "I'm gonna get one more gondola painted before the chow arrives."

"Yeah, I'll do the same," Allen added.

Zane watched both men stride away and again acknowledged that his demons needed to be evicted. There had to be a way to get rid of the lousy bunch of them along with his annoying dead relatives, didn't there?

He studied his hands and thought about what he'd done in the name of freedom. The lives he'd ended of the country's enemies and the men who'd done their level best to do the same to him. Blah, blah, blah, he was tired of the reel of his sins that played continuously and was about ready to quit paying the Devil his due.

Letting out a gust of air, he crouched in front of the engine box and vowed to double down on his efforts to get his mind right.

Olivia deserved better than what he'd been offering, and, one way or another, he needed to find a way to upgrade his emotional literacy.

Several hours later, the sun had dipped low enough in the sky to make any further work on the project impossible, so Zane collected the last of the detritus from their pizza feast and shoved it into a bag. His phone chirped in his pocket, and he was surprised to see Lucy's name on the display. "Hey, everything okay?"

"Not really," she replied. "Can you run over to Greenville and bring Olivia home?"

"Of course. Is she okay?"

"As good as she can be on this day. She doesn't feel up to driving, and I can't go out there. I've got a water leak at the bookstore and am waiting on the plumber. I'm afraid a pipe will pop if I leave, and my books will have to learn how to swim."

"I'll send Linc over. He's a contractor and can fix just about anything."

"No!" Lucy shouted.

He pulled the phone away from his ear. "Okay…but he knows what he's doing."

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to screech in your ear. It's just that I've put a call into Ron, and he promised he'd come as soon as his wife has their baby and…"

"Lucy, did something happen between you and Linc?"

"Of course not! Why would you say that? Did he say something? Because if he did, it's not true, and…I didn't kiss him back. I merely stumbled, and that's why my lips landed on his." She let out a groan. "And to suggest otherwise is a bald-faced lie. Where else could I put my hands, anyway? It's not like I have the balance of a flamingo. A person does have to anchor themselves, after all. And…"

"Lucy, I get it."

"There is nothing to get. And he started it."

"Absolutely."

"Do you want to know where Olivia is, or do you want to continue interrogating me about one mishap that lasted less than a minute and is barely memorable?"

"I'm ready for the intel."

"Good, because she doesn't need to be stranded at the Pink Pig."

"Text me the address, and I'll jump in my truck now."

"Okay. And thank you, Zane."

"In the meantime, I'll tell Linc to stop by because, last I heard, books and water don't mix so good." A long sigh filled his ear.

"Fine. But only because my life's work is at risk. Not because I want to see that confounding man's face."

"Didn't think otherwise." He heard the call end and shook his head, knowing his cousin had met his match in Lucy Bennett. It seemed he wasn't the only one about to get schooled in the intricacies of taming a tiger.

Olivia watched her porch lights come into view and was instantly comforted. "Thanks for the ride, Zane. I just couldn't stomach spending the night at the Motor Inn. The orange bedspread would have been one too many atrocities for my delicate constitution."

"You sure it doesn't have anything to do with the amount of tequila you consumed instead?"

She gingerly turned her head. "Can one ever be completely sure?"

"I guess not." He slid his hand across the console, linking their fingers. "And there's no thanks necessary. I would cross the goddamn Earth if you needed a ride."

"That's so, so lovely." A faint smile crossed her lips. "Complete bullshit. But truly sweet."

"Just because I'm no good at this whole boy, girl thing doesn't mean that I wouldn't ride to your rescue without a second thought."

"I have no doubt." She squeezed his hand as he parked the truck. "Saving a damsel in distress is a side hustle you would certainly excel at. It's the other stuff that trips you up." The silence that followed her statement let her know that spouting her truth willy-nilly probably wasn't a good idea.

The mighty mezcal had loosened her lips and made what small filter she had disappear. She gave him a tight smile. "Thank you again. I'll make you some cookies or something."

"Don't treat me like a damn stranger, Liv."

Sitting up, she felt her head swim. "I don't bake for strangers."

"You know what I mean."

"No, Zane, I don't." She made a split-second decision and clamored over the console. Banging her head twice, she hoped not to end the evening with a concussion. "I need you to spell it out. Very slowly." She pressed her finger into his drawn brows. "Consider it a parting gift."

"I don't want to part, you infuriating woman. Quit trying to get rid of me."

"Me?" she sputtered. "It's you who is constantly backpedaling." She leaned in, feeling her Bennet temper rising like lava. "How dare you put this on me!"

An air of expectation filled the truck"s cab, and she didn't know where the tide of their emotions would take them.

Would they screw each other's brains out or shout down the trees?

Zane's bristling energy pushed against her chest, and she decided that more words wouldn't solve their differences.

"You want to fix this by having raunchy car sex, don't you?" Zane asked quietly.

"Don't pretend like it's a bad idea." She pushed her hands under his T-shirt. "We've been swinging from all loved up to can't pick a fight quick enough. For all we know, sex could fix it." She ran her mouth over his corded neck and felt her big bad warrior shudder. She was never prepared for the way he gave in when she least expected it.

Showing his vulnerability and giving her a glimpse of his need, no matter how unintentional, was a brave act. Something she wasn't confident that she had managed herself.

She let the notion take one lap and then decided it was more than her tired brain could manage at the late hour. It might be best to use the last of her energy to seduce the man and have one last glorious tumble.

She mentally tried to choreograph how she could have her way with him in the truck and couldn't quite figure out the details.

"Liv…"

Dragging her mouth away from his warm skin, she looked up. "Yes?"

"Let's go in the house."

"Let's stay here."

"No way."

She pushed her hair out of her face and sat up. "Well, that's disappointing."

"Having sex in the car doesn't make it mean less." He tilted his chin toward the house. "Let me take you inside."

"Why are you raining on my sexcapades?"

"You've had a lot to drink." He cupped her cheek. "And it's a damn difficult day for you."

"Are you denying me some sexual healing?"

"Nope." He opened the truck door and climbed out while holding onto her. "But we're not going to do it in the truck. I want to see your eyes and make sure it's me you see and not some ghost."

Pushing herself out of his arms, she landed on her feet and swayed slightly. "I don't care for what you're implying, Zane. I'm not trying to use you as a substitute."

"If that's true, you shouldn't be opposed to going upstairs."

She gave him a once over. "I don't know if I want you to come in, after all."

"No take-backs." He lifted her into his arms and strode toward the front door. "If you want it, we're doing it in the bedroom."

The day"s weight crashed on her heavy heart, and she leaned her head against his chest. "I don't know why you've suddenly decided to be so formal. It's not like you'll spend the night."

"Do you want me to stay?"

"I didn't think it was an option since you always disappear before the sun comes up." She gripped Zane's arm as he opened the door and carried her over the threshold. Bella gave her a frown and then pushed her head against the doggy bed. "I think my dog just passed judgment."

"Welcome to my world. Killer forever gives me the side-eye when I evict him from my lap."

Olivia wiggled and felt Zane's grip tighten. "I can make it up the stairs. And really, I'll be fine on my own."

"Liv, I haven't slept over because I don't want you to deal with my nightmares."

"Do you have them every night?"

"Just about," he answered as he ascended the stairs.

"I'll take the risk if you will."

A kiss was pressed to her head, and she hoped it was a yes. If he wasn't going to let her escape into sexual oblivion, then she would take his warm body holding hers.

Even though he wasn't likely to be around for very much longer.

Did that make her the biggest ninny in all the land? Perhaps, but that wasn't a truth that needed to be examined at one in the morning.