Chapter Thirty-Three

CAL

oBITCHuary: Favorite movie?

McMonster: The Wrestler.

oBITCHuary: RUDE. Ask me what's mine.

McMonster: I already know.

oBITCHuary: Well?

McMonster: Little Miss Sunshine.

oBITCHuary: WRONG.

McMonster: RIGHT. Stop lying.

oBITCHuary: FINE. It's a masterpiece and I stand behind my decision. Steve Carell's best work to date.

McMonster: Gotta have a good memory when you lie all the time. You need to keep track.

oBITCHuary: Exactly. Keeping my brain active. That's smart thinking. Favorite color? DON'T SAY BLACK.

McMonster: Purple. Yours is orange.

oBITCHuary: HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS?

McMonster: I pay attention. Favorite word?

oBITCHuary: uyedin'éniy e

oBITCHuary: It's Russian. It is the state of being alone without being lonely. Yours?

McMonster: Well, now I can't tell you mine because it's not half as good as yours.

oBITCHuary: There are no right or wrong answers.

McMonster: Titties.

oBITCHuary: Okay. I take it back. That is the wrong answer.

McMonster: I like the sound, I like the organ, I like the meaning. The prospects. Everything. It's a great word.

oBITCHuary: This is bad.

McMonster: Hey. You asked.

oBITCHuary: Not the word. THIS. You and me.

McMonster: Why?

oBITCHuary: Because we're utterly inevitable.